Saturday, October 8, 2005

   Introspective Retrospective

Thanks for letting me vent. Yesterdays post was just a bit of self-analysis I needed to vent about. No worries ok, I just need to put it out there. I know there is always going to be terrible things that go along with all the wonderful. For instance: Good vs. Bad things in life -Friends on the Internet. The great thing is you can have a huge pool of friends from all over the world. People you would probably never get the privilege of ever meeting otherwise. They are just a few key strokes away. The bad, they in reality are hundreds of miles away. If you were all closer I could give you each a huge bear hug. We could eat olive loaf til we puke. We could all get together and watch hours of anime and play video games until we pass out! I know it's a trade off. I would rather know you only through the internet than not at all. Someday we will meet in person, I'll bring the olive loaf. -Quitting my career because of RA. Obviously the bad is no longer being able to work in the career I studied for, worked hard for and loved so much. I wouldn't give up that life experience for anything. I loved helping the animals and making their lives better. It was very fulfilling and rewarding. I miss it very much. Now the silver lining. If it were not for this change I wouldn't have tried my hand at writing. I would have missed out on all the great friends I have made while doing interviews. I really do have a great time meeting people in the anime industry and I would have missed out on this experience if I were still working in vet med. Speaking of which ADV just today asked me to become one of their screeners. This definitely would have been something I missed out on if I were still working my 15 hour days at the vet clinic! -RA itself. Rheumatoid Arthritis. Bad, bad, bad. It totally sucks. I think you guys already know why it is bad...painful disfiguring evil disease that makes me take nasty drugs that cost an arm and leg. meh RA, meh! What is so good about it? It has really changed the way I look at life. I use to take lots of things for granted. Things like holding dishes. Just the other day I had a dish slip out of my fingers and crash down on top of some other ones...they all broke and a couple of bowls are chipped. Just call me Destructo Bear! Being able to turn a door knob, pour some milk from a gallon jug, comb my hair...things that normally you don't even think twice about are a major accomplishment for me. I don't take the little things for granted. Being able to write this update is wonderful. Somedays I can't move my fingers because they are sore and swollen...today is a good day. -Having a dog with really bad gas. Stinky, nasty, something crawled up there and died gas. What could possibly be good about this you ask? Taking that Gas-o-Matic dog to the vet clinic were your best friend is employed for an exam. Then having him pass the largest cloud of gas ever in the front lobby just as a client walks in and everyone else runs away (including you and Sir Farts-o-Lot out the back door). Thus leaving forementioned best friend alone in a stinky cloud of gas to explain to the client that it wasn't her. The good part, well besides embarrassing your best friend, would be that she is still your best friend. You guys get the idea, with everything in life there is something good that comes along with the bad. We just need to take it all in stride. Some bads are worse than others...but don't forget all the good that comes with no strings attached. Where am I going with this? I don't know I think I am just rambling right now. Wait! I know where I am going with this! Coffee fixes all things wrong in this world. Jen (the victim of the dog gassing) and I went out for coffee, we had these Iced Toffee Mochas and they were devine. Yeah, coffee is the remedy to all of evils in this world. Drink more coffee, be happy. If you don't drink the coffee, no worries, I will drink your quota. Coffee + Panda = Joy. Comments on Comments hEvN: I hear ya. I am sure you feel the same way i do, when I make someone else happy it makes me very happy. It is very emotionally fulfilling to me to put a smile on someone's face. ::huggles:: TheMouse: Have I told you lately that I love you. Well I do. You are really a great friend and most everything we chatted about on the phone. I guess I just need to get it together. ~_^ blackwings: We are all in the same "no direction" boat...we shall call it a pleasure cruise and enjoy the ride! All the way through high school and even part of college I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, what career path to take. I finally decide and my health tells me otherwise. Hey, when life throws you pies make pie-monade. Just keep on a truckin'. As for volunteering the only animal shelter in my area is a "Doggie Death Row". When I was working at the vet clinic it was the responsibility of my boss to take care of euthanasia when the person in charge of the shelter was gone. Several times he had to put 20+ animals in a sitting to sleep. Emotionally I don't even like going out to the shelter since it is just too hard to see all of them there. Knowing if they don't get adopted they are not long for this world. It's far to heart breaking. If a no-kill shelter opened up, I would be first on the volunteer list. ^_^ error: True, true. Spending too much time worrying about what to do is time that could have been spent doing something else...something productive. I just needed to have that self-exploration time yesterday and today I feel fine. Just going to be me. dposse: Before I forget, the other day I was not making fun of your name, I was trying to be witty and funny with everyone's names. I am sorry if I offended you. Gomen ne! Whether life is good or bad we should just keep on a-goin'. I know the good times are easier to take and we just need to see the bad ones as, dare I say it, character builders! celestialcharm: I love you too! ::huggles:: Being optimistic is very important to a positive out look on life. At times it is very VERY difficult but there is always a silver lining. Sometimes it is hard to see, but in time you can find the hidden good in every situation. I know I can.

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