Saturday, August 12, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

"Outside the dream world, life can be harsh, even cruel, but it is life..." Well, it's nothing like a coupla blunt, slap-you-in-the-face comments to cheer this vague child up. You guys are really sucky friends... but I love ya. T_T I'm a weirdo. I'm melodramatic. Tell me something I don't know. But you people can't deny me my rambling...! It's all I've got! I learned a crucial lesson tonight: NEVER attempt to eat dinner while watching Super Size Me. It just doesn't work... ew... o_O... Oh, my current favorite movie is Saved. I never really thought I'd like it but it was pretty funny. This Christian girl gives up her virginity to her boyfriend to convince him he's not gay because Jesus told her to. Then she gets pregnant. Yeah. It's weird. XD Today I FINALLY got the chance to read the new Gravitation tracks. Murakami is a goddess... I mean, the woman writes her own doujinshi! The story of the tracks (55 and up--basically, the stuff that never got serialized that Murakami put on a webpage) are about, well... where do you begin? Eiri and Shuichi borrow Kitazawa's kid (because evidently, he had a kid). Tohma wears a nurse's uniform (!). And, the most important part... Ryuichi falls for Shuichi, and Shuichi cheats on Yuki with him. It's just amazing to me, how much Ryuichi cares about Shuichi, but Shuichi can still only love Yuki who's so insensitive to him. *sigh* so sad... I can think of no better pairing than Shu/Ryu. *thinks* Okay, knowing me, I probably can. But I'm speaking realistic here. These tracks... the art style looks a whole lot different--the only character who looks normal is, strangely, Yoshiko. o_O Check it out, if you want: click here

Comments (4) | Permalink

Friday, August 11, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

I think I'll be going back home today or Saturday... my mom gets the key to our new place today. I gotta help her move. Oh, my brother's gonna be moving back in with us. Yeah. Cool. ...I'm sorry, I just don't have a whole lot to say today. Not that you guys are complaining, I'm sure; reading my angsty teenage rants is bound to get boring. I could probably name about... *thinks* three, maybe four of you who really truly try to follow my thoughts. Of course, nine times out of ten you fail, but I appreciate the effort nonetheless. But if you're one of those who frankly don't give a damn who I am, and if you really just plan on skimming through the next few paragraphs like you've always done, then with all due respect, stop reading here. I won't be offended. It's really, really frustrating. This place, this site... it used to be my refuge. It was my way to escape from the real world. Somewhere along the last nine months, though, it became my reality. I'm really trapped everywhere now. And what's hardest of all about this place is every action, every transistion my life made is laid out in words. I can't forget. I was reading through my archives and I can't deny the fact that I've changed. And I don't like what I've become. I never ever thought I'd find myself saying this, but I'd give anything to go back to the way I was two years ago. I know that it hurt. I know that it felt so empty that I wanted nothing more than to die. But you know what? At least I was realistic then. I didn't even bother dreaming because I was jaded. I knew it wasn't worth it to get my hopes up then. But I changed. I allowed myself to be happy. To hope. To dream. And now my dreams have consumed me to the point where I don't even pay attention to the world around me. And it'll end up hurting me in the end. I know this, and I'm helpless to prevent it. My very first wish, a year ago, was that things would change. They did. But I never expected it to hurt this much. If that wish ended up hurting me like this... how can I be sure that I even want the rest of my wishes to come true?

Comments (3) | Permalink

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Mood: Today we have a more scatterbrained version of myO... I don't feel like following a definite train of thought, so here's a lovely list. -Joaquin Phoenix is now my favorite person ever. In the past 24 hours I've seen Walk The Line (again), The Village, and Ladder 49. What else has he been in? -When the fuck did they invent blueberry bagels? -Why the fuck is Enter Sandman stuck in my head? -A photobucket search on 'random' gives you 20,000 pages... o_o -Is the music on my site working? My dad's speakers are broken. -Exit light, enter night, take my hand, we're off to never never land... -My brother's car broke. Him and my dad are off buying a new one. -You know, I need a collar. I am a slave after all. Oh, and for the record, my brother knows perfectly well how to cook. He just chooses not to. -Meow. -Jesus, it's hot. -I should beg my dad to take me to the mall today... Okay. I think I'm done. Woo-hoo...

Comments (2) | Permalink

Wednesday, August 9, 2006

California, rest in peace.

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Mood: Well, not really. In a twisted way, I kinda enjoy my role as a slave. Y'know what's weird? Le-kun says I act like an "old woman" (not sure whether I should be flattered or not), and meanwhile, She Whose Name Shall Not Pass Such Unworthy Lips As Mine (should I call you Master? Or maybe Sensei?) feels I act like a child. My mom treats me like a housewife. My brother treats me like a slave. Now I'm really confused. Who am I!? So... in case you couldn't tell, I'm back. XD It was a lot of fun. By day, I learned to boogie-board--not quite a surfer YET, but if my dad gets a job in San Luis Obisbo, I'll get there-- and I pretty much ate shit and drank more salt water than I'd care to admit. By night, we rode all the rides, and I hit the gigantic arcade(s) at the boardwalk and played DDR and Initial D until the place closed. What a life. I love it in Santa Cruz. I mean, Southern Cali's great and all, but it feels so fake with all the rich people. Nor-Cal's more my style. It feels a lot more real. I think that's why I prefer Reno to my hometown of Gardnerville so much. In "G-ville" (*cringe*) it's a small enough town to where you'r expected to wave to everyone you see as you drive down the street, but it's big enough to where you don't have a clue who it is you're waving to. Fake. Let's see, what else... oh yeah, on the wharf a guy broke his leg on his bike and I got to call an ambulance. :3 Also... *looks out the window* Right on that street a couple feet away, North Virginia, a guy got run over by a car last night. Oh, yummy. Accidents all around. It's a wonderful life. I've just discovered the glory that is OnDemand... thanks to it, I saw Howl's Moving Castle twice today, got hooked on Entourage, and occupied hours of my life watching B-grade movies while drinking vanilla coke and eating the pizza bites my brother made me make him. I'm beginning to feel like I was born to serve... and somehow, I enjoy it... ah, the life of me... T_T

Comments (3) | Permalink

Sunday, August 6, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Mood: Disowned. Yeah. It doesn't even merit a picture. Life is cruel. -_-... I hate you... yes, you... you know I'm talking about you and I say mean things about you behind your back and you're so mean to me and despite it all, I love you... oops. I'm rambling again. So I'm at my dad's place right now. He finally got internet, high speed and all... unfortunately, his computer sucks eggs, so I've gotta gut it and get rid of all the crap on it so it'll actually feel high-speed. Tomorrow we're going to Santa Cruz again... I'll be back... Wednesday, I think? It's so weird, I haven't been in this house since all this family separation shit started. You can totally tell that 3 guys live here. Currently in the refrigerator is a bottle of orange soda, a pepperoni stick, a box of pizza with only one slice in it (ever heard of tupperware?), and, of course, a 24-pack of beer. The laundry looks like it's been stacked up for a month. None of the beds are made, naturally. Definitely a guy's place. Ah, I love it here. Viva Reno. So right now I'm with my brother and his friend Chris (who pretty much lives here), and you'd think they were cavemen... I asked them if they were hungry, and they just go, "YES!" as though they'd never worked a microwave in their life. They love having a woman around the house. Speaking of which, I gotta go heat some spaghetti-o's (it IS a guy's place) and thaw a coupla burritos.

Comments (6) | Permalink

Saturday, August 5, 2006

Hello, floor. Make me a sammich.

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Mood: Yeah, it's not a mood. So...? Holy abruptness. We're moving out. On frickin' Friday. That was unexpected. It's gonna be so weird... we're gonna be in a neighborhood... it's startling for me; I've lived up in the rich-retirement-horse property area (yes, I live on a horse property; no, I don't have a horse) for five years. There's no one my age around here, and my bus route only has like 10 kids. But now I'm moving down into the Ranchos... and our house is seriously about 100 feet from my school... and there's people my age there. And the houses aren't like 100 yards apart. Wow. Oh yeah. The reason I "gave up the will to live" yesterday, well. I didn't have any time to make a full post but last night... Sierra made me go on Neopets. Ew. It's disturbing what that place has become. The banner ads... they burn my eyes... What else... oh yeah, at my job, I found a co-worker who's a fellow Harry Potter nerd. It was cool. It's not every day you work with someone who reads fanfiction... o_o... so yeah. Work was fun. The two of us weren't even paying attention to the kids. Shiny fun.

Comments (2) | Permalink

Friday, August 4, 2006

A stale biscuit, a walnut, and a TV. Just another Friday night.

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Mood:

Comments (3) | Permalink

Thursday, August 3, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Mood: 'Nuff said. Somehow... my page views jumped by 30-something in the past 24 hours... yet only two of you commented on my rad new layout. But that's okay. Alana-chan and Kitty-san are my only friends now... the rest of you are dead to me. XD, I kid, I kid. But now I have 1000 page visits! Woo-hoo! So my last day of my college class was yesterday. My report on J-pop was my highest-rated piece ever. *bows* And my mom (she works at the college) found out that I was the top of my class. Um... I'm fourteen. I don't get it. I'm so glad the class is over, though... I get the last depressingly short 3 weeks of summer to myself. Well, I still have to work, but you get the gist of it. Death to academia. Anyone else watch America's Got Talent? I watched it last night, if only for Michelle L'amour, the stripper gal from Chicago. I... have no life. I also like the band At Last... did they make it to the finals? I wasn't paying attention. Okay. All my happiness ends here. This is where the depression begins. Because... my mom, well, you see, she... she got... SHE GOT THE RYUICHI SHIRT. THE WHITE, FLUFFY, POOFY, FRILLY RYUICHI SHIRT. (as seen on TV.) She got it. And I didn't. Of course she doesn't know why it's so awesomely amazingful (mind if I borrow your word, Ala?), but I refuse to talk to her ever again. Okay, I'm off to assume the fetal position, so I'm posting lyrics. Is anyone gonna read them? I hope so, because there'll be a pop quiz (that's not so pop anymore) on it. It's hard to wake up when the shades have been pulled shut This house is haunted, it's so pathetic, it makes no sense at all I'm ripe with things to say the words rot and fall away What stupid poem could fix this home? I'd read it every day So here's your holiday Hope you enjoy it this time, you gave it all away It was mine, so when you're dead and gone Will you remember this night twenty years now lost It's not right Their anger hurts my ears Been running strong for seven years Rather then fix the problems, they never solve them, it makes no sense at all I see them everyday We get along so why can't they? If this is what he wants, and it's what she wants, then why is there so much pain? So here's your holiday Hope you enjoy it this time, you gave it all away It was mine, so when you're dead and gone Will you remember this night twenty years now lost It's not right It's not right It's not right It's not right ~Blink 182, Stay Together for the Kids

Comments (3) | Permalink

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Mood: That goes out to a special someone, whom I hate. I finally have a rockin' layout... yay... *passes out* It took me like 4 hours to figure this out... HTML isn't quite my strong point, and CSS is even worse. But I'm pretty proud of this! There's only one little minor error, though... think I mighta screwed up on the margins or something, but I'll fix it later. Heh heh heh, it took me so long to discover the "overflow:auto" code... So what do you think of this layout? It's a little darker than anything else I've done, so... yeah. Any complaints? Suggestions? Marriage proposals? I had another funky dream last night. Gah, I'm getting so sick of dreams... the thing is, though, I don't ever have bad dreams about falling or searching for something or trying to escape or any of that. All my dreams seem to make sense. That's what's so frustrating about 'em. *looks at the clock* Holy crap, I gotta go... I had no idea I took so long on this dang thing... okay, see ya.

Comments (2) | Permalink

Tuesday, August 1, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Mood: I love the little tacos... I love them good... It's Kitsune's birthday today! WOOOOO! (Hey Kitsune, give me your e-mail address so I can send you humiliating e-cards.) By the way, Kitsune's the coolest person alive, so EVERYONE go visit her site! What else... oh yeah, my aunt's in a mental facility. Her cat didn't wake up from the anesthesia the vet gave her and it died, and my aunt went all suicidal. God, my family's dysfunctional...we've got a suicidal, a cutter, a kid with a lip piercing, a cop, and a mom who hasn't a clue what to do about it all. Things weren't like this until just this year... it's weird. I wanted things to change this year, and change they did. Okay, I think I'm done here. I gotta go... brush the dog. Yeah, brush the dog. Hey, I'm getting 5 bucks for it, so...

Comments (2) | Permalink