myOtaku.com: PaganAngel

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1991-10-23
Gender
• Female
Location
• Gardnerville AND Reno, Nevada (yeah, both)
Member Since
• 2005-11-01
Occupation
• I'm currently a slave to like 3 different people. ^^ Me, a masochist? Never,
Real Name
• They tell me it's Bonnie, but I beg to differ. Everyone calls me by my last name anyway.

Personal

Achievements
• I got Alicia to admit Gackt was tasty. Yaaay.
Anime Fan Since
• I think Cardcaptors was the first series I saw, but the one that got me hooked was Digimon.
Favorite Anime
• Gravitation, Loveless, Chobits, Cardcaptor Sakura, Last Exile, .hack//sign and dusk, X, Azumanga Daioh, Angelic Layer, Weiss Kreuz, Legal Drug, DNAngel, Excel Saga, Fake, Pita-Ten... lately I like some stuff on the Saturday lineup thanks to Tonya.
Goals
• Crap, my deadline's tomorrow... *glares at Tonya*
Hobbies
• Sleeping, writing, sleeping, pretending to write while in truth playing minesweeper, staring at the ceiling with my iPod battery hazardously low, travelling, avoiding motivation.
Talents
• Corrupting the hell out of friends.

myOtaku.com: PaganAngel

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Chhyeah... Potter yaoi... XD

Last night was... ugh. I felt absolutely horrible. One of those days that just makes you go, "what's the point? Why even bother? It's not worth it." I was totally dead... but then that night...

I had three dreams. The first two were, well, just my waking thoughts and feelings manifested into a dream. All my fears, my worries, realized. But then the third came... and it was more than I could have hoped for. Such a great dream. Why is it you always seem to wake up right before the best part of a dream, though? Why is it always darkest just before dawn? But that dream... rather than becoming all my fears, it was everything I hoped for. Everything I fight for. Normally that kind of dream would depress me... would feel like being taunted, like getting up my hopes for nothing. But it was different this time. It was pure, diaphanous hope. An eye-opener for me.

Every cloud has a silver lining. That dawn will always come no matter how dark it gets. Take nothing for granted, because nothing is eternal. Savor every moment, every high as though you never will again, but always, always hold the hope in your heart that there will be a tomorrow.

Hope. That's what makes it worth it for me. Dreams have always meant a lot to me... the reason I can live each day is to find out whether each dream comes true, hoping that it does. I'll wish upon a star each night, wishing the same wish every single time, always wishing just a little bit harder than the last night. If I gave up... how would I ever know if that dream were to come true? As long as there's the slightest shard of hope, I will go on. And I'm lucky to say I have much more than a shard. I have friends and people who really, truly love me... they are my hope. "Strike me, spurn me, use me but as your spaniel..." I don't care what happens to me, as long as that hope is there.

That may very well be the most vague post I've ever written. Do you agree? Well, I'm sorry if I confused you... these are the words I'm feeling, and it's been a while since I've been able to accurately attach words to my feelings. So... yeah. I think that's it...

I might not post tomorrow. I've got to let this all soak in, you know? My emotions have been on a rampage... I need to just take some time off. So... I'll see you in a few.

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