myOtaku.com: PaganAngel

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1991-10-23
Gender
• Female
Location
• Gardnerville AND Reno, Nevada (yeah, both)
Member Since
• 2005-11-01
Occupation
• I'm currently a slave to like 3 different people. ^^ Me, a masochist? Never,
Real Name
• They tell me it's Bonnie, but I beg to differ. Everyone calls me by my last name anyway.

Personal

Achievements
• I got Alicia to admit Gackt was tasty. Yaaay.
Anime Fan Since
• I think Cardcaptors was the first series I saw, but the one that got me hooked was Digimon.
Favorite Anime
• Gravitation, Loveless, Chobits, Cardcaptor Sakura, Last Exile, .hack//sign and dusk, X, Azumanga Daioh, Angelic Layer, Weiss Kreuz, Legal Drug, DNAngel, Excel Saga, Fake, Pita-Ten... lately I like some stuff on the Saturday lineup thanks to Tonya.
Goals
• Crap, my deadline's tomorrow... *glares at Tonya*
Hobbies
• Sleeping, writing, sleeping, pretending to write while in truth playing minesweeper, staring at the ceiling with my iPod battery hazardously low, travelling, avoiding motivation.
Talents
• Corrupting the hell out of friends.

myOtaku.com: PaganAngel

Friday, April 7, 2006

Rescue me...

I'm in Colorado now. Somebody get me out of here, please... god, I feel horrible right now. I can't stand spending time with my family. It's all so phony. I've always preferred being alone, in a way... but I made myself this way. I made it so that, while everyone else has silly childhood memories to reminisce about, my whole childhood has been all but erased...

I just feel awful right now. I'm so confused... nothing's making sense anymore. I don't know what I want anymore, or how I feel, or anything... and I'm rambling again. But bear with me; this site is the only place I get to vent. I just don't know what's going on with me anymore. When I'm around people, I want to be alone, and when I'm alone, I want somebody beside me. I hear a sad song on the radio, one that brings back memories, and I start crying, but I turn up the radio anyway. I find myself thinking in circles- every thing about me is contradictory. The things I want I'd rather not have, and the things I don't want I desperately need. There's questions all around that I keep asking but the answers are never the ones I want to hear.

It's freezing as hell in Colorado... makes Reno feel like a tropical paradise, and that's saying something. I don't like cold. At all. Plus we're staying in the middle of nowhere miles away from anything with no cell reception and I just want to go home and curl up in my nice, secluded bedroom... *sigh* it's so boring. I just want to go home... well, not really. I hate home. I hate my family. I just want to be somewhere alone.

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