Tuesday, October 31, 2006

   Happy Halloween!!!
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: Doll Dagga Buzz Buzz Ziggety Zag by Marilyn Manson

Is it just me or does it not feel like Halloween to everyone else? Anyway, to keep the spooky feeling up today, I lined my eyes REALLY heavily and put dots around my right eye. I would have done my makeup like in "A Clockwork Orange", but I didn't have any fake eyelashes. Then, I put on lipstick like Kyo's the in Macabre era. I got a few weird looks and "what the fuck"s, but I thought it was funny. I only felt bad because whenever I was putting on the makeup, a mentally challenged boy passed by me and stopped to stare. I wanted to ask him if he was okay, but his teacher started fussing at him and to get away from me. They feel so isolated, they just are curious. I felt terrible... I'm still thinking about it. Nothing really happened today, except in Health (we switched back from gym, thank God). We were talking about suicide and watched a movie about it. I'm really uncomfortable in situiations like that because I used to be a HEAVY cutter and severely depressed and suicidal. I guess I got a little fidgety and I'm the only "goth" girl in my class, so the teacher started hovering around me. I wanted him to leave me alone, but that would be rude and obvious of why I was upset. So I just shut my mouth and got over it.


This is how I did my lips. ^^

I don't know if I'm gonna do anything for Halloween other than dress up like a geisha (a really, crappy, gaijin, nasty looking geisha with a crappy yukata, makeup, and kamigata) and go to my grandma's church for a while. Afterwards I may go home and watch scary movies while my brother's out trick-or-treating. And if it doesn't upset me too much, I'll do a Wiccan ritual for All Hallow's Eve honoring my dog who died a year ago, along with "dead" links (like, cutting off my bond with people). Yeah. Well, have a happy Halloween, everyone. Don't eat too much candy or Kyo will eat you for it. XD


"I'S GUNNA EAT YOU!!!"

+Momo+
Comments (3) | Permalink

Monday, October 30, 2006

   Survey-thingy
Current Mood: Bored
Current Song: Cage by Dir en Grey

I'm bored, so here's some random survey I found on the internet. Enjoy. XD

***

What is your name?: Rebecca
When is your birthday?: October 26th
Weight: O_o Forget it.
Eye colour: Brown
Wish your eye colour was: Green or Blue
Languages: English and a some Japanese
First j-rock band: Dir en Grey!!!! :D
Are you under the influence of any medication?: Vitamins, wellbutrin, and paxil
Any convictions?: Love for all things Japanese!!! ^o^
What is your occupation?: Student, obsesser, loser, etc.
Are you single?: Yes. -_-
Any disabilities?: Other than being an idiot, no.
Got insurance?: Um... I'm 15. @_@
Where in the world do you live?: America, dat's all I say. T^T
Any surviving family members?: Um, yeah, a lot.

SECTION 2- LOOKS
Any scars?: I got cut on an amusement park ride when I was 10, scratch marks, and cutting scars
Any piercings?: No, but I plan to get some when I'm 18. :3
Eye colour?: Brown
Height? 5'4
What colour are most of your clothes? Black XD
Any jewelery? I usually don't wear any jewelry other than my turtle necklace. ^^
Any broken bones? Nope.
Any horrific body part mutations?: Well... there's that thing growing out of my neck called a head... *thinks*

SECTION 3- FAVOURITE STUFF
Favourite band?: DIR EN GREY!!! ^3^
Favourite TV program?: Invader Zim, Family Guy, Robot Chicken, Beavis & Butthead, etc.
Favourite film?: Man On Fire, Unleashed, Anchorman, Saw (1 and 2), Dodgeball, etc.
Favourite actor?: Uhhh... Johnny Depp? XD
Favourite actress?: I don't know...
Favourite food?: Pizza, ice cream
Favourite drink?: Coca-Cola *drools*
Favourite word?: Amber, sakura, and some others. XD
Favourite smell?: Vanilla and rose

SECTION 4- YOUR HOUSE (ASSUMING YOU HAVE ONE)
What colour is your room?: White
Any posters?: Yeah, a few.
Do you have a mini bar?: Ewww, I don't like alcohol.
Any skeletons in the closet?: *shifty eyes* No...
TV in your room?: Yeah, but I can only watch DVDs on it.
Psychotic garden gnomes?: No, but I have lots of stuffed animals. :D *hugs Shinya and Tooru bear*
Stupid hats?: XD I have a Cat in the Hat beanie
Air raid shelters?: No, but I probably should.
Where is your computer?: In the living room
Where do you keep your stash?: Stash? Of what? o_o

SECTION 5- OTHER PEOPLE
Who would you most like to...(right now)?
Drown?: No one (against violence *hippiness*)
Cut into little pieces and serve to their family as brunch?: No one
See naked?: O//O I... um.... KYO. XD
Feed to starving dogs?: No one
Have sex with?: I... *looks around* KYO!!! XD
Resurrect? hide, Kami, and Edgar Allen Poe
Make famous?: Dir en Grey (well, more than they already are)
Make king/queen of the world?: Kyo and me XDDD (poor Kyo)
Drive insane?: George Bush, Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden... *continues to rant off*

SECTION 6- YOUR PAST
Answer yes or no
Have you ever...
Faked your own death?: No. XD
Plotted an insurance scheme and got away with it?: No, but thank you for the idea. ^^
Danced to a Westlife song?: Westlife song? o_O
Drunk bleach?: Not yet. XD
Dyed your hair?: Twice. ^^
Hacked onto someone else's website account and messed it up?: No, but I haven got on someone's website account
Raided a bin?: Bin of what?
Lied to get yourself out of trouble?: Too many times. -_-
Faked an illness to skip school/work?: Yes, but I get sick a lot.

SECTION 7- YOUR INTELLIGENCE
Name...
President of the USA?: George W. Bush, unfortunately. -_-
Prime minister?: Prime Minister of where?
Winner of Big Brother 3?: Eww... I don't watch Big Brother.
Capital of Luxembourg?: I'm sorry, I don't know where that is. -_-
Milkman?: I don't have one, but I would love one (even though I hate milk) XD
Happy man in a red suit comes round at Christmas?: Sandy Claws :3
Person that sung "Born in the USA"?: I've never even heard of that song... o_O
Person that played the lead role in Mary Poppins?: O_O Scary lady.
Two members of 90s grunge band, Nirvana?: Curt Cobain and some other guy...
All 4 members of boy band Blue?: Who the hell is Blue?!

SECTION 8- WEIRD
Complete these sentences
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch...: Lassie XD
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall...: then fell down and broke his balls
Merry Christmas and a...: unemployment check
Hit me with your rhythm stick...: spank me XDDD
Little Miss muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her...: pet kitty. o_O
There's a land far away where nobody goes...: called Ohio. XD
You're exasperated, this D-generation...: Take the sleeping pills and shut up
We should kill him, would be thrilling...: cause we all hate him
We ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare...: I have a bad body image
These are my salad days, slowly being...: eaten alive

Finally... (Pick one)
Death/ life/ birth= Birth
Bacon/ sausage /egg= Egg
Duck /duck/ goose= Goose
Osama/ Adolf/ Saddam= None, thank you.
Judas/ Satan/ Jerry Springer= Jerry!!! XD
Knife/ fork/ spoon= Spoon
Glass/ china/ wood= China
Strawberry/ blackcurrant/ orange= Strawberry
Dot/ dash/ zigzag= Dot
This Survey/ Death/ Flowers= Flowers

***

Dinner time.
+Momo+
Comments (4) | Permalink

Thursday, October 26, 2006

   It's My Birthday, I Can Cry If I Want To.
Current Mood: Content
Current Song: Rock is Dead by Marilyn Manson

So... it's my 15th birthday. @_@ Everyone has been freaking out about it, except for me. I mean, it's nice and everything, but I'm not as happy about it as I used to be and I feel kinda bad for all the money and presents. Last night my parents gave me an early birthday present, "Johnny the Homicidal Maniac: Director's Cut", since my birthday's on a Thursday. I read to Issue #3, so I's all happy. :) Jhonen Vasquez is such a genius, all though so many people make the mistake of overlooking it. If you read JTHM and take the time to really think about it, it can have a big impact on your life. I read it 2 years ago, and whenever I seriously think about life my mind always goes back to some of Johnny's theories. I would love to meet Jhonen and have a conversation with him. ^3^


Jhonen!!! ^o^

Whenever I woke up this morning, my parents were all happy and saying "it's your birthday!!!" and I just looked at them and drank my orange juice. XD I don't think MY birthday is all that special, and it feels like a normal day except that I get presents. >3 Before I went to school, Mom gave me a liscence plate purse that I've wanted for forever. I hugged her and loaded all my stuff into it, although my pencil and pen weren't able to fit. ;_; I still loves it, though. ^^ *hugs* I went to school and took the field test for the reading segment, which only took about half an hour since there were only 40 questions and it was so effing easy. @_@ Afterwards I practiced my Japanese on a spare sheet of paper they gave to us and took a nice nap. ^^ After that, I talked to my friend Chelsea for a little while before we were sent to 1st period, which is Orchestra. We played a few pieces, and I was better than usual, which made me feel good about myself. After that, they sent us to 3rd period (no Algebra, bitches!!! >D), which is Gym. Chasity saw me and gave me a birthday present of $10 and a cute little card made out of notebook paper that said "Hope it's the best one yet! I wanted to get you Kyo, but this was the best I could get. Happy Birthday!!!" XD It was so sweet... I tried to give her back the money, but she wouldn't take it. -_- We spent the entire time watching people playing Ping-Pong, playing Ping-Pong, and talking. It was nice, but I can't wait until we get to go back to Health class on Tuesday. -_- In Civics we had to take this vocabulary test with 150 words that I studied my ASS off for, and I never study. -_- I'm glad that I did, though, because it was REALLY easy and I was the first person to finish. :D I had the rest of the time to study my Japanese and daydream. ^^ Whenever the bell rang for school to let out, I went to my locker and my friends latched onto me. Nicole, Stacie, Devon, and Bobby all sang "Happy Birthday To You" at the top of their lungs in the hallway. I just laughed and covered my face, I was so embarassed. Whenever I got home, Daddy gave me 3 Marilyn Manson CDs!!! I was so happy!!! He gave me "Mechanical Animals", "Anti-Christ Superstar", and "The Golden Age of Grotesque." I sqealed whenever I saw them and hugged him, Marilyn Manson is one of my all-time favorite artists. In fact, I'm listening to "Mechanical Animals" right now. :D Whenever Mom gets home I'll get more presents and then I'll go to Nagano (a Japanese restaraunt, not the actually place XD) and have a nice dinner with my grandparents and aunt. :D So I've had a pretty good birthday, and I'm happy. *does happy silly monkey dance* Yay!


Yay! ^^

Ummm... I guess I'll go away and listen to more Marilyn Manson. Yeah. @_@
+Momo+
Comments (12) | Permalink

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

   Kuso!!!
Current Mood: Annoyed
Current Song: Shokubeni by Dir en Grey

Since Friday, I've only got a three bruises from dropping a 100 lb. weight on my legs. I must say, I'm pretty upset about it. The bruise on my thigh is about the size of a quarter and is a grey-purple-greenish kinda thing. The bruises on my knees are kinda greenish-brown. Is it wrong to want really sick looking, painful bruises? O_o

The only thing that's really happened since yesterday is that Melody PMed me again, and we're kinda carrying on a little conversation. I try to keep it as brief as possible. Just because she broke my heart and spit on it, that doesn't mean I'm not trying to be polite. I just wish she would leave me alone, it hurts far too much to even think of her.



Orchestra was pretty bland, but the teachers are all uptight about the pieces because a whole lot of the students are going to New York and the pieces aren't perfect. In Algebra we reviewed over a quiz we did yesterday and worked on a new skill we have to use. I didn't pay a whole lot of attention, but instead worked on a short story I'm writing about a girl raped by her father and everything. I don't know why I started writing it, I just came up with the idea one day and I've become sort of attatched to the main character. In Gym we didn't do a whole lot... I just tried to take a nap and then played a little bit of Ping-Pong with Chasity. It was my first time playing Ping-Pong and the ball was so freaking light that I kept on overhitting it. I felt so bad about Chasity having to constantly get the ball, that I gave the paddle to Susan. At lunch, a new kid sat with us, and he was pretty nice looking. XD I feel so shallow... but he wasn't bad on the eyes. In Civics, we took notes, helped Thai review for a test, work on my story, and took a test that I didn't know about until the beginning of class. I missed about 8/45, so I'm kinda upset. I wish I had done better. T~T But this guy named Ray who sits beside me said "Rebecca, Thai likes you." I was afraid that I might have blushed, but I just said "no he doesn't!" I'm pretty sure that Thai just thinks of me as a friend and nothing more. Besides, who would like ME? I'm sure he could get some pretty Hmong girl to be with him and make him happy. I'm not even sure if I'd really get intimate with Thai if we did go out... I can't really see us doing anything more than kissing on the lips (not making out). I'm just overthinking this. @_@


This is how cute Thai is. XDDD

Last night I had a dream that Areina-chan came to visit me, and I was so happy. Am I really that hungry for true friends? ;_; I gotta go study for the million tests I have the next three days. @_@ Mata ne.
+Momo+
Comments (9) | Permalink

Friday, October 20, 2006

   Ouchies
Current Mood: Exausted
Current Song: RED... [em] by Dir en Grey

Nothing really went on today... just dropped a 100 lb. weight on my legs. X_X You see, we have to go to the weight room every Friday in gym, and I decided to do leg presses. Some meathead bastard left his weights on the machine afterwards, so I had to take them off and I am weak, weak, weak. I took a 45 lb. weight off with difficulty, and reached for the other one, which was the same size. Unfortunately, once I took it off, I figured out that it was much heavier than I thought it was. I held on as long as I could to it and tried to put it on the ground, but I ended up having it smashing against my legs and slamming onto my feet. I rolled it off my feet and put it against the wall, and smashed against another weight and made a large clanging sound. I kinda giggled "shiiiiit", trying to shake off the embarassment and pain. Luckily, this boy in my class helped me roll it to the wall and I thanked him while still laughing a little. I lifted up my pants and had a streak of purple running down my legs from where the weight hit me. @_@ Now I just have a some red spots on my legs, and my knees are a little weak. Damn.
+Momo+
Comments (6) | Permalink

Thursday, October 19, 2006

   Puratonikku Hajimemashou...
Current Mood: Cold
Current Song: Filth by Dir en Grey

I just found that I got a PM from Melody. Doesn't she know that it hurts just to hear her name?

Nothing really has happened lately. The most exciting news in the past two days is that I picked up Vivian (my bass-get used to me calling her that XD) and played her for the first time in a long time, and it felt WONDERFUL. Whenever a single note resonates from the string and rings in my ears, I feel a sense of accomplishment knowing that I did it with my own hands. I'm trying to play Vivian at least four times a day, for half an hour. I love the feeling of playing an instrument. ^^ Also, I decided to try to kick the habit of biting my nails and grow out my pointer and middle fingernails on my right hand so I can use my fingernails as picks (reason why: love playing with my fingers, but love the sound of playing with a pick). Yesterday I went to ceramics with my mom and started painted a box with a fairy sitting on top of it. It's suprisingly bright for me, but I still like it. I painted the box lilac, the fairy's dress turquoise, the flowers on her dress pink (yes, pink... O_O), her skin pale, and I plan on painting her hair a dirty blonde. It's alright looking, but I wish the colors were lighter. ;_; Also, yesterday I checked out the ex-J-rock band Kuroyume (because I wanted to hear what they sounded like and Kiyoharu {the ex-vocalist of Kuroyume, now vocalist of SADS} is Kyo's idol). I thought their music was a little on the light side and may be something I listen to like once a month. @_@ My favorite I listened to was "MIND BREAKER". I also checked out Buck Tick again because last time I listened tot hem, I didn't like them all that much. I mean, they're not bad, they're not good (no offense to any Buck Tick fans out there). I guess they're just not my type. Afterwards I just couldn't help myself and gorged myself on DIRU. X3

***

"FILTH" by Dir en Grey
Sadistic sadistic sadistic awaken the sadist
Sadistic sadistic sadistic bury the sadist
Sadistic sadistic sadistic sever the masochist
Sadistic sadistic let's begin this platonically

The sallowed, greedy insects
Are my frustrated sympathisers
Rotten apples inside my gastric juices
Won't you try the soup of sexual desire?
The dripping, oozing pink maggots that
Soak in the formaline of sadistic desire
Rotten strawberries inside of that
A sour marinee prepared with blood

Filth Hi

Let's see a movie, holding hands like I promised you
Saying farewell in this evening before the apples and strawberries go rotten
The dream stretches forth, while we're kissing like I promised you
Saying farewell to you let's enjoy the Last Supper

Filth Hi

Sadistic sadistic sadistic drain the sadist dry
Sadistic sadistic sadistic sadistical, horror
The sadistic awakening comes forth
Come one, come all and see
Sadistic sadistic synchro prepared retro horror

The festival of carnal desires will begin
The festival of sexual desires will begin
The out of control sadistic festival
The rapid human flesh psycho horror
Orange juice with liver
Sweet curry mixed with kidney
Pescatore prepared with pancreas
The beloved, beloved psycho horror

***

Today I have had "FILTH" stuck in my head all fucking day. @_@ I'm trying to memorize the chorus for it, so I've been singing it over and over and giggling at Kyo's costume in the PV. XD I'm sorry, I just think that it's hilarious... his big ass dreadlocks and everything. *snickers* I still love you Kyo-kun!!! *cuddles imaginary Kyo plushie* School was pretty boring and average, as usual. _-_ In Orchestra we arranged our playbill for Carnegie Hall trip some people are going on, played a litte, and then took our school picture for the yearbook. There were some guys that had a really nasty mouth behind me... and I know I may be hypocritical, but they were calling people milfs. O_O I don't do THAT. I got to talk to one of my friends from middle school, and that was fun. Talking about how Lucky Charms makes you hyper is always fun. X3 In Algebra I didn't really pay any attention to what we were doing because we were just basically going over things. The entire time I had daydreams about... stuff... (@_@) and drew an elephant on my palm like Naitomea did one time. XDDD I love Naitomea, they're such a bunch of effing crackheads. I drew one on Carley and Johnson's hands too and apparently I started an elephant-hand craze. Go me!!! ^o^ In gym I talked with Chasity while we walked on the track then went inside to play inside soccer. The entire time I sang "FILTH" to myself and didn't really pay any attention to anything. XD In Civics we went to the computer lab (I was gonna look at some Kyo pictures, but I didn't have time -_-) and took some notes on the Executive Branch. Boooooring... *snores* Thai becomes more and more sweet to me everyday. ^^ He sits right behind me now, and today Olivia and Korki stole my eraser and he got it back for me. ^^ I also taught him a little Japanese (because he asked me to) and he says things like "konnchiwa!" and "arigato!" in his cute little Hmong accent. ^//^ I don't think I'd want to date him, just cuddle him... y'know, how I feel like Kai and Shinya. There's no sex appeal, I just think that they're bone-crushingly cute. ^^; So, basically today was just a smear of grey with an explosion of "FILTH" and Thai's smile. Yay! :D


DO NOT tell me you don't love Kyo's "FILTH" outfit. XDDD

Gaaah... I'm hungry. I think I'm going to eat something, watch a few PVs, and play Vivian for a while. Mata ne~!
+Momo+
Comments (5) | Permalink

Monday, October 16, 2006

   Jelly Inspire
Current Mood: Descent
Current Song: INCREASE BLUE by Dir en Grey

Hello, everyone. :D Well, my weekend was pretty exciting... well, more exciting than it usually is. On Saturday I went downtown to Octoberfest with my family and walked around for a little while. All they have now is booths for buying stuff, no activities or anything like when I was little. Money's taking over. *shakes head* We saw a whole lot of cute little doggies and there were a few that were HUGE and Dad and I wondered how often their owners had to milk them. XDD Whenever Mom was buying some Kettle Corn (yuck!!!) I saw Katie and Corey, and just said hi. Whenever I was googling at a stand that had tons of jewelry (it had semi-precious stones... I'm a sucker for rocks XDDD) I saw Storm. I gave her a hug, but she was on break on a booth she was working at. After I got a little pizza-thing from the Pizza-Hut booth, we walked over to the Kid's Side and I saw Sydney and Katie sitting nearby. I poked them on the shoulder and Sydney launched himself on me and hugged me tightly even though he was on his cell phone. X3 I asked my parents if I could hang out with them and they let me, so I was a happy little monkey. We wandered around for a little while and had a good time talking and Sydney had fun shooting water at people through his curly straw (especially me, since I squealed everytime he did it XDDD) but Katie kept on telling him to knock it off. We decided we would see "Talledega Nights" at the local theater that shows movies just before they go on DVD at 7:15. They then had to go, so I walked back to go find my family, but saw my friend Stacie and hung out with her. She brought along her little sister Shaina, but I felt bad for her because she had no one to talk to. I also didn't know her name for a little while, so whenever she wandered off, I would just say "sweetie, over here." XDDD Storm eventually got to get away from her booth and hung out with us for a long time. Eventually we went in this alley that had some nice benches and stuff and talked for a while and Storm drew some nasty stuff on my balloon a really cute emo-tastic boy gave to me. XD After a little while of drawing on my blue bondage balloon (that's what I called it since I tied it to my wrist XD), my friend Savannah came down and talked to us. I was happy to see her since she goes to a different high school than me and the last time I saw she had just gotten out of the mental hospital from trying to commit suicide. She seemed happy enough, so I was happy to hear that. Unfortunately, she brought up the topic of Melody. I would have rather not have heard about her, but Savannah told me that the boy Melody's dating is cheating on her with another girl and got two girls pregnant while he was with her and made out with Savannah. I wasn't happy to hear this, but I wasn't particularly sad either. I guess what goes around comes around. Eventually, my parents called me and said they were ready to go, so I reluctantly left my friends and went home with my parents. Then entire way home, I couldn't stop thinking about Melody. Whenever went home, I went in the bathroom and cried a little but pulled myself together and sat in the living room. Dad eventually pried what was wrong out of me and I started sobbing, telling my parents how much it hurt to think about Melody. They couldn't undestand why I felt so sad whenever I thought about her, but they consoled me as best as they could. Afterwards I studied some Japanese and then asked Mom to take me downtown to see "Talladega Nights." She agreed and took me, but I waited outside in the cold and dark for about 15-20 minutes only to see that they weren't coming. I wasn't depressed, but I was a little upset. Whenever I came back, my parents felt sorry for me (because I've been cheated out of going to movies with my friends for 3 weeks straight in a row) and decided to get pizza and "Scary Movie 4" to cheer me up. XD "Scary Movie 4" was pretty funny, and made me laugh really hard at some places. Poor Logan (my brother) was scared to death at "The Grudge" parts, though. I can't imagine how he'd be if he saw the actual thing. O_O

Yesterday I didn't really do anything. We just went to lunch at Firebonez where I had some awesome Macaroni & Cheese, went to Sam's Club (were I saw my parents buying a Japanese kit I really wanted for my birthday X3) and looked at guitars and drums, looked at my photobucket account for DIRU (yes, that's right, all 400+ pictures XDDD) and studied some Japanese. I really want both of the drums sets I saw at Sam's... one was compact and digital (kinda like drums pads), and one was an actual drumset by STARCASTER. How fucking cool is that??? Starcaster, bitches. Starcaster. XD My brother is saving up to get the Fender guitar there, so I mooch off of his profit and also learn guitar ^^ (I plan on learning bass, guitar, drums, and piano. O_O I can also sing, so I can be an entire band :D). So, yesterday was nice, but boring.


God, Kyo is so gorgeous... I stared at this picture for about 5 minutes. XDDD

School was pretty boring, but I'd rather have it being boring than bad. In orchestra we played until the last 10 minutes, which kinda made me mad, but I sucked it up. In Algebra, I made up ways to learn certain Japanese words and half paid attention to what we were doing. It was REEEEEEEALLY boring, but that's normal... -_- At least I got to sit in a swirl chair and spin around for a little while. :D That is... until I hit my knee. *_* Gym was slightly more interseting, but not much more pleasant. We had to run for a little while, and I was fine with that, but I pushed myself too hard and afterward could hardly breathe. My throat felt really dry and it felt like I had something scratchy stuck in my throat, so I got some water to try to help it. I sat back down and started talking to Chasity, but I couldn't stop coughing. I got some more water to try to help it, but it wouldn't stop. Soon enough, I started to taste blood and the taste that gets stuck in your mouth before you vomit. Chasity walked me to the nurse (although she didn't really need to), and talked to me and kept me company. Whenever I got to the nurse, she listened to my chest and asked me if I had a history of asthma. I kinda panicked, but just said that my father has a less severe case of asthma and she said that if this continues, I may have excercized-induced asthma. She said that I probably don't, but my allergies mostly likely acted up. Chasity and I went back to gym and we talked for a while (I got to tell her about KYO *dances*) before we changed and went to lunch. At lunch I wrote down some songs by Dir en grey that I thought she would like because she sounded interested in them... I didn't get to eat much, but that's okay. Food is for chumps. XDDD In Civics we finished up a movie we were watching, had a test review, and took a test on Congress. I hope I did well, but I think I did. I hope. *shakes* I had to stay after class for 5 minutes because I had to use the bathroom during class, and so did Thai. We talked a little before my teacher asked me what I was going to be for Halloween. I told him that I was thiking of being my favorite rockstar, and whenever he asked who he was, I had to explain to him that he was Japanese. XD So then he asked me how long I've studied Japanese and stuff, so I told him about my Japanese-studying history and I realized that I really owe my success in Japanese to J-rock. Before that, anime and manga inspired me to casually study Japanese, but J-rock really pushed me forward. Thank you, J-rock. *huggles* XD


Yay J-rock!!! *claps* (Yes, Alayna, dear, I put that up especially for you. ^^)

Well, that's basically all that happened. My throat and chest still hurt and I've been coughing up phlegm. Ew. @_@
+Momo+
Comments (6) | Permalink

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

   All That I'm Living For...
Current Mood: Unknown
Current Song: All That I'm Living For by Evanescence

Goddammit. Last night, I let my mind wander foolishly and I once again thought of Melody. I don't know why, but she came across my mind and I couldn't help but just cry it all out. I eventually wiped away my tears and sat out in the living room, pretending that nothing was bothering me. Then, I took a shower and started crying again. I miss her so much, but she hurt me so badly that I don't think I could ever go back. Everytime I think of her, I get a lump in my throat that won't go away and I just break down. I trusted her, and she betrayed that trust. I want to let go, and I know I NEED to, but I can't. She was my best friend, the person I felt the closest to in this world. I also think I loved her... while she was my friend, I denied it because I didn't want things to get in the way of our friendship, but I remember the flip-flops of my stomach whenever we kissed during Truth-Or-Dare and when she held my hand in scary movies. I still look at the picture and notes I have stored away in a box, and look at it with anger, hatred, and sorrow. I can't let go of these emotions that bind me so tightly. Before, I went to bed I wrote a song about it called "Rust", but I'm not very satisfied with it. My inspiration is there, but my writing's quality is slowing to a trickle. I went to bed frustrated with myself, and cried so my parents wouldn't hear until I sank into slumber.

This morning I didn't wake up until 20 minutes before I had to be out the door for school, so I was slightly rushed. I took my time with my makeup, and put on waterproof eyeliner in case I got upset again. In Orchestra, we played two new pieces we got and I read a little bit of "Memoirs of a Geisha." In Algebra, we had another long, boring, useless class, so I read even more "Memoirs of a Geisha." My teacher annoys the hell out of me and rambles off, I just want to tell her to shut up everytime she opens her mouth. @_@ Yeah, I'm just a little pissed off at her. Whenever class was finally over, I talked to my friend Korki, and I saw this really cute pencil pouch. I asked where she got it because I thought it was Japanese (it had some... er... "obscure" English on it) and she hesistated before she said, "oh... I-I got it from Melody..." I pretended not to be upset and I just said "oh! Really?" In gym I figured out that Chasity was leaving early, which made me even more sad than I was. She left right before we went outside to walk, so I went by myself and ran a little to take out my anger. Then we were sent inside to do whatever, so I sat down and watched people play ping-pong. Unfortunatly, I began thinking about Melody again. I went outside and put my hair over my face and started crying. It just hurts so much, and I wish I could let go of my memories... but then I feel like a coward. To I have to suffer to be brave? I eventually went back inside and nobody noticed that I had cried (because of my waterproof eyeliner and my face was already flushed from running), so I was thankful for that. At lunch, I sat by myself for quite a while before my friends Corey, Amanda, and Katie invited me over to their table. I was thankful, but I also sensed pity. I mostly stayed quiet whenever they talked about some stuff, but I did get quite a few laughs, and took my mind off of Melody. In Civics, we took some notes and watched a crappy movie while I chewed my nails more than usual (maybe because I was stressed out more than usual), and we also got our progress reports. I was pretty satisfied with my Civics progress report, but not with my others. I got an A (97%) in Civics, a B (89%) in Algebra, and a B (91%) in Orchestra. I wish I could've gotten an A in all the other classes, but I guess I can screw that up too. In the car rider line, Nicole and I punched each other a whole lot. I feel so tired now, like I'm drained. I think I'm gonna take a nap and try to forget everything. I just hope Melody doesn't appear in my dreams.



Yeah... later.
+Momo+
Comments (5) | Permalink

Monday, October 9, 2006

   Foocha!!!
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: The Domestic Fucker Family by Dir en Grey

Konnichiwa, minna-san... once again, I'm terribly sorry for not posting in quite a while. It's just that my life seems so plain and just consists of school, Japanese, J-rock, and sleep, that I don't think it'll interest any of you. Luckily, something semi-interesting happened over this weekend, so I have a reason to post. :D

On Friday night I got to go over Nicole's house and whenever I went over there, I found out we were going to a theme park, that was decked out (yeah... I said decked out XDDD) for Halloween. It takes about an hour to get there, so Nicole and I talked about yaoi and MCR (she did) and DIRU (I did). Some things we said we had to write by note or else I'm sure her mother would wash our mouth out with soap and then beat us. @_@ Once we got there, it was so cold that I had to borrow a sweatshirt that was about 4 sizes too big, but that was okay... I like big shirts. ^^ We were still cold, so we huddled together and held hands and made this big joke that we were lesbian lovers. XDDD Once we got into the park, I was a little on edge because it had a spooky feeling to it and I knew someone was going to jump out at me. Once we crossed the big, we joined a group of people walking around the park whenever a ghoul (a person hired to scare people) came running and screaming through the crowd. I was so shocked, and my Aikido skills (I've been training for 5 years and I'm almost a blackbelt) led me to believe I was being attacked, so... I hit the poor guy in the face. O_O; He stopped in his tracks, and I gasped and covered my mouth, wide eyed. I looked at me with a mix of hatred and shock and all I could manage was "Oh my God, I am SO sorry." He walked off and Nicole and I ran off, scared that he was gonna come back with a knife. -_- After that we wandered around the park before riding a roller coaster, which had a suprisingly short line (considering it's one of the biggest attractions in the park), only about 5 minutes long. We went down and looked around to see how long the Halloween rides were, and each had about an hour long wait. To spend some time, we went to a store to buy some candy. I wasn't gonna buy anything at first, but then I saw yogurt pretzels... and well, I couldn't resist. @_@ After that, we walked to a part of the park that was supposed to be modeled after a haunted circus, and Nicole tapped a clown on the shoulder and told him she wished she could juggle. @_@ He told her, "that's why I work here and you don't", and walked away juggling... she just screamed "SHOW OFF!!!" XD Whenever we were walking away from the clown, we passed a food stand and Nicole said "Becky, look... ITALIAN SAUSAGE." We both burst out laughing and I said "I wish it were Japanese sausage..." X_X The entire night I had been so perverted that it would make Kyo's lyrics seem mild. We walked around agian to try to get another ride, but they were full again so we went to another store, where we both bought skull necklaces with jeweled-red eyes.... cooool. :D After about another thousand pervert jokes and walking, we went to a shop that sold Sanrio products, so I had to go in and check out what uber cute stuff they had. I saw so many things that I wanted, and about every ten seconds I cooed "cuuuuuuute!!!!" I finally just bought a Baditz-Maru pen, but I really wanted these really cool erasers in the shape of sushi (not just because they were cute, but Japanese erasers erase REALLY well). Once I had my share of adorable-ness, we went to go watch a magic show that had a whole lot of pervert jokes, big ass boots, striped tights, contacts like Kyo's, tattoos, nipple piercings, knive throwing, and beds of nails. I was REEEEALLY turned on afterward. XDDD Once it was done, we wandered around and Nicole once again terrorized all the employees. There was this guy wearing a mask that made him look like Predator, and Nicole said "hey... didn't I see you in a movie once?" and I sweetly replied "hello~!" XD He looked pissed afterwards. Then whenever I was sitting down, she saw a guy scaring people walking around, so she quietly ran after him and snuck up behind him and screamed "BOO!!!" XD I eventually pulled her away because he looked at her like he was going to murder her with a spork. We met up with her mom and boyfriend at the gates, and we told them about how we thought all the employees were going to shiv us for what we did to them. -_- Once we were able to leave, I saw the man who I hit in the face. O_O;;; He came up to me, draped his arm around my shoulder and said "you, my dear, should really be more careful." I hugged him and said "I'm so so so so so so so so so sorry!!!" and kept on apologizing until I couldn't breathe. He told me afterwards he had to go all the way back to the makeup room to reapply his makeup from where I hit him (I found a smear of fake blood on my hand while I was waiting in line on the roller coaster X_X), and I apologized again. I told him I had felt bad the entire time, and it was the truth... every five minutes, I would say "I can't believe I hit that guy, I feel so bad..." I was so happy I got to apologize, but I still feel bad. I hope I didn't bruise his face. ;_; We finally left the park, and I slept almost the entire way back. I only woke up when we got home and I just walked to the bedroom, took off my necklace, and fell asleep.

On Saturday, Nicole and her mom dropped me off at Aikido, where I stayed for two hours and told my sensei about the theme park incident... he found it all rather funny. @_@ After Aikido, Mom picked me and my brother up and brought us home, where Dad gave me the new Evanescence CD he got at Target while I was gone for $10. He was going to save it for my birthday, but he didn't want to torture me like that. Such a good Daddy. :) My family got dressed and went to Sonic, where we ate and listened to Evanescence. I was shocked at how awesome it was... I mean, I expected it to be, but nothing like this. I think "The Open Door" is 3 times better than "Fallen", and that's saying something. Amy's voice got even better, she showed off her piano skills, and the new band members gave the band a totally creepy, haunting feeling. The lyrics were simply beautiful, and the songs "Lacrymosa" (about Ben Moody, their ex-guitarist, and Amy's ex-love) and "Like You" (about Amy's relative who recently passed away) almost made me cry, they were so sad. Her voice was so mournful and you could feel the pain radiating off of her. I also learned that "Call Me When You're Sober" is about the lead singer of Seether, her ex-boyfriend. I think my favorite songs were "All That I'm Living For" (that reminded me of Melody so much) and "Lithium" are my favorite, although I really like "Snow White Queen", "Cloud 9", and "Sweet Sacrafice." You see, Evanescence is one of my favorite bands-Japanese or American-and is one of the three I feel the most in debt to (Dir en Grey, Nine Inch Nails, and Evanescence). You see, Evanescence was my first rock band... the most risque thing I listened to before that was P!nk. I began listening to them in 5th grade (4 years ago), and immediatly fell in love with them. Amy inspired me to sing to the best of my ability, and at least everyday I sang my heart out to a few of the songs. The taught the meaning of passion in music, and I owe everything to them. Also, my first concert I went to was Evanescence. Without Evanescence (especially Amy), I wouldn't be the person I am today. Also, listening to "The Open Door" inspired me interest in the piano once again, and I decided to put a "how to learn piano" book on my birthday list. Next year I'm definately quitting orchestra so I can focus on singing better, getting better at playing bass, and learning how to play everything else I want to learn (the drums and piano). Later that day, I didn't get to go on the date I was supposed to (my date had to go to his Mom's house), so I was pretty dissapointed about that. I just studied Japanese in my spare time I had.


Amy Lee, one of the most beautiful and talented women I've ever layed eyes on.

On Sunday, I had to go to an orchestra concert, which really pissed me off. I hate seeing the people that I have to go to school with everyday (except for Storm, cause she's awesome :D) and playing when I don't want to. I sat through the middle schools' performance, then the highschool sat down and played their five pieces... I could see the look of dissapointment on my teacher's faces and I really expected them to stop us in the middle of the piece to tell us we suck, because I'm so used to it. So, whenever we got off the stage, I was relieved. We then had to pack up our instruments, and take a chair up to the orchestra room. I wouldn't have minded, but the orchestra room was upstairs, there was a huge crowd full of pricks and rich kids who wouldn't move, and there were two retards in front of me both carrying one stand and moving slower than molasses. I was getting ready to stab them in the head, but I finally got to the orchestra room and came back (but also got impaled by a chair in the arm). -_- I met up with my parents, grandma, and aunt, but discovered they planned on sending me to New York. You see, my high school is planning on going to Carnegie Hall, but I decided I wouldn't go because it's far too expensive (my family wouldn't be able to afford it normally, and my dad doesn't have a job right now) and I'm afraid of New York. But Grandma is determined and now I'm afraid she'll go bankrupt from sending me on a $900 trip, not counting spending money. -_- My head hurts just thinking about it.

Okay, my fingers and eyes hurt... I've spent over an hour typing this up cause I love you guys. Mata ne.
+Momo+
Comments (6) | Permalink

Wednesday, October 4, 2006

   Gomen. *sniffs*
Current Mood: Bored
Current Song: raison detre by Dir en Grey

I'm really sorry I haven't updated in forever, I feel terrible... but to be totally honest, I don't have anything to post about other than the fact that I was asked out and I'm gonna have a date on Saturday. Yeah... that's it. @_@

I updated because I saw a girl at my school that kinda looks like my Areina-chan and I got really sad and wanted to see how everyone was doing. I miss joo guys. ;_;
+Momo+
Comments (8) | Permalink