Monday, July 31, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Mood: Let's stab a man in Reno, just to watch him die... or maybe decapitate him... Today I woke up at noon, I kid you not. And I went to bed at 10. And oddly, I didn't have any problems getting to sleep. o_o... meaning half of my day off's already gone... I usually get up at nine and have the place to myself till four, but now I've just got 3 hours. I was hoping to watch Weiss Kreuz, but noooo... see, my parents hate anime, so I make it a habit to do all my anime-izing when they're not around. I saw my brother dearest yesterday. He started his job yesterday... he's working at the Zumiez (a skate shop chain) in Reno. He only does it because he gets discounted Atticus clothes. That's his brand... Atticus shirts and (far too tight) Krew pants are the only thing you'll ever see him wear. Oh, and Macbeth shoes. That sums up his wardrobe. Basically, if Tom Delonge wears it, he wears it. (Personally, my brand's Volcom, in case you're wondering. And Roxy can go to hell.) I read the last half of To Kill a Mockingbird yesterday... anyone else read it? It was good. The courtroom scene was fun to read, and Atticus (no realationship to the clothes brand) is cool. Hey, now that I think of it... the clothes brand Atticus is based on that book-- all the shirts feature a dead mockingbird on the front. It all makes sense. It also makes sense that Mockingbird is the only book my brother ever enjoyed. He even calls himself "Beau Radley" in parody to Boo Radley. Connections everywhere... my head hurts. Amazing, I woke up this morning with (allegedly) nothing to talk about, yet I can always squeeze out a looooong post. I'm cool like that. OH, I forgot lyrics! The ash set in then blew away It’s getting lost into the sea I grew so close to all the thoughts I had to leave forever I left the chill and voice of screams and kids and ran for shelter You know I won't say sorry You know I won't say sorry The pain has a bad reaction A blend of fear and passion You know what it's like to believe It makes me wanna scream I see a glow from far away A faint reflection on the sea I left some words quite far from here to be a short reminder I laid them out in stone in case they need to last forever You know I won't say sorry You know I won't say sorry The pain has a bad reaction A blend of fear and passion You know what it's like to believe It makes me wanna scream I see the stars, they’re in your eyes A playful kiss, can you tell I'm excited? A fast escape in the nick of time If you lost your wish, can I help you find it? I'm on my knee, just one to start A fresh new start, don't be undecided If love’s a word, that you say Then say it, I will listen

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Sunday, July 30, 2006

ghjnmgc uyfg ojgfhumn,vk vjjjjjjjjjjlh.

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Mood: ...except replace "Kumagoro" with "I". And "hates" with "hate", I suppose. Whatever. Grammar nazism. Yay. Look, do you really wanna know how I'm feeling today? Read the subject line. Spammy keyboard slapping= pissy (or maybe just PMS-y. Who knows. Someone make me a goddamn cupcake. *thinks* Yeah, that's PMS. XD!) Jesus, how long has it been since I updated? Sorry. My mom hates me, remember? I didn't do the laundry so she's all... roar... and I got grounded... Finished my report today. Well, I still gotta do the documentation tomorrow to make it seem like I actually researched. Reckon I should submit the report as an article? So yesterday I stayed the night at Natalie's, and her boyfriend was over until midnight... well, the only good thing that came out of that was we got to watch Walk the Line (I'd like to shoot SEVERAL people in Reno just to watch them die) and scream "This shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!" But on the other hand, I got to pretend I wasn't paying attention while Natalie and said boyfriend made out. Oh lucky lucky me. Then we were outside and I was staring off into space (as usual), and Natalie said, "what are you thinking about? A guy?" I shook my head and went, "Nah, a girl." She gave me this horrified look... I looked back at her... and then I started cracking up. (Of course, I was telling the truth all along, but she doesn't need to know that.) I just had a funny conversation with Sierra: Me: May I grasp your nittles? Sierra: Uh... will it hurt? XD. Her 8-year-old brother's convinced it's "Nipple Grasper" though. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, I shoved Gravitation down an 8-year-old's throat. I'm a bad person, bad influence, and so on. Yeah, yeah, sure. He thinks Mika's hot... o_o... well, at least he didn't say Ayaka. If that was the case, I'd have to shoot a boy in GARDNERVILLE just to watch him die. Lyrics time... 'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life Try to make ends meet You're a slave to money then you die I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet yeah, No change, I can change I can change, I can change But I'm here in my mold I am here in my mold But I'm a million different people from one day to the next I can't change my mold No, no, no, no, no Well I never pray But tonight I'm on my knees yeah I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now No change, I can change I can change, I can change But I'm here in my mold I am here in my mold And I'm a million different people from one day to the next I can't change my mold No, no, no, no, no I can't change I can't change 'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life Try to make ends meet Try to find some money then you die I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down You know the one that takes you to the places where all the things meet yeah You know I can change, I can change I can change, I can change But I'm here in my mold I am here in my mold And I'm a million different people from one day to the next I can't change my mold No, no, no, no, no I can't change my mold no, no, no, no, no, I can't change Can't change my body, no, no, no I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down Been down Ever been down Ever been down Ever been down Ever been down Have you ever been down?

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Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Four comments... meh, close enough. XD. I just wanted someone to read my last post because I posted it at like, 8, and MyO counts it as tomorrow at 9. Basically, I wasn't keeping track of the time (mainly because I had to retype the whole friggin' post). So yeah. It was a post I toiled over, and I wanted somebody to read it! So evidently, no one caught on to the little easter egg in my last post. Ah, a plague o' both your families... Hm. What's new...? Everyone keeping it shiny? Today I had a cup of hot chocolate. In the middle of July. In record-high temperatures (I take it back when I said it's not a desert here... but the freak flash flood the other day contradicts it). I was in the mood for chocolate, and alas, my parents make it a point never to supply me with anything remotely tasty. So I was browsing the cupboards and made me some hot chocolate. But you don't care much, do you? Maybe I'll go shopping with Natalie this afternoon... never is Wal-Mart funner than when you're with a cheerleader (How the heck we get along I'll never quite comprehend). But if I do it I'll regret it later. Should probably do some touch-ups on my research... nah. I wanna go to Wal-Mart, dammit! Yesterday I was looking for houses with my mom... that was... eh. Depressing as you'd expect. There's plenty of nice, cheap places for rent uptown, in the nice suburbs, but my mom... she says she wants a place where I'll still be zoned for the same school,where I'll be near my friends... which means our only reasonable option is the drug-infested, trashy Ranchos. It ticks me off that she's making so much of this depend on me. I don't really care... I'd just like to see her happy. Whether she stays with Jack, whether we move 600 miles away... I don't care. I've only gotta survive 3 more years. Then I'm outta here. They'll never see me again. Sounds like heaven.

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Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

I'm on strike. Let it be known that I refuse to post again until my last post gets at least 5 comments.

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Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

I'M TICKED! I was done with my post and then the window closed for some reason. GAH! Gotta type it all again! Took the brats to the pool today (they don't pay me enough for this... oh, right, they don't pay me). The fangirls are still calling me mistress, and all's fair in na no da land. 3 guys from my school asked me out throughout the day... I'm all, "Ummmm, no?" To hell with saving face and being diplomatic. They'd ask why, and I'd be like, "uhhhh... because?" Heh. I don't have much experience with this sort of thing. Plus, it's not like I coulda told them the real reason I turned them down. That'd be awkward. After all, the reason is... BOYS HAVE COOTIES! My, how my work has corrupted me. Y'know, with all the kids doing their "cooties" hooplah, it's no wonder so many of 'em turn out gay. XP But seriously, guys are... meh. They're awesome as friends, but somehow the only ones I find drool-worthy are the 2-dimensional, shiny-eyed, big-haired ones. Anime has spoiled me... there are no bishies in real life. Okay, I've made up my mind. From now on, I'm gay... AND A HALF. (the half being the aforementioned 2-dimensional, shiny-eyed, big-haired bishies.) Wow. That's one way to uncover your sexuality, ne? Is this conversation getting awkward yet? I'll change the subject. Let's talk about feelings! XD! But seriously, last night I was depressed again (hard to believe, I know-- me, depressed? Never!). But today I'm fine. Happy. Kinda floaty, actually. I know my emotions seem random and always changing, but the strange truth is my moods are dependent on one another. My depressive states are the ones where I think the most, and I figure a lot of stuff out, find the right words to describe everything. It sheds a new light on the world, and in this case, that light was positive. So I'm happy right now. I feel like there's something I need to say though... Ah, I guess it can wait. *Gasp* WHO WANTS PICTURES? I bring to you the virtual tour of Reno, Nevada. Scroll over these pictures for Ryu-chan's shiny (allbeit unnecessary) commentary. I tried to find a picture of Meadowood Mall, my little corner of the universe, but alas, Google has failed me. Oh well.

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Monday, July 24, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Yeeeeeah. Last night I watched the Miss Universe pageant. Such a guilty pleasure. XD... of course, I was totally backing Miss Japan (and no, not just because I'm a Japanophile- her evening gown was totally stunning)... I can't believe she got second though! To Puerto Rico! I mean, should Puerto Rico even be ALLOWED to participate? They're not a country! So in my mind, Japan won. So there. Plus, she won "best national costume" with a rockin' katana. I was also a big fan of Paraguay, Bolivia, and Mexico... I dunno. I guess I'm a sucker for a pretty Latina. ^^ Didn't love Miss USA, though. I don't know... I don't find much in blondes. It was kinda cool, though, that she said the most interesting place she'd ever been is Lake Tahoe which is... *looks out window* just over that mountain over yonder. Hm. What else...? Oh yeah. Last night I watched a special on TLC: "The World's Tallest People." It was thoroughly depressing. -_- why am I short? Why? I'm like... borderline dwarf... I hate my life....

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Sunday, July 23, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

The research project is going horribly. *sigh* I've only found two sites relevant to my topic. I probably shouldn't even be MyO-ing right now... I'm such a procrastinator. But who really cares? I have a knack for pulling things off last-minute. I work best under pressure anyway. ARGHHHH... my brother went to his Angels & Airwaves concert in Sacramento last night. I AM SO JEALOUS! But I can't tell him that... probably better that he doesn't know I stole his AVA CD. Best to act like I'm not a fan of the band. Heh heh heh... I just spent the past half hour on Engrish.com. It's the funniest site I've seen in a long, long time. You just gotta love the Japanese... at least they're trying, folks! Hm... asked and I shall answer... what kind of clothes did I get? Weeeeeeeeell... let's just say if I ever walk around downtown Reno at night soon, I'm likely to be mistaken for a prostitute. Ah, Nevada, I love you. Okay, okay, maybe it's not THAT edgy, but still. I've already decided things are gonna be different this year. I'm gonna have fun with it. Lots of fun. Yay. Well, I better get back to my danged research. *sigh* it's like walking straight into the gates of Hades. Can I take a nap...?

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Saturday, July 22, 2006

You may refer to me as Mistress Ryu.

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

HUGE thank-you goes to 5ilv3rF0x for fixing the background of a CSS flunkie. Thank you so much! :3 Why is my popularity rank unavailable? I know it doesn't matter, but my OCD is kicking in... as is my paranoia... as I said to Le-kun, maybe the gods of popularity finally went, "you know, it's not even worth it" and forgot about me. Yeah. That's it. XD Saw Wedding Crashers last night. I loved it. Why? Because there was a gay emo kid in it, duh. XD... it was hilarious... he jumped Vince Vaugh-something-or-other-how-the-hell-do-you-spell-his-name in the middle of the night. It gave me that fuzzy fangirlish feeling. XD Oh yeah. I have my own cult now. XD Seriously! Like half of those kids I work with worship me! I even got them to call me mistress. :3 Ah, life is sweet... Today I went shopping and bought, like, 300 bucks worth of clothes. For some reason, the only thing my mom will ever spend money on me for is clothes. o_O but I did get some pretty shiny stuff. Really went out on a limb with my wardrobe this time. Once school starts, I guarantee you everyone'll be like, "what... the... fuck?" Yeah. That drastic. Call me a teacher's pet; I dare you. :3 As I'm sure you've realized, I feel a lot better today... things are looking okay. ^^ So... yeah. No depressing rants this time around, but how does song lyrics sound? Sucker love is heaven sent. You pucker up, our passion's spent. My hearts a tart, your body's rent. My body's broken, yours is bent. Carve your name into my arm. Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed. Cuz there's nothing else to do, Every me and every you. Sucker love, a box I choose. No other box I choose to use. Another love I would abuse, No circumstances could excuse. In the shape of things to come. Too much poison come undone. Cause there's nothing else to do, Every me and every you. Every me and every you, Every Me... Sucker love is known to swing. Prone to cling and waste these things. Pucker up for heavens sake. There's never been so much at stake. I serve my head up on a plate. It's only comfort, calling late. Cause there's nothing else to do, Every me and every you. Every me and every you, Every Me... Every me and every you, Every Me... Like the naked leads the blind. I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind. Sucker love I always find, Someone to bruise and leave behind. All alone in space and time. There's nothing here but what here's mine. Something borrowed, something blue. Every me and every you. Every me and every you, Every Me... I like this song... it sounds really... sexy. :3 It's really really shiny.

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Thursday, July 20, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Chhyeah... Potter yaoi... XD Last night was... ugh. I felt absolutely horrible. One of those days that just makes you go, "what's the point? Why even bother? It's not worth it." I was totally dead... but then that night... I had three dreams. The first two were, well, just my waking thoughts and feelings manifested into a dream. All my fears, my worries, realized. But then the third came... and it was more than I could have hoped for. Such a great dream. Why is it you always seem to wake up right before the best part of a dream, though? Why is it always darkest just before dawn? But that dream... rather than becoming all my fears, it was everything I hoped for. Everything I fight for. Normally that kind of dream would depress me... would feel like being taunted, like getting up my hopes for nothing. But it was different this time. It was pure, diaphanous hope. An eye-opener for me. Every cloud has a silver lining. That dawn will always come no matter how dark it gets. Take nothing for granted, because nothing is eternal. Savor every moment, every high as though you never will again, but always, always hold the hope in your heart that there will be a tomorrow. Hope. That's what makes it worth it for me. Dreams have always meant a lot to me... the reason I can live each day is to find out whether each dream comes true, hoping that it does. I'll wish upon a star each night, wishing the same wish every single time, always wishing just a little bit harder than the last night. If I gave up... how would I ever know if that dream were to come true? As long as there's the slightest shard of hope, I will go on. And I'm lucky to say I have much more than a shard. I have friends and people who really, truly love me... they are my hope. "Strike me, spurn me, use me but as your spaniel..." I don't care what happens to me, as long as that hope is there. That may very well be the most vague post I've ever written. Do you agree? Well, I'm sorry if I confused you... these are the words I'm feeling, and it's been a while since I've been able to accurately attach words to my feelings. So... yeah. I think that's it... I might not post tomorrow. I've got to let this all soak in, you know? My emotions have been on a rampage... I need to just take some time off. So... I'll see you in a few.

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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Well, now. I currently have 911 visits. That certainly can't be a good sign. Especially with all that World War 3 crap going on. Anyone else under the impression that the world just might be coming to an end? Eh, I'd welcome an apocalypse right about now... it'd save me from having to think about all this stuff. Not to ever have to think about the future... that'd be nice. Yeah, I'm sorry for yesterday... it's just really hard for me. Everyone expects so much out of me, but I know I'll never measure up to their expecations. I'm fine with it; I don't want the life they want for me. But I don't want to disappoint them. Knowing that you've failed before it even happens... it's hard. Real hard. I want to tell my mom... I want to thank her for being there and wanting the best for me... but I also want to tell her that I'd rather follow my own path. Shit... I'm totally crying now.. It's funny. For the past two years, it's been the past that's tormented me. These days, it's the future. Ironic, since "live for the moment" has always been my mantra. Hm... what else... oh, right. So my birthday's in a couple months. My mom's hinted that she's already been shopping for me... but I've made up my mind. I really wouldn't like to get any gifts or anything this year. I mean, I'm not a kid anymore. I don't need my family to spend money to prove they love me. I just don't know how to tell her. We rented Wedding Crashers... my mom and I have an obsession with Owen Wilson now. Don't know when we're gonna get around to watching it. I have class tonight. Oh, my assignment for tonight is (begin sarcasm) SO HARD. I have to proofread my paper, and we all know I can't spell worth crap. It's gonna take hours... I hope that I spelled "antidisestablishmentarianism" right...XD Here's my top 10 life lessons I compiled last night in a stare-at-the-ceiling session of insomnia: 10. Diet coke is heaven-sent. 9. Every song on the radio seems to be about either love or sex. Funny, as the two are pretty much exact opposites. 8. Don't ever try to snort pepper. 7. 98% of the population responds to copy-and-paste chains. If you're one of the 2% that doesn't, copy and paste this into your post. (XD) 6. Contrary to popular belief, Nevada is not a desert. 5. My cat likes Doritos. 4. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ...Nick Danger. (The coolest Reno DJ ever... he killed himself. It sucked.) 3. KARMA DOESN'T HAVE AN H IN IT. 2. Microwaveable chimichangas taste absolutely nothing like real chimichangas. And number 1... 1. Nevada is NOT pronounced with the first "a" like in "ball". It's "a" like in "cat". If you walk into Reno and say the word "Nevaaaaahda" you WILL get beat up. Do you feel smarter? TIME FOR SONG LYRICS! I'm frightened at night and the wind has a roar It seeps through the hall and from under the door Like the shit that was said I can't take it that well I give and I give and I give and I give and I'm still Lost and hurt and bone thin from the love that's been starved I know it got close but I'm sure it's too far From the point of suspense, we know it should be The end of that part of our favorite movie When the guy grabs the girl and gives her his hand Says take me away from this torturous land Cause the grave is set up, the hole that I dug I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave you my trust Like the time that we kissed and you gave me a lie To add to the scene you pretended to cry But I'm here and I'm cool, the way that it is Just give me a chance and I'll try to forgive And I don't know And I can't guess If it's gonna be OK But now my last wish Is that you do this with me Kiss me here and hold my hand Let me feel like I'm the only one I know you can Won't you do it for me now I've really had it with the rain of the tears The predictable storm that has come every year And it sneaks in from shore with a bat in its hand I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying I can't You're a thief and a witch but I love you to death You steal my heart and curse under your breath But the one thing that I can most willing prove That when you are gone I'll be fine without you And I don't know And I can't guess If it's gonna be OK But now my last wish Is that you do this with me Kiss me here and hold my hand Let me feel like I'm the only one I know you can Won't you do it for me now? Now just hold on, hold on to me

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