myOtaku.com: PaganAngel

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1991-10-23
Gender
• Female
Location
• Gardnerville AND Reno, Nevada (yeah, both)
Member Since
• 2005-11-01
Occupation
• I'm currently a slave to like 3 different people. ^^ Me, a masochist? Never,
Real Name
• They tell me it's Bonnie, but I beg to differ. Everyone calls me by my last name anyway.

Personal

Achievements
• I got Alicia to admit Gackt was tasty. Yaaay.
Anime Fan Since
• I think Cardcaptors was the first series I saw, but the one that got me hooked was Digimon.
Favorite Anime
• Gravitation, Loveless, Chobits, Cardcaptor Sakura, Last Exile, .hack//sign and dusk, X, Azumanga Daioh, Angelic Layer, Weiss Kreuz, Legal Drug, DNAngel, Excel Saga, Fake, Pita-Ten... lately I like some stuff on the Saturday lineup thanks to Tonya.
Goals
• Crap, my deadline's tomorrow... *glares at Tonya*
Hobbies
• Sleeping, writing, sleeping, pretending to write while in truth playing minesweeper, staring at the ceiling with my iPod battery hazardously low, travelling, avoiding motivation.
Talents
• Corrupting the hell out of friends.

myOtaku.com: PaganAngel

Monday, February 13, 2006

*cough*bullshit*cough*

I got a letter back from Natalie (see post below)... and as I predicted, it was 112% grade-A bullshit. What'd I tell you? Here, I'll post the letter up here (of course, with spelling corrections to save you the same massive headache I had to endure).

WARNING! The following letter contains extreme instances of utter bullshit that may be hazardous to your health. If you are pregnant, prone to seizures or are on any other way physically handicapped, it is not recommended that you read this letter.

"Hey hun I'm so sorry that you feel this way. I thought we were best friends but if you've been wanting to say that for a long time I guess it was a lie. I'm sorry Bonnie. I know it's hard to be you but you're very special to me. You're my only true friend, other people are just not the same as what our frinedship has been. I still want to be you friend and..." blah, blah, she goes on to list all the countless memories we've shared, "...so anyway I almost cried when I read your letter and I felt really bad. I feel like you can tell me anything and I can tell you anything, Bonnie, I swear to god I don't care what anyone says, I love you and you are my bestest friend ever and I think we'll be friends for years. I want to be your friend forever but I want you to want that to. I will always be there. Love, Natalie."

Yeah. BULL. If I'm your only true friend, why did you hurt me? Why do you take advantage of me? Why is it that I've had more fulfilling and satisfying conversations with my wall? And when have you always been there? The past year I've been hurt more than most humans are capable of and where were you? What did you do to help me then? And since when have I told you everything? Since when have I told you anything? I haven't. You know nothing about me, don't pretend that you do.

So what should I do now? In a previous life, I would have taken "sorry" at face value and continued with my life. But not now. I don't want to forgive her. I know it's selfish but... I think I have the right to be selfish in this case. I want to show her just how much she's hurt me. I want her to know the true meaning of the word "sorry", the meaning I've come so acquainted to. I want her to feel regret. Is that wrong of me?

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