Saturday, February 17, 2007

   Japanese Zombie Hero~!
Current Mood: Sleepy/Happy
Current Song: THE PLEDGE by Dir en grey

Sorry for posting so late!!! D: But in any matter, happy birthday to our scary sexy leader-sama~!!!! \^o^/ Today Kaoru-kun is 33 years old... that old man! XD No, I'm just kidding. He's still sexy and shall never grow old!!! T^T Anyways, I hope he has a great birthday and that his fans (either today or tommorow) shall give him tons of presents and Gundam stuff. ^-^V He deserves it, for all that he's done for his fans and J-rock.






OMFG, he was such a cute baby~!!! ^o^

Today has been quite uneventful, but enjoyable nonetheless. I woke up at around 1:30 and just layed on the couch for a little while. @_@ Eventually Mom got out of the bathroom and I took a nice, warm shower. ^3^ Afterwards I put on my makeup and wrote Kaoru's kanji on my cheek (it's not as neat as I wanted it to be, but it still looks half-descent -3-) and then Mom fussed at me for it. X_X Soon enough we went to go get something to eat at Jack-In-the-Box. I was so full afterwards that I thought I was gonna explode. @_@ I also had some soda and it was so sweet that it tasted like I was drinking pure sugar. *twitches* On the ride to the movies, I listened to "-kigan-" and "ZOMBOID" in honor of Kaoru-kun (well, "-kigan-" was more in honor of Kaoru since I fucking LOVE his guitar solo in that). :D Then we went to the theaters (it plays movies before they come out on DVD) to watch "Casino Royale" since my entire family's been dying to see it. For anyone who likes the James Bond movies or just like action movies, WATCH IT. It was a great movie, so I highly recommend it. I don't see why everyone thinks he's so sexy, though. The only thing I found semi-attractive about him were his eyes... *so pretty!!!* God, I'm such a sucker for eyes. -3- Anyways, it was really good. Yeah. XD;

That's pretty much my day.... I feel bad for not really doing anything for Kaoru-sama's birthday! He's done so much for me and all of his fans, J-rock, and music worldwide! I'm sorry, Kaoru... I still love you. ;o;


See? Kyo-kun loves you~!!! (awwwwwwwwww!!!! >3<)

*SQUEE* I can't wait until the 20th~!!! And the the 24th~!!! *dances* February is a wonderful month, my friends! LOVES~!
+Momo+
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Friday, February 16, 2007

   TANJOUBI OMEDETOU~!!!
Current Mood: Happy/Excited
Current Song: CLEVER SLEAZOID by Dir en grey

DIRU in Colorado

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KYOOOOOOOOO!!!! *jumps up and down, dances, throws confetti in the air, screams* 31 years ago, our dear little Kyo-kun was born in Kyoto, Japan and never gave up on his dreams to become a musician. He even took the huge risk of quitting high school when he was just a sophomore to pursue his middle-school dreams. Ever since the age of 16, he worked with music and joined bands until he hit success with Dir en grey at the age of 21... now look and see what a sexbomb he's become today~! ^o^ Bonzai! Bonzai! Bonzai!!! \^o^/ I really hope Kyo has a good birthday even though he has to spend it in America (poor Kaoru-kun has to too... I hope Shinya can get to Japan by the 24th ;~;)... his fans better sing him happy birthday, give him good gifts, and make him feel at home!!! >O


Awwwwwwww..... it's little baby Kyo~!!! V^//^V

I had a great day today~! I didn't really have to do anything!!! XD Whenever I woke up, I threw on my Kyo shirt (it looks like his from "DRAIN AWAY"), Kyo necklace (the dogtag with a cross on it), put on my Kyo-esque watch and chain, Kyo button (I made a button last night with my button maker that has Kyo's kanji and a heart on it), pyramid-spike belt, and wrote Kyo's kanji on both of my hands. So, obviously, I tried to dress as similarly as Kyo as possible today. XD Whenever I got to school I ran to the bathroom to paint Kyo's kanji on my cheek and whenever I got out, I found my friends and screamed "happy Kyo's birthday!!!!!!!" XD Nicole was horrified, but wasn't very suprised. In Orchestra I found Storm and clinged onto her and screamed "HAPPY KYO'S BIRTHDAY!!!" She asked how old he is and whenever I replied "31~" she just stared at me for a second then asked "you're a stalker, aren't you?" XDDD; Our teacher was kinda bitchy today, but luckily, we were saved by a fire drill. >3 I got to talk to Sydney for a little bit and told him that it was Kyo's birthday. XDDD In Art we had to finish something that I finished yesterday, so I just sat around and practiced Japanese. Whenever I was sure that my teacher wouldn't see, I whipped out my iPod and listened to a whole lot of "Kisou." ^3^ In lunch I just talked to Stacie and Nicole about how excited I am that it's Kyo's birthday. XD; I'm such a loser. In Science we just did about three pages from our workbook then watched a documentary on animals for no apparent reason. X_X At least it made me come up with two lines of lyrics ("silently waiting in the orchids until the poison blooms" and "swallow the wing")... and it was fun to watch some of the other girls squirm. X3 In English we almost finished watching "Edward Scissorhands." I love that damn movie. XDDD; I almost cried because it's so sad and Edward is so sweet. @_@ Outside I wished everyone a happy Kyo's birthday and then got picked up by Anthony for trying to kick him. o_o I hate being picked up, I started screaming and kicking and shit. XD


"Oh, no.... I sense.... FANGIRLS."

For Kyo's birthday, I plan on making more paper cranes (I'm working on a project to make 1000 paper cranes for him... so far I only have 220 -3-), watching PVs, reflecting on his career and success, wishing him luck in his years to come, listening to "THE MARROW OF A BONE", etc. Y'know, things I normally do but in a larger quantity. XD; Well, happy Kyo's birthday everyone!!! Just remember not to drink too much or you'll have a hangover on Kaoru's!!!
+Momo+
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Thursday, February 15, 2007

   Give me [mu]...
Current Mood: Depressed
Current Song: 24ko Cylinders by Dir en grey

So, yesterday was really good until about 9:30 p.m. My mom found out something about me that I wish I could've hidden from her better. Whenever she asked me about it, I could feel my throat tighten up and I was overcome with a wave of naseau. I'm not going to say what it is just in case someone I don't want to see this gets a hold of my website. But she made me feel so ashamed of myself and really lowered my self-esteem.... I had already felt bad about myself all week (I was feeling more ugly and fat than usual), but she slammed it through the ground when she told me "I'm not going to lose my marriage over you". Luckily, I didn't cry all that much whenever I went to sleep. I think I'm used to the fact that I'm more worthless than the average person.

Despite all of this, please, don't feel sorry for me. I got myself into this shit and if my family is torn apart by it, it's my fault. The last thing I need is someone's pity to make me think that this type of thing is okay.

In Orchestra we didn't play as long as we normally did, but I kinda wished that we had. After we were done playing I sat down on the floor and stared at the ceiling while some of the things Mom said to me last night replayed in my head over and over again. Hearing it made tears start to well up in my eyes, but luckily I didn't cry. Storm kept on trying to ask me what was wrong, but then I just lied to her and told her I was tired and didn't feel all that well. It was true-I kept nodding off throughout the whole day and my stomach hurt like hell-but, I still wasn't entirely honest. Then "-mushi-" started playing in my head and I thought I was going to cry again. I feel so ashamed. In Art, it just got worse. I kept on telling myself how worthless and selfish I was and for some reason "anata no sei" ("it's your fault") kept on repeating itself in my head. I felt so weak and small, that I eventually had to listen to some DIRU to cheer me up. During lunch I had a dry sarcasm to my jokes that made Stacie and Korki realize something was wrong. And, of course, I lied to them too. Before the beginning of science dear little Korki was trying to cheer me up and she wrote "KYO!!! :D" on the back of my paper. She can be such a sweetheart. So, I hugged her and told her "thank you, Korki! I love you!" During Science, I zoned out, like I always did and I wasn't as depressed as I was, thank God. I tried thinking about Kyo to cheer myself up, but I couldn't even bring myself to do that. And, to the truth, that only made me more depressed because I kept on thinking about how I'm such a vulgar little idiot who keeps on chasing dreams that will never come true. Like Kyo would want to waste his time with an obsessive, ugly, stupid fangirl. Anyways, in English we finished the last report (it was on discrimination against Japanese-Americans, but it only pissed me off because they kept on pronouncing stuff wrong -_-), and watched a little bit of "Edward Scissorhands." :D At least that made me happy-I had to hug my English teacher to thank her. @_@ After school Bobby told me how he went on YouTube last night and looked up Gackt videos. And he told me that Gackt was the only man he ever thought was incredibly hot. XDDD; I told him "yeah, Gackt seems to have that effect on people."


Even though I'm not all that much a fan of Gackt (I like his music, it's just that sometimes he can be really stuck-up), you can't help but admit you'd so hit that.

I'm sorry this is such a depressing post, guys. Hopefully I'll be super-happy and back to normal crackheady Momo tommorow since it's gonna be Kyo's birthday. V^-^V Love you guys. Mata ne.
+Momo+
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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

   Blood Tastes Like Vanilla
Current Mood: Meh
Current Song: GRIEF by Dir en grey

DIRU in Minnesota

Gaaaaaaah, DIRU's in Minnesota today. *sighs* If you're wondering why I'm so upset, it's because I have relatives in Minnesota. If I had convinced my parents to let my go "visit my relatives" (*coughs* @_@), I would be able to see my DIRU. Granted, we'd have to buy plane tickets and probably drive a fair amount to get there, but it'd be worth it. ;~; Then again, my relatives there are super-Christians. I can't imagine my Aunt Carol's face if she took me to the concert. Probably be something like this-

A. Carol: "Uhhh, Rebecca, do you really think this is appropriate? Do you think God would want this? Oh, sweet Jesus, that tiny Japanese man is rubbing himself! GOD BLESS ME!!!"
Me: "Yeah, yeah, Aunt Carol. KYOOOOOOOOO!!!! I'M RIGHT HERE, BABY!!! THE RAPE IS FRESH FOR THE TAKING!!!"

XD Yeah.


PLEEEEEEEEASE, for the love of God, RAPE MEEEEEEEEEEE!!! D:

So, today is Valentine's Day. I'm not very keen on Valentine's Day since it's just a stupid excuse to earn money and I think people should be able to say "I love you" every single day, not just once a year. At least people DO show their affection, though. So I guess it's not all that bad. *shrugs* Anyhow, whenever I got to school Katie gave me a fuzzy Hello Kitty valentine and a heart sticker... I started squealing as soon as I got it. XDDD; And Anthony told me that he wasn't sure what my 2nd period class was, so someone else might get a candygram (these gay suckers our school supplied so we could send them to someone) that said "ASIAN!!!" on it. XD Orchestra was, well, orchestra. We played almost the entire time, yippee. At least I got to talk to my nice orchestra teacher and he thought it was really funny how I hated "chalk candy hearts and chocolates filled with toothpaste." @_@ In Art we had to work on our shading project and I got to work on my keyhole homework-we were supposed to draw a keyhole and what we would see through it. I waaaaaaaas gonna draw something consearning me, Kyo, and a bedroom, but once again I was restricted by stupid school rules. -_- During lunch Stacie finally took pity on me and didn't make me go down with her to get her food-probably because she already got her food. XD Anyway, Stacie and I are now engaged!!! I was flipping through one of my Japanese notebooks and I looked at her and asked "kekkon shite kureru?" She told me to stop speaking in Japanese but then I pointed to the translation and she was like "yes, Becky!!! Yes, I'll marry you!!!" We're such dorks. XDDD; The first half of Science we had to watch this stupid video on energy and the majority of the time I had a WONDERFUL daydream about Kyo... it was more graphic than some pornos, though. XDDD; Oh, well. That was my Valentine's Day gift from Kyo (YATTA!!! I knew he loved me!!!). >3 The only problem was that I was so turned on afterward that the table looked appealing. @_@ In English the rest of the groups had to finish their projects, so I listened to most of them and tried not to think about Kyo too much... I didn't want to have an orgasm right in the middle of class. o_O; Anyhow, Madison (the girl who tried to ruin my project yesterday) was bitchy to the Morman group too, so I don't feel all that alone. I just wish people would keep their opinions to themselves sometimes. After all the projects were done, we a few things to wrap up "To Kill a Mockingbird" and she explained our homework to us. Yup. Whenever I got home, my brother gave me a card and a little present, and my thoughts were proven right-they were from my ex-boyfriend, Taylor. I had a feeling that he was coming into my life today since I wore a necklace he bought me whenever we were together. I looked at his card and in it he told me that he still cared for me and still loved me. I knew he still felt that way, but it was just shocking to see it in writing. I've thought of getting back together with Taylor, but I'm not sure. I'm probably more sensitive whenever the thought of a relationship arises because I'm always like that whenever someone likes me and I just broke up with my boyfriend who was cheating on me. Maybe I should just get my head on straight and think about why I broke up with him in the first place. Maybe I'm just thinking too hard. -_-

Neeeeeee... I can't really think of anything else to say except to have an orgasmic Valentine's Day!!!


I hope you have a sweet (pie-flavored) Valentine's Day!!! :D

I just hope no one gives Toshiya or Kyo sweets at the concert today... Die, Shinya, and Kaoru will get LOTS of candy if that happens. o_o *imagines hyper Kaoru and Shinya and giggles*
+Momo+
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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

   Neeeeeee....
Current Mood: So-so
Current Song: ROTTING ROOT by Dir en grey

DIRU in Illinois

Hey, everyone! Today is Alayna's 16th birthday!!! Whoooooo!!! *dances* In case you guys don't know, Alayna is one of my best friends and she's helped me through some of the toughest times of my life. She knew me all the back when I was MelancholyTears, Aimai-Kagura, and still is friends with me now as PeachesXCream. She stayed by me when I thought I couldn't go on any longer and never thought I would be able to wake up the next day and smile. But she proved me wrong, and showed me that there still are good people in this world and that someone will always be here to stand beside me. Granted, I've never met Alayna in real life, but she's one of the people I'm closest with. I can always count on her to be here for me and tolerate my ridiculousness. And, for that I thank you, Alayna. I wish I could send you to that DIRU concert today, I would. If I had a ticket, but you didn't, I would send you instead. You deserve it. Have a great 16th birthday!!!



Okay. Now onto my day. When I got to school I told Nicole how I loved my "I HEART NY" shirt because it's old and faded and kinda makes it look like it's gone through a lot. She told me "you tape 'Kyo' where 'NY' is." I started jumping up and down and squealing whenever she said that. XDDD In Orchestra we had sectionals so we were able to do whatever we wanted whenever our section wasn't playing-so I got to listen to some DIRU as loud as I could. ^-^ The rest of the time we almost had to play until the bell, though. -_- Luckily, I had enough time to write Kyo's kanji down on a sheet of paper and taped it to my shirt. >3 In Art we had to do this shading sheet that let us know how to shade stuff. XD Nice. During lunch I had to spend my first half of lunch bringing Nicole down to the cafeteria because she didn't want to go alone. -_- I love my friends, but I hate that they want me to take them everywhere. They want me to go with them to the cafeteria, they want me to go to the bathroom with them, they want me to go to their locker with them, they want me to walk around with them, blah, blah, blah. I just want to eat my damn lunch!!! D: It's not fair!!! And they kept on ripping off the Kyo sign and thought it was funny. T~T Before Science started I was re-taping the Kyo sign because it fell off my shirt and Korki stood beside me whenever I did it. Then whenever I taped it back on, she ripped it off. >_o Unfortunately, I screamed whenever she did it and the whole entire class stared at me. My teacher yelled, "dang, Rebecca!!!" I just blushed and covered my mouth and said "sorry, sir." -_- Why does this shit always happen to me? Anyways, Science was normal and boring. Took notes. Yippee. Today in English we had to present our projects. D: I was kinda pissed off at my partner who showed a clip with an ukiyo-e with sex in it. -_- It was two women (y'know, since we were doing homosexuality), and one was suckling one's breast, but we still couldn't gotten in a lot of trouble for it. I just kinda looked at him like "WHAT THE FUCK, KYLE!?!!!!!" He just shrugged and smiled. *sighs* I also did my speech but some people disagreed with me and made it clear. There's this one girl who is a real bitch and always has been to me. She kept on contradicting me and trying to humiliate me right in front of the whole class whenever I speaking about something that I was obviously VERY passionate about. I just answered her questions with a cracked smile and tried to answer politely. I was really nervous whenever I gave my speech (I was sweating and shaking from being so scared), but I really wanted to do it so I could try to get the point across to people that homosexuals are people. I was worried that I was going to cry whenever I was talking about some people were murdered for being homosexuals because my voice started to crack and my eyes were watery... luckily, I was able to hide the tears. I wasn't suprised that so many people tried arguing with me about it, since it's such a controversial subject, but I still wish they'd open their hearts. They started talking about how "they say in the Bible that it's not right." Ooooh, I got pissed. People hiding behind their religion as an excuse for their behavior is just stupid. I did get everyone to shut up whenever I said "during slavery times, the Bible also said that African Americans were against God." Except for that one bitchy girl I talked about before, though... I heard her mumble "I'd like you to show me that." GAHHHHH!!! I was so fucking angry I was about to jump over the podium and grow fangs and tear her fucking hair out!!!! ARRRRRRGGG!!! *hits head on desk* SHE JUST PISSES ME OFF BAD!!! And after I was done with the project, as I passed her desk, she said "nice job on your project, Rebecca." ALKNEOIAHGIOU0932LN;ADJAD!!! DON'T YOU FUCKING TALK TO ME, BITCH!!! She was trying to kiss my ass and get me to bow down to her!!! UGH!!! I extremely dislike her. *digs nails into the keyboard* But luckily, one of my friends came over and thanked me for standing up for homosexuals, because her mom is a lesbian. This made me feel good, like I had actually helped the gays. Rumors are gonna probably circle around that I'm a lesbian because I was so passionate about the issue... but I still don't think I changed anyone's mind, which really upsets me. I just want the gays to be treated equally. I'm a bisexual, so I partially know how it feels to be discriminated against and have a secret. I just wish people could get over themselves and love each other. *sighs* Hopefully I'll be able to live to see that day.



Hm. I don't think I have anything else to say. Except that tommorow is Valentines Day-that means I get candy even though I hate that damn holiday. XD Yay sugar!!!
+Momo+
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Monday, February 12, 2007

   Chou ga Shinu Mafuyu no Kisetsu desu.
Current Mood: Alright, I guess
Current Song: -kigan- by Dir en grey

DIRU in Michigan

Today has been so-so. At least it wasn't terrible like yesterday. :/ Orchestra was normal, but our teachers weren't as strict today, so that made me happy. I did have to sit in the front, though. That meant no breakfast for Momo until the end of the period. -3- In Art we finished up some pictures, and I finally finished that Leonardo DaVinci picture that took so effing long. Thank God!!! The entire period I listened to "Withering to Death" and "-kigan-" and "ZOMBOID." I wanted to listen to "GRIEF", but I don't have it on my iPod. D: The only problem was that I wanted to headbang and sing SO BADLY. My leg moves to the music whenever I can't headbang, so during "ZOMBOID", my entire body was shaking from doing it so hard. XD I mouthed the lyrics to "THE FINAL" and "dead tree", because I can't go without at singing those. I got a little teary during "THE FINAL" because I started to think about how alone I feel sometimes. But luckily "Beautiful Dirt" straightened me out and the next thing I was thinking was "oh, yeah... this is some baby-makin' music right here." X3 The first half of lunch, I had to go to the library to print something out for my project but I came back in time to see all of my fwends. :3 Katie was there and brought her bento today, so I started flipping out and squeeing over that, screaming "obento! Obento desuuuu~!" XD While I was there Anthony tickled me. -_- Damn my ticklishness!!! Science was.... well, science. What more can I say. We watched a crappy video (which I daydreamed of Kyo during... and oh, was it lovely >3) and took notes. Yeah. That's science for you. But Korki DID give me some Pocky and I squeed and ate it happily (it was chocolate, not strawberry ;~;). In English I was freaking out because today was the day we presented our homosexuality project. The reason I was so worried was because it counts as a large part of our grade and I didn't know how it would turn out. Luckily, we didn't have enough time to present ours, so we didn't. *whew* Unfortunately, we'll have to do it tommorow. -_- Damn. Outside of school was fun. I talked to Katie and Sydney and Katie and I discussed Gackt's curry-making habits. *coughs* XD (FYI, Gackt is the only J-rocker that slightly disturbs me. You know something's wrong with you whenever you freak out a Kyo fangirl.) Anyhow, Korki came up and gave me the rest of her Pocky!!! :D I was so happy, I started jumping up and down and hugging her. Then I shoved it down the front of my pants. XD;;; That's a bad habit of mine that I need to break. Everyone wanted some of my pants Pocky and then we talked about the "bokki" shirt we've seen. I want it so baaaaaad... *sighs* Nicole finally came and was so upset whenever she found out that we had a Pocky orgy without her. She started screaming. @_@ And the walk home was extra cracky. I don't know what's wrong with her lately, but she's more hyper than usual. o_O And that's pretty damn hyper.


The infamous Bocky shirt. XD


*twitches* Dammit, Kyo, you make me want to molest you so bad. D:

All I have to do for my homosexuality project now is to color the timeline and make it look nice, because all it has on it other than the information is the bisexual pride flag, gay pride flag, and transgender pride flag. Only Katie and I knew what they meant. XD

Hey, I need some Japanese help. What does "dakishimeru" mean? I've heard it so many times in DIRU songs in it's past form (it's a verb, right D:), but I don't know what it means. I know that "daku" means "to hug" or "to fuck." WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!

Tommorow is Alayna's birthday. ^-^ Then it will be Kyo's on Friday, and Kaoru's on Saturday. So many birthdays in one week!!! I'm gonna be busy celebrating!!! :D Mata ne~!
+Momo+
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Sunday, February 11, 2007

   *sigh* -_-
Current Mood: Pissed off
Current Song: Agitated Screams of Maggots by Dir en grey

Just in case you guys haven't seen it, here's the subbed version of DIRU's aknot message from all the way back in the Gauze era. I always loved this clip, but only understood a little bit of what they were saying, and I probably figured all my little DIRU otaku had the same problem. So, here it is. Say you love me. Saaaaaaaaaay ittttt.... *pokes*

Last night I finally got to watch "Saw III".... I was so excited at Blockbuster that I ran to get it and pushed my brother out of the way. XD; Once I got it I started jumping up and down and screaming "victory! Yatta!!!" XD It's pretty sad when the child embarasses the parents. But anyways, I really liked it. It wasn't as good as the first or second, but it was still good. And if you haven't seen the "Saw" movies yet, don't start with the third-it'll just be a waste of your time. The third one is basically for the fans-like they said in the making of it-and ties up a lot of loose ends. But the "Saw" trilogy are some of my favorite movies, so I liked it, of course. And there was some dead pigs in it, but it was soooo funny to watch the making of it. They talked about how they wanted maggots on the pigs to increase the "gross" factor and make it seem more realistic, so they covered them in honey and maggots. One of the guys said, "ewwwww, this is still sticky. If you liked it, it'd taste like honey.... and maggots." XD It also inspired me for a name of a song. So, thank you, "Saw III."



Ugh. I have to go to the library today to work on my homosexual project. That's why I hate wasting my time with groups. If I just worked by myself, I would have had it done already. -_- I'm taking my iPod so I can listen to DIRU while I'm doing it and possibly lessen my anger.


XDDD Ah, Kyo, you can never make me angry. I wub you. *cuddles*

Ne. I REALLY don't want to go to the library today. My weekend has sucked, so I just want to... fuck , I don't know what I want to do Kyo. That's always fun. XD Well, I guess I better go so I can eat something before I go to the stupid fucking library. -_- But, remember. Never call Kyo "-chan", and nebaa sei guudbai! (Watch the video if you don't know what I'm talking about.)

Edit:
Today was terrible. I'm so upset that I feel sick and have a head splitting headache. I want to crawl in a hole and die.

Okay, so here's what happened. I had been upset because I had to go to the library, but my parents kept on telling me it would be okay. Then we went to go eat something-that's when things got bad. We went to Firebonz and I accidentally spilled my drink. I just stared at it for a few seconds thinking "great, another fucking thing going wrong." My mom and dad started yelling at me to clean it up while Dad was frantically ripping up paper towels to clean it up. I eventually did, and I was so pissed off. I don't remember what made him say it, but he told me that I was acting like a child, and that I need to get over the fact that I have to go to the library. He yelled at me, saying that he had to do things he hated every single day and that I was making myself and everyone else miserable. That hurt me so deeply. Not only because I'm close to my dad and he hardly ever yells at me, but because he knows that I sensitive whenever things go wrong and that I always think they're my fault in the first place. I started to cry, but wish I didn't. Mom told me to go to the bathroom, so I did and locked myself in the stall and cried for about 10 minutes until Mom came in and yelled at me to stop crying and that I needed to go back out there. I wiped up my tears and did as she told me, and tried to calm down by studying Japanese. I cried a little, but they didn't really notice all that much. Then, our food came. We started to eat and I decided to turn on my cell phone just in case Dylan (my partner for the project) called. Then, I saw that I had a new message. I checked it and Dylan said "hey, Becky. We're going to have to go to the library at 2 because it closes at 4. Call me back. Bye." I looked at my watch and saw that it was 3:00. I started to cry again. Everything had gone wrong and getting upset was all for nothing. My dad yelled at me again after I said "I knew I shouldn't have taken honors" and he stormed out of the restaraunt. I was so upset that I just layed my head down on the table. I tried to eat but I just felt like I was going to throw up. Mom went to go looking for Dad and the entire time she was gone all I could think of was my dad saying "you're making everyone else miserable." I also started thinking about how my younger brother always has to see his older sister break down. I'm supposed to take care of him, but how often does that happen? I'm such a terrible sister and daughter. I wanted to die. Mom came back after failing to find him and called him on his cell phone and got a hold of him. We got our check and Dad went in the car. We drove to the library and they dropped me off. I was so embarassed whenever I found Kyle and Dylan because my face was still tearstained and red from crying. At least they were nice to me and didn't ask any questions. Eventually Dylan cheered me up by being his normal self and we got some stuff done. We're probably gonna get a B or C, but at least we tried. At this point, I don't even fucking care. Afterwards, we took Dylan home and I came home and worked some more on my project. I know I should do some more on it, but I just want to go to sleep. I'm so tired, I feel sick, and I'm upset. I don't want to see my father.

The week before last, I ruined everyone's weekend too. I'm such a selfish bitch. And like my father said, a child. I get upset so much and over such little things. I really don't appreciate what I have. I don't want to go to school tommorow. I just want to lie down. I hurt too bad to do anything right now. I'm such a revolting person.
+Momo+
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Saturday, February 10, 2007

   I say DESTROY
Current Mood: Bored
Current Song: Conceived Sorrow by Dir en grey

DIRU in New York

Last night was boring. -3- We dropped my brother off at his school for the dance he was going to. It was kinda weird being at my old middle school again. Granted, I went there last year, but still. Anyhow, after we dropped him off, my parents and the shut in child (that's me-I never go anywhere XD) went to Target to get some crap. I wandered around in the makeup section for a little while, until I went to the jewelry section, then went to the clothes section, then went back to the jewelry section. There was this really cute necklace I wanted, but it was $10 and I can't spend any money (I have to save up for "THE MARROW OF A BONE" and their new shirt). The necklace had a heart with lacy edge, and an arrow dangling beside it. It was soooooo adorable, I looked at it with sad puppy eyes. ;~; After my parents finally found me, went bought all our stuff (they found Hello Kitty gummies and bought me those :D) and drove around for about half an hour until we decided that we wanted to eat at Wendys. I got my usual, a baked potato with strawberry yogurt and granola. I got soda instead of water (like I usually do) and I thought I was gonna throw up from how sweet it was. @_@ I ended up only drinking about half of it. While we were there, they were playing some really crappy music and my dad was being mean and said that this song probably made more than DIRU has in thier whole career. -_- I told him that may be true (although I sincerely DOUBT it), but at least they don't suck. He then looked around as if he were saying the opposite and I growled a little bit. They love making fun of DIRU to piss me off. *sighs* We went to pick up Logan and came back home and I got on the computer. I listened to "THE MARROW OF A BONE" again and watched "GRIEF" again and found the lyrics and screeshots from it (if you want to see them, look at last post. I'm too lazy to post them up again @_@). After I had done all the damage I could do, I sat down and (reluctantly) watched Paula Deen with Mom. *twitches* I HATE watching HGTV, Food Network, Lifetime, oxygen, and all those other girly networks. I'd rather have my eyes operated on through my butt. I played some Tetris on my gameboy before turning it to Seinfeld and getting very sleepy. I went to bed at 12. o_o That must be a record for me.


I wish I were that camera...

Today has been no better. Mom woke me up at 1 and I layed there for about 45 minutes before I dragged myself to take a shower. The shower sucked. After washing my hair, the water turned freezing cold so I was shivering during the rest of it. And it's really cold in my bathroom so whenever I got out I ran to the towels and covered myself up and got dressed as soon as possible. @_@ After coming out of the shower, I made myself some ramen and watched part of "Return of the Jedi." XDDD I've been watching "Star Wars" so much lately... they need to stop playing it on my movie channels so much!!! At least my brother and I had a fun talk on what we would do if we had the Force. I told him that if I met DIRU and I had the force, I'd start unzipping Kyo's pants with my mind. >3 I didn't tell him what else I would do, though. XD And, here I am on the computer. I don't think we're going to go anywhere today, so that majorly sucks. I can tell my weekend is gonna be about as fun as standing in a pile of elephant poop. It's probably gonna go something like this.

The Rest of Saturday
1. Stay on computer
2. Study Japanese
3. Stare at the TV and wish something else were on
4. Eat dinner
5. Stare some more at the TV
6. Go to sleep

Sunday
1. Wake up and want to back to sleep
2. Take a shower
3. Eat lunch
4. Go to the library and want to be somewhere else
5. Come home and stare at the TV
6. Take a shower
7. Eat dinner
8. Stare some more at the TV
9. Go to bed

Fun, fun, fun. Makes me want to stick my head in the oven.
+Momo+
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Friday, February 9, 2007

   @_@ Neeeeee.... kuukiiiiiii....
Current Mood: Happy, but sick
Current Mood: GRIEF by Dir en grey

DIRU in Ontario, Canada

Dude.... I ate too many cookies. I feel sick. X_X Damn thier creamy deliciousness!!! -_-


They're almost as delicious as you, Kyo... (that lets you know that they're damn good!!! :D) *eye twitches* Look at those hip bones... *moans* Okay, maybe the cookies aren't that good. XD

Orchestra was so awesome today!!! We have two teachers, and Mrs. Ross, the bitchy one, wasn't here today~!!! \^o^/ Yatta! So our teacher made a deal with us-if we had a good rehearsal for 45 minutes, he would let us pack up 30 minutes early. And, apparently, we did have a good rehearsal and he complimented us a lot. ^-^ So, I was all happy and I listened to some songs from "Withering to Death" with Storm-and I was able to impress her with "dead tree"!!! I told her that Kyo screamed REALLY well in it, and she immediately demanded to hear it. XD And whenever he did scream, she covered her mouth and started smiling because she was so amazed. I knew she'd love it~! She also wants me to get "Withering to Death" for her. ^o^ Yay!!! I dragged another to the DIRU side!!! >3 In Art we worked on our warrior picture again and about 30 minutes afterwards I was bored. @_@ So I took out my iPod and listened to all of "Kisou", except for the last "[shinsou]". I was a little afraid to listen to "-mushi-", but I really wanted to listen to it. Luckily, I only got a little teary. It's probably because I was around people and I was doing something, so I was able to push back the tears. In Science we studied different types of rocks and I almost fell asleep. I kept on having to pinch and slap myself to keep me awake... I sit in the very front, so I have to pay attention. It was kinda funny, though, because I kept on answering questions and getting them right whenever I was half-asleep. X3 I also had "GRIEF" stuck in my head and I kept on thinking of Kyo's unbelivable sexniess in that PV... I think I may have drooled a little. @_@ In English we made up a rubric for our project... y'know, the one I'm doing on homosexuality? Yeah, that one. XD After that head-splittingly boring assaignment, we watched almost the rest of "To Kill a Mockingbird." I think the book was 20x better than the movie. Although I do love Atticus' voice. >3 After school I gave Storm her jacket back (we switched... she has a ghetto, fluffy, faux fur jacket XD) and ran up back to the tree to talk to everyone. Everyone kept on poking me with a drumstick Storm found on the floor and threatening to hit me with it. For some reason, I'm always the one they pick on. But whenever Stacie stuck the drumstick up my nose (-_-), we fought over it and I won! Haha! She almost broke my fingers, though, and I gave it back. X_X I'm such a wuss. After Anthony snapped the drumstick, Nicole and I ran off before Storm could come back. XD We're such bad friends (but, I did let her wear my jacket today and I gave her a bottle of lotion so she may forgive me -_-). On the way home, Nicole was incredibly hyper and we had a short conversation on how she thinks the guy playing Hannibal in "Hannibal Rising" is hot. XD We're so demented. And she also stuck a leaf in my mouth. ;~; It was nasty... *sniffs* Whenever I got home I saw that Logan (my brother) had broken out in hives. He had felt itchy last night but we thought he just had dry skin. I feel bad now... poor Logan. T~T

Man, I'm pissed off.... I found these really good icons from DIRU's new PV but no one has any wallpapers of it yet. -_- I really want to use them!!! ;o;






Aren't they simply orgasmic? :D


This IS from "GRIEF", but you have to look really hard to see it. XD

Speaking of "GRIEF", I have the lyrics and screenshots for it!!! Yay!!!

***

GRIEF by Dir en grey
Shout up！ That's fucking bullshit
Blood tastes like vanilla

Fuck off
mottomorashii kao shite
azamuku koto shika atama ninai saru
saa moujin ni tou
kotaero

Shout up！ That's fucking bullshit

koukatsu no juu ga narihibiku Headless body,
koukatsu no juu ga narihibiku Headless body,
sousa warai kurue　I'm damned

Fuck off
mottomorashii kotoba de
sukashita kao shite hiteishiten darou
saa kieru jikan da
inoreyo

koukatsu no juu ga narihibiku Headless body,
koukatsu no juu ga narihibiku Headless body,
sousa warai kurue　I'm damned

I say destroy, fuck off
naze da... shinjitsu o kanjizu ni ikiru
doko ni ai ga aru no ka sae--

Shut up！

koukatsu no juu ga narihibiku Headless body,
koukatsu no juu ga narihibiku Headless body,
sousa warai kurue　I'm damned

Shout up！ That's fucking bullshit
Blood tastes like vanilla

***

When I find more, I'll share them too. ^-^

On Sunday I have to go to the library and finish my project. -_- I reeeeeeeeeeeeally don't want to have to waste my weekend on something for school. *sighs* Dammit. At least I get to listen to DIRU to take my mind off it for now. ^-^ Yay!!! Well, I guess I'll see you guys later. Love you~!!!
+Momo+
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Thursday, February 8, 2007

   HELLLLLLLLLZ YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Current Mood: Head-explodingly happy
Current Song:

I am so happy that I could fucking cry. Kayla (lemurturtle) was such a sweetheart and uploaded the MP3s of "THE MARROW OF A BONE" onto her computer and sent them to me. Thank you so much, sweetie~!!! I would sell you my soul, but there's hardly anything left. @_@ Also huge thanks to everyone and anyone who helped me in my quest for DIRU. >3

And how are the results, you ask? Sweet. Oh, so sweet. So sweet that I tried have an affair with my computer. XD Granted, I am only on "Ryoujoku no Ame", but what I've listened to is pure and uncensored love. BTW, has anyone else noticed that Kyo's voice has taken on a rougher tone to it, even when he's just normally singing? I suspect it's from the smoking, throat problems, increased screaming, and possibly a new style he's trying out. But I love his new little scream-squeal thing-y. I giggle everytime I hear it. X3 I'm gonna try to hunt down the lyrics tonight.



Whenever I was searching for "THE MARROW OF A BONE" last night, I stumbled across a picture that's somewhere in their album. So, I'm going to warn you now just in case the American version has it on it too-DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TAKE THE SLIP OFF OF THE CD IN FRONT OF YOUR PARENTS OR ANY OTHER ADULTS. I think it may be just the limited edition, but I'm not sure, but... THERE'S BOOBIES ON IT!!! XD I'm not too suprised at this, I mean, it IS DIRU, the band that created "OBSCURE." But, as you all know, parents can be unforgiving of this. ^^; This, On the cover, there's three pictures of a man's bare chest at the top, then three pictures of a woman's bare chest at the bottom. So, just beware of that. X_X

Here's the picture if you want to know what it looks like.

School was okay, I guess. It's just getting to a point where everyday blends into one grey blur and all I look forward to is getting home to listen to DIRU. It just feels like I'm reliving every single day over and over again and I don't feel alive until I'm doing the things I love. Anyways, Orchestra sucked. Our teacher told us how much we suck more than usual and told us that she's going to start pulling people out of the class for random pop quizzes, and I know that I'm gonna get pulled out of there faster than a kid getting ripped away from a porno. Just fuckin' great. -_- In Art we worked more on our grid drawing of this warrior Leonardo DaVinci drew. @_@ In attempts to drown out the voices of my overly-loud classmates, I listened to almost all of "Withering to Death." I was starting to get pissed in the middle of "Kodou", though, because some idiots were almost screaming and I had to turn it up to hear Kyo's voice over theirs. We all know that you never get in the way of Momo and DIRU. XD; In Science we studied the properties of gems and classified minerals into groups. I kept on thinking of one of my favorite gems, garnet, and had D'espairsRay's "Garnet" stuck in my head the rest of the period. >3 In English all we did was watch part of "To Kill a Mockingbird." From what I've seen, it must have been a remarkable movie for its time. The camera work is better than some of today's movies (yes, I'm a dork, I notice camera work @_@), has excellent acting, and a well-picked cast. And then girl who played Scout is just GORGEOUS. I want to find out what her name is and look up pictures of her whenever she got older-she must have been so beautiful. After school, Nicole gave me the "Taste of Chaos" CD (the only reason I want it is because DIRU is on there... DIRU and Avenged Sevenfold are the ONLY good bands on there) and as soon as I got home, I popped it into my CD player and listened to it, but it turns out, it was just the normal version-I thought it was going to be live. And it kept skipping because there were scratch marks on it. D: That breaks my little heart!!!

Well, I'm gonna leave you guys alone and listen to the rest of "THE MARROW OF A BONE." My parents and I made a deal that they're gonna take me to Hot Topic on the 20th to buy it... and if they won't, I'll walk there myself to get it-even if it IS on the other side of town. T^T I can't wait! SQUEE~!!!
+Momo+
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