Thursday, March 1, 2007

   Say You Love Me...
Current Mood: Self-consious
Current Song: The Deeper Vileness by Dir en grey

Okay, I found the Dir en grey Fuse interview for all of you poor saps who missed it. They're divided into two different parts, and I haven't watched them, so I'm sorry if you have to suffer through all of the sucky American bands. :/ But then again, you can always skip it. I, was not lucky enough to do that. -_-

Part 1
Part 2

Yes, you love me. Say it. ^_~V

Last night was alright. I went to eat with my grandparent's for my grandpa's birthday and I had some mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese. I had some broccoli too, but I was so full that I couldn't eat any. D: When we got home I worked on my Elizabeth Taylor picture and finally finished it. But.... I had a REALLY weird dream. I dreamt that Hannibal Lector (except, he wasn't Hannibal Lector. He was some really hot guy. And he didn't eat people, he was vampiric o_O) raped Sarah Michelle Gellar (except she was just some normal girl that looked like Sarah Michelle Gellar o_O) and started sucking her blood. Finally, she got hold of a taser and pointed at him and he started leaving. Then she tasered herself in the temple and he left. o_o It was really fucking weird, but for some reason it was really, really hot. @_@ I think there's something wrong with me.


I guess it doesn't help that I'm in love with Kyo, the king of all odd fetishes. o_o

Today wasn't all that great. I mean, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't good. ._. Okay, it first happened in Orchestra. I had already felt kinda self-consious because my shirt was a little tighter than normal. But the girl beside me had the nerve to ask "what size pants do you wear?" I kinda gritted my teeth and said "14." I'm not proud of it, and hearing it out loud makes me want to die. I know I like to wear my pants baggy, but it's still embarassing. She said "oh! I have some size 14 pants from when I was... y'know, big too." I sorta clenched my teeth and smiled. I already fucking know I'm fat. I don't need some bitch reminding me how much it hurts. I almost started crying. I'm so self-consious and I've hated my body ever since I was little. And it didn't help that last night my grandma seemed estatic at how much weight I lost. Because of that one little remark, I remembered all of the little things people said to me when I was younger. It's harder losing weight for me than other people because I've been this way every since I was little, I have a bigger bone structure than most women (I can barely wear some jackets because the shoulders are so small), and I finished puberty when I was in the 5th grade. I'm not trying to make excuses for myself, my body just pisses me off. I decided that I need to spend less time on the computer and more time exercising, because obviously, the weight isn't coming off fast enough. In Art I was emotionally and physically tired. I didn't wanna do anything. But I had to get up and turn in my Elizabeth Taylor picture and a picture where we filled in some empty spaces. Afterwards, I got my picture of Kyo and a piece of construction paper and gridded them both out. I started on Kyo's hair and I was so paranoid that I'm gonna fuck it up. -_- I'm a perfectionist when it comes to whatever I do, and it's gonna be 1000x worse since I'm drawing Kyo. *sighs* At lunch Stacie bought me carrots again and one of the guys that sits in our circle gave me a thing of string cheese. :D I had to wrestle it away from Stacie, but it was worth it. >3 In Science we watched a video on earthquakes. Damn, it made me so paranoid. Now I'm afraid that an earthquake is going to hit here (despite the fact that I live in North Carolina) and my dog is going to die. T~T Not only that, but I'm afraid that a major earthquake is going to hit Japan. o_o I'm determined to write a fanletter to DIRU telling them that I have an earthquake shelter... I'll stash it with Gundam DVDs, instruments, videos games, manga, dog toys, and scorpions to keep them busy. @_@ My teacher also checked if they had a Japanese foreign language for next year, like they said they would. And, of course, because I want it, they don't. -_- So I'm going to talk to the guidance councelor and ask them about it and see if I can take a Japanese course online or at a local school and get credit for it. Because I want to take Japanese classes more than anything. I've been looking forward to it since the end of 8th grade, when they promised it. If I can't take any, I'll just take German. *sighs* In English we went to the library to work on this archetypes worksheet and I got to work with Nhi as a partner!!! ^o^ She's really sweet and cool, I liked working with her. I also learned that she's not Chinese, she's Vietnamese. -3- I felt so bad... she said she like Chinese music, so I immediately assumed she was Chinese. *bangs head against desk* But she was amazed that I knew Japanese and that I knew kanji. She was like "YOU CAN READ CHARACTERS?!" XDDD It was cool to get to know her better. Whenever I got home I ate a quesodilla and did my homework (starting at 3:30) and finished at 5. o_o Meh. Then I exercised until I was gasping for air and thought I was going to fall down. Now I'm here. Yay!


Hurry, DIRU! Into my basement!!! And make those Kyo bring those pants!!! >D

Ugh, I need to take a shower. I feel icky. -_- Mata ne!
+Momo+
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Wednesday, February 28, 2007

   Vagina blood.... it's good for the soul! ^_~V
Current Mood: Happy and crampy
Current Song: Clever Sleazoid by Dir en grey

OMFG~!!! *bounces* I was so happy last night, you guys should've seen me!!! ^o^ Last night Fuse had Dir en grey on "Steven's Untitled Rock Show." Whenever Kaoru and Toshiya appeared on the set, I squeed so loud that my dad had to cover his ears. XD I was kinda dissapointed that the whole band wasn't there, but I didn't really expect them to. Kyo and Shinya probably would rather swallow some spikes than talk on American television. :/ Logan kept on making fun of me for being a dork and screaming "LEADER-SAMA!!!" and swooning over how angelic Toshiya looked and how soft his voice was. XD; They also played the PV for "Clever Sleazoid"!!!! :D I started singing along with it and expected "doing meaningless shit over and over" and "one day I'll fuck your parents" to be bleeped out, but Kyo's Engrish is so awesome that they didn't. ^-^ I started clapping and giggling whenever I heard it. XD And Kaoru-sama is proud of us!!! Steven asked them how the fans got into J-rock and they thought really hard before Kaoru laughed and said "I don't know. I'd like to!" XD I was so proud of myself. X3; The only problem was that Dad kept on making fun of the way Kaoru talks (y'know, how he'll pause for a moment, mumbles, and kinda briskly draws in air between his teeth), calling Dir en grey "Dirty grey" (he knows their real name, he just likes teasing me @_@) and asking "why won't he let that other bastard talk?" -_- I just said "Dad, that's Toshiya. No one really talks in interviews except for Kaoru." It still made my day. ^-^


Yay for sexy Toshiya-sama...


...and for dorky leader-sama!!! :D

This morning I started my period. *sighs* It mucho sucks. I get the worst fucking cramps during my period. -_- In Orchestra I was sooooooo angry. We changed seats and I had to sit to two people that I really don't like all that well. Plus, my nose kept on running and we didn't have any tissue. I went to go get the key so I could go to the bathroom but I couldn't find it anywhere. Mrs. Ross finally got it and I got up to use the bathroom after but she screamed at me "no! This is viola time, sit down." She then snapped her finger and pointed at the chair, like I was a dog. I was so pissed off, I just sat down and dug in harder on my strings and played louder, kinda taking it out on my viola. She pisses me off so badly, I just want her to leave me alone. -_-' Before Art, I saw Nicole and said "OMFG... I think Dir en grey popped my cherry." She just kinda looked at me like "o_O" and said "Becky..." I then grabbed onto her shirt and said "I'm serious! It might be my period, but I think that they did..." She then ran away. XD My poor friends. In class I finished up my self-portrait (ugh) and worked on a picture of some celebrity we have to do. In lunch I talked to my friends like normal except that Nicole kept on trying to step on Matt's nuts so he leaned against me to try to get away from her. XD And I got $5 from Anthony!!!! :D I was begging for some spare change (what? I need money for the DIRU issue of Revolver... BTW, does anyone know how much Revolver costs? @_@) and he gave me $5!!! \^o^/ Yatta!!! I hugged him and jumped up and down and made the mistake of saying "me love you long time" and he tried to drag me to the bathroom. XDDD In Science we watched this really boring film on earthquakes and Olivia kept on reading from my Japanese book and I corrected her. It was really hard to understand her when she had the wrong pronounciation and wasn't using a Japanese accent, though. @_@ In English we discussed archetypes and our next course. So yay~! It was a lot of note taking... at least it was interesting. ^-^

I'm supposed to be finishing a picture for Art that's due tommorow right now... but I love you guys and DIRU more. *nods* I have to go to my grandpa's birthday party in about 45 minutes, so I guess I better get off and get some tylenol for my tummy. -3- Mata ne~!!!
+Momo+
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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

   I can't coexist....
Current Mood: Bored
Current Song: DISABLED COMPLEXES by Dir en grey

Today I put on so much mascara that it looked like I had like 8 eyelashes on my top eyelid. o_o Scary. I used some type of extra-lengthening mascara that you had to put two coats on. One is white, and it reminds me of Kyo's makeup in "Clever Sleazoid." I was actually thinking of just keeping the white on. XD Before school started there were some pepole protesting against this guy named Kevin for being suspended (he was carrying a knife, he needed to suspended *rolls eyes*). One person was holding a sign that said "W.W.K.D.?-What would Kevin Do?" I couldn't help but think of what I say in doubt-"What would Kaoru Do?" XDDD; Anyhow, in Orchestra we were bitched at again. Nothing more than normal, though. I was a little pissed off because she held us longer than I thought she would, though. :/ Oh, well. In Art we had to draw a self portrait of ourselves. >_< She gave us a mirror and we were supposed to draw ourselves. I HATED IT. I hate looking in the mirror, and too see myself for a long time really pisses me off. Whenever I finished drawing myself, I was so unsatisfied with it. The person beside me said it was good and looked like me, but that's not really a compliment when you say someone looks like me. @_@ During lunch Stacie bought me a bowl of carrots and a cookie. I was so happy and I started jumping up and down. XD I did feel a little sick after eating the whole cookie, though. -_- In Science we talked about earthquakes and I kept on wanting to scream out that Japan had more earthquakes than California (since my teacher kept on talking about California). He didn't even mention the Kobe earthquake. D: I even created an eBay wish list because I was so bored. XD In English we had to create a collage of a topic we drew from something we studied this semester. I created the topic "beauty can come from the most unexpected of things" from "Edward Scissorhands." :3 I basically made a whole big collage of people in Hollywood that have been perceived as scary or perverse, etc. Unfortunately, they didn't have any pictures of Marilyn Manson. >_< I can't really blame them, though, because he's not really *ahem* appropriate for school. Anyway, when I got home, I did my homework for science and finished up my collage while listening to a little bit of "THE MARROW OF A BONE." >3 I had to make a few paper cranes before my brother finally got off the computer, though. -_-


Kyo and his crazyass eyelashes... XD

I need more Japanese help! What does "komiageru" mean and does "tobira" mean "door"? Thanks for any help in advance. :3

Apparently, there's been a problem with the printing of the lyric book for the American version of "THE MARROW OF A BONE." I thought DIRU intentionally made it too dark to read, but I guess not. There's more information on Warcon.com. Yay for new lyric books!!! \^o^/

Also, in DIRU news, Dir en grey is gonna be on FUSE's "Steven's Untitled Rock Show" tonight at 7 p.m. (eastern time)!!!! >w< Nyappy Momo deeeeeeeeeeeesu~!!! *bounces up and down* They better fucking be on there or I'm gonna have to kick some ass. *cracks knuckles*

Okay, I guess I better get some shit I'm looking for. Mata ne~!
+Momo+
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Monday, February 26, 2007

   Itai... -3-
Current Mood: Headachey ;o;
Current Song: Ryoujoku no Ame by Dir en grey

Click here to learn about Scorpios.
Hm. I thought this was interesting, but made me seem like a bitch in a few places. It was mostly true, though.

So, yesterday was DIRU's last day in America. I'm really glad that they came to America, but I'm also glad that they get to go home. ^-^ Poor Kyo, Kaoru, and Shinya had to spend their birthdays in America!!!! ;o; And supposedly our Kyo-kun gets homesick after a little while out of Japan. Hopefully he's not feeling as bad as he used to on American and European tours. And they're going to be in Japan in April, Kyo's favorite month, when the sakura bloom. ^-^ That made me really happy... I'm such a dork. XD And I also figured out that they're going to be on tour in Europe in like 3 different festivals... as soon as I find out the dates, I'll tell you guys.


Bon voyage, loves! ^o^

I also found out that Kyo's allergic to flower pollen (awwww, poor baby... but so cute >w<) and he gave up on quitting smoking. T~T I figured he had, but luckily, he's not smoking as much. His girlfriend (assuming he has one-and he better) or Shinya need to steal his cigarettes (and the rest of DIRU's, for that matter), and flush them down the toilet. I don't want any cancer for my precious DIRU. ;o;


*eye twitches* Dammit... why do you have to be so hot, even with a cancer stick in your mouth??? >_<

I don't really feel like talking about my day. It was just the same as all the others. And I have a headache.

I don't really know why I even updated. I guess just to say hi to you guys. Mata ne...
+Momo+
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Saturday, February 24, 2007

   Fall out of line, you cockroach!!!!!
Current Mood: Bored
Current Song: Clever Sleazoid by Dir en grey

DIRU in California

Happy birthday to our dear little drummer, Shinya-sama~!!! \^o^/ *throws confetti in the air* Shinya is 29 today... he so young! DIRU's dear little baby of the group. >w< *hugs him* So, everyone wish him a happy birthday and many more to come~!!!


Shinya was such a ghetto baby!!! XD

The reason I didn't post yesterday and I commented today (I haven't been able to get to some posts, I'm sorry D:) is because MyO has been a complete retard on my computer. -__- Whenever I tried to get on yesterday, my internet connection said "www.myotaku.com cannot be found." However, I was able to get on other websites like on LiveJournal and stuff. o_O Thank God I can get on now. I never realized how much I loved posting on here and talking to you guys... some of my best friends are on here. ^-^

Last night I watched "SLC Punk!" and "Jet Li's Fearless." I've watched part of "SLC Punk!" before, but it was on TV. I was so happy that I was finally able to watch all of it and unedited. It's a great movie, and you don't have to be a "punk" to appreciate it. It's more about growing up and how everything you used to know can become so foreign to you. It reminded me so much of how I was in 7th grade... I used to be so consearned on whether or not I was a "poser." Now I don't have a label and I could really give a fuck what people think of me and I'm the happiest I've ever been. "Fearless" was pretty good, but wasn't as good as I expected it to be. The costume design was beautiful, the choreography was awesome (the same people did "The Matrix"), and the background was gorgeous. The only problem was that my brother hates watching movies that aren't in English and made us watch the voice-over version. *twitches* I FUCKING HATE VOICE OVERS. Being able to hear the native language is one of the things I love the most about foreign movies, and English voice overs just strip that away. *grrrr*

Today has been extrememly boring. I woke up and studied some Japanese, then took a shower, then listened to some DIRU. After that we went to eat lunch at Sonic and sat outside in cold weather with the wind blowing when I had wet hair. *winces* After that we went to Blockbuster and my parents got "Flags of Our Fathers." Afterwards, we went home, and here I am. o_o Yeah, I had an exciting day. *rolls eyes* I feel bad for not doing anything for Shinya-chan's birthday except for look for some pictures of him and listening to some songs where he has awesome drumwork. :3


Damn, that boy is prettier than Audrey Hepburn!!! XD

Well, that's about it. I love you guys, and I'll talk to you guys later. Mata ne~!
+Momo+
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Thursday, February 22, 2007

   Headless Body
Current Mood: Kinda bored
Current Song: GRIEF by Dir en grey

Man, am I lucky. Whenever I showed my parents my progress report for Orchestra, they didn't flip out. Dad said he didn't really care because it wasn't a critical class. Thank God. *clings internet connection and "THE MARROW OF A BONE"* Then that luck went away whenever my hairbrush with super sharp bristles stabbed me under the thumb nail and started to bleed. @_@ Oh, well.

Today has been boooooooooooring. Whenever I went to Orchestra, I immediately had a bad feeling. Our first teacher (the nice teacher) was pretty descent to us and said that we were playing better, but then he started yelling at the 1st Violins. @_@ Then our mean teacher bitched at us harder than ever. She pointed out every single mistake, made us stop after just playing 3 notes if she wasn't satisfied, etc. I'm sick of listening to her bitch and moan. She's just going to have to accept the fact that not all of us have been playing since the age of 4. -_- In Art we drew realistic eyes, mouths, and noses because we're going to draw a real life picture soon-and we get to choose who we want to draw!!! \^o^/ So I'm going to have to find a good, kinda simple picture of Kyo-kun to draw. I wanna draw him in his "Kisou" outfit, but his makeup and outfit are so damn complicated. @_@ So I think I'm gonna use one where he doesn't have any makeup on, brown hair, a striped shirt, and is resting his cheek in his hand. *sighs* So beautiful. ^-^ Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, since I have way too many pictures for my own good. @_@ Whenever we were drawing, our class decided to turn on the radio, so it gave me the perfect oppurtunity to listen to DIRU! ^o^ I wanted to listen to "THE MARROW OF A BONE", but Mom hasn't uploaded it onto my iPod yet. And I have to burn the CD for Storm, too. -_- During lunch showed me where I bit her yesterday... and she had a small little circle-shaped bruise that was purple. o_o I didn't mean to bite her that hard... and she was wearing a jacket whenever she did it! @_@ I feel really bad now. In Science we had to take a quiz, but it was open-book and relatively easy. After I was done I drew come chibi of me hugging and kissing Kyo and him screaming "yameroyo!!!" ("stop it!!!"). He has kisses all over his face and is blushing.... it's so adorable. >w< I even drew his little pube-beard. XDDD Whenever I was drawing it I suddenly wondered... "if it looks like pubes, does it feel like pubes?" XD Dammit, now I wanna touch Kyo's beard!!! @//@ I'm such a dork. In English we read the lyrics to a song called "Little Boxes" and listened to it. I hated the actually song, but I like the lyrics. It conveys a strong message. *nods* We had a discussion on it and I wanted to laugh out loud because most of my AG class is filled with your stereotypical, Christian, gossiping schoolgirls. It was so funny to listen to the talk about people and how they discriminate when they were really talking about themselves. Also, I was a little angry that my teacher made them dig so deeply into the song and tear apart its meaning to analyze it. I hate whenever people do that. They just think too hard whenever the author initially wasn't meant to convey that emotion. As a lyricist, I'm able to know what I want to say in a vague manner. I'm a little Kyo. XD;


Here's the picture I was thinking of drawing.... *dokidoki* Isn't he beautiful? *sparkly eyes*


Or maybe I should draw this one. XD

Neee, Shiko-chan! Is this what Yumi and you saw yesterday?


o_o Damn... I have to go change my panties now. XDDD;

I suddenly want to watch tons of DIRU PVs. o_O That's not all that suprising, though. XD And I guess I better go print out the Kyo picture I'm gonna draw. ^3^ Love you guys~! Mata ne!!!
+Momo+
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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

   I'm Tainted...
Current Mood: Sleepy/Content
Current Song: The Fatal Believer by Dir en grey

DIRU in Arizona

Just in case you guys didn't read the edit of my post yesterday, I did eventually get "THE MARROW OF A BONE." In case your Hot Topic is a buttfuck and doesn't carry CDs like mine is, then please, check Best Buy. They're my new home now. ^-^

Today was... odd. Whenever I got to school, I saw Nicole and Devon and proudly thrust my chest out to show my DIRU shirt. Nicole kept on poking my boobs but I didn't care because I knew it was because she just wanted a piece of the greatness of DIRU. XD In Orchestra my DIRU fandom just suddenly depleted. o_o It was super weird. I don't know why the hell it did... maybe it was because our orchestra teachers were working us to the bone and I was already tired so I just didn't have the energy to jump up and down and squeal. It was like erectile disfunction. X_X In Art we tidied up our drawings we finished and it gave me some time to work on homework I didn't finish last night. Also, I had my notebook with some "Kisou" lyrics in it, so I listened to a couple of songs and mouthed the words. The only problem was that the chick next to me wanted me to sing two lines of "-kigan-" whenever I was looking at the lyrics. -_- She keeps on fucking interrupting me whenever I'm listening to my Dir en grey... and everyone knows that if you want to continue living without the aid of a machine, you will fucking leave me alone when I'm listening to my music. The only exception is if you're my friend, there's an emergency (and I'll probably still be grumpy), or if DIRU is in the hallway. *hmph* Lunch was weird. Okay, it started out as normal. Nicole begged me to get food with her, but I said no and started eating. Not even after I was half-way through, Stacie wanted me to come to the bathroom with her. I told her to go by herself (I hate going to the bathroom with people... bathroom time is alone time) but she begged me for 10 straight minutes before I finally gave in. I don't remember what I or she said, but she tried to flick me in the head but I turned and she got me in the eye. Not on the eyelid-on the actually eyeball. It hurt so bad, I got dizzy and the pain was throbbing for a long time. Luckily, it didn't appear to hurt my eyesight. Stacie said she was really sorry, though, so that kinda made me feel better. But, whenever I went to go put up my lunchbox, I said that I had a headache on only the region of my head where my eye was. So, Nicole thought it would be a fucking bright idea to hit in the back of the head to even it out. I hit her and she hit me AGAIN on the head. That really pissed me off. I sat back down and I called her a bitch and she hit me. So I hit her back and she started hitting me over and over again. I don't know what it was... maybe it was the fact that I hurt all over my body... maybe I just had a breakdown. Maybe I had had enough of all the shit my friends put me through. But I started crying. I couldn't control it, tears just started streaming down my face. I don't know what the hell happened. I think my brain just had an overload or something. But everyone was freaking out and trying to cheer me up. Korki kept on flashing my Kyo picture at me trying to cheer me up... then everyone kept on saying "think of Kyo! He's naked lying on your bed!!!" I just started laughing with tears slipping down my face... I was so freaked out, I didn't know what to do. So I'm sort of suspicious that I may be bipolar. I don't know any of the symptoms of bipolarity, except for the fact that they have serious mood swings. Maybe I'm just fucked right now. But I want it to stop. In Science I finally was able to not want to cry anymore. I think I was too bored. XD I mostly just took notes and while letting my thoughts wander and messing around with one of my peeling nails. @_@ In English we turned in an assload of stuff and talked about "Edward Scissorhands." It added a whole lot of depth to the film and helped me understand it a whole lot better. ^-^ After school I rode home with Nicole but there wasn't a spare seat so I had to sit on her lap. -_- She kept on jumping up and down so I would jump up and down on her lap. @_@ Damn her.


Awwwww, Kyo, you always make me feel better, you little dork. >w<

Well, I guess I'll have to show my parents my crappy progress report for orchestra. I'll probably get yelled at and get my new DIRU CD or the internet taken away. *sighs* Great.
+Momo+
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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

   You are Stunning and I Just Want You
Current Mood: Dissapointed
Current Song: DISABLED COMPLEXES by Dir en grey

*sighs* I'm so dissapointed. Our crappy Hot Topic doesn't carry CDs, so it sure as hell doesn't have "THE MARROW OF A BONE." At least my parents got me the t-shirt, so I shouldn't be as dissapointed as I am. Plus, I have the CD downloaded on the computer, so it's not a total loss. I just want to have it in tangiblity so I'll be able to listen to it whenever I'm away from the computer. Oh, well... I'll have to be patient until I do actually get it.

Last night I realized why I was so upset about the whole DIRU thing. Yes, I'm dissapointed about the album, but I'm even more dissapointed in what I found out about myself. My mom told me that we might not be able to go, and that really hurt me. She promised me, and she knew how much I was looking forward to it. Because of that, I started thinking about all of the other things that she promised would happen that never came true. She promised me that she would teach me how to sew after 5th grade (I'm currently in 9th), promised she would make me a purse (a year ago), promised me she would cash my check for $70 and put it on an eBay card (I've waited for 3 months and still no fucking card), promised that she'd cash my rolled up coins, etc. Just one would be alright, but they've piled up so much. And not only from Mom, but from all of my friends. I was so mad at everyone and was crying because I was so angry, but I then realized that I had no one to blame but myself. I've let myself become this. I've let myself become a doormat. I let people step all over me. Granted, I only do this to spare people's feelings... but what about my feelings? I know that others are more important than I am, but I still wish I could be nice and feel good about myself. I guess I'll have to make the decision of being a "good person" or being happy. I've had the practice of being a doormat for 15 years, so I think I'll just stick to that.

This morning Nicole noticed something was wrong and asked me what it was. Whenever I told her, she seemed semi-sad for me, but then she asked me to go upstairs with her whenever I clearly didn't want to. Thus, another way I'm dragged around. In Orchestra we played the entire time, as usual, and we were fussed at and told we sucked even more than usual. I'm used to it by now, so I'm not going to complain. In Art we had a substitute, so I didn't even bother listening to him and listened to "Kisou." I finished my picture from yesterday, so I had time to work on a short story. During lunch I was dragged around again and made me really self-aware of how much I'm taken advantage of everyday. They may be tiny little things, like walking to get pizza with them or something, but they still don't care about what I want to do. That really hurts. In Science I worked more on my short story and stared at the wall for a little while. And at the end of it, my teacher stopped me and said "Rebecca!" I stopped and said "Yes, sir?" He just said "have a glorious day." I kinda paused for a moment then nodded in thanks and said "you too, sir." But then agian, that's not odd for him. @_@ It did make me a little happier, though. In English I had to suffer through Caleb's stupidity and was barely able to concentrate on my work. Luckily, I did get the majority done. Once I got home Dad told me the bad news about "THE MARROW OF A BONE" (that I expected), but at least I got the t-shirt. Wish it had DIRU on it, though. *sniffles*


Kyo-kun, make me feel better... T~T *hugs*

Well, I have to go to my brother's orchestra concert tonight, so I better get off. I hope you guys got your copies of TMOAB. Mata ne.
+Momo+

EDIT:
I GOT "THE MARROW OF A BONE", BITCHES~!!!!!!!!!! *dances* Haha, stupid fucking Hot Topic can't stop me! >D Since we had to go to my brother's concert, we dropped him off since he wouldn't play for about an hour. We went to Barnes & Noble to try to see if they would have it there. And sadly, they did not. ;~; But, luckily, I saw Sydney and Katie and found me in the Japanese section. X3 I showed them all of the Japanese books I already had and they were amazed... I told them I had a tiny Japanese library!!! After we went to Barnes & Noble, we planned to go back to the school but we had about half an hour left. Whenever we passed the mall I kept on screaming at Hot Topic that I was gonna kill all the employees or get Kyo to screech their ears off and Kaoru to deafen them with his godly guitar. >D Since we had more time, we went to Best Buy to see if it was there. I highly doubt TMOAB would be there, but I looked anyways. I scoured around the "D" section, and my heart jumped whenever I saw "Dir en grey." I frantically pushed away the other sections and saw that there was only two copies of "THE MARROW OF A BONE." So I snatched that motherfucker up and started squealing like mad!!!! I showed it to my dad and he was really relieved. I start squealing and hugging him and jumping up and down and shoving my arms up in the air, etc. There weren't a whole lot of people there, and I wouldn't care if they stared anyway. I got my DIRU, bitches. So we checked out and the entire time I was trying not to smile or squeal. XD Whenever we got out of Best Buy, I started screaming and sqealing and screaming "I GOT IT!!!!!!" X_X My dad said he was happy I was so excited, but was starting to go deaf. XD We went to Logan's concert, but I had to bring TMOAB with me... I couldn't leave my baby in the cold. D: We got just in time for the concert and I wiggled the CD at my brother. He just shook his head. XDDD After talking to my old orchestra teacher about Japanese (she used to study it), we went to go get something to eat. My parents got me some shit from Wendy's so they could go next door to Chick-Fil-A. And, of course, I took TMOAB with me. XD Whenever I got home I immediately listened to the CD and sang along with the lyrics. ^-^ Granted, I had to take a shower after "Ryoujoku no Ame", but I still listened to it all.

Damn, I feel great. I got my CD and my t-shirt. I shall wear it tommorow with pride and dream of listening to it once again when I get home from school. ^-^ Hehe~, stupid fucking Hot Topic ain't got nothin' on me!!! I'm still gonna blow them up in the name of all those who weren't able to get "THE MARROW OF A BONE", though. So, if you see a crazy brown-haired girl giggling and wearing a DIRU t-shirt and carrying a lighter and screaming "IN THE NAME OF KYO-SAN", run. RUN. XD
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Monday, February 19, 2007

   1 MORE DAY~!!!
Current Mood: Excited
Current Song: Conceived Sorrow by Dir en grey

DIRU in Texas

WHOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!! Tommorow Hot Topic will released "THE MARROW OF A BONE" and DIRU's new t-shirt~!!! I am so effing excited, and totally prepared to rape my merchandise once I get it. >3 My parents are going to buy the t-shirt as a late Valentine's Day gift, and I'm going to buy the CD... they better have the limited edition, dammit. >( Also, I'm going to see if they have "Withering to Death", because I only have a burned copy and it sucks ASS. Also, I feel bad for not giving DIRU any money for their hard work. ;~; If they don't have WTD (which I doubt-our HT sucks... but they better fucking have TMOAB and the t-shirt or some shit's gonna go down), I'll just buy it off eBay since I have $70 there. *shrugs* But I just hope that I don't orgasm too much in front of my parents once I get the stuff. o_O

Last night I felt really protective of Kyo since I had to fight my brother for saying that Kyo was fat. I started working on my fanletter again until Dad told me to go to sleep. XD

In Orchestra we played our asses off because our teacher was being a real bitch but I did manage to squeeze in some time to work on Kyo-sama's letter. I'm a sneaky little monkey, ne? ^o~ In Art we had to draw in some missing pieces of a real life picture, and I was so happy at first because I thought we were going to be able to choose what picture we were going to draw. And of course, you all know who I'd draw. ^^; But, that wasn't the case and I had to listen to some DIRU to make it all better. For some reason I've been in a sad song mood today. I listened to "embryo", "Higeki wa Mabuta wo Oroshita Yasashiki Utsu" (damn, that's a mouthfull @_@), and "24ko Cylinders." I wanted to listen to "Myaku", too, for some reason, but "MACABRE" and "Vulgar" got erased off my iPod a month or so ago. o_O Lunch was normal lunch. Anthony and Nicole grabbed my legs whenever I was getting up so I did a split and Stacie pinched my ass, though. >_O I'm always the one who gets raped in our little group. XD Anthony did give me a dollar so I could get something to drink and I got a Powerade called "Artic Freeze." However, everyone at my school thinks that it's watered-down skeet because of it's cloudy white color. XD So, whenever I got the bottle I started hugging it and saying "Kyo no bukkake desu~..." @_@ (For those of you who don't know, bukkake is an AV term for cum. Bukkake really is a creamy, white sauce poured over udon, though. Yeah.) Just a little creepy, ne? X_X But then, again, if he weren't so goddamn hot, I wouldn't have to be creepy. So, yes, it's Kyo's fault. XD In Science I basically worked on my Kyo fanletter the entire time but paid attention to what was really going on for about 10 minutes total. @_@ But if I don't watch it, my fanletter's gonna turn into a novel soon. I have enough time to work on it, though, considering that I have to finish all of my 1000 paper cranes before I give it to him... and I only have 225. -_- In English we had a substitute so our class really just screwed around. I did actually work, though, despite the fact Dylan kept on taking my eraser and Caleb kept on bugging me. -_- Damn them!!! After school I got a condom. XDDD I don't remember what I said, but Anthony gave me a condom and I put it in my makeup bag right next to the picture of Kyo rubbing himself. XDDD I know that I'll never use it, but it'll always be fun to scream "I GOTS A CONDOM!!!" @_@ I really need to lay off the candy if it's gonna make me this damn hyper.


Y'know, Kyo should really be Powerade's spokesperson. *imagines Kyo's Powerade commercial-Kyo walks on the set, holds up a bottle, says "Boku no bukkake desu", takes a sip, and walks off.* Hell, I'd buy it. XD

Kyaaaaaaa, I can't wait until 6 p.m. tommorow~! That's when I get to raid Hot Topic. *SQUEE* DIRU, here I come~!!! I guess I'll just watch the "GRIEF" PV and some of their lives to tide me over until then. *squeals* Mata ne~!!! V^o^V
+Momo+

EDIT:
FUCK YES~!!! I got all the lyrics for "THE MARROW OF A BONE" HERE!!! HUUUUUUUUUUGE thanks to Dani-chan! I love you~!!! >w<
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Sunday, February 18, 2007

   LMOTHERFUCKEORANEOWAHJDNEA!!!!
Current Mood: PISSED OFF
Current Song: Agitated Screams of Maggots by Dir en grey

DIRU in Texas

Okay, I know that my brother was kidding when he said what he said, but I have to get this off of my chest-


STOP FUCKING SAYING THAT J-ROCKERS ARE FAT WHEN THEY'RE REALLY PERFECTLY FINE.

Okay, I was looking at some pictures of Kyo and I saw one where his biceps looked really big. So I went "whoa... he has really big muscles. o_o" So my dumbass brother looked and said "that's not muscles, that's fat." I looked at him and said "did you just say Kyo was fat?!" I started smacking him and yelling at him and flipping him off. Oooh, that pissed me off so much. >_< Then I bit him just to make sure he was sorry. I know my brother was kidding, and I know that Kyo is NOT fat (no matter what anyone says), but Kyo is really self-consious of himself. If he heard that being said, I'm almost absolutely sure that he would feel like shit. I remember reading an interview back in the "MACABRE" days whenever he had that really bad infection in his ear and had to go the hospital. They asked him what he felt like in the hospital, and Kyo told them that he felt really lonely and worried. When they asked what he was worried about, he said that it was because he was afraid he was going to get fat. I almost started crying whenever I heard that. I know it's silly to get so emotional over something like that, but to know that he thinks so little of himself breaks my heart. Even if he DID gain a little weight, he would still be beautiful. Even if on the outside he turned "ugly", he would still be the most beautiful man on the earth to me.

And a month or so ago, I was on the DIRU foto community on live journal, and I saw that one girl said that Kyo looked like he was pregnant. I was so pissed off that she said that, but even more angry that she considers herself a fan. It reminded me so much of whenever Die went anorexic because his "fans" said that he was fat. If that happens to Kyo, I will have to kill almost all of DIRU's stupid fucking fanbase.

I love DIRU. To death-you guys know that. But they have one of the most stupid fucking fanbases EVER. Luckily, all of the friends I made in the DIRU fanbase are loyal. Thank you guys, for not being stupid fucking assholes.

And on Kyo's birthday I was looking at pictures of Kyo and I saw one from the making of "Mitsu to Tsuba." Y'know, the one where it's a closeup of Kyo smiling really big and his face looks kinda round? Anyways, I was looking at that and my dad said "Kyo was a little chubby back then, wasn't he?" >_< He's ASIAN. He can't help that he has a round face and bigger cheeks than gaijin, that's just the way Asians are built. Luckily, I was able to keep my mouth shut and not completely go off on him. -_-


How could anyone say that about our sweet, cute, little dorky Kyo? D:

...

Okay... I think my rant is over. But if I hear ANYONE calling Kyo fat again (even if it's Kyo himself), I'm gonna have to kill them. I love that man and no one is going to make him feel like shit.


Does that look like fat to you? HELL NO. That looks like sex to me.

Last night I watched "Moon Child" for the first time, and I thought it was alright. I think the reason I didn't like it as much is because I never was a Gackt or HYDE fangirl , and that I thought it got a little scatter-brained in the middle. It was still pretty funny in all of it's Japanese cheesiness and hearing Gackt call everyone "baka" every five seconds. XD But I thought the first part was really cute and the last part was really emotional-that's what made the film really redeem itself. And plus, Son was reeeeeeeeeeeally hot. X3 Sorry to all the fans of the movie... please don't kill me... I just stood up for Kyo. *puppy dog eyes*

Today was kinda boring, but that's usual. We layed around the house for an hour or so before we actually went out to eat at a Mexican restaurant. I had a tasty bean burrito. ^-^V Vegetarian delight~!!! XD Our waitress was really nice, too. ^-^ Afterwards we went to Target to get some stuff and I was so happy to see that they've stocked their Easter stuff already~!!! I love Easter things, they're so adorable. >3< There was so much cute stuff, I wanted to get it all. XD But I did get a pair of really cool skull hoop earrings and a Hello Kitty tote bag, each for a dollar~! :D I was looking at the bag and saw (1976 2007). I thought "1976? That's the year Kyo was born! Kyo's a HK baby~!!! XD" I'm such a dork. Anyway, after wandering around for a long ass time, my parents finally finished shopping and we went home. I watched TV for a while (I hate watching TV, I only layed there because I had felt sick all day and if I sat up to make a paper crane for Kyo, I would puke) and was miserable the entire time. -_- After my parents went to Blockbuster, I got on the computer and looked at some Kyo pictures to prove that Kyo wore panties. X3 Then Logan said Kyo was fat... damn, don't even get me started. I'm gonna kill someone if I do. -_-

Damn, I don't wanna go to school tommorow. I just wanna stay home and watch my DIRU DVDs. -_- Love you guys... mata ne~!
+Momo+
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