Monday, June 6, 2005

   Panda: The Self-Analysis Post

Thanks everyone, I feel so loved. ::huggles:: Despite what you guys said, I really truly am a very boring person. The best way I can describe myself is, dare I say it, nerd. After much thought while eating a bowl of Apple Jacks cereal I realized how "off the beaten path" I really am. Television, magazines and society as a whole has certain expectations of what makes someone "normal" or at least "a part of the crowd". Go outside of this box and you are "strange", "weird" or even worse -- Senor Cardgage (that's a Homestar Runner reference if you didn't know.). Take the following into consideration: - I am 29 years old, married for almost 10 years and don't have or want to have kids. - I love anime/manga and attending conventions. - I answer to the name Panda. - I am shaped like a panda. If you were to draw me you would only need circles (see dancing panda below). Pleasantly Plump Panda. - I wear glasses and have freckles. - I am only 5 feet 2 inches tall...er...short. - I can quote obscure Monty Python. Skits and movies. Don't make me prove it. - I absolutely love MST3K and have been to Hopkins, MN and got really giddy. - I spend hundreds of hours on the internet. - I have spent thousands of dollars supporting my anime habit. - The only vacations I take are to anime conventions. - My mind is filled with dozens of useless tidbits that will never help me....for instance: The Hula Burger was released in 1950 by McDonalds as a meatless burger substitute for Catholics to eat on Fridays. The Hula Burger consisted of a grill pineapple ring, american cheese on a bun. Needless to say it was a flop. Why do I know this? So I could share it with you peoples. Now you all know. And knowing is half the battle. - I quote literature, television and movies all the time. (see GI Joe reference at end of last entry) - I find pilots very sexy because I was influenced by anime as a child. No joke. - I have dressed up my dogs on Halloween to go trick or treating. For dog treats, not candy. - I spend too much time thinking about how others see me. - I worry about everything. I can't play first person shooters because my anxiety level gets too high and I feel sick. I don't want my character to die. - I love cheesy 80's hair bands. - I am disabled because I have 2 autoimmune diseases. - I make lists about my strange quarks. I could probably go on for days about all the weirdness I possess...but I am pretty sure you can see by my list that most of what is on there is not considered, I hate to say it, "cool". Why do we as people worry about what others think of us. Some people say they don't worry or care about what others think...but that means that they do at least think about what others think of them. We start to label people and put them into catagories, ourselves included. Most every town has at least one "crazy cat lady" or Senor Cardgage wandering around. Am I on my way to becoming that weirdo? When you become that person do you even know it? Even care? This makes me worry since if it is happening to me will I know it? I know from working at the vet clinic the "crazy cat people" would come in and smell like a litter box. I doubt they even knew they smelled that way since they are so use to it. When I would leave work and have to stop at the grocery store to pick up stuff I worried that I was the one that smelled like animals and didn't know it since I was so use to the smells at the vet clinic. Ya know what I mean? I am sure it happened so slowly for those weird people in society they didn't even know it was happening. And just where am I going with this? I don't know. I think I am just thinking out loud. I just want to ask you, where do you think you fall into society's view of normal? Do your hobbies and quarks make you a bit weird or are they 100% mainstream? What exactly do you think about yourself? Overall, I would have to say my view of my life is pretty meh. It has it's ups and downs but no matter what it is mine. And just for all of you I have put it on display here in my blog. You know, it's like a train wreck, you don't want to look but you just can't help watch the spectacle.

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Saturday, June 4, 2005

   ::insert witty comment here::

I know I haven't been by to update but I am at a total loss as to what to write about. I've been busy getting my mom to all of her doctor appointments as well as my own. Other than that I have been a pretty boring person. I know, I know, this is not a news flash. I am a very boring person. I spent yesterday trying to catch up with friends. Chatted with voice actor Dan Woren and Tom Bateman from Harmony Gold who are at A-Kon in Dallas, Tx. They are having a great time. So if you are in the Dallas area be sure to stop by and tell them Hi. ^_^ I guess that is about it. Take it easy and I will hopefully ::crosses fingers:: make the rounds to all your sites. Love you all very much! ^_^ ::huggles::

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Thursday, June 2, 2005

   What a nightmare!

I am finally back online. Had to go the entire holiday weekend without internet. I did use the computer at John's office for a couple of hours. When I went back the next day to try to log on the sites I had spent time on were blocked. Go figure. The corporate office monitors web traffic and it got pinged. Not a surprise but whatta pain! So I ended up crashing at my brother's house for a bit. He and John played some Halo and I waited for days while waiting for his dial up connection to load each page. I now have a high appreciation of my high speed internet connection. I haven't used dial up in years. When you are using it everyday your tolerance of the time it takes is much greater than that of someone who is spoiled by fast connection. I really do feel bad for you guys who are using dial up. May you all be blessed with high speed internet soon! You all know what my attitude is like, I can always find a silver lining. Because of my forced hiatus from the internet I actually had time to rest my sore joints. I noticed the time away from the computer did make me feel a bit better. On the plus side I did buy one of those swing benches so I spent a lot of time outside in the backyard on the new swing reading manga and enjoying the sunshine. It was good. ^_^ Well, I have a ton of stuff to catch up on. Hope everyone is doing well and life is good. I love you all and it's good to be back. ^_^ ::huggles::

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Saturday, May 28, 2005

   Aaaaargh!!!

On Friday the city was doing work on the water line and they dug up the cable for the fiber optic internet line. Since this is a holiday weekend no one can fix it until Tuesday at the earliest. So...needless to say I am not going to be online much at all this weekend until the cable is fixed. I am going to drive over to my hubby's office (which only has DIAL UP!)to check in as much as I can. Since this is his work I can't tie up the line for long. Bah. On the plus side I am feeling great and things are pretty good. Now if only my internet worked. Love you all and hope ::crosses fingers:: to be back soon.

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Thursday, May 26, 2005

   Um...yeah.

It's really strange. I have been really busy but really not much to chat about. I did catch up with a few friends from out of town, went out with Jen for lattes, lunch with my parents, clothes shopping and got wind of some bad news. The news is very sad. Voice actors Amanda Winn-Lee (Rei in Evangelion and Mimiru in .hack)and Jason Lee (Kusanagi in Blue Seed) recently found out that their baby, Nicholas, has Leukemia. Be sure to put them in your thoughts as he deals with chemo. On top of that Amanda is dealing with Fibromyalgia. For those of you who don't know Fibro is like arthritis and causes pain and fatigue. Dealing with her own health and the stress of her baby's health on top of that. Life isn't fair. I feel like I kinda know what she is feeling. My RA/Sjorgen's Syndrome and my mom's diagnosis of cancer has been really hard to deal with...I just feel awful this is happening to their family. Please put them in your prayers and thoughts. I'm having a flare up in my right wrist so I am cutting this short. I love you all and I hope you are all doing well. Hugs and kisses to each and every one of you.

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Monday, May 23, 2005

   It's been a great weekend.

I finally got my hair colored! I know I have been saying I need to get it done, well, I finally did. I went in on Friday afternoon to see my stylist and she's wanted to make my hair color really bold. I decided to let her do it. The color is a Red Violet and really bold. When I am in the sun it is really bright as you can see by the picture above. I also cut my hair too. I needed to get a hairstyle that would be easy to deal with with my RA. Needless to say I am happy with my new short hair and color. ^_^ John finally got a weekend off so we spent some quality time together. We went out late on Saturday night just for dessert and then stayed up til 3am singing karaoke songs. Good times. Sunday we just lounged around the house and hung out in the backyard throwning the tennis balls for the dogs to fetch. It was a wonderful sunny Sunday. It was a really great weekend. Now over on the OB there is a thread about the Full Metal Alchemist manga and I decided I would respond to it. After reading through the first posts I am pretty sure that everyone has only read the first manga. I ended up rambling a bit much in my post and peppered it with a bunch of spoiler tags. Oh well. I will check back on that thread in a few months when more of the translated manga comes out. When that happens I think the discussion will improve in that thread. Speaking of FMA I am going to post a picture of the girls with their pets instead of a bishie break. Mei Chen with Xiao Mei, Winry with Den and Riza with Black Hayate! I really want to cosplay Mei Chen. She is so flippin' cute! Plus I could walk around with a little panda plushie! I should really make a costume. Anywho, my question of the day is: Have you ever colored your hair? If so what color(s)? Are you willing to do it again? Needless to say I don't have to tell you that I have colored my hair. So far I have done burgundy and copper highlights as my first venture in to color. Now of course, you can see I have gone bold with red violet color. I really have fun with my hair. Since I can't really deal with waist lenght hair anymore I have opted to play with color. I think I will keep up with the color as long as my hair stays healthy. Well, I guess that is about it for now. I am really sleepy from staying up too late on Saturday. If there are typos in this update, sorry. :P I hope you all had a great weekend. I love you all and I will chat with you all soon! ::huggles::

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Friday, May 20, 2005

   Sukiyaki on the brain!

Now I am not talking about the food. I am referring to Kyu Sakamoto's song Sukiyaki. I believe it was the one and only Japanese song to hit number one in the US. It was at number 1 on the charts for 3 weeks back in the early 60's. It's one of those songs that the melody and singing is very light and catchy...but the lyrics are depressing. It's very sad, Kyu Sakamoto died in a plane crash (as all up and coming musicians do) so we will never know if he would've had more hits in the US. ;_; Why am I going on about this? Well you all have Kev (BankofKev) to thank for this. We were chatting on the phone the other night and somehow I got on the subject of Japanese singers and their success here in the States. Kyu is the only one I can think of. Can any of you think of any other Japanese musicians who have hit the #1 spot on the charts? Anywho, the song has been stuck in my brain for a couple of days so I need to get it out of my system. The best way for me to do that is to listen to the song. I decided I would share it with you guys. What I have listed are the Japanese lyrics, the translations for those lyrics and as an added bonus I put the lyrics for the remake of the song that came out in the mid-90's I think. I have to admit that I like both versions but I will always have a soft spot for Kyu's version since my mom would always sing along to it. Sukiyaki by Kyu Sakamoto ue o muite arukou namida ga kobore naiyouni omoidasu harunohi hitoribotchi no yoru ue o muite arukou nijinda hosi o kazoete omoidasu natsunohi hitoribotchi no yoru shiawase wa kumo no ueni shiawase wa sora no ueni ue o muite arukou namida ga kobore naiyouni nakinagara aruku hitoribotchi no yoru whistling omoidasu akinohi hitoribotchi no yoru kanashimi wa hosino kageni kanashimi wa tsukino kageni ue o muite arukou namida ga kobore naiyouni nakinagara aruku hitoribotchi no yoru (whistling) ----------------------- English Translation: I look up when I walk so the tears won't fall Remembering those happy spring days But tonight I'm all alone I look up when I walk, counting the stars with tearful eyes Remembering those happy summer days But tonight I'm all alone Happiness lies beyond the clouds Happiness lies above the sky I look up when I walk so the tears won't fall Though my heart is filled with sorrow For tonight I'm all alone whistling Remembering those happy autumn days But tonight I'm all alone Sadness hides in the shadow of the stars Sadness lurks in the shadow of the moon I look up when I walk so the tears won't fall Though my heart is filled with sorrow For tonight I'm all alone ________________ The English remake version by 4PM (same melody with the following lyrics) It's all because of you, I'm feeling sad and blue You went away, Now my life is just a rainy day and I love you so, How much you'll never know You've gone away and left me lonely. Untouchable memories Seem to keep haunting me Another love so true, That once turned all my gray skies blue But you disappeared, Now my eyes are filled with tears And I'm wishing you were here With me soaked with love all my thoughts of you Now that you're gone I just don't know what to do If only you were here, You'd wash away my tears The sun would shine, Once again you'll be mine all mine But in reality, you and I will never be cos You took your love away from me. Chorus Girl, I don't know what I did to make you leave me But what I do know is That since you've been gone there's such an emptiness inside, I'm wishing you to come back to me. If only you were here, You'd wash away my tears The sun would shine, Once again you'll be mine all mine But in reality, You and I will never be cos You took your love away from me. Oh -- Baby you took your love away from me. ________________ What a sad song...songs. You know what I mean. I hope all of you are doing well and have wonderful plans for the weekend which is just around the bend. I love you all and don't forget it! ::huggles::

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Wednesday, May 18, 2005

   Why me?!

Hi everyone. As you know things have been a bit of a crazy rollercoaster ride for me lately. Well from last night til just now I had no internet connection. Darn server was down. It's really kind of wacky since I feel like I am totally cut off from the world when I can't check my email! I am off to take care of some business online then hopefully I will have some spare time to visit your sites and catch up on PMs. I know I haven't been around and I appreciate all of you who have stuck with me though this insanity that I have been dealing with lately. I love you all. ::huggles::

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Saturday, May 14, 2005

   I'm so tired!!

Sorry I haven't been around much as of late. Things have been a bit crazy for me as of late. I am so far behind that even my pets are late on their vaccinations! I am a bad mom. I did manage to pick up the vaccinations but I still haven't gotten around to giving them yet. Thank goodness I can do all this myself and not have to drag the "herd" down to the vet clinic! I knew all that vet med education would come in handy one day! LOL I know, vaccinate the pets...I'll get to it after this. I love you all and I don't want you guys to think I have fallen off the face of the planet. I am just trying to get my duck...er...pandas in a row. Once I do I should be back on the site in full force soon. Sorry Adam, I know I have been letting you down. :_: I promise to get it together! I sound like Osaka! Talking about getting it together, I need to get back to catching up on all the stuff I have been falling behind on. I love you all and even though I am not leaving comments everyday on your sites know that I am thinking of you. ::huggles::

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005

   Be back soon.

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