Wednesday, December 13, 2006

   I Wanna Be An Anarchist, Too..
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song:

Today has been a really good day, except for my back hurting. Kissed a boy, got my "MACABRE" CD, and I just feel happy.

Happy 42nd birthday to our late hide-sama. We all miss you dearly, and thank you for the great things you have done for music. May you rest in peace.


R.I.P., hide.

I feel like listening to some X-Japan or hide in hide-sama's memory. I wish I could go to Japan and pray at his grave today. ;~; Mata ne~!
+Momo+
Comments (7) | Permalink

Sunday, December 10, 2006

   Yaoi... -3-
Current Mood: Relieved/bored
Current Song:

I come with some good news! My friend will probably be released from the hospital tommorow, so I'm extremely happy to see that she recovered so fast. Hopefully she'll be fine and realize how many people care about her and that harming herself isn't the answer.

Just so you guys know, I have no intent on suicide or self-harm. It's just that whenever I fall, I fall HARD. I can be the happiest person on the earth sometimes... and others, I can be the most depressing person you could ever dream of being around. Please don't let your thoughts of me be obscured by yesterday's post, I DO think that the world is a beautiful place... but at the same time, the people in it can be ugly, too. Everyting and everyone, in my eyes, is a walking paradox. We are beautiful and disgusting. We're kind and cruel. We choose who we want to be, and yesterday I chose to be ugly. Cause, c'mon, let's face it, we can't always see the world through rose-colored glasses.

Today has been boring... -_- My parents woke me up around 12:30 today and I swear, my look of hatred could've scared Kyo. ^^; I threw myself onto the couch in the living room and woke up by watching "Breaking Bonaduce" with my family. Honestly, I don't understand why the document his suffering and display it for the whole world to see. It's heart breaking. After I had waken up, I watched the latest episode of "Celebrity Paranormal Project." I love that show, VH1 can be a kinda dirty pleasure for me. ^^; After watching that, I sat down and read my "Trigun" manga I found last night after scrounging around in my old manga box. I decided to give my manga collection to my brother since I'm not using it anymore. I took out the ones I wanted ("Trigun, DNAngel, Chobits, and Princess Ai"), but I'm still probably gonna steal "Ruroni Kenshin" and "Hellsing" back a couple of times. ^^; I was shocked at all the "InuYasha", "Yu Yu Hakusho", and "Shonen Jump"s I had lying around... I'll probably find more if I try hard enough. @_@ After reading about two chapters of "Trigun", I went on eBay and looked at some of the new stuff the put up for a little while. My dad left for the gym after about 20 minutes later so I decided to get some ramen since it was 3 and I still hadn't eaten any lunch. Goddddddd... I want some yaoi. BAD. I haven't watched or read any yaoi OR yuri in a couple of months. I neeeeeed it. ;~; Sad thing is, I probably won't be able to read any until tommorow because my mom is watching me like a hawk and keeps on harping on me that I need to get off the computer. -_-

I need to check out "Loveless" sometime. Kemono-san wa.... totemo oishii desu yo. XD;



Ugh... I need to go. Maybe I'll just write a NarutoXSasuke, SasukeXItachi, or SesshomaruXNaraku doujinshi (which is funny, because I don't like "Naruto" or "InuYasha" all that much anymore ^^;) or write a june and be happy with that. -_- Mata ne~...
+Momo+
Comments (3) | Permalink

Saturday, December 9, 2006

   Reality is cruel, isn't it?
Current Mood: Better than nothing
Current Song:

I'm better about what happened last night, but still not perfect. I've had friends who've tried to commit suicide, I used to try all the time, and I'm just used to the idea of people taking their own lives because they can't bear the decay of the innocent world they used to know. When we were children, everything was so beautiful and carefree. But as we grow older and closer to the inevitable fate that awaits us, we see the growing rot of this piss hole we disgusting excuses for humans live in. We critize each other. We make each other bleed. We laugh at other's pain. We kill each other. We tear each other apart. Everyday, I see someone eating another person's heart. Slowly devouring the soul that festers beneath the surface. The pain, the suffering, the HELL we put each other through is simply revolting. I want to throw up on all of humanity. See if it'll make it prettier. Maybe they'll just be happier if I feed them my blood. Fuel their hatred.



Today has been all right. I woke up around 10:30, worked on some Japanese and got dressed since I (worked out hard last night to try to kill away the pain and already) took a shower last night. I eventually fell asleep watching "Viva la Bam" and woke up around 2. I put on my shoes and went to go eat lunch at Arby's (bleh -_-) with my family. I had their deep-friend cheesesticks and felt like someone had tried to drown me in oil. I went to TJ Maxx to try to find some Urban Decay cosmetics but could only find two lipgloss tubes, but wasn't what I wanted. I saw some perfume that I wanted (mostly a rose perfume and "Curious" by *eye twitches* Britney Spears), but I don't want to spend my money because I'm saving it for my current eBay obsession. Once I saw that there was nothing there that I was going to buy, I went to Circuit City where my brother and Dad were and played a little "Loco Roco." That game made me WANT to buy a PSP... and that's saying alot considering how disgusted I am at the crap they call games they're putting out for it.

Mmmm... I don't think I'm gonna really do anything else today. I feel really crappy since my dad told me I was bad friend yesterday, my friend tried to kill herself yesterday, and I was once again reminded of the rot of the society I live in. Maybe DIRU will help. Hopefully.
+Momo+
Comments (2) | Permalink

Friday, December 8, 2006

Kotoba...
Current Mood: Sorrowful
Current Song: None

People must not know how much words hurt. One of my friends, I won't tell who, is now in the hospital. The past can be so painful. Why the hell do humans tear each other apart like this?

The world is such a disgusting, filthy place.
+Momo+
Comments (2) | Permalink

Thursday, December 7, 2006

   Tsumannai...
Current Mood: Bored
Current Song:

OMG... last night was wow. XDDD My family stayed up and watched the episode of "South Park" where Cartman pretended he was "Dog the Bounty Hunter" (my family watches "Dog" all the time, so we wanted to watch it), and it was sooooo raunchy. I didn't know that it was also the episode where Ike and his kindergarten teacher had an affair together. XDDD Everything was going alright (my mom was horrified, but that doesn't take much) until Cartman said "you get a bonus, slap her titties around, stick it in her and pee." My dad flew himself off the couch, slammed himself on the ground, and laughed so hard that my ears started to hurt. XD; I haven't seen my dad laugh that hard since when he first saw "Anchorman" and the woman screamed that the Black Panther cologne smelled like Bigfoot's dick. XD; God, it was so raunchy that I started blushing and Mom was so shocked. Honestly, you'd think she'd never seen "South Park" before. @_@ But a word to the wise-DON'T watch that "South Park" episode with your parents. I learned that the hard way. -_-

Today has been soooooo boring. My brother stayed home sick and I haven't felt the best either. I don't know if it's my allergies, but my nose wouldn't stop running today. -_- In Orchestra my teacher was being a real bitch and snapping at people as soon as they came in the door. I don't know what her problem is, but I'm getting real tired of it. We played for about an hour before we got to pack up our instruments, and I studied Japanese from my favorite Japanese book "Everyday Japanese." ^-^ Algebra, as always, was frustrating and boring. Therefore, I took two naps and only woke up when we had to do work (I was still semi-consious). The sad thing is, I still understood everything... the book is a better teacher than the actual teacher is. In gym we went to the computer lab to look on a college website (my school is trying to encourage people to go to college)... I was gonna look at DIRU pictures, but teachers were swarming around me. -_- Damn teachers. We eventually had to go back to the gym and I tried to take a nap (heyy... I like my sleep, shut up -_-) but I couldn't because I got all paranoid that a basketball was gonna hit me. So, once again, I studied Japanese and I talked to Chasity a little bit. Civics was... scary, to say the least. You see, a lawyer came in to talk to us about the historic development of the United State's current law... and he was REALLY passionate about it. So passionate, in fact, that he'd practically scream and he'd twitch and throw his arms up in the air so much that it seemed like he was having a seizure. O_O I was trying to listen to everything he was saying because we were being graded on writing stuff down about what he said, but I was afraid that he was gonna hit me so I couldn't really concentrate. Eventually he stopped talking and we watched a video and it was so boring that I layed my head down and dreamed of ways for Kyo to keep me warm (in non-perverted ways, mind you... mostly XD). O//O After what seemed forever we got out of school... but whenever I left the classroom, the teacher stopped me and said "what did you think?" like he expected me to be really enthusiastic about it. I told him I thought it was pretty interesting (I was interested in the Greek and Roman parts the lawyer was teling us about, but everything else was BORING), so I was semi-truthful. XD I hate whenever teachers ask my opinion... I feel so bad whenever I display false enthusiasm. -_-


*SQUEE* I feel warmer already. XDDD

By the way, happy birthday lemurturtle and Karyu (from D'espairsRay)! Hope both of you have an awesome one!!! :D


Happy birthday, Karyu-san!!! ^-^

I don't feel all that good today... I hope I can still exercise. ;_; Maybe I'm just sad that I don't have my DIRU stuff from eBay yet. (Oh, yeah! My mom said she'll try to cash the checks I got for my birthday, $70, onto my online gift card so I can buy more stuff off of eBay!!! :D Yay!!!) It better come soon or I'll have to take a gun to my head. XDDD Mata ne~!
+Momo+
Comments (4) | Permalink

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

   Wrist Cut Show
Current Mood: Happy, but cold
Current Song:

OMFG, it's so collllllllllldddddddddd... ;~; I'm wearing a jacket, gloves, and my Tinkerbell slippers. I was thinking of putting on my Cat in the Hat beanie too. XDDD This is gonna be a short post because my fingers are stiff from the cold and nothing really has gone on lately.

Um... a guy likes me but whenever we went on a date (it was more like a "test drive" @_@), on Saturday and again on Tuesday, he barely said anything to me. Chasity keeps telling me he's shy (she's his stepsister), and I think shy boys are cute, but I'm not about to date him until I know more about him.

I won the "MACABRE" CD I was bidding on. :D It was a total of $7.99 WITH shipping and handling. I did a little happy dance after I got it. XDDD I wish I had bid on stuff before, though, because I only have $4.47 left on my gift card and I wanted to buy "six Ugly"... wait... no, I'm bidding on "Geisha" by Liza Dalby now, so I have about $0.10 left. O_O Damn. -__-


WHAT I'VE BOUGHT:

"Kisou" (I found out the meaning of the kanji today. Yay!!! :D)


"(The Final) 5 Ugly Kingdom"


"MACABRE"

WHAT I WANT (BUT DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY CAUSE I SUCK):

A model of Kyo's ring from the "Jessica" PV


"six Ugly"


"The Code of VULGAR[ism]" (you can't really see it, but the title's there XD)

I lost two more lbs., totaling up to 5 lbs. I still feel (and am) fat. T~T

Someone signed my guestbook and called my site creepy. XDDD I love whenever people do that, it gives me an odd sense of satisfaction. XDDD;

The Kyo daydreams are coming back. X_X I made the mistake of watching a few Kyo fanvideos and... just watching those hips sway... and those seductive dances... @_@ He can do amazing things, especially considering that he's currently in Japan. AMAZING THINGS. XD;


@_@ Good lord...

This post sucked... I'm really sorry. ;~; It's just that it's so cold and Kyo-fantasies have taken up about 75% of my brain (the remaining 25% is reserved for Japanese ^-^), so I can't really focus. Oh, God... I gotta go. Another dream is coming on. XDDD Mata ne~!
+Momo+
Comments (5) | Permalink

Monday, December 4, 2006

   eBay Madness... *twitches*
Current Mood: Excited
Current Song:

Yay!!! I'm so happy!!! ^o^ I've been surfing around eBay for the past two weeks and so far have bought two items-Dir en grey's "Kisou" CD and 5 Ugly Kingdom DVD. One of the sellers e-mailed me and told me that she received my payment and that I should get 5 Ugly Kingdom soon!!! Yay!!! *dances insanely* I'm currently bidding on "MACABRE" and hoping that I win it... I want it soooo bad... *sniffs* Momo needs some DIRU-lovin'. *hugs imaginary Kyo-plushie* And I was bidding on a ring that looked exactly like Kyo's in Jessica, but someone outbidded me and I can't bid any further. T~T Damn. I'm telling you, if I had enough money, I'd buy soooooo much shit... they had a model of Kaoru's guitar and Toshiya's bass!!! Now Die's guitar model is the only thing on sale, but it's still kickass. ^-^

Ohhh!!! Anyone who plays any instruments and wants to learn how to play some DIRU songs, they have some score books for about $15, which is HUGE. Usually they run for $40... so, buy it dammit!!! Buy it!!!! XD Also, they have a photobook ("Dragonfly") and one of Kyo's poem books ("Zenryaku, Ogenki desu ka?...") for about $30 each. Which once again, is AWESOME because they normally are around $60-80. I wish I had more money..... T~T


Buy it!!! Or I'll get Kyo on you!!! XD

Um, I'm sorry for the rambling post. I just want my DIRU stuff. *shuffles* I NEED it. o_O
+Momo+
Comments (4) | Permalink

Friday, December 1, 2006

   Juunigatsu desu yo!!!
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: 1996 by Marilyn Manson (MP3 not available)

Last night I didn't get to exercise because my ankle hurt. -3- You see, I exercise by playing DDR, so my feet are pretty important. *sighs* I feel fat now. *sobs* T~T

It's the first day of December! Whoo!!! One of my favorite months AND Die-san's birthday is coming up!!! ^o^ Yay!!! *dances* Anyhow, today was nice. In Orchestra we debated over what Christmas pieces to play and we eventually frustrated our teacher so much that he told us to pack up our instruments. My classmates don't know when to shut up and and my teacher doesn't know how to be patient. -_- I had a half hour of freetime, so I, guess what? Studied Japanese. XD In Algebra I was happy because I actually got how to do something the first time in that idiot teacher's class. Yay!!! :D In Health we had to present our projects, so we did, and it suprisingly turned out well. I thought we would screw up because we kept on giggling while we were rehearsing our skit... but I guess it didn't help that I had my jacket hanging on my head and had little hands sticking out of the sleeves and said I was a happy penguin. X3 Hopefully we got a good grade. ^-^ In Civics we had to draw something that represented a subject we received. I got "Due Process and equal protection"... I eventually just ended up draw chibi. XDDD; We got out of class early to go to an assembly welcoming back a teacher from serving in Iraq. I was happy that he was back and unharmed... I mean, I don't even know him, but the more people out of Iraq, the better. I got to sit with Bobby, Stacey, Devon, Nicole, Katie, Storm, and Daniel so I was really happy. I didn't mean to be disrespectful, but I did daydream a little during the assembly... a certain dream about Kyo in his "Ryoujoku No Ame" outfit. @_@ (For some reason, I get so turned on by that outfit XDDD) At the tree we got to do our normal pervy stuff... y'know, talking about virginity, how cherrys are popped, how fake porn is, and American flags being put down the front of someone's pants. *ahem* X_X Oh, oh, oh!!! While Nicole and I were walking home, I saw the BEST road sign EVER. *clears throat* Are you ready?

"SPEED HUMP"

XDDD Nicole and I started howling with laughter whenever we saw that. We need to take a camera with us on Monday to take a picture of that and a stop sign that says "all way"... we plan on taping "the" above it. X3 Also on the way home, I slipped on some wet leaves and fell HARD on my ass. People are gonna think I'm a drunk if I keep on falling as much as I do. XD


I suddenly have to watch the "Ryoujoku no Ame" PV. XD;

GOD!!! The perviness! I want it to go away! Usually I just keep all of this locked up in my head but now it's pouring out like an open sess pool of filth. *sighs* Damn it.
+Momo+
Comments (1) | Permalink

Thursday, November 30, 2006

   Kagome Kago No Naka...
Current Mood: Pervy
Current Song:

Hello, everyone. Last night was reeeeeally nice. ^-^ My family ate dinner with my grandpa at a local restaraunt since Grandma had gone to church and he was lonely. We went to a Mexican restaraunt and I had a bean burrito. :3 Then beans had a really pretty color, that I wanted to keep pictured in my mind. It was like blue-grey-purplish, the perfect color of a bruise. I wanted to paint with it. XDDD Hm, bean painting. I'm gonna have to do that sometime. >3 I also bought DIRU's "Kisou" eBay I plan on getting it in about a week! *SQUEE* Aaaaaand, I lost 3 pounds since I've been exercising and eating more healthy (which has been 1-2 weeks! :D). Yay!!!

Once again, today I was incredibly lazy. I wore my favorite bandana (a bandana from Japan with maneki neko on it :D) around my knee since there's a whole in the knee of my pants and I pinned my Happy Bunny pin "I like it sloppy and weird" on it so it wouldn't fall off. In Orchestra we played two Christmas pieces before we stopped. O_O! So, I had an entire hour to do whatever the hell I please. I, you guessed it, studied Japanese and took a half hour nap. It would have been longer but some idiot kept on screaming at the top of their lungs. -_- In Algebra I struggled through boredom and frustration and finally got a descent hold on what we're doing. Our teacher is so crappy that I actually have to figure it out for myself whenever I don't understand something. -_- In Health we had two ladies talk to us about HIV/AIDS. I didn't get too sad because they talked more about how to prevent it than statistics, thank God. I would start bawling if they did. Butttttt, some of my classmates learned that I'm not as innocent as I may seem. They were asking why you have to hold the tip of a condom whenever you put it on. No one knew the answer so I reluctantly raised my hand and told them that it's because the semen pools there and everyone was like "Rebecca! You know some shit!!!" -//- I shouldn't have answered. And I also found out that semen is ejaculated at 35 miles per hour!!! XD That's sooooo fucking raunchy but funny at the same time. Eventually, I got a cute little red ribbon that I put on my NBC Jack sweatshirt. :) In Civics we played a little review game, which tells me that weren't going to have a test soon, probably tommorow. *sighs* I hate tests. But I did get glue, and I put it on my arm, which I love doing. :D The only set back is that it takes a really long time to dry and it looks like someone... um... did something BAD on my arm. @_@ At the tree everyone was making fun of my arm and threatening to lick it off and telling me to stay away from Kyo. XDDD; Nicole also pushed me a little so my arm bumped into my chest and I screamed "man, you got glue on my boob!" Sydney then volunteered to lick it off. @_@ They also made fun of me by telling me that if anyone but on a Kyo mask and wore leather pants I'd rip off my clothes and molest them. ^^; Needless to say, they went into great detail and made me jump up and down and sqeal. XDDD


*eye twitches* Goddamn you, Kyo.

God, why am I such a perv this week? Maybe my hormones are just going crazy. God, let this pass. It's bad when you're starting to get on your OWN nerves. -_-'
+Momo+
Comments (3) | Permalink

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

   Foocha!!!
Current Mood: Content
Current Song: (by Dir en grey)

Oh my god... last night I was so furious, I thought I was going to explode. I was reading info on the members of DIRU, and I was all happy until I read Die's information. It turned out that he used to have an eating disorder because some "fans" were calling him fat. I knew that he used to be SUPER skinny and that he ate less than he should, be I didn't know that it was because of some "fans." I was so shocked that I actually yelled "WHAT?!" I may not show it, but I care about every single member of DIRU. I admit that I give more attention to Kyo, but I love every single member with all of my heart. Die is SUCH a beautiful man that he's taken my breath away on several occasions. To even think that his opinion of himself would be obscured by some idiots' rude (and UNTRUE!!!) remarks just breaks my heart. I'm incredibly happy to know that he's gotten over that stage, but I'm still sad to know that he had to suffer through it.


We love you, Die-san!!! ;o;


Once again, today was pretty nice, except for the morning. -_- My mom was driving me to school while filling out a picture form, while a policeman was in front of us. It pissed me off and frustrated me soo much. She's a terrible driver, she could've gotten a ticket, and I wish she would just use some common sense sometimes. -_-' In Orchestra, it turned out we weren't doing anything once agian. @_@ So, I studied my Yonkyuu guide and then slept the rest of the time. I had a REALLY nice nap, about 30 minutes long (at least), but I woke up because I was cold and people were being loud. ;~; For some reason, I turn cold as ice whenever I go to sleep. It's scary. O_O In Algebra we did the same old shit, boring me out of my mind. I did get to talk to Katie, though, so that made me happy. ^3^ In Health we worked on our project on eating disorders and went outside and walked around the track for about 20 minutes. So, Chasity and I got to talk a whole lot. :D In Civics we worked in groups answering a sheet asking questions about our community. None of my friends were in my group, but Korki was right beside me (in the next group) so I got to talk to her. It mainly just consisted of her screaming "aho!" and "baka!" since she wanted to impress me with her Japanese skills (she wants me to be her Japanese teacher once I'm fluent XDDD) and me squealing whenever she poked me with a pencil. Oh, yeah, some guy asked me if I knew what a scrotum is. -3- I just looked at him like he was the biggest idiot on the whole earth and said "yes." God, I hate idiots. After school I went up to the tree with Stacie and for some reason she said that I didn't love her and so I chased her around trying to hug her but I ended up falling on my ass. XD; Katie and Sydney were coming up so they just said "Becky, are you okay?" Later on Katie told me that I looked so innocent but I was anything but. XD Oh, yeah!!! Nicole also told me that I have super Asian hair!!! :D I almost sqealed in happiness whenever I heard that. @_@ But them agian, she tells me that I have squinty Asian eyes too and that I belong in Japan. ^^; I haven't had any daydreams about Kyo today! I had a little glimpse of one but I pushed it out of my head, so I got to consentrate today. ^-^



Meh. I gotta go play some bass and listen to DIRU. I need it!!! Mata ne, minasan~!
+Momo+
Comments (3) | Permalink