Tuesday, January 16, 2007

   Baka desu. -_-
Current Mood: Tired
Current Song: INCREASE BLUE by Dir en grey (MP3 not available-what the hell?!)

I'm really tired, both mentally and physically, so I'm not going to have a long post. I'm just gonna cover what the important things in my day.

-My friend Korki's 15th birthday. I felt bad that I wasn't able to give her anything more than a bad chibi drawing, but, I hope I showed her how much she means to me.
-I'm getting my stitches taken out tommorow.
-My friend is going to download pictures of me onto a CD so I can show you guys my fugly face. Yay~!
-Daniel tried to stick his hand down my pants. Well, actually, he did. He stuck his finger down the front of my pants and worked his way into my underwear. I didn't let him do anything, I was tense whenever his finger was in my waistband. I held his hand to make sure he wasn't doing anything, but I was afraid he would. He kept on telling me to relax and asked me what was wrong. I tried to tell him to stop, but it came out in a whiny, playful way so I guess he didn't get it. He's not a psychic, afterall. -_- I want to tell him that I'm not ready for that, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. I don't know. I'm an idiot. I'm a whore.
-My mom got fired today. That means, both my parents are unemployeed. My dad did get a meager check a week ago from where he still works (although he doesn't get paid), so I hope that the business picks itself up off its feet. My mom also applied for a job a week or so ago, so I really hope she gets it. Whenever she told me that she got fired, I almost cried. I'm constantly worrying about my father and money problems, so now I have to do even more of that. Great.
-Finished my report on Roe v. Wade. Took me two hours, but it's done. Whoo.
-My exams are soon.... and I'm afraid.

Sorry for complaining so much. I have a better life than so many people out there. I just need to shut my mouth. Mata ne.
+Momo+
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Monday, January 15, 2007

   Hyappi!!! :3
Current Mood: Very, very happy
Current Song:

Whooo!!! Thank Kyo, I'm out of school today!!! *dances* Eh... actually, it's more like "Thank Martin Luther King Jr. for ending segregation." ^^; Sorry, Mr. King. But seriously, today is a day to celebrate not just because I'm out of school. This is a day to celebrate a man with a dream who changed the world. A man who made his dream come true, where his children could play outside with white children. Because of Mr. King, people of all skin color can be united and with no resentment (for the most part-unfortunately, prejudice isn't completely gone). Hopefully his dream will become so vibrant that people will no longer notice skin color, and notice the person's character. And hopefully one day people will be united no matter their religion, their belief, their sexual preference, etc. I hope I live to see that day. ^-^

Nothing really happened yesterday except for going to Wal*Mart and watching "Ju-On 2" (which I personally thought was better and creepier than the first :D) and "Crank" (which was FUCKING AWESOME. Go see it. Now.). At Wal*Mart, I had to buy bras (-_- Dear God) but I did get to rape the oriental food section for all it was worth. :D Unfortunately, I was only able to get Pocky (I almost called it "bokki" in the car and giggled myself to death XD). I was going to get kimchi, but it had meat in it so I wasn't able to. Also, I was going to get Sapporo Ichiban noodles, but it has gluten in it. -_- Damn it!!! By the way, the Pocky was delicious. ^3^

Today my brother woke me up around 12:30... for a while I just rolled over and tried to go back to sleep but eventually got up. -3- I sat around for a little while but eventually got hungry so I ate some ramen that I got yesterday. SQUEE!!! ^o^ *hugs ramen bag* Since I didn't really feel like watching TV, I busted out my "5 Ugly Kingdom" DVD and headbanged while eating noodles!!! Whoo!!! I cried during "-mushi-" and "ain't afraid to die", but I can't say that I'm all that suprised. Those songs tear me apart every single time. Those "Akuro no Oka", and "zakuro" kill me. I got a headache from headbanging so hard (especially during "The Domestic Fucker Family"). XD The first time I watched it, my neck hurt days afterwards. @_@ The entire time I watched the DVD, I couldn't help but marvel at how gorgeous and talented every single one of the members are. I gotta rant about every single one of them now. XD

1.) Toshiya- God... where to start? Toshiya is such a talented artist, and can make everyone smile during the most devastating song. His fingers glide across his bass so gracefully and looks just like the angel is. Wheather you play the bass or not, you can't help but admire him.



2.) Die- During the entire DVD I kept on ranting to my brother how awesome Die is. XD Not only is he a fabulous guitarist that can move anyone with his paradoxical playing (by paradoxical I mean soothing and stirring, quiet and vicious, etc.), but he also is a GREAT backup vocalist. He has a subtle voice, but you know that his lurking presence remains.



3.) Shinya- Shinya is the most underappreciated member of DIRU, but he deserves the spotlight. If you were to meet him, you would never believe that he's a rockstar-or for the record, a drummer. He's so quiet and timid, you hardly ever notice that he's there. But as soon as he gets behind the drum set, everything changes. His passion drives him into a rage so strong that you can barely see his arms as he plays. He's a valuble asset to DIRU who too often goes unnoticed.



4.) Kaoru- Kaoru... the leader. The main composer. The glue that holds DIRU together. Never before have I known someone that is so closely tied to music. Every single song that he creates is so delicately written, so haunting, that it leaves an impact that you can never forget. Not only that, but he gets so into the music that I bet the apocolypse wouldn't stir him. He's engulfed by it and it becomes his the very beat of his pulse.



5.) Kyo- Shiiiit... if you guys aren't sitting down already (and why aren't you? o_O), you need to. This is gonna take a while. XD Kyo's voice is phenomenal. I've never heard anything like it before-he can sing you the sweetest lullabye or scream loud enough to wake the dead. He can do so many different things with his voice, that sometimes it makes you wonder if he really is human. Kyo also just completely captivates the audience. Wheather he's just singing, dancing, scratching his chest or arms, or fishhooking himself, you can't take your eyes off of him. He's incredible-he puts so much emotion into his vocals, that it's a wonder how he can fit his voice into such a tiny, fragile-looking body. Not only are his voice and performance amazing, but also, his physical apperance is too. He can look like a prince or a demon-sometimes both at the same time. The way the light dances on his eyes and the sorrow you see in him can bring me to tears. I could go on forever about him.



Ugh... I need to practice my Japanese since I have a day off. Sorry for the rant. XD Mata ne~!
+Momo+
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Friday, January 12, 2007

   Obscene Sister
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song:

Yesterday wasn't all that special, so you guys didn't miss anything. After school, I studied for a test (gasp! Momo never studies!!!), took a nap, woke up to go to my aunt's birthday party, sat at Longhorn's staring at the blood-filled steaks with disgust, came home to save some pictures of Kyo, took a shower, went to bed. Mmmm... exciting. -_- Anyhow, I had a really weird dream. I dreamt that Kyo (it was either after a live or before it) had lit himself on fire and was completely burned all the way up to his chest... and everything below that was completely gone, consumed in the fire. Afterwards he was still alive, but was in terrible pain. His breathing was shallow and raspy, and whenever he spoke it sounded more like gasps than words. It was terrible.

Goddamn. I always have the weirdest dreams.

But I guess what my dream was trying to get across was that I'm afraid that Kyo is going to hurt himself TOO badly one day and may die or severely suffer from it. It may be because I was looking at pictures from the Family Values Tour, and we all know that he has been fishhooking and cutting himself even more lately. Also, he's gotten more tattoos and piercings (in his ears), perhaps an exit for pain. I noticed that he's gotten industrials (bars that go through your ears) and a vertical bridge between his eyes. I wish I could take away some of his pain. He's such a beautiful, heart-felt man... he doesn't need his heart to hurt so badly.


One of Kyo's many demonstrations of self-hatred (you can also see a few of his new tattoos on his arms).


Here's a descent view of his industrial, and you can see a little bit of his vertical bridge.


I know this picture isn't of the best quality, but this one has a better view of his bridge.

Damn... all of this is getting me depressed. How about something to cheer us up, ne?


THAT'S MY BOY!!! XD

Mornings at school aren't as fun without Sydney... yesterday he was suspended for carrying a knife. ;~; So, no more funny remarks in the morning. Just tired, half-assed jokes. @_@ We didn't have to play in Orchestra today so the entire time I mainly read "To Kill a Mockingbird" (I covered 30 pages X_X) and listened to a bit of DIRU. *wiggles* In Algebra we were split into groups again with Emily and Lauren, two cheerleaders who are generally nice (Lauren can be a little snobby, but that's just her way). It's funny... two years ago I would have slammed my head against the desk if I had to work with cheerleaders. Now I'm like "yay! They're nice! :D" Anyhow, after working, I listened to some more DIRU, reapplied my eyeliner (I heavily lined them today-my dad said I looked like a heroin addict XDDD), and filled in my non-painted nail with a sharpie. @_@ In gym we had a free-day so I sat with Chasity and once again read and listened to my music, and studied. Occasionally Chasity and I talked, but we each had our own little things going. Although, something embarrassing did happen to me. There's this really cute Asian boy in our class that Chasity and I call "Flipsy" (once he did a huge flip so we adopted that name for him XD). Anyhow, he stood in front of us with his back turned (I don't know if it was intentional or not) and took off his jacket. I thought a waterfall of drool was gonna spill out of my mouth. XD;;; And, to make it worse, he turned around and saw me eyeing him like a dog in heat. I was so embarassed that I turned away and I think I might have been blushing. Damn those Asian boys... I can't resist them. @_@ Nothing happened in Civics except for taking a test that I've studied like crazy for. Luckily, it paid off, and I got a 100%!!! Whooo!!! I might have been feeling a little confident since I hugged my binder with a picture of Kyo on it and whispered "yuuki kure, Kyo-kun!" ("Give me courage, Kyo!") before taking it. XDDD Once I was done, I had about 40 minutes left during class to do whatever I wanted. I reaaaaaally wanted to listen to my iPod, but I figured that my teacher wouldn't appreciate that very much. @_@ Sooo, I read more of "To Kill a Mockingbird" (my, aren't I original today? XDDD). I had to stay after for about 10 minutes to take a test that I was absent during, but I was still able to catch Daniel. I think things are better between us, because Katie told me that he wasn't cheating on me (she wouldn't lie to me and Daniel wouldn't lie to her), so I feel way more confident about our relationship. He was also more like himself today, so things are less rocky than I thought they were. Yays! ^-^

I've had this crazy craving to listen to "Ryoujoku no Ame" today... in Algebra I was about to go crazy. XDDD I better go listen to it before I lose my mind. Loves~!
+Momo+
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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Mushi?
Current Mood: Depressed
Current Song:

Last night was complete hell. I haven't cried that hard in a while. You see, my dad forgot I was having my moles removed, mainly because my mom didn't want to tell him again because he dissaproved of it in the first place. I told him over the phone and I could see how angry he was just by hearing him. Mainly because I was so stressed out and I was tired from worrying all day, I went to sleep. Unfortunately, I woke up to my father screaming at Mom... I don't think I've heard him scream at her like that. I was half awake, but I still understood what they were saying. I think the thing that scared me the most was whenever Mom said "the doctor said her moles were suspicious!" and Dad replied "I'll show you suspicious!" For the first time in my life, I actually believed that he was gonna hit her. Before I was even awake enough to see anything, tears blurred my vision and I ran to my room and shut the door behind me. Logan (my brother) came in after shortly and tried to comfort me. It hurts so much to know that I, his older sister, can't take care of him. He's seen me breakdown more times than I can count. The fighting eventually stopped... I don't know when, I was too busy crying. But Mom came in and ordered me to stop crying, like she always does whenever I'm upset. Eventually Dad came in and gave me one of his pep-talks that always make me feel better, even though I still don't believe everything he tells me. Like I'm "a good kind", "not responsible for everything bad that happens in the family", "talented", etc. Even though I didn't believe his fake praise, I did find his talk more helpful than Mom's.

Nothing much has gone on today other than explaining people what happened to my face and introducing Storm to Dir en grey (she likes them and has an eye for Die and Toshiya... most people do whenever they're first introduced to DIRU O_o, and her favorite song is "Child Prey." Once again, another popular choice for newcomers to DIRU). Anyhow, I found out wheather Daniel was cheating on me or not. I called him and explained the rumor I heard and asked him wheather it was true or not. I tried to use the calmest voice I could and I told him that if he was cheating on me, I wouldn't get mad... but if he lied to me, I would. He claims she's just an ex-girlfriend that wants to get back together. Needless to say, that really lowered my self-esteem. I'm already depressed about Mom and Dad fighting, so I started thinking about all of my faults and how I probably don't stand a chance against his ex. I'm not pretty, I'm not skinny, I'm not smart, I'm not nice, I'm not talented, etc. I could go on forever on all of the things I don't have... but that makes me feel even worse. I think of all the starving, homeless, diseased, and abused chlidren and feel even worse about myself because of how a selfish bitch I am. I don't know... maybe my mind is diseased or something. I just want to stop crying.
+Momo+
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007

   Threads in my face....
Current Mood: Relieved
Current Song: Gyakujou Tannou Keloid Milk by Dir en grey (MP3 not available-no fair!!! >O)

So, apparently everyone at school yesterday missed me. ^^; Whenever I got to school, everyone asked me where I was and I just looked at them like "you're really asking me that?" I'm notorious for being sick often. XD Whenever the bell rang, my friend Olivia came up to me and said that she had to tell me something about Daniel. She said that Daniel supposedly showed her friend Chelsea a picture of his girlfriend in a city about four hours away from here. I doubted that the story was true, but Olivia said that Chelsea wouldn't lie to her. There are a couple of factors that make me highly doubt this story:

1. Daniel doesn't seem like the type of person to befriend Chelsea.
2. From as much as I know, Daniel wouldn't fling around a picture of his girlfriend carelessly.
3. Chelsea has been know to lie.
4. Olivia has been know to lie.

So, I don't think that the story is true... but one can't help but wonder. And, suprisingly, it didn't upset me as much as I thought it would. I'm actually pretty apathetic about this. Maybe I just don't care as much for him as I thought I did. *shrugs* Anyhow, we got a new piece in Orchestra that's hard as hell. It's le suck. XD But more importantly, something's wrong with Storm. The only thing she's said to me today is "why?" when usually she can't STOP talking to me. I asked her if she was okay and she just nodded. I know she's not okay, but I'm not gonna bug her about it unless she gets really depressed-then I'll have to give her one of my trademark pep-talks. @_@ Algebra was... interesting, to say the least. o_O This guy named Maurice, who sits in front of me, kept on hitting on me and Korki. I tried to ignore it but couldn't help but laugh at some of the stuff he said. Apparently, he thinks I wanted to see his dick, I have "big ass titties", and he wanted to know if I was gonna be a stripper whenever I grow up. -_- I hate to be a bit of a hypocrite (I looooooove me some sex XD), but GOD!!! I wish he would just leave me alone. In gym I mostly talked to Chasity while having to endure the torture of "ultimate frisbee" and "knockout." *eye twitches* It was okay, though, because I got to talk to her (we were talking about our ideal bedrooms and I concluded that mine would have Kyo on the bed begging for me to take him XD). *dances* In Civics I had to sit through a test that I didn't have to take (yet-because I was absent) on the Constitution. *cries* I hate the Constitution. *sighs* Anyhow, we had to do this retarted sheet on where we had to pretend we were grown up and determine our yearly income, the cost of our housing, etc. I really dispised doing that... I don't wanna be depressed about how poor I'll be until I'm actually there!!! As soon as school let out, I immediately ran out the door, got Daniel's phone number, hugged everyone and said goodbye, and had to jump in my mom's car for the dermatologist appointment (for those who didn't read my post yesterday, I had an appointment today where they would remove my moles). On the entire way to the dermatologist's office, I was shaking. I'm not afraid of needles-it wasn't the fact that I had to get a shot that scared me... come to think of it, it wasn't the fact that they'd be slicing off my moles either. I think what scared me most was the stitches. I kept on imagining the thread catching onto something and having them ripped out of my face, along with the whole right side of my face (lovely, right? I have these wonderful little nightmares all the time). Whenever Mom and I waited to go in the room where the procedure would take place, I realized that my hand was shaking and I was close to tears. I was the same exact was in the room, but luckily Mom came in with me and helped take my mind off of the approaching doom (oooooh, drama XD). Finally, they began. The assistant started numbing my moles and the skin around them. I could feel the needle go in, but I didn't really mind. I mostly closed my eyes and tried to sing DIRU in my head (I didn't bring my shuffle because I was afraid that it'd get stolen or broken at school ;~;). Whenever she was almost done numbing me, my mom mentioned that I studied Japanese and the doctor was impressed. ^^; I tried to not laugh or talk at that much whenever she finished cleaning up the blood on my face. Finally, the dermatolist came in and the took an odd pen-looking device to my face. I closed my eyes while they were doing it (as I did with the numbing), and before I knew it, they were stitching me up. During the stitching I finally broke down and cried a little. I felt so childish and stupid for crying just because I was afraid... I hardly understand myself anymore. -_- But overall, the experience wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and the assistant was very, very nice to me. ^-^ I like her. Mom kept on wanting to buy me ice cream for going through the procedure, but I just laughed at her. XD


DIRU!!! How could you not be there with me?! It's okay... still love you, though. T^T

Well, that was my day. Not the best, not the worst. *shrugs* At least I cried over a stupid procedure, and not someone dying or anything. OH!!! Before I forget, I'd like to thank Bou-chan for letting me use this lovely wallpaper that she made. Much love, Bou-chan! Much love!!! Well, I better get off so I can take a nap and call Daniel. -_- I love you-mata ne~!
+Momo+
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Monday, January 8, 2007

   Minikui Sekai...
Current Mood: Sad
Current Song:

Today I am staying home from school because I am a sick little monkey. ;~; I woke up at 5 last night to use the bathroom and I felt like the whole house was spinning and like I was gonna throw up. Whenever I layed back in bed, I felt the same way and couldn't go back to sleep because everytime I put a blanket on (hell, even a SHEET), I'd start burning up. At about 5:45-6, I finally got back to sleep. Mom eventually woke me up at 6:50 and asked me how I felt. I didn't feel any better but I got up and drank some coke to try to help. Ten minutes later my parents decided I wasn't fit to go to school, so they sent me back to bed. I woke up at 10:30 and saw that "Brokeback Mountain" was on. I've wanted to see that for the longest time, and I love the story it's based on. So, I layed down and watched it. Ennis's voice was so low that I could hardly understand him half the time, but I still think they did a good job as casting Heath Ledger as Ennis. I love Jake Gyllenhal, so I think they did a good job with Jack too. :3 But good God, that movie is so fucking sad. I think I sobbed hard enough to make my head explode. Whenever I cry really hard, my face turns a little pink... but whenever I finished watching "Brokeback", I looked like I had a rash all over my eyes, nose, and lips. I'm so glad that I finally got to watch it, but I want to re-read the story so I can remember it better. If you're a fan of yaoi or if you just want to watch a beautiful romance story, watch "Brokeback Mountain." Be sure to bring a box of kleenex, though.



I think the thing that got me the most was that they ruined their lives by keeping their love secret. If they had followed their hearts, Jack and Ennis could've been together forever. They were afraid what other people would think and were afraid that they would be shunned for being with each other. They had nothing to be ashamed of... and so many people should know that. Homosexuals are afraid to reviel who they are to people because they don't want to be reguarded as a "freak of nature" or something of that sort. I can't wait until they day where homosexuals, hetrosexuals, and bisexuals can love who they want without being looked down upon.

Tommorow I have to go to the dermatologist to get my moles taken off. OxO They're not cancerous, but my mom is constantly worried about them and just don't want them to turn into cancer. I have one on my chin, one on my neck, and one on the back of my neck... I'm going to have to have stitches, too. To tell the truth, I'm kinda afraid... the thing closest to this I've had is a shot. -__- And, I like my moles... it'll be weird without them. I dunno. Maybe I just shouldn't think about it. It'll probably help if I bring my iPod shuffle. *nods*


DIRU, tasukete kudasai yo! Kowai desu!!! T~T

Jaaaa... I'm tired and I probably need to start working on my essay for Civics. Ja ne~!
+Momo+
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Sunday, January 7, 2007

   New Site...
Current Mood: Sleepy
Current Song:

Okay, really short update. Kyoko and I made a Kyo fan site on MyO called MercilessXCult. Pleaes join if you want to, but it'll be all about Kyo and nothing else, just so you know. If you want to join the club, please let us know by signing the guestbook, adding us as a friend, and putting a banner up on your site. Further rules and information is there. So, yeah.


Hmmm... Kyo-san. ^-^ *sleepily rubs face on picture*

Goddamn, I'm tired. *lays head on keyboard* lkaeuroieahndlkna lkejoaiw dkajaeeha Mehhhhh... oyasumi nasai, minna-sama.
+Momo+
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Friday, January 5, 2007

   Tanjoubi omedetou!!!
Current Mood: Tired
Current Song: Zomboid by Dir en grey (MP3 not available... perhaps too explicit >3)

Today is two birthdays! Yay!!! Today is Marilyn Manson's AND Miku's (from An Cafe, of course! ^-^) birthday, so everyone dance and get drunk! Uwaai!!! I remembered that it was Manson's birthday in 1st period whenever my teacher mentioned Ohio (where Manson grew up). ^^; And Storm was incredibly dissapointed whenever she forgot that it was his birthday... she screamed "oh, no!!! I forgot my baby's birthday!!!" XD She's so fucking in love with Manson, it's hilarious. Sadly, no one is here to celebrate Miku's birthday with me. So I will dance to An Cafe alone. T^T


Happy birthday, Brian!!! (Yeah, that's right... I called you by your first name. Wacha gonna do now, bitch? >D j/k XDDD)


Tanjoubi omedetou, Miku~!!!

Today was so friggin boring... -_- In Orchestra after we were done playing I got to talk to Storm and agree that we should get smashed for Manson's birthday (although, I detest alcohol ^^;) and stared at ourselves in the mirror and complained about our bodies. @_@ Yeah, we're girls, alright. Algebra was HELL. I did get to sit next to Korki, though... we didn't talk hardly any, though. ;~; She mostly listened to her MP3 player while I read "To Kill A Mockingbird" (I have to re-read it for reading next semester) and stared at the wall. I did occasionally pay attention, but only long enough to get the concept. In Gym I had a nice time talking to Chasity. ^-^ Also, she found a nickle and gave it to me that I name Kyo Jr. XD Most of the time I played Ping-Pong with Susan and Chasity, but we occasionally switched off. Civics, as always, was boring. I'm going to have to study like hell to get a good grade on the exam. Luckily, we're able to do a paper on something we did this semester for extra credit. I plan on doing a paper on Roe v. Wade, a case about the right to have abortions (I wish I could reference "Mazohyst of Decadence" in the paper X_X). I'm against abortions, so I hope I don't start ranting about it... @_@ During a video about credit cards I went to the bathroom and saw Sydney. Whoo!!! We talked for about three minutes. During that time he told me that I looked cute in glasses (I'm wearing my glasses today-a rare occasion) and with my hair up (another rare occasion). @_@ I just laughed at him and told him he was full of shit. XD; I lent Thai one of my Japanese books because he wants to learn kana... it was my first Japanese book, so I hope he takes care of it... it means alot to me. ;~; After school under the tree I only got to talk to Daniel for like 5 minutes, and most of that time, he wanted me to listen to this Red Hot Chili Peppers song (he loves them... everytime I look to see what's playing on his iPod, it's them XD). Hardly any hugs from him today, we didn't get to see each other much. T~T

Apparently I only have a few days to pay for an item on eBay but my gift/credit card can't pay for it. I think I'll have to get one of my friends to pay for it for me and then I'll pay them in cash. -_- Damn gift/credit card.

Ugh... my throat hurts, I have a headache, my monthly visitor came today, and I'm tired. Sorry I haven't posted lately. Baibai~!
+Momo+
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Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Kumori to Ageha no Hane
Current Mood: Pretty (I feel pretty... shut up. XD)
Current Song: (WARNING: This song is 10 minutes long... that's right, 10, BITCHES. Count 'em. XD)

Yay!!! Today didn't suck like I thought it would!!! *dances* I woke up an hour earlier than I usually do because I had to use the bathroom and I couldn't go back to sleep. -__- So in the spare time I had after I tried going to back to sleep, I dreamt of going to a DIRU concert (XD, yes, I know I'm a dork... T^T). I imagined that I was in the mosh pit and I was able to sing and thrash to every single note, every single lyric. Once they were done with their performance, I pushed my way through the pit and was screaming "Kyo-san, matte kudasai yo!!!" ("Kyo, please wait!!!") Eventually after a few fans helped me out in screaming it, Kyo turned around and I crawled over the railing on the stage and held out a single rose for him. He smiled (even though he was covered in blood and sweat ;~;) and told me thank you. I just told him "Iie. Watashi no hiiro desu... Amerika de kite arigatou." (I don't know if I said that right, but I hope I did. X_X Here's a translation: "No. You're my hero... thank you for coming to America.") It made him so happy that I was able to come back stage and meet the band. ^-^ If only that would really happen, I would be the happiest little fangirl alive. *nods*


I swear, this is EXACTLY how Kyo looked in my dream. Maybe a little less blood on his face and more on his chest, but that's how he was. (Goddamn, even with his face pubes he is GORGEOUS. ^-^)

Once I got to school I met up with all of my friends and chased Nicole down and screamed "DEATH, YOU ARE MY BITCH LOVER!!!" (refer to last post if you don't get it) at her. XD After terrorizing Nicole I checked up on Daniel because he looked stoned. He was just tired... poor thing was so sleepy that he almost fell asleep whenever he was hugging me. XDDD; Orchestra was SUPER boring because Storm wasn't there. ;~; Mostly, after we played, I just stared at the wall and let DIRU play in my head. @_@ Algebra... wasn't the best, but I can't complain too much because I brought it upon myself. -_- After about 15 minutes of being bored already, I excused myself to the bathroom and smoked for the first time. You see, I stole a cigarette from my aunt whenever we visited her house on Christmas Eve because I wanted to know what it felt and tasted like. So once everyone was out of the bathroom I went into a stall and took out the cigarette and lighter I found around the house. I had a hard time lighting the cigarette, but after three tries I finally got it and started smoking. It was AWFUL. I don't know if it was stronger because my aunt rolls her own cigarettes or what, but goddamn, was that powerful. I took a small drag and watched the billowing cloud of grey escape from my lips and I could handle the taste, although I still didn't like it. I took another drag until the third one, where I decided to get bolder. I inhaled harder and it felt like someone had shoved their fist down my throat as hard as they possibly could until it reached my lungs. I could take how nasty it tasted anymore and I didn't want another lung-punch, so I stubbed it out on the wall and flushed the remaining cigarette down the toilet. I couldn't get the horrible taste out of my mouth and I searched for a water fountain, but I couldn't find a working one. So, relunctantly, I went back in the classroom. I swear to God, I was soooo fucking paranoid. All I could smell was the cigarette smell on my breath (I couldn't even smell the perfume on my shirt, that was very distinct) and I thought that someone would smell it. Just in case I thought someone would, I told my friends that someone was smoking a strong cigarette and made sure that they couldn't smell it on my clothes since I couldn't. I sat there for about 10 minutes gagging on the horrible taste in my mouth until I finally asked for some gum. Katie gave me some Orbitz gum that's strong enough to drive it out, so I was incredibly happy. I only smoked for about 10 seconds, but I hope that I never do it again. I just started smelling my perfume again about three hours ago but my lungs are still sore from that lung-punch. I can't imagine how dulled my senses would be if I actually smoked the whole thing. o_o Anyhow, enough of this tobacco-talk. After I came back in the classroom I opened my late Christmas gift from Katie and I saw that it was a bath set. ^-^ Me so happy, I've never gotten a bath set before. *dances* In Gym I met up with Chasity and we had so much fun talking. I missed her so badly, Chasity is my security blanket. ;~; In Civics we had two REALLY old substitutes and we had to watch this really crappy movie on Congress. We were supposed to take notes on it, but my mind was so bored that it just shut off and said "fuck this shit." The entire time I passed notes, daydreamed, and drew a little. I'm a bad student. @_@ Up at the tree Nicole had already left for home, so I was said that I could scream at my bitch lover again. XDDD Daniel is getting so affectionate lately, it's like he thinks I'm his little rape kitty or something. XD I'm not complaining, it's actually a nice change. He like holds me as close as I can possibly get and then he pushes my head into his shoulder and hugs on me (it can kinda be uncomfortable, especially whenever he's pretending to shoot a machine gun like he did today XDDD). Katie and Sydney stayed for a long time today, so I got to talk to them!!! *dances* We started talking about "A Scanner Darkly" and how badly Daniel and I want to see it. Apparently Sydney wants to get both of us high and then watch it. @_@ I don't think so... I hate cigarettes and alcohol, I don't think I'll like drugs any better. Katie stood up for me, though, because she said that I was too "innocent" to taint. XDDD She thinks I'm so sweet and innocent... it's hilarious. Once Sydney and Katie went down to talk to Stacie, Daniel started hugging up on me again. Except, this time, he got a little TOO friendly. _-_ I won't go into too much detail, but I pouted at him after I shoved my hand away from me and I think he got the picture. I don't blame him, though, I can lead on.

Kyaaaa... I have "MACABRE -sanagi no yume wa ageha no hane-" stuck in my head. I fucking LOVE that song. It's so beautiful, so mind-bending, and so dark. Everytime I listen to it, I can lean my head back and just picture a story in my head. Kyo's voice is just stunning and takes on so many forms that it blows my mind. Kaoru's guitar solo chills you to the bone, Toshiya's bass is morbid and haunting, Shinya's drums resonate deeply into the corners of your mind, and Die's supporting guitar just brings a whole other dimension to the song. I can go on for forever about it. XD; Here are the lyrics:

MACABRE -sanagi no yume wa ageha no hane- by Dir en grey (translated by centigrade-j)
You want to spread your wings and fly,
dreaming of the swallowtail butterfly.
you would seem to suit your shed skin......daydream
hit by the pounding rain, you couldn't move anymore
you're just waiting to become food....my mouth opens.

you're almost ready to take flight, so close to sprouting wings.
still my adorable pupa, you are now... an adult aren't you ?

sucking the honey, you who loved the flowers
don't notice me as my beak comes at
you blooming all over with fogura and escargot.

dear pupa, show me tainted wings.
I felt them flitting... from my stomach.

castdown, suddenly shaken, you're broken apart,
your wings tear off
Does a snakeskin suit you now ?

spinning you spin and spun,
through a life of the same old same old.

turning you turn and turned as you melt away, .
Shall we blend together into one ?

surely you're swimming the digestive juices like a mermaid,
surely a pupa will sprout wings like a swallowtail butterfly.

IF its you I'll allow it,
even if you are a cruel thing.
You forgot my legs on the ground
Don't leave them like that Ok ?

***

...um, there's supposed to be a DIRU pic here, but I can't open my Photobook account because it's loading so effing slow. ;~; I'm sorry. Here's a crappy, low quality picture of a cupcake:

Um... There you go. *pats head*

Mouuuu, I love my iPod shuffle. ^x^ *huggles shuffle* I get to listen to all of my DIRU. *dances* Oh!!! Speaking of J-rock, Miyavi is thinking of making another band!!! :D He's gonna return as a guitarist and back-up vocals. He's not sure who's all going to be in the band, but I can't wait until they come out. This makes me feel better about Phantasmagoria disbanding (even though I am a little emo monkey everytime I think of it... ;~; visit my post 2 days back for details), so me's happy. :3 I better get off, I've been doing this post for a while. Mata ne~!
+Momo+
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Monday, January 1, 2007

   Akemashite omedetou gozaimasu yo!!!
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: Rasetsukoku by Dir en grey (MP3 not available... I guess it's just too intense. XD)

Hello everyone, and happy New Years!!! This post is just covering what my New Years Eve consisted of. I got up around one and messed around in my house, took a shower, listened to DIRU, etc. until my dad came home from the gym. We went out to eat at this nummy italian restaraunt called Gondelier's (I think that's how you spell it... >_o) and had an eggplant parmesean sub. ^3^ After lunch we went to Blockbuster to rent some movies... Mom and Dad got "You, Me, & Dupree" and I got "Pulse" (the original Japanese version, not the American remake). Once I got home I called Nicole since she had left me a message that sounded distrought and lonely. ;~; Once I called her I asked her why she couldn't go to the movies with me yesterday (we had planned on going to see "The Grudge 2" at the crappy old movie theater I live near)... it turns out she got grounded because the internet company she has somehow got her name and address and sent her a bill. o_O Weird. But Nicole and I talked for a while then she asked if I could stay over for a few hours. We asked our parents and they all agreed it was cool with them, so I packed up a few movies and books (some Japanese slang books to giggle at XD;) and went over to her house. Once I arrived we went straight to her room and started watching TV. XD; We talked for a little while about our iPods (she got a nano for Christmas, I got a shuffle) and I let her listen to part of "Deity" and she thinks I'm on crack. XD We searched through the movies I brought and what she had in her room and she decided that we had to watch "Wedding Crashers" since I had never seen it. And I have only four words to say:

OMFG. I LOVE TODD.

XDDD My favorite part has to be whenever Christopher Walken is talking about him and what kind of art he makes and then all of the sudden Todd just screams, "DEATH, YOU ARE MY BITCH LOVER!!!" XDDD Pure genius. After watching that and a little bit of TV while talking, we were called to dinner. We had pizza and some tasty fresh vegetables. :3 So tasty, I'm getting hungry thinking about it. XD Afterwards we headed to the computer room Nicole set me up with a LiveJournal account. I still need to sort it out, though. @_@ After I made the account Nicole checked some of her stuff and made a few new accounts too. X_X I listened to my shuffle while she screwed around on the computer, so my little black heart was content. ^-^ After all of that, it was about 10. O_O So I called my mom and she picked me up half an hour later. Once I got home I talked a little with my parents before watching some of "Seinfeld." :D I fucking love that show. XD; Once I watched the episode, I went in my room and started to watch "Pulse." It took me a while to get into it since I kept on pausing every 5 seconds to write something in Japanese. XD Finally I put down my pen and paper and tried to honestly watch the movie. I didn't think it was all that scary, more creepy, but I REALLY liked the movie. I think that and "Audition" are my favorite J-Horror films. And "Infection" is a guilty pleasure of mine. XDDD; When I finished the movie, it was like around 2 in the morning. XDDD Oops. ^^; I watched a little bit of "Star Wars: Episode 2, Attack of the Clones" while looking over my Japanese notes before I went to bed.


Awwww... look at the little girl and how happy she is. Yay for Oshougatsu!!! ^o^ (BTW... does the kanji on the left say "kakizome"? I can read the kanji for "kaku", so... @_@)

Well, I hope everyone had a good New Years. I feel guilty for not sticking to a Japanese tradition, but maybe I'll have better luck next year. *shrugs* I did pray for my resolutions and resonate a gong sound in my head 108 times before I went to sleep. OH! I just remembered, Miyavi is back in Japan, just in time for Oshougatsu. Yay!!! ^o^ Well, this post turned out to be a whole lot longer than I intended it to and I'm starting to get hungry. -_- Mata ne~!!!
+Momo+
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