Wednesday, September 6, 2006

   Sei to Shi
Current Mood: Neutral
Current Song: Tsumi to Batsu by Dir en Grey

I guess with every death, there is life. I woke up this morning to my dad saying "Hey, Becky!!! The princess of Japan had a baby!" I just opened my eyes and groaned and dragged myself out of bed... say anything about Japan and I'm up. XD I just looked at more of it from The Japan Times Online (yeah, I have Japanese news sites bookmarked... shut up -_-). Apparently Princess Kiko, wife to Prince Akishino (Emperor Akihito's son), gave birth to a baby boy this morning (or maybe yesterday... the time differences confuse me @_@). He's going to have a naming ceremony in a week, I believe, and he's the first male to be born into the Akihito family in like 41 years. Wow. O_O But Princess Kiko is really pretty. ^^ So, I guess with every tragedy (Steve Irwin's death), there comes a blessing (Princess Kiko's son)... how weird life is, ne? (I'm sorry if I didn't get all the information right, I'm doing this all from memory. And my memory sucks. Go to The Japan Times Daily, The Daily Yomiuri, and Asahi News-they all have sections in English, my dears.)


This is a earlier picture of Kiko-sama, but still, isn't she gorgeous???

This morning I cleaned up my locker and some oil was still dripping down afterwards, but I figure it'll just stop in a while. If it doesn't I'll get my mom to come to the school and NO ONE wants that (my mom can make a tiger wince). Whenever I went to Orchestra, I got my viola and started tightening my bow and the screw suddenly just let loose and the horsehair went limp. I went to go tell my teachers and they told me that I'll have to take it to the local violin shop to get it fixed. They told me to borrow a bow from someone else but I hate borrowing things and didn't want to break it (although I really doubt that I would). So in Orchestra I had to air bow or just finger (yeah, I know, I think the same thing XD) the part I have, which pissed me off. Nothing in Algebra really happened except for lots and lots of work. Oh, dear. In Health we had a police officer (at least, that's what I think he is XD) talk about alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes. I at least learned one thing-cigarettes turn your fingernails black. I know that drugs also do that, so I was worried whenever I saw that Kaoru and Kyo have really big spots of black on their nails but I guess it's just from smoking... you never know, though. Whenever Health let out and I went to go to lunch the police dude walked past me and said "see you on Thursday!" I was really suprised and just nodded in acknowledgement... I seem to do that alot and I'm afraid it makes me seem like I'm stuck up. ;_; I ate lunch and this adorable little Hmong boy named Thai (I call him my cute little Asian boy when he's not around XD) sat with me and my friends and I just wanted to give him a hug!!! He's so adorable... everytime he sees me, he says "hi, Becky!!!" and waves really fast, it's so cute. And whenever he smiles... his face just lights up and it makes my heart so happy. ^^ And whenever he catches me looking at him he just smiles. XDDD He's so sweet that I drew him a chibi yesterday. X3 In Civics we had to play this gay little game to review for our test and our team won and we got suckers for it... I didn't take one though, I get sick whenever I eat something too sweet and I didn't really want to make everyone else feel bad (aw!!! I should've got one and given it to Thai!!!). Then we took this really easy test (although I did miss one... -_-), so I was happy that I did well. I then walked with Nicole and gave her my pen that said "Premarin: Vaginal Cream" (because my mom works at a OB/GYN) since she laughed so hard whenever she saw it her laugh echoed. XDDD I finished my homework relatively early because I didn't have any in Civics and the Algebra was as easy as Paris Hilton. I wasn't able to get on the computer earlier, though, because my slow-ass-typer of a brother had to type up a paper. So I messed with some makeup, put on a facial mask, and I finally got on MyO! Yay! :D


Kyo: Guaranteed to give you daydreams dirty enough to make your teachers suspend you. X3

So, I guess I'm pretty happy, especially about Princess Kiko's son. I bet he's really beautiful. ^^ So, happy birthday to Japan's new heir to the throne!
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Tuesday, September 5, 2006

   Nan da yo?
Current Mood: I don't know
Current Song: raison d'etre by Dir en Grey

So Steve Irwin died yesterday morning. Whenever I found out, I was in shock for about an hour and then cried for another hour. Whenever I was little, my family would always sit in front of the TV and watch "The Crocodile Hunter" and learn about all these types of animals and watch in wonder as he talked about these ancient reptiles like they were the best thing on the world. As my brother and I watched more and more, we came to appreciate and see the animals' beauty. And I'm sure he's not the only kids he did that to. He's one of the reasons I wanted to be a veterinarian. He's one of the reasons I love animals so much. He's one of the reason I'm a vegetarian. He's helped make me me. He did so much for the world and sculpted a path that no one else can create. He brought a new understand to people and built a bridge between the human and animal world. He was such a wonderful father. I can't believe he's gone. Whenever I hear people talking badly about him I want to scream. If only they understood what he's done.


Steve, Terry, and Bendi Irwin. (Sorry, I couldn't find one with Bob in it.)

It seems like a lot of bad things are happening to a lot of good people. Steve Irwin died, my brother was dumped my the girl he loved, my dad is in a financial rut, my mom's ready to quit her job, and a whole lot more that I don't really care to think about.

I got my locker, finally, today. One problem-oil is leaking from the top compartment into the main one and I got my Civics notebook and planner covered in nasty-ass sticky oil. I went to the office to complain at lunch and I was told to go find the assistant principal, who I have no idea who he is or what he looks like. So nobody did anything I could have my books, notebooks, and backpack ruined. I'm gonna bring some baby wipes and hopefully clean it out. Fucking locker.

I'm in my little stage where I'm obsessed with Japanese TV and movies. Today I listened to some "The Nightmare Before Christmas" songs in Japanese and it was pretty cool. Yay. I also watched the DIRU live for "Obscure" and "Byo Shin." After being a J-rock fan for 2 years, I still can't comprehend how such a feral scream can come from such a cute, fluffy little Kyo.



I have so much fucking homework it's not even funny. I hate it.

I feel like taking a nap but I know Mom will wake me up as soon as she sees me. Damn it.
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Friday, September 1, 2006

   Gomen nasai, minna-san!!!
Current Mood: Worried
Current Song: Beautiful People by Marilyn Manson

Well, here's another really short post. I gotta go to the beach over the weekend, so I won't be able to post. I'm really sorry, you guys, I've had a really busy week. I worked on my homework for an hour and a half today. ;_; And then load was considerably light. Damn highschool barging into my Otaku life. I'm really sorry, I hope that I'll be able to post more often and longer. Much love, dears. Ja mata.


I miss listening to J-rock all day... *sighs*

School... a perfect reason to be anti-social.
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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

   Gomen nasai...
Sorry about the later post... it turns out Kyo's gonna be fine. *whew* I'm still gonna pray for him, but I feel much better. Much loves.
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   NOOOO!!! KYO!!!
Current Mood: Worried
Current Song: INCREASE BLUE by Dir en Grey

I wasn't gonna post today, but this is something I can't ignore-Kyo was sent to the hospital!!! He was doing a show in Toronto and a box he was standing on wasn't secured well enough, causing him to fall and get a concussion. But afterwards he sang 5 more songs and walked off stage!!! The paramedics got to him after the show and supposedly he's in the hospital right now-poor thing just got out for tonsilitis!!! So, everyone, please pray for our dear Kyo-kun to get better!!! (Thank you, lemurturtle, for the information!)


GET BETTER, KYO!!!

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006

   Tsumannai...
Current Mood: Meh
Current Song: Mr. Newsman by Dir en Grey

Maaah!!! Once again, nothing has happened!!! Me so sad. ;_; Last night I went to a ceramics class with my mom and I painted a ceramic skull. XDDD After I ate some Chinese (I didn't get oily food-I got egg drop soup and white rice-yay!!! I need to stop eating rice with soy sauce, though, it's considered bad manners in Japan -_-), I flipped through my Japanese book and reviewed some and tried to drill "shouji" and "fusuma" deep into my brain because I keep on forgetting... I hate whenever I do that. *bangs head on table* Anyway, yeah... that basically covers my night. Whenever I woke up this morning, I fell asleep after slamming on my alarm clock (even though I do wake up to "audience KILLER LOOP") and Mom finally dragged me out of bed. XP Whenever I put on one of my favorite jackets (my Nightmare Before Christmas hoodie... I've had it for about 3 years-it's all thin and and some stiches are coming loose ;_;) I sprayed some perfume, called "Haiku", underneath it, but I obviously sprayed too much because the smell started to overpower me. I fanned out my jacket and rubbed my shirt where I sprayed it, because heat causes fragrance to dissapear, it still didn't fade and I got a headache from it. @_@ So I had to change out of my Evanescnce shirt into my Linkin Park shirt and out of my NBC jacket and into my London jacket. -_- Kuso. In homebase Chelsea and I talked for a little while about how she's upset with her ex-boyfriend, who she wants to get back with, and how one of her ex-friends is being mean to her. We talked it out and somehow came across the subject of dreams, and I told her the dream I had last night... slitting open my wrists into blood came gushing out like a waterfall right in front of my parents and how someone stole carpet and a few other things out of my house and left a list. o_O Weird. In Orchestra, I thought I was going to DIE, it was so hot. I was sweating so much that my hair got a little wet. O_O But it really upset me at the beginning of class because I was unpacking my viola and a boy came up to me and just stood there, staring at me. I moved over a little so that he could walk past, but he didn't move. I suddenly realized that I was in the wrong seat and I apologized and he said "there you go!!!", like I was some kind of idiot. It really embarassed me and I thought about it until I finally concentrated on the notes. In Algebra my Kala Bear got moved away from me (;_;) but Katie was still in front of me, so I was happy about that. Nothing really happened except we took some notes and worked on a few problems. In Health we had to pair up (although I don't know why, we all had a piece of paper o_O) draw what came to our mind whenever Health was mentioned. I started drawing some stuff (really bad, I wasn't really trying) and whenever the teacher passed by he said "ah, I see we have an artist in the class." I got embarassed and just said "not really...". I hate whenever people say that type of stuff. -_- And what's worse, I said "midori" as I reached for the green colored pencil. O_O I didn't mean to, I just spit it out. I was so embarassed, but luckily, my friend understood. At lunch I sat with my friends Chastity, Kendra, and Katie. In Civics we just reviewed everything we did yesterday, had a short little quiz, and took some notes on stuff. We also had a fire drill during Civics, so I got to talk to Nicole, Devon, and Korki (my kawaii little Hmong friend :D) for a little while. Once Civics let out, Nicole saw me in the hallway and walked with me to my homebase, where I have to put my bookbag since I don't have a locker yet. X_X I packed up my bookbag (which is like 15-20 pounds), walked to the bathroom (cause I had to hold it for an hour ;_;), go to the orchestra room to get my viola, and walk down to the sidewalk when Mom would pick us up. I thought Nicole was gonna die whenever I said that it was "as hot as Kyo's crotch" outside. XDDD Mom finally picked us up, dropped Nicole off, and dropped me off. Once I got home I ate some tasty ramen (the perfect afterschool snack :3), did my homework, read a little bit of my magazine, and got on the computer. While I was on the computer I went to HarajukuLovers.com (yes... I like Gwen Stafani... you can hate me if you want, she's a guilty pleasure of mine. But I liked her back when she was in No Doubt too!!!) and looked at some of the stuff. They didn't have a whole lot in stock, but they're trying to upload it all onto their site. I also learned how to write "Harajuku" and "ongaku" from it. XDDD I watched the interviews with Love, Angel, Music, and Baby, the four Japanese girls that go on tour with Gwen. Angel is actually from a 4 generation American family, so she learned all her Japanese from Love, Music, and Baby. Afterwards I printed some DIRU lyrics, looked at some Japanese stuff on YouTube, and put on makeup like Baby and I looked like a clown. XD The only thing I really liked was the lipstick, which kinda makes you look like you're puckering up. Yeah.


Gwen and the Harajuku girls.

My eyes hurt and I have a headache. ;_; I'm also tired (oh, yeah, in Health I almost said "darui" in responce to a question my teacher asked me XD) and hungry. I gotta get off, I think I'm gonna die. XD Bainara~!
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Monday, August 28, 2006

   Peel Off the Scabs that Blind Your Eyes...
Current Mood: Eh
Current Song: Jealous by Dir en Grey

Sorry about the title, it's just one of my favorite lines I've ever wrote so I thought I'd put it up. *nods* Umm... nothing really happened last night after we got home, so there's nothing really to post on that except that I talked to Nicole on the phone and talked about how we need a jar of dirt where we can store pocky and slash/yaoi (we were talking about POTC2, and we're weird like that XD) and saw that "Star Wars" was on TV and after flipping out I immediatly thought "KYO!!!" (BTW, Kyo loves "Star Wars" and it was one of the first movies he remembers seeing... poor thing got scared and wanted to go home whenever he saw Jabba the Hut XD). ^^; Today I wore my new outfit, and the pants weren't as bad as I thought it was, but they were still too tight for my liking (normally I have to pull up my pants every 10 mins ^^;)... good thing I don't wear pants like Kyo, that'd be hell. @_@ Anyway, today was the first day of school where we're not able to carry around bookbags, which REALLY sucks since my homeroom doesn't have their lockers yet. ;_; And it's all the way downstairs, when all my classes are on the 2nd floor. -_- Damn. I was complaining to Chelsea about how the pants felt weird and how I said they look ugly on me and she said "Rebecca!!! You are NOT ugly. If I were a lesbian I would SOOOO date you." XD A few people just stared at us and I laughed hysterically. I love being such a little whore with my friends. In Orchestra we got our first piece... well, actually four pieces. -_- They're not as hard as I thought they would be, but I still need to work on them. Also, the notes are kinda hard for me to see so I may have to start wearing my glasses. ;_; Nooooo!!! In Algebra I got to sit with Katie and Kala and I finished all of my classwork (on my paper I wrote "ase, tsuba, chi, to esu." I'd love to see my teacher's face if she knew what that meant. XDDD), so that made me happy. ^^ Katie and Kala and I kept on talking about how awesome sticky notes are and that they're a bunch of skanks cause they have some but I don't. XDDD In Health, it was le terrible. We had to pair up with someone and tell them about ourselves and the two girls who sat with me at lunch the other day immediatly went to me... like a magnet. o_O So all three of us paired up and wrote stuff about ourselves, talked a little, and read our papers to each other. I was fine until we had to go up to the front and read what we had. -_- So now, the whole class knows that I study Japanese. Just great. They'll probably start asking me how to say "penis." -_- Grr. But there was one good thing that came from it-there was a cute Asian boy with glasses and in a baggy polo shirt and jeans and he kinda reminded me of Seo Taiji, although they don't really look alike. XDDD He likes alternative music, and I was about to go up to him and ask him if he likes NIN. XD I'm such a dork. During lunch I didn't eat anything (cause I didn't feel like going up all the way to my homeroom and getting my lunchbox) and did my homework. Yay! In Civics we had to review the rules, take notes on government (where the teacher kissed my ass-"that was a really good answer..." XD), and learn Roman numerals. XD That's right, learn Roman numerals. I was gonna say I already knew how to write in Roman numerals, but I didn't wanna seem like a know-it-all and explain where I learned it... tarot cards. X3 Whenever school let out, Nicole and I walked out to the curb where Mom would pick us up and I talked about how we should act like a bunch of crackhoes... y'know, even more than we already do. XDDD We got Nicole home and Mom dropped me off, where I got some ramen. :D Yay ramen. I also flipped through my newest issue of "Seventeen" (yes, "Seventeen"... SHUT UP!!!!), and was so happy to see that they they had a thing on "why he doesn't turn you on" and it had the option of being bi/lesbian (FINALLY!!! Gays getting some rights!!!) and it was the Halloween issue! I'm what some people might call a "Halloween Goth", because I can be so fucking tacky that it's funny. Like, The Candy Spooky Theater. XD After flipping through it I really want some baby powder because it makes you look freaky pale and you don't have to spend a fortune on white powder, like at say a local retail store... *cough*hottopic*cough* I really should practice my viola, but I'd rather practice my bass. *sighs* School really pisses me off. Damn.


I suddenly want a lapdance... XD

Eto... nothing really happened today, so I'm sorry that it's been such a ridiculously boring post. That happens because of school. I say we burn it to the ground. X3
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Sunday, August 27, 2006

   Okane wa Aku desu. -_-
Current Mood: Agitated
Current Song: Shokubeni by Dir en Grey

Gaaahh... yesterday was pretty melow. Yesterday my brother and I (Mom went out shopping with one of her friends) waited around the house until my dad came back from the gym, which ended up being around 2 in the afternoon. We finally got ourselves together and went to McDonalds to eat and I found out that a fruit and walnut salad (the only thing that I can eat at McDonalds... -_- I wish they'd serve fake beef and chicken too) is 310 calories. I think it's overall the yogurt and walnuts, but still. Damn. After eating, we went back home and I got on the computer and checked my mail and went to go watch some lives of DIRU. I love lives, but I don't particularly care for the more recent ones. In the most recent ones, Kyo sometimes skips some lines in the song and it doesn't sound too good... also, sometimes he runs out of breath and screams when he should sing at a normal tone to catch his breath. I still think DIRU's performances are amazing, but I wish Kyo would stick to the main picture.

Wow. I just kinda bashed Kyo. O_O I'm so sorry... T~T

Anyway, I watched the live for "Shokubeni" from "The Code of Vulgar[ism]", and it was amazing. ^^ If it was possible, the song sounded far more sinister and felt like someone was putting a powerdrill in your ear... it was AWESOME!!! ^o^ Also, Kyo had a solo where all the instruments were silent and he had his little moment, and it was gorgeous. It really showed you how well he can hold a note and force emotion into something. But at the end of the song, whenever the music stopped, I had a nasty little shock. Kyo was still headbanging after the music stopped and you could hear him panting terribly, and after after 15-20 seconds, he stopped and screamed at the top of his lungs and looked like he just wanted to die. I could feel my heart beat in my chest and I wanted to cry. I know Kyo is a happy person, it's just that on stage, he comes face to face with his pain and you can see how much it tears him apart on the inside. I just want to hug him and promise him that everything will be alright. After watching some DIRU, I watched "Memoirs of a Geisha" and was happy to watch it again, and I actually catched some Japanese that I didn't realize was there before. I did get kinda upset at myself because I couldn't remember the names of certain things, like "shamisen." That really pissed me off, because the shamisen is my favorite Japanese instrument (I also like the koto, fue, and taiko). -_- By then it was about 9, and we ordered pizza (YAY!!!) and watched "RV", which was suprisingly really funny. If you want to watch something that's good enough to enjoy but nice enough to watch with your family, get "RV." After that I added a few Japanese movies (suprisingly, most of them were dramas!!!) to my family's Blockbuster Online account, tips for studying Japanese (that I'm thinking of putting up on here for fellow Japanese students ^^), and a little bit of a story I'm writing of what DIRU would do if they celebrated Christmas together. At about 1:30 in the morning (I know... it's so early -_-) I went to bed cause I thought I was gonna pass out.


I'm so sorry, Kyo-sama... *sobs*

This morning I woke up at 10:30 in the morning (which is incredibly early for me) to see my mom watching "Memoirs of a Geisha", which she didn't like. I think it's because of how Arthur Golden portrayed geisha, as prostitutes (although I still love the book). After taking a shower and singing to "Shokubeni", my family went out to eat... and for some reason we went to a cafeteria (like, a buffet) where only really religious old people eat. XD And, I was wearing a shirt that said "DICK" across the chest, and I don't think a whole lot of senior citizens appreciated that. X3 There wasn't a whole lot of stuff to eat there for vegetarians, so I had to eat spaghetti (without any sauce because the only sauce they had was meat sauce), peaches, and macaroni and cheese. An odd combination, ne? XDDD Anyhow, after that, we went to Target where we bought some clothes for school, which made me feel terrible. I felt terrible because not only do things not fit me well (my hips are some of the biggest I've ever seen), but I hate spending money, and my dad's having some troubles with his job right now, so we're kinda short on money. Never the less, my parents made me get some stuff, so I got two t-shirts and a pair of jeans. I got a black Halloween shirt for $5 that says "Sweet & Sinister" on it with cobwebs and stuff, a creame-colored shirt with a skull and crossbones and flowers on it (that my mom wasn't too fond of) ($10), and a pair of Levis ($20) that I don't like the fit of too much, but my mom was convinced that I looked really good in them. -_- Whenever I got home I finished my Algebra homework while listening to DIRU and my family finished watching "RV" (while my dad was watching it, he sad that the girl Jojo played in it kinda looked and acted like me [if I were meaner]-I was upset that he was so mean to Jojo!!!). I don't really wanna go to school tommorow... it's so tiring and I've had to take a nap afterwards. ;_; Hopefully it'll get better. Well, I love you guys and I'll talk to you later. Ja ne~!
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Friday, August 25, 2006

   'I've Got 4 Screws Loose In My Head.' Isn't that Romantic?
Current Mood: Tired
Current Song: Clever Sleazoid by Dir en Grey

Ugh... OMFG... I'm now officialy a freshman. @_@ I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday, so allow me to explain. Yesterday we had freshmen oreintation and it was descent enough. I was a little nervous going to school and my breath was slightly shaky and shallow. I eventually got over it whenever I saw my friend Chelsea and we huddled together whenever we went into the gym for the assembly. We had a fun time making fun of the teachers whenever they were trying to get us all excited about highschool. We kept on laughing and making pervy jokes (which I've missed emmensly). Chelsea made me burst out laughing whenever the teachers announced that they would be giving out free t-shirts (which is odd... I didn't think my school had that much money o_O) that had a globe on it and the motto of the school. Chelsea looked at it and said "y'know... if a guy grabs your tits while you're wearing that shirt he can say he's got the whole world in his hands." XD I died laughing. We then went to homeroom and our teacher talked a little, although none of it was really useful. @_@ We then went to all of our other classes (for me it's Orchestra, Algebra 1, Health/Gym, and Civics/Economics) and had the procedures of the class explained to us. Afterwards we went to different places on like a little tour but I really enjoyed whenever we got to talk to two of the seniors. Chelsea was asking shit like "so, where are all the hot guys here?" XD We're such a bunch of little skanks. We eventually got to eat pizza, a drink, AND ice cream (which were all free... where the hell does my ghetto-ass school get all that money?!). I didn't get to eat any pizza (*tear*) because they ran out of cheese and I'm a vegetarian, so I settled with a pepsi and chocolate ice cream (that was ORGASMIC, by the way). My friends kept on laughing at me because of how I kept on talking about how delicious the ice cream was. I also got to see a few of my friends that I haven't seen since 6th grade, and I must admit, I've really missed them. We kept on giggling and saying pervy things, I loved it. I also made up with one of my friends, Nicole, (she stole from me, but... I guess I forgave her) and it was nice to be together again. We went to her house afterwards and her mom ordered pizza so it made up for my lack of Italian delight. ^^; I learned that Nicole is now obsessed with My Chemical Romance and is trying to "convert" me. So we spent the day on the computer, and she kept on forcing me to listen to videos and look at pictures of MCR and Bert from The Used. I don't like The Used either. -_- So, in return, I made her play some videos of DIRU (she likes DIRU, so it wasn't all that bad), and I rambled on and on about Kyo. XD I also freaked her out by making her read some lyrics... I let her read "304 Goushitsu, Hakushi to Sakura" and "Mazohyst of Decadence" but then moved to creepier songs like "Myaku" and "Cimredopyh Egnirys +) an injection" and "Pink Killer" I think I disturbed her. ^^; "Pink Killer" and "Egnirys" killed her the worst. X3 She thought my favorite line was the weirdest-"'I've got 4 screws loose in my head.' Isn't that romantic?" She's so mean. T^T... XD After that I went home and took a nice long nap... Mom eventually woke me up to eat dinner and then I got ready for school all over again.

"Cimredopyh Egnirys +) an injection" by Dir en Grey (translated by centigrade-j)
On the day of the black moon, as my pupils dilate.
The black cat hung yesterday, only the eyes still glint sharply

On the day of the red moon, the cat watches me,
its pupils dilate.
The meat and the rotten mass,
"I've got 4 screws loose in my head"
Isn't that romantic ?

Please god save me, I wanna put an end to it
put an end to my life right away, and hang my pitiful body.

white powder, expose my naked belly,
the psycho night when wings develop.
white powder, expose my naked belly,
the psycho moonlit night and the romanticist.

On the moonless night,
I started to speak to the wall with my lower half...
even past eighteen I still have wet dreams
speaking of which you're a porno mag.

You're surely with me, putting the white powder on the spoon,
cook it over the fire, it bubbles up and melts,
then melts into this pitiful body.
My head spins, the room spins, here it comes.
Please god save me, I wanna put an end to it,
put an end to my life right way, and hang my pitiful body.

white powder, expose my naked belly,
the psycho night when wings develop.
white powder, expose my naked belly,
the psycho moonlit night and the romanticist.

RaP: a clean right hand is your hand, gradually getting uglier.
From the marrow of your bones GOD
the phantasmagoric right brain tells
natural genius, developed genius, grave sin
"That" I know, "That" I have, "That" I shoot up. BAD.

The white bed I wait in, an injection,
you, who is only my right hand,
entwining fingers, interlocking fingers with "that kind of me"
bound in the chastity belt, so very pretty and thin,
little by little by little I got sick of you.
So I hung you.


Here's the picture of Die I told you about last post-isn't he gorgeous???

Today was better than I thought it would be, but I thought it would never end. I'm used to 7 50 minute classes but I now have 4 90 minute classes. @_@ In Orchestra they went over the rules and I practiced Japanese, in Algebra 1 we began our first lesson, in Gym they went over the rules and I talked to my new friend Katie, during lunch two girls I don't know came to sit with me and once I finished I finished some of my homework, and in Civics they went over the rules and did some work. I'm so tired from it, I just wanna take a nice, long nap but I wanted to update first and listen to some DIRU. In fact, I think I may visit a few sites, have a snack, and have a nice little nap. I don't know how I'll manage the rest of the year... it's so tiring. ;_; Damn school.
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Wednesday, August 23, 2006

   Yurari to... yurari to... yurari to... yurari to....
Current Mood: Pissed off
Current Song: 304 Goushitsu, Hakushi to Sakura by Dir en Grey

Mou... yesterday was pretty nice. ^^ I was on the computer looking at pictures of DIRU (and I find a REALLY nice picture of Die-I might have to put it up for Oneechan and Larth2thlink ^^;). My brother decided he wanted to go to his friend's house, and so Mom picked him up and I had the house all to myself. I stayed on the computer for a little more but then a storm brewed up, so I had to get off. Taking advantage of my brother's absense, I practiced singing on my karaoke machine without holding back. It was really nice to sing "Cage" at the top of my lungs, pressing my hand to my heart without anyone staring at me in confusion. I tried to practice screaming, becase I've never done it before but didn't work up the nerve. Damn me. -_- I sang plenty of other songs from "Gauze", but I noticed that I put the most into "Cage." ^^ (It could be that it was my first DIRU/J-rock song and PV and first song I learned how to sing in Japanese, but... @_@) I've come to really like "304 Goushitsu, Hakushi to Sakura." I seldomly used to listen to it, but once I actually sat down and took the time to appreciate it, my heart fluttered. Kyo's beautiful, flowing voice engulfed me in a sense of comfort, drawing me in deeper and deeper until I was drowning in the world he had created. And Die... wow. That boy really has a knack for song writing. XD It's so heavenly-souding; it's a gently melody, like the sound of fingers gliding across the strings of a harp. But before you know it, just as you're sinking into a calm sense of mind, the song explodes and reminds you that this is a song of sorrow, not happiness. I really, really like "304", it seems that the more I listen to things, the more I love them. ^^; Kyo wrote some other "304 Goushitsu", but they're in his poem book. They're really beautiful, and I wish he would make them into songs (wait... doesn't the poem book have a CD included???). Anyhow, it was really nice having the house all to myself. ^^ After that I played the bass and it sucked ASS. I have to learn the fourth fret, meaning I have to use my pinky. Pressing down on the E string is HELL. I eventually had to quit because it hurt so much. ;_; While I watched "Futurama" I exercised my weakest fingers (ring finger and pinky) but bending them over and over again until I got cramps. X_X Ouchness. Then I watched "Family Guy", practiced more singing, and went to bed.

304 GOUSHITSU, HAKUSHI TO SAKURA by Dir en Grey (translation by Tattered Cloth)
from the window the ever unchanging cherry blossoms
flutter flutter flutter flutter and dance in the breeze

today, too, my conciousness fades away
who are you? I cannot remember anything
my tears overflowed and fell
onto your hand clutching mine reassuringly

your unending stream of tears told me something
for some reason the scent of you brings memories...
surely I will lose my life all alone, in this room
these flowers that no-one can find...

the flowers fall quickly, swaying in the breeze this white hospital room blows with the breeze

the pain building up day by day
you held my thinning, ugly body close to you

at my time of death, there's one special person I remembered
tomorrow I'll become ashes, return to dust
from the window I can see the cherry blossoms beneath those cherry blossoms I want to sleep
wrapped in warmth in your hand....
they carry me quietly from room 304
so that I will never forget you

from here on, I sway in the breeze, together with the cherry blossoms, remembering you

fluttering fluttering
fluttering fluttering



Ugh... today is my last full day of freedom. ;_; Tommorow I have to go to school for a half day because I'm going to be a... a... freshman. *sobs* I dun wanna go to highschool! I dun wanna grow up!!! T~T This sucks major ass. Not only will I have to go to school, but it'll also cut down on my J-rock, Japanese, staying up late, and all that other fun stuff. ;_; School sucks. So I'm gonna enjoy this day while it lasts.
+Momo+
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