Sunday, June 4, 2006

Today is brought to you by the word ursprache

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Honey, I'm home... and this time I didn't shrink the kids... yay, 90's pop culture reference right off the bat! So... yeah. As you prob'ly realized, I didn't make it even to the ESPN broadcast. I kind of went and flunked the written test they gave us because I was bored and didn't really feel like spelling sprachgefuhl... yes, I didn't get past the prelim-prelims because I chose not to. Ah, the way my mind works.... But it was a pretty fun week, I guess. Met a lot of cool people, one chick from New Zealand even... she has a rockin' accent. XD We did a lot of sightseeing which was kinda cool, I guess... but my mom dragged me into the national cathedral which really freaked me out (note the username). It was huge- second biggest in the country- and deathly quiet, all your footsteps echo on the stone like a drum... I felt so out of place and uncomfortable. I just wanted to get out of there... twas very creepy indeed. Okay, I knew I'd have to get here eventually and now I'm just thinking how to phrase it... I know I sound like I'm happy right now but... the truth is my family totally collapsed over the past week. The shaky relationship between my brother and my stepdad finally crumbled... well, it was more of an explosion than a crumble. My brother (16) moved out... now he's living with his friend until school's over, then he's gonna live with my dad. I would be alright if that was all but it's not. Now my mom and stepdad are seriously considering a divorce. Nothing like coming home to a bundle of family drama.... Crap. I don't want to go through this again... when my mom and dad split I just went with it. I was torn up inside but I never said anything... I was always the strong one. Always. The world was always in constant motion around me and I'd accept it no matter how it hurt me... but this is just too much. I never did anything wrong... why do they have to ruin my life yet again? I'm tired of being so impassive about it... I'm tired of it never being about me. About my best interests. But they all expect me to grin and bear it... I can't be the strongest when it's what everyone expects me to be. Just as I can't be the best when everyone expects me to be the best. I'm headed for a total meltdown... I really don't want to stay here cause my stepdad's a jerk, but I don't want to move out because living alone with my mom... as I'm sure you could figure, that wouldn't work out very pleasantly. I'll be ticking off the days until I'm 18 either way.... Oh yeah... my first venture into the eastern half of the U.S.: I've never believed Nevada was a desert until now. There is just so... much... green! I was shocked. And the humidity... when I got off the plane in Chicago the moisture in the air hit me like a brick wall. It was so weird! And Chicago is gigantic compared to what I'm used to. Even the airport was big.... So... much... walking... stupid O'Hare. >< And then Lake Michigan (I think) made Tahoe look like a puddle. Everything's bigger in Illinois... or was that Texas? XD But I think I could get used to it. Bigger is better na no da. Now, Washington... for our nation's capital, it wasn't entirely glorious. It was horribly dirty. There was lotsa hobos. And it smelled really bad... I did ride my first subway, though. ^^ And the town has over 60 Starbucks stores... heh. Coffee... my favorite vice. <3

Comments (2)