Friday, December 29, 2006

   KUSOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Current Mood: Furious
Current Song: ZOMBOID by Dir en grey (I'm not going to post up the MP3 because, trust me, you won't be able to enjoy the song after you read this.)

GODDAMMIT!!! Ugh!!! I am so pissed off... one of my favorite bands is disbanding. Phantasmagoria is disbanding because Kisaki, their bassist, is accused of tax evasion. He hasn't payed millions of yen because he wanted to use the money on "promoting their band." Stupid fuck!!! Not only is Phantasmagoria affected by this, but so are a whole lot of bands that he helps manage like 12012 (noooo!!!!! T~T), Kodomo A, etc. I've respected Kisaki for being a big influnce in music in the Kansai district, but this act of stupidity has obliterated all of that respect. You can find more information at lemurturtle's site:

http://www.myotaku.com/users/lemurturtle/

or at Mainichi Daily News:

http://mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp/national/news/20061222p2a00m0na004000c.html

I don't know what members of the band are leaving, but either way, I really don't care. Phantasmagoria isn't Phantasmagoria without all of the members. I knew Kisaki was selfish and stuck up, but I didn't know he was an idiot too. I am so pissed off right now. God... stupid fucking Kisaki. -_-


Kisaki is the man on the second from the left, as you can clearly see. If you see him wandering around the streets of Japan in rags and going back to his cardboard box, pick up a rock and throw it at his head. For once, I'm not kidding.

I feel sick now.
+Momo+
Comments (3) | Permalink

Thursday, December 28, 2006

   Uwaai~!!!
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: -kigan- by Dir en grey (MP3 not available-BOO!!! That sucks!!! >O)

Konnichiwa~!!! How is everyone today? ^-^ As you can clearly see, Momo-chan is happy to be out of school and not having to suffer through Algebra. :3 On my days off I've been messing around with my Christmas gifts and watching TV-a rare thing for me.

I got an assload of awesome gifts for Christmas. I got "Japanese for Busy People: Revised Edition: Book #1", "A Guide to Reading and Writing Japanese", "Oxford Beginner's Japanese Dictionary", "Bass Guitar for Dummies", a manikin that you can position for drawing, "WarioWare Twisted" for the GBA, "Guitar Hero II" for the PS2, $50 in giftcards to Best Buy, $35 in giftcards to Target, a statuete of an angel, a tiny Mickey Mouse snow globe, tons of clothes, an iPod shuffle, $20, issue 21 of "Gothic Beauty" magazine, and a Badtz Maru stationary set. This from all of my relatives, but damn!!! I feel bad for them spending all of this money on me. ;~; Especially my parents, since my dad has been unemployed since July. I've been playing "WarioWare Twisted" so much that I have to charge my GameBoy once a day. XD Addicted, much? I'm really happy with everything I got and I already planned what I'm going to buy with my giftcards. ^^; Also, I plan on putting *almost* all of my money on a Visa giftcard so that I can buy tons of DIRU stuff off of eBay. And all together, I have over $120. XD eBay will love me. Speaking of which, I got "Kisou" the day after Christmas! It's a good thing I was asleep whenever my mom threw it at me, or else I would have been screaming at the top of my lungs. XD But I love it with all of my little black heart, and I am happy that I have all of my stuff from eBay now. ^-^ The only thing that I didn't get that I REALLY wanted for Christmas was a naked, crusified Kyo moaning my name and begging me to take advantage of him. T~T I shouldn't be greedy, though. *sobs*


^ That's all I wanted for Christmas!!! *cries*


And maybe a little bit of that. ^ XD

So, how was everyone else's Christmas?

I don't mean to be the typical, needy, teenage girlfriend, but I'm going to be... Daniel hasn't called me yet and I REALLY want to do something with him this weekend. *sighs* If I don't, I think my head is going to explode.

My God... I'm clingy. -_-

Mouuu, I love my iPod shuffle. It's filled with tons of DIRU songs. ^3^ It's better than sex (without a DIRU member, of course). XD *cuddles iPod shuffle*

I haven't done a whole lot of stuff over the week except for spoiling my diet with candy and Nana's cookies (although, strangely, I haven't gained any weight even though I haven't been exercising), listen to "Kisou", stare at the phone (XD), practice Japanese, and play video games. :3 So, I've had a really good week. I don't want it to end. ;~; The only thing I haven't been able to do this week is sing on my karaoke machine (I'll only do that if no one is home) and look at yaoi since Dad is staying home. But I'm not complaining, I'd take no yaoi and no karaoke over school any day. ^-^

Eto... I don't have anything else to say and I have a strong craving to listen to "Pink Killer"... oh, yeah... and I guess I should eat. XD Mata ne~!!!
+Momo+
Comments (3) | Permalink

Saturday, December 23, 2006

   Eto.... @_@
Current Mood: Bored, but happy
Current Song:

Konnichiwa, minna-san!!! Ano... I figured that I probably won't update tommorow and the day afterward (obviously), so I figured I'd wish everyone a merry Christmas before hand if I'm not able to before hand. And I'll probably update by then, but if not, happy New Years too. :D

Today has been pretty nice... nice, but boring. My parents went Christmas shopping at noon so they woke me up then. After I woke up a little while I took a shower and practiced singing "24ko Cylinders" then sat down with some pizza and ate "Yo Momma." I'm suprised that I've lost so much weight already, considering that I still eat junk food. Whenever I weighed myself this morning, I had lost 2 more pounds!!! That's about 12 pounds total!!! :D Me so happy. ^3^ After watching a little bit of "The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy" I got on eBay and checked out some of the stuff at this J-rock jewelry store that I visit all of the time. I swear to God, one way or another, I WILL get that model of Kyo's ring from "Jessica." I will. *eye twitches* I've had a good time listening to Gazette (I'm having a love affair with "Filth in the Beauty" >3), D'espairsRay, and (of course) Dir en grey. I need to listen to Rentrer en Soi and Kagrra sometime, I feel so bad for abandoning them. T~T Poor things. *huggles* I was gonna read some yaoi but Mom and Dad came home and I don't think they'd enjoy coming home to their 15-year-old daughter reading "boy secks", as Nicole calls it. XD; We're thinking of going to see a movie sometime today but I just wish Daniel would call me. I'm so pathetic, I've had my cell phone in my pocket for 3 days straight, hoping that he'll call. XD That's sad.


Gazetto desu~! (Awww... look at Kai-kun. ^//^)

Egh, my throat hurts and my neck feels like it did the day after the Nine Inch Nails concert I went to in May. XDDD; I think I'm gonna do something useful and practice Japanese or exercise. Mata ne~!
+Momo+
Comments (1) | Permalink

Friday, December 22, 2006

   Mwaaaaaaah...
Current Mood: Achey
Current Song:

OMFG... oww... my neck hurts so much from headbanging from about 2 hours straight to the 5 Ugly Kingdom DVD. XD But none the less, it was TOTALLY worth it. It's 20x better than the "MACABRE 00>01" DVD, and I love that damn thing. The performance was amazing, everyone played their heart out, the picture and sound quality was amazing (I felt like I was really there), the extras were brilliant, and I was totally inspired by it. BUY THIS DVD IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO-YOU WON'T REGRET IT.


Kyo will use his amazing hyponotizing powers to get you to buy it!!! He commands you!!!

Ow... I gotta lie down now. I think I need a neck brace. XDDD
+Momo+
Comments (3) | Permalink

   OMFGLKUAEIAJNTNRIJELEA?~!*!@^&!~!!
Current Mood: Hyper/Excited
Current Song:

OMFG, MY 5 UGLY KINGDOM DVD FINALLY CAME!!! I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY!!! I STARTED SCREAMING WHEN IT CAME IN THE MAIL!!! MUST WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
+Momo+
Comments (2) | Permalink

Thursday, December 21, 2006

   Finally...
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: by Marilyn Manson

Finally, it feels like Christmas. I'm so happy, but I guess it took a while. *coughs*4daystillchristmas*coughs* @_@ Anyhow, today was wonderful. Before school started Chasity saw me and gave me my present, a black pleather wallet with white stars on it (that felt like crushed leather... I LOVE that feeling, but I hate leather, so that makes me uber happy) filled with one black necklace and one green necklace. It's soooo cute, I love it. ^-^ And she liked my crappy handmade gifts I gave her-a pair of pink flower earrings and a blue bracelet. It's too big for her, though, so I'll have to get Mom to fix it. -_- In Orchestra we practiced a few songs before we went onto the balcony in the gym and got ready to play for an assembly. We practiced a little and listened to the chorus (which was BEAUTIFUL) before people started to come in. I was so sad because I wanted to sit with Chasity, Daniel, and Stacie. I saw all of them and I wanted to jump off the balcony and fling myself onto them. XDDD; After the assembly we had to go to 2nd period, which had the time moved to still have the same amount of class. -_- But it was alright because I got to talk to my friends and they gave me a whole bunch of cards and we didn't have any homework! Yay!!! :D I did eat too much candy, though (I haven't ate candy in a while, too), and I felt sick. @_@ In Gym we had a substitute so we didn't have to do anything. Chasity and I sat down and talked and showed each other what we got. She got this perfume from Victoria's Secret called "dream angels: heavenly" and it smells soooooo good. It also came with this awesome lotion that feels like powder once it's rubbed into your hands and smells JUST like the perfume. It also came in a cute little tote bag. :3 I'm thinking of going to Victoria's Secret to buy me one. XDDD In Civics I talked to Thai and Korki a whole lot, which made me happy. The only thing that spoiled my mood was that I saw "fuck n-----s" in the textbook I was using. I'm not black, I'm actually white, but I still take HUGE offense to the "n" word. It hurts me so much to know that there's so much hate in this world that is born so young. It kills me, and I really wish that people would stop and think about what their words mean. On a lighter note, I had the BEST time at the tree today. ^3^ Daniel hugged up on me more than usual and stroked my hair. ^//^ I gave Nicole her present (a scarf, hat, and bracelet) and she wore all of it. XD She gave me a diary that has Jack and Sally (from "The Nightmare Before Christmas") on it and comes with an uber cool Jack pen. :3 I immediately jumped up and down and hugged her. XD; Everyone kept on slapping my butt, though... I don't know why. -_- Oh, that reminds me!!! Storm brought some lacy underwear so I put them on over my pants. XD Everyone was starting (y'know, who wasn't at the tree) and Kala had to take a picture before I took them off. XD Then Daniel said something to Stacie (I forgot what it was @_@) and she hit him in the nuts with Storm's violin case. Everyone kept on telling her that it was "mine" or that I "needed it later." X__X I think it was "torture Becky day" at the tree because everyone started tickling me, kicking me in the ass, smacking my ass, and giving me a wedgie (that was after Daniel left... and they gave it to me in the front AND the back ;~;). @_@ And one time Daniel even held my arms behind my back while they tickled me!!! T^T Meanie. But he did ask for my phone number so he may call me to see if we can do anything this weekend. I hope we do so we can be alone... I HATE kissing in front of people. -_- Nicole's Mom's boyfriend, David, eventually came to pick us up. When I got home Logan (my brother) gave me a present from Taylor... a card, $10, and a $10 gift card from Hot Topic. @_@ It made me feel so guilty because he's my ex-boyfriend... and then he wrote something in Japanese on my card... I'm still trying to translate it, but I'm afraid to know the meaning. -_-


I need to watch that sometime!!! Along with "The Grinch." >3

Meeehhh, I'm sooo hungry. I ate a of tortilla chips but I guess that wasn't enough. Probably because I didn't eat since 9:30 the night before. @_@ Well, I love you guys! Mata ne~!
+Momo+
Comments (1) | Permalink

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

   DIE-SAMA NO TANJOUBI!!!
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: Irresponsible Hate Anthem by Marilyn Manson

YAY!!! Today is Die's 32nd birthday!!! Yay~! *dances* To celebrate his birthday I plan on listening to some songs he composed, singing happy birthday to him (yes... even though I know he can't hear me @_@), and eating some type of sweet to celebrate. Everyone celebrate, for today is the anniversary of the birth of a god. :D


Goddamn, he's so pretty... @_@

God... Daniel has been such a good boyfriend. I know we've only been going out for about a week, but he makes me feel special, even though we don't talk as much as some other couples. But the way he holds me, pushes my hair out of my face, holds my hand, and "awww"s whenever I feel upset just makes me feel wanted. I find myself glancing at the clock, impatiently waiting for the next time I get to see him. I don't know... maybe this attraction is physical, or I really do have this connection to him that doesn't really need words. Either way, I like how I feel right now.

Since my mom had to take both my brother and me to school today (we go to different schools, he's still in middle school), we had to go early so she dropped me off about 25 minutes earlier than what I'm used to. @_@ It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but I still wished my friends would've come to school earlier. I was lonely... especially waiting for Daniel. ;~; *sighs* It was only me and my Japanese book. XD In Orchestra we only played two songs... the rest of the time we had time to do whatever the hell we wanted. >3 So, of course, Storm and I talked. She had this assload of sharpies and she wanted me to write some Japanese lyrics on her arm, so I wrote parts of "The Final" and "DRAIN AWAY." ^-^ Algebra sucked, and I didn't really pay all that much attention although I understood that, so I was happy about that. I mostly thought about how I wondered if Die was having a good birthday and I how I may be too wrapped up with Daniel. -_- In Gym we went to the computer lab to do this career explorer thing and it said I was fitted for a whole lot of the jobs I want to do whenever I grow up. We also had to rank the top three out of our list that I wanted to do, and luckily my three dream careers were there. Here's my picks, in order:

1. Musician (my ULTIMATE dream job)
2. Translator (what I want to do if the Musician thing doesn't work out... my back-up job)
3. Psychiatrist

Yay!!! :D In Civics we watched a video and talked some more about economics. I really don't understand why I do so well in that class, I ultimately dispise anything that deals with history, civics, or economics. X__X After school I met up with everyone at my locker (they seem to do that a lot since my locker's near the entrance of the school), then went up to the tree as always. Daniel sat down and a bookbag was sitting beside him so I had to sit between his legs... he like shoved me against himself. XD Nicole kept on pissing me off because she kept on "awww"ing and talking about how cute we were. -_- Damn her.

Ummm... I guess I need to figure out what I'm going to make my friends for Christmas since I don't have any money. Maybe I'll just make some origami or something out of hemp. @_@ Mata ne~!
+Momo+
Comments (3) | Permalink

Saturday, December 16, 2006

   Tanjoubi Omedetou!!!
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: engirys cimredopyh +) an injection by Dir en grey

This is going to be a short post, but I still need to put it up.

Happy birthday to both Bou-chan and Sydney!!! Today is Bou's 15th birthday, and Sydney's 17th birthday (the first thing he said to me is "one more year until I'm legal. Yes!!!" XD). I hope they have a good one. ^3^

Today I'm going downtown with Nicole, so yays!!! About half an hour until I go too... better get something to eat. >o> Tanjoubi omedetou to ja ne~!
+Momo+
Comments (5) | Permalink

Friday, December 15, 2006

   Mondai nai yo!!!
Current Mood: Relieved/Happy
Current Song:

Minna-san, genki? Last night was fun because I put conditioner in my hair and it felt so soft (I rarely ever put conditioner in my hair... usually like once a month), and I kept on stroking it and touching it. I felt like Shinya. XD

"Kakkoii desu. *kaminoke wo sawaru*" XD

I had the worst dream last night. I dreamt that Millie, my cousin's baby who was born about a month ago, died. It was so terrible, I started crying whenever I told my mom about it. Whenever I got at school I was so tired, I thought I was gonna pass out. Whenever I got back from my locker, I met up with Daniel and everyone else and I thought I was gonna fall asleep on him whenever he was holding me next to him. XDDD Eventually I layed down on the ground but he started fussing at me that I didn't know what was on the ground and that I needed to get up. I wouldn't so he yanked me up. ;~; I wanted to sleep. Whenever the bell rang and we went to our classes, he grabbed me and kissed me right in the hallway whenever people were trying to get past us. @_@ I accidentally said "love you" whenever I left (y'know, like whenever you leave your friends... it just slipped out), so I was freaking out. -_- I told Storm about it but she told me not to worry about it, that he would probably forget about it, and that it wasn't as serious because I said "love you" instead "I love you." In Orchestra we played a new piece that I really liked. ^-^ After we played, Storm kept on stomping on my ass whenever I was trying to sleep because she wanted to talk to me. XD So, I talked to her even though I thought I was gonna pass out from exaustion. @_@ In Algebra I wanted to take a nap but we took this super-hard test that I wanted to blow my head off from. In Gym we went to the weight room and I got back to crack a few times from doing abs exercises. @_@ Afterwards Chasity and I talked for a little while, especially about this commercial I saw that asked "would Jesus shop at Wall*Mart?" XDDD In Civics Thai made me laugh so hard because he was making jokes about "chinchin" since he asked how to say it. XD It was so funny, though, because he makes random things up and asks if they mean anything in Japanese... today he asked if "asoko" meant anything. XD I totally freaked out and started blushing and saying "asoko... is the female... bad part." @_@; It was really fun, though, because I got to talk to Thai and DaVario a whole lot. :3 Up at the tree I met up with Stacie, Daniel, Bobby, and Devon. Daniel immediatly kissed me and hugged me. X_X Eventually Syndey came up and was carrying this itty-bitty guitar and I started laughing hysterically at them, especially since I have a bass. We all started about talking about "Guitar Hero 2" and all this shit then. XD I'm so happy because my grandma is getting me "Guitar Hero 2" for Christmas. *dances* After Daniel hanging onto my waist for a little while, he pulled me close to him and french kissed me. X_X My hair and his hair was over our mouths so it got in our mouths (ewww!!!), but it was still nice. Whenever everyone left Daniel and I sat down at the trunk of the tree and started talking a little. I think it's nice that we can talk more openly with each other now, and I feel safe whenever he holds him close to me now. We kissed a few more times and we decided that we we're going out now. So, yay, I don't feel guilty and like a whore now, although I still kinda am. -_- Ahhh, I just listened to Evanescence's live performance of "Lithium" on "The Late Show with David Letterman." Amy's voice is soooo beatiful... I wanna listen to "The Open Door" again but "MACABRE" calls. @_@

***

"Lithium" by Evanescence
ithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Oh, but God, I want to let it go.

Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone.
Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show.
Never wanted it to be so cold.
Just didn't drink enough to say you love me.

I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.

Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.

Don't want to let it lay me down this time.
Drown my will to fly.
Here in the darkness I know myself.
Can't break free until I let it go.
Let me go.

Darling, I forgive you after all.
Anything is better than to be alone.
And in the end I guess I had to fall.
Always find my place among the ashes.

I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.

Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, ...stay in love with my sorrow.
I'm gonna let it go.

***

Ahhh!!! Such a beautiful song! I love it! ^-^

By the way, happy early 16th birthday, Bou-chan!!! I'm sorry if I don't get to update tommorow to tell you that, but I want to give you naked Shinya in a box. XD


There you go, hun. X3

Meh, I better call Nicole back since I said I would. Ja ne~!
+Momo+
Comments (3) | Permalink

Thursday, December 14, 2006

   Confusion...
Current Mood: Confused
Current Song: egnirys cimredopyh +) an injection by Dir en grey (MP3 not available)

I guess I should offer an explination for yesterday. @_@ Things have been going on between me and my friend Daniel lately. He's been kidding that I'm ho and still, and putting his hand around my waist, but I thought it was all fun and games... but I guess not. Once everyone left two days ago, Daniel and I were the only ones left. He sat down at the tree trunk and held his arm out like he wanted me to sit beside him. I did, and he put his arm around my shoulder and we talked for a while before he lifted up my chin and looked at me. I eventually got so embarassed and shy that I dug my face into his shoulder, and he laughed at me because I was so embarassed at kissing. Eventually his ride came and he left, but I couldn't sort out my feelings. My friends Storm and Stacie were asking what was going on and I told them that I didn't really know. Because, to tell the truth, I didn't. The rest of the day, all I could think about was trying to figure out what WAS going on between me and Daniel. Yesterday before I left the tree to walk home, out of instinct, I grabbed him and kissed him before walking off with Nicole. I don't know why I did it. I don't know if I should've done it. But I did, and there's no going back.

This morning whenever I was talking to Sydney, Katie, Nicole, Devon, and Bobby, Daniel wrapped his arm around my waist and asked me what yesterday was all about. I told him that I didn't know and I guess he wanted me to kiss his since he put his face so close to mine, so I did. He laughed and told me that I needed to work on my aim. @_@ In Orchestra we played a new piece that was fairly hard and got on my nerves. After we finished playing, I rushed over to Storm and asked her if I did the right thing in kissing Daniel. She asked me some questions, and then eventually told me yes. I just hope she was right. In Gym we played this retarted game that was a cross between baseball and dodgeball. -_- I really didn't want to play, but I had to. Bleh. Afterwards, I sat down with Chasity and talked to her for a while. She really likes "Berry" (by Dir en grey, of course) so I'm thinking of burning it off of "Macabre" for her. :3 Good thing she doesn't know what the lyrics mean. XD During lunch Sydney and Katie got to sit with us and we talked about all of our normal stuff. But Katie and Sydney did ask me about Daniel, and I told them that I honestly don't know what's going on between us. Katie thought it was nice and everything, but she told me that if I do go out with him I should be careful because he's VERY sexual. o_o All I know is that I'm going to give it up to him. I'm not like that... although I may have kissed him, I'm not some hussy that everyone can have a go at. In Civics we did the same old boring stuff, but I did get to work in a group with Thai. He's so adorable. ^-^ After school, I went up to the tree and Daniel immediately came up to me and wrapped his arm around my waist and asked "have you worked on your aim?" then kissed me, but his hair was over his lips so he pushed his hair and my hair out of the way and kissed me again. @_@ Storm and Stacie saw us and started "awww"ing and doing all of this dorky shit. XD; Afterwards I started talking to everyone else while Daniel kept on holding me close to him. Eventually we had to leave, so I kissed Daniel again-for the fourth time that day. -_-; I honestly have no idea if I've done the right thing, if this is going anywhere, if this means anything, or what. All I've known is that I've gotten myself in this, and I have to deal with it, one way or another. Yesterday I got my "MACABRE" CD, and I looooooove it. Whenever I was listening to "zakuro" today, I fucking LOST it. The pain in the song is so intense, that it I makes me want to just lay on the ground and sob. Whenever Kaoru started playing the guitar solo, tears started streaming down my face. Every not that resonated from his guitar was so beautiful, so haunting, that I just couldn't hold it in any longer. Then, when Kyo started singing again (especially whenever he kept on singing "hai ni naru", I started sobbing so hard that I got a headache and I felt like I was the one in the song. Because everyone knows that Kyo can make me start crying in a matter of seconds. It made me cry so hard I got tears all over my homework. @_@

***

"zakuro" by Dir en grey
I screamed out your name
even my voice will probably never reach you
but you know, now I'm ok with that.
some day in my heart you'll be...

I'll dream tonight, dreams of you.
because of that letter I put under my pillow
my dreams are too cruel, my breath is cut off
i always painfully awaken at four in the morning

time is too long
time is too painful
the dreams don't stop
love freezes to death
on a cold night
on this long night

my consciousness splintered and powdered
memories scattered about
holding your ring so tightly that my tears wet the pillow

so i couldn't hear it, i blocked my ears to your voice
one more scar added to my wrist
melting into the wound... you

i am breaking burning the letter its reduced to ash
i am breaking destroy my heart its reduced to ash
i am breaking losing you i love you.

***


"Hai ni naru..." (Okay, I know this picture is from "THE FINAL", but I really like it. -_-

Ahhhh, my back hurts and I'm hungry. -_- I better go fix it before I die. XD Mata ne~!
+Momo+
Comments (3) | Permalink