Saturday, July 8, 2006

   Welcome to Bat Country~!
Current Mood: Metalhead XD
Current Song: Trashed and Scattered by Avenged Sevenfold

Hero, everyone. Sorry I didn't post yesterday, you guys know I'm kinda bad with posting on weekends. -_- Anyhow, after posting on the O I went over to YouTube and watched me some D'espairsRay. *SQUEE* Ah, that made me so happy... D'Ray kicks so much ass and is one of the manliest/hardcore J-rock bands around. For those of you who don't know, D'espairsRay is like Japan's Slipknot/Marilyn Manson on steroids. XD They are always screaming, always rocking, always morbid no matter what. They're in your face bad asses. Hizumi, the vocalist (*drools*), has one of the most amazing voices I have ever heard. Whenever he sings it always has a mournful touch to it, and it's so deep it makes you wonder if Gackt feels ashamed. He also has the ability to screech and yell at the top of his lungs but still retain a beautiful sound to it... one moment he could be on the verge of tears, the other he could be screaming "FUCK OFF." Karyu, the guitarist, plays the guitar like it's his bitch. And it is. XD He can make it wail, make it scream, make it sing, make it fucking talk. You can tell he puts his heart and soul into every note he plays, sometimes even mouthing the words to the songs during concerts. He's a truly gifted individual, a notable contribution to J-rock. Zero, their bassist, is effing crazy-there's no other way to put it. On stage he headbangs, jumps up and down, and beats on the bass until you'd think his hands would bleed. Sadly, most of the time, his skills go unnoticed. But, if he were ever to leave the band or stop playing, you would defintaly feel the void of Zero-if you don't believe me, listen to "Garnet" and think of how it'd sound without Zero. And finally, Tsukasa... sweet, little Tsukasa. Like quite a few J-rock drummers, he is the sweetest and most mild manner of the bunch but explodes in concert. Pounding away on his drum set, he produces enough sound to make an elephant go deaf. Quite like Zero, he is often looked over, as many bassists and drummers are. But once again, the band would be empty without him. So-if you like J-rock, and you like music that'll make your ears bleed, listen to some D'Ray. (I want to see them so badly in concert. >_<)


Hizumi, baby... XDDD

Speaking of music, I have seen the lights, my friends. And that light is Avenged Sevenfold. My dad finally got Avenged Sevenfold's CD, "City of Evil", and I have only two words for it-HOLY SHIT. This album kicks so much ass, that if it were a virus, it would have wiped out everyone on Earth. Avenged Sevenfold is TRUE music. Avenged Sevenfold is REAL rock. But beware-listening to "City of Evil" may be hazardous to your health because headbanging will doubtlessly ensue... headbanging so hard that you will puke your guts out from getting so dizzy. Also, their songs range from 5-9 minutes long, a true gem in today's world of rock. M. Shadows (the vocalist) has a hard, coarse voice that can make the most grotesque of people shiver... it's like sandpaper scraping against your eye. XD Also, their drummer, The Rev, is now one of my favorite drummers now, a pure deity. Sometimes it seems like there are machine guns firing rather than him playing the drums. Also, their guitarist, Synister Gates and Zacky Vengeance blow my mind. Let's just say DIRU's Kaoru would most likely come crawling to their doorstep, begging to meet fellow guitar gods. Last but not least, Johnny Christ, is one of the solid, driving forces behind Avenged... I know that a few bassists from America need to take a few lessons from him. >_> Avenged is now one of my favorite bands and "City of Evil" is now one of my favorite albums... if you really want to hear a golden piece of work, BUY AVENGED SEVENFOLD. You won't regret it, I promise. I promised on my black little soul.


'Lo and behold, Avenged Sevenfold. ^-^

Today I have just mostly listened to DIRU and Avenged, play Uno, and practice some Japanese. I was really happy that I was able to read some kanji on one of my DIRU DVDs but whenever I showed my family they merely raised their brow. My dad also said "y'know, one day you're gonna get a life, and you're gonna be soooo happy." I know that it was a joke, and that I shouldn't take it so seriously, but it really hurt my feelings. It's like what I really care about (studying Japanese-I know, it's weird) doesn't matter to him and like it shouldn't matter to me. I started blushing, I felt embarassed and stupid. I stayed in my room for two hours, trying to shake it off. But I still feel embarassed. -_- I don't know why, but it just hurts. I wish I wasn't so sensitive. >_< And last night on "Best Week Ever" the prime minister of Japan did an impression of Elvis (XD) and on "Web Junk 20" they showed a talk show from Japan that has a monkey as a host... I swear, I am gonna find the name of that show and watch it. XD Who can resist monkeys???

Meh... right now I have to go to Blockbuster and see what's going on there... I love you guys and later!!!
+Momo+
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Friday, July 7, 2006

   Tanoshii Tanabata, Minna-san~!
Current Mood: Hopeful
Current Song: Jealous by Dir en Grey

Hello, everyone, and happy Tanabata. In case you don't know, Tanabata is the Japanese festival of the Weaver. It's whenever Orihime (Altair) and Kengyuu (Vega) are able to cross the Milky Way to see each other. They are only able to see each other on the seventh day of the seventh month, because any other day would interfere with their heavenly tasks. Tanabata is normally mostly celebrated in Kansai, the most traditional part of Japan. On this day Japanese normally hang different types of fortunes outside on trees or on strings pulled across the front of their house. These fortunes contain wishes, normally written by the person who hung them, they are not purchased. The most common fortunes are the following-

1. Paper Strips/Tanzaku-Good handwriting and studies
2. Paper Kimono/Kamigoromo-Good sewing (based off an Edo tradition), wards of accidents and bad health
3. Paper Cranes/Orizuru-Family safety, health, and long life
4. Purse/Kinchaku-Good Business
5. Net/Toami-Good fishing and harvests
6. Trash Bag/Kuzukago-Cleanliness and unwastefulness
7. Streamers/Fukinagashi-The strings Orihime weave

This is from a tradition during the Edo period whenever they wrote them down on special leaves. Occasinally chlidren sing special lullabyes while hanging their fortunes. Here is the most traditional one-

"Sasa no ha sara sara

Nokiba ni yureru

Ohoshi-sama kira kira


Kin gin sunago"

The bamboo leaves, rustle, rustle

Shaking away in the eaves

The stars go twinkle, twinkle

Gold and silver grains of sand

On the day after Tanabata at the stroke of midnight, the fortunes are floated down the river while burned, designed after an Obon tradition. Overall, Tanabata is a day of happiness, wishes, and lovers. (If you want more information on Tanabata, visit Wikipedia.com) What do you guys wish for this Tanabata? I personally wish for happiness and good health.



Last night was better than the day before. After I posted I watched a few DIRU interviews, so that cheered me up. There was a really cute one with Toshiya and Die where they were talking about going to Korea... Toshiya said he was looking forward to the food there (XD) and imitated how spicy it was... so cute!!! ^o^ Then I watched an interview with Die and Shinya (it was on some TV show) that had bad quality and where the hosts talked really fast -_-, but I could understand a little. They asked them who they liked (in the band) and Shinya said he liked everyone and Die's and Kaoru's guitar (XD... how sweet!). Then Die being Die asked him "who do you like the most?" Poor little Shinya just said "I like everyone the same!!!" Then Die asked him something about disliking someone and I think sweet Shin-chan said that he dislikes no one. ^//^ He's so adorable!!! I was running low on Kyo so I watched a Kyo interview and understood a little of it. OMFG, I love that man's voice. XD It's so different from his singing voice and it's sounds to cute to be true!!! Anyhow, all that I could understand was talking about how his songs are morbid (he said that sometimes everything doesn't have a happy ending and he wanted to show that) and they talked about the issue of self-abuse. ;_; They showed him backstage after a concert, with a closeup on his chest... I almost started crying whenever I saw it. His chest had scratch marks all over it, there was a bit of blood, and there was a circular mark from where he had forced the microphone into his chest (y'know, how he pretends to stab himself). I wish he would stop. T-T After that I took a nap and had a terrible dream... I dreamt that someone was chasing our family and anywhere we went, he was still there, trying to kill us. And he wanted to kill my brother and my dog the most. I woke up 3 hours later and sat on the couch... my dog jumped on my lap and I started crying whenever she licked my cheek. I guess it just scared me so much I couldn't help it. My mom saw me and I had to tell her that I was feeling bad and I thought it might be because of the Wellbutrin, but it turns out that I do have my normal dosage. Then we ate dinner and watched TV... following that I translated so much Japanese (I translate a few DIRU songs) that I thought my head was gonna explode... literally, I got a headache afterwards. XP I'm such an idiot. I finally went to bed at 2 but didn't get to sleep. I kept on tossing and turning and then I suddenly thought of my dog who died last year... he was 14 years old, almost 15, and my parents had had him since before my brother and I were born. I loved him, I called him my father whenever I was a child. I just thought of him and started reading the entry in my diary from when he died. After reading that, I got one of my Wiccan books and read about death. That made me feel better, and helped me remember that death is not the end, just the beginning. I haven't been terribly religious lately (I haven't been saying my prayers or anything), which I think may contribute to my unhappiness. You see, whenever I'm most in tune with nature and the God and Goddess, I'm the happiest. So I said a prayer and went back to sleep, and it helped. I felt better and I hope that it will help me. I finally fell asleep around 4 in the morning.



Awww... look what my Areina-chan made me!!! Thank you, I wub you, Areina!!! *hugs*


Awww, so cute! ^w^

This morning I woke up and thanked the God for allowing me another wonderful day, which allowed me to become in tune with my solar energy. I feel much better than I did yesterday and the day before, and for that I am thankful. I haven't really done much of anything today other than check out a few Gothic Loli sites, I've only been awake for 2 hours, but that's okay.. it's Friday, so I'll probably stay awake longer. And, it's Tanabata!!! I have to go eat some lunch (It's already 4... -_-) and then I'll probably visit some sites and watch a few D'Ray or Phantasmagoria PVs... I'm deprived of them. ToT Atode, minna-san!!!
+Momo+
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Thursday, July 6, 2006

   I Can't Escape From Myself.
Current Mood: Solemn
Current Song: Mazohyst of Decadence by Dir en Grey

Konnichiwa, Otaku-san. Last night was... odd, to say the least. Well, at least one part was. My family was having a pretty nice night, laughing and cracking jokes and watching funny TV shows, and such things. It was really nice, actually. I played some Uno and made a list of Japanese holidays (Tanabata is coming up, so I had to make a little calendar so I can catch up). I also found out that my cousin (one of the people I look up most to) is pregnant. I was pretty shocked, I couldn't speak for a moment or so. I'm kinda worried about her because she hasn't finished college yet and she hasn't married the father. I just don't want her to deal with all the shit younger mothers have to deal with these days. Around 1, I went to bed... but for some reason I couldn't go to sleep. I tossed and turned for about 45 minutes and then got up to use the bathroom. Whenever I got up, I saw that my father was on AIM but pretended like I didn't see... I used the bathroom, layed back in bed and started panicking. 42-year-old men don't get on AIM at 2 in the morning to chat with friends. So now I have to worry if my father is cheating on my mother or not. All of the sudden, I started crying. I have no idea why. I started thinking of all the things I've screwed up in my life, all the painful memories, and everything that hurts the most. My scars, my memories, my tears. The left side of my pillow felt like someone had spilled a cup of water on it. My eyes were so tired and my face hurt so much... I was also half asleep, that didn't help (not to mention that I had to stay quiet so no one would hear me). I eventually cried myself to sleep.

I don't know what's going on with me lately. I think it may be because I'm only getting half of my normal dosage of Wellbutrin and the fact that I've been pretty much alone all summer. I had a dream of going back to school and my friends barely noticed me... I guess I just feel like I'm on my own. I think I'm gonna have to tell my mom that I need more Wellbutrin.

Yesterday I also got to watch the PV for "Mazohyst of Decadence", because the one of my DIRU DVD is only the censored edition, which is just a few boxes of scenes. -_- Anyhow, I was pretty hypnotized at the disgusting beauty of the concept. An embryo being pulled out of his mother, not even being able to have his first breath. At least I know that Kyo and I share the same views on abortion. I also got pretty pissed at one person's comment-"this is the most boring music video I've ever seen. EVER." That's great... if you don't like it, don't watch it. Don't bust it for the people who enjoy it. Anyhow, I really enjoyed watching it because "Mazohyst of Decadence" is one of my favorite DIRU songs... it's also the creepiest. In fact, the first time I listened to it, I had no idea what it was talking about but it gave me goosebumps anyway. I think that "Embryo" (the single version) might be a spin on "Mazohyst of Decadence" or a sequel... whatever it is, I still like it. From "Embryo" I see an embryo looking out on his life on what he could have been, but never is.

"MAZOHYST OF DECADENCE" BY DIR EN GREY (translation by centrigrade-j)
A child given birth to an adult unconscious of their sin dropped
I never had a name I don't even understand why I am here
and I haven't known my life of just these several months
I want to be loved I want to be born watching inside my mother's body
Its the second month since I gained consciousness, I felt something was too early
. I can't do anyhting yet, meanwhile the cord...

this incomplete me is scraped out, the pain pierces through my body
the voice of my screaming crying mother won't stop screeching in my ears.
The adults in white clothes pull me up, in their eyes full of cold blood,
I relfect bloodstained and without my right arm. They wrap me in black vinyl as is
While my consciousness gradually fades, I quietly think. If this me in the cage could be loved as I am
that would be enough I cant's let this go on
As I am unloved, I'd rather die
So I won't raise my newborn cry I'll quietly sleep
I wanted to see what it was like, just once, to feel a mother's love in my hand
I guess this is love...thank you
a door that can never be opened again has been shut tightly.
but you know what ? I am surely your future.

Lines:
Man: Is this really okay with you ?
Woman: Yes.
Man: How many have you ?
Woman: Just one.
Man: I've killed countless children. Is this really permissable ? I'll ask again. Is this really okay with you ?
Are you prepared ?
Woman: Yes
Man: Then let us begin.

my body will be burned until the bones are gone it'll burn

"EMBRYO" (SINGLE VERSION) BY DIR EN GREY (translation by centrigrade-j)
Yes, give me back all those I loved, the unchanging, the rotting, and the dying ones.
Yes, those being given birth to, those giving birth, those who sin,
human suffering begins from this time.

the faces of those who are dying seem so happy,
the faces of those being born seem so sad
Bye Bye Mother.
People in this society build nothing.
People of this society hurt each other unknowingly
I am alone.

Without a face the crowd gathers and sucks me in.

Look, my heart now being crushed feels like it's about to tear apart
I just wanna be held in warm hands and sleep.

My Sweet Mother smile, in the end let me sleep warmly
Deadly Sweet Mother smile, in the nighttime I'm going to sleep holding the pain.

No, there's no freedom, in freedom there's a wall of freedom,
return those I loved to me
Yes, in deciding the rules, those who decided them, by doing so, lose their freedom.

the faces of those who are dying seem so happy,
the faces of those being born seem so sad
Bye Bye Mother.
People in this society build nothing.
People of this society hurt each other unknowingly
I am alone.

My Sweet Mother smile, in the end let me sleep warmly
Deadly Sweet Mother smile, in the nighttime I hold the pain
My Sweet Mother smile, in the end let me sleep warmly
Deadly Sweet Mother smile, let me be free to say goodbye in the end.



Meh. I don't know what I'm gonna do now. Maybe watch some PVs. Maybe take a nap. Maybe study some Japanese. Whatever. I need more happy.
+Momo+
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Wednesday, July 5, 2006

   Wasuretai Desu...
Current Mood: Regretful
Current Song: All The Things She Said by tAtU

Konnichiwa, minna-san. How was everyone's 4th of July? Mine was descent enough, but not quite patriotic. All we did was do what we would normally do on a weekend. After we went to go see "Superman Returns" we came back home and ate some pizza while watching "Glory Road." It was a really good movie, but it made me really sad and really angry. Why, you ask? It's quite simple, my friends... it wasn't just about basketball-it was about racism. The basketball team had whites, blacks, and Hispanics on the team and people were angry about it. I don't understand how someone can hate people because of the color of their skin... I honestly can't understand how people can do that. No matter how many people try to explain it to me or how many times I try to play it over in my head, I just don't get it. I don't give a fuck if you're black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Indian, mixed, or whatever-I care about who you are. One day I hope that people won't notice skin color. I just want everyone to love each other, no matter what. I just want peace. I'm tired of all this shit... I'm tired of war, I'm tired of death, I'm tired of discrimination. I'm tired of tears.

After my parents went to bed and my brother fell asleep on the couch, I got on the computer and watched me some AX TV. :3 I watched DIRU's part 1, 2, and 4 of AX TV and I had to cover my mouth to stop myself from giggling. XD On AX TV Part 4 Shinya was the one who did most of the talking (yay!!! I love his voice! :D) and it was really cute because everyone else other than Toshiya wasn't really paying any attention. XD It was really cute because Shinya and Toshiya kept on making each other giggle, it was really sweet. ^//^ I just wanna give them a big ol' hug. And Kyo must have been smoking something before hand because he was staring off camera and suddenly stood up and yelled "oi!" but then sat back down and stared of into space. Oo Poor Kyo-san. And then Kaoru put his hand behind Kyo's head and started messing with him. XD I think Die was a little scared, he kept on staring at Kao-chan like "WTF ARE YOU DOING????" On AX TV Part 1 I kept on "awww"ing because they would have close ups of Kyo... he's so beautiful. >_< And then he did his stoner smile and made me laugh out loud, my brother woke up and glared at me then went back to sleep. XD Yeah, I suck. Then I watched the PV for "DRAIN AWAY"... for some reason, I love the fact that Die wrote that song. I think it might be because Shinya has a tiny little solo at the beginning, and that means that Die realizes how talented Shinya is and really values it. ^3^ They're all like a bunch of brothers, it's so sweet... I love DIRU. XD (I bet you guys didn't know that... X3333 yeah, right.)



Last night I had another dream about Zakuro. God, I wish I could forget. It hurts so much to remember, I just want to scratch out the past four years. It pains me so much that I can barely cry about it anymore. I hate the mirror everytime I think of it.

Like so many other days, nothing much has gone on really today. I tried to put up a Die layout, but it felt too weird... I had to find another Kyo one. XD Gomen nasai, Die-kun!!! I still love you!!! ToT Ah, I can't really think of anything to say and I need to get off pretty soon. I love you guys, and thanks for listening! <3

Um... here's a survey thing. ^^;

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Momo... you stalker. >_<
Birthday:	10/26/91
Birthplace:	In A Hospital
Current Location:	In my house
Eye Color:	Hazel
Hair Color:	Brown
Height:	5'4'
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right handed
Your Heritage:	European
The Shoes You Wore Today:	NONE! :3
Your Weakness:	Kyo. XD
Your Fears:	World War 3.
Your Perfect Pizza:	Cheese... need I say more?
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Go see DIRU in concert. -_-
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	LMAO
Thoughts First Waking Up:	"I wanna go back to sleep..."
Your Best Physical Feature:	My eyes... they're my ONLY good feature.
Your Bedtime:	Whenever I feel like it!!! :D
Your Most Missed Memory:	Not having to worry about things.
Pepsi or Coke:	Coke, Pepsi's too sweet. >_<
MacDonalds or Burger King:	McDonalds, they have fruit salads. ^-^
Single or Group Dates:	Single, I don't like being around a lot of people.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	I hate iced tea. XP
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate. ^3^
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Cappuccino... coffee sucks. ><
Do you Smoke:	No
Do you Swear:	Fuck yes.
Do you Sing:	Yes
Do you Shower Daily:	Yes
Have you Been in Love:	Yes... unfotunately. -_-
Do you want to go to College:	Yes, I don't wanna grow up to be an idiot.
Do you want to get Married:	Not really.
Do you belive in yourself:	You're kidding, right?
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Sometimes
Do you think you are Attractive:	Bwahahaha!!! Yeah, when hell freezes over.
Are you a Health Freak:	Not really.
Do you get along with your Parents:	Most of the time.
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Yes.
Do you play an Instrument:	Yes, the viola although I want to play a few others.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	No
In the past month have you Smoked:	No
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	No, I'm pretty anti-drug.
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	No
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	No
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	No (although they are quite tasty :3)
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	No, I's a vegetarian.
In the past month have you been on Stage:	Nope.
In the past month have you been Dumped:	I've never been dumped.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	No, I've never gone.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	No.
Ever been Drunk:	No.
Ever been called a Tease:	Yeah... right.
Ever been Beaten up:	Nope, I've never been in a fight (in case you call me punching a guy a few times a fight)
Ever Shoplifted:	... yes. *hides*
How do you want to Die:	Happily.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	The first gaijin female J-rocker or a psychiatrist.
What country would you most like to Visit:	You're kidding, right... everyone knows that. JAPAN.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	Blue or green.
Favourite Hair Color:	Black or brown.
Short or Long Hair:	Long hair, it's uber cute. ^o^
Height:	A little taller than me.
Weight:	That doesn't really matter.
Best Clothing Style:	Alternative, goth-ish.
Number of Drugs I have taken:	None... I don't plan on taking any.
Number of CDs I own:	More than 20. XD
Number of Piercings:	None, but I want "a few." 9_9
Number of Tattoos:	None, but, once again, I want a few. *bwahahahaha*
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	Too many to count... my sins are erasable.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

+Momo+
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Tuesday, July 4, 2006

   C'mon, You Crazy Bitch
Current Mood: Content
Current Song: Crazy Bitch by Buck Cherry

Konbanwa, minna-san, to tanoshii fousu ofu jurai. Yesterday was pretty nice. ^-^ It was my dad's birthday so we went to a tubing place where you would float down a river in an intertube. It was about an 1 1/2-2 hour drive up there and I got to listen to VULGAR and daydream about DIRU. XD I'm such a dork. I think I scared my parents while I was headbanging to "Marmalade Chainsaw", "OBSCURE" and while I thrashed to "Childprey." @.@ And I kept on giggling madly during "Marmalade Chainsaw" whenever Kyo said "suck me"... I guess it's because I know a few people (including me) who would gladly beg to. XD Once we got to the tubing place we ate a nice picnic lunch from Subway (yummy veggie subs ^-^) and I had to wait about an hour until the people we were tubing with came and then we had to wait another half an hour to get on a bus to get to the river. -_- And on the bus all the little kids there were asking me what my favorite color was and asking me if I wanted to hear my cheer... for some reason little kids LOVE me. I have no idea why... they don't give a fuck about my appearance, they always smile at me and walk over until their parents realize they're walking towards a chick dressed in black with heavy eyeliner. XD But anyways, I was able to get away from the little kids and started to float down the river... I practiced singing "DRAIN AWAY"... it's my favorite DIRU song and it's just so beautiful... I think my parents got kinda annoyed that I kept on singing and talking in Japanese to myself... but they should be used to that by now. XD I also daydreamed about Kyo... like many of my dreams, 'tis far too vulgar for MyO's little community. ^.~ The scenery was gorgeous, there were little bushes of flowers along the river and the sound of the flowing water was so gorgeous... the sky was a beautiful jewel, the clouds were water paintings, and the breeze was as soft as a baby's breath. It was wonderful. ^-^ But then one of the kids caught up with me and was worried about snakes biting her. -.- So I comforted her and told her it was alright and that I wouldn't let a snake bite her... but then she wouldn't go away and kept on talking and talking and talking and talking. >_< She also wanted to pick a flower... I told her not to and I almost got in trouble for letting her try to do it... she's not my fucking kid. >M< Leave me alone!!! So once we stopped I floated away from her and got to dream about Kyo-san and me again... X3 *sighs* Tengoku! After that we ate watermelon and cake and then went back home. There all I did was play Uno and make a few paper cranes. Dad and I got to watch the newest episode of "The Venture Brothers", which rocked. \m/ I got to play with my brother's rabbit... he started running around in circles around me and snorting... he always does that when he's happy. ^^; Our dog started to get jealous, though, she stared at him like she wanted him to die. And while I was playing with him there was a bug that looked like a dust mite... I knew that if he got near any of our pets it would hurt them... so I had to put him on a piece of paper and flush him down the toilet. ToT I hate killing anything, even bugs... to me, every life is precious, no matter how small. I still feel guilty for it. ;_;


I dream of sex (with Kyo) all day long... XD

Today was alright... my brother came back home from camping. They guy he went camping with has a crush on me... -.- He's 13, but looks like he's 8. XD It's really sweet, but I'm just not interested. His friend game me a stuffed tiger (awww...) so I gave him two hugs and he was happy. X_X We ate at a Thai restaraunt that has a REEEEEAAAALLY cute Asian boy who works there... one of the two I've ever seen in this state. -3- He has a really clean complexion, short-ish black hair, dark brown eyes, and an adorable smile... I also can't forget his sweet little accent. ^o^ Dad calls him "Mr. Butterfly Lashes" because he has really long, cute eyelashes. ^//^ Unfortunately, Mr. Butterfly Lashes wasn't working there today. TToTT Woe to me. But I was able to order soy sauce noodles with tofu... it was the first time I ever tasted tofu, but if was pretty good!!! It kinda tasted like chicken and the noodles and eggs, but Mom said that was because it imitated the flavor of anything it's cooked with. The texture kinda freaked me out, but I guess I could get used to it over time. It was really good, I didn't think I would like it... but I did. Try it sometime! After that we went to go see one of the movies I have wanted to see so badly... "Superman Returns"!!! Whooot!!! I won't reveal anything, but I will tell you the following-Superman is FINE (he's got really pretty eyes and a lucious bod XD), there's a sweet little kid, Cyclops from "X-Men" plays a character in it, and there are some awesome action sequences. And the actor who plays Superman had to wear a crotch reducer because he's so gifted between his legs. I was staring holes at the screen, I feel so dirty... -_- But c'mon, he's SUPERMAN!!! Every man wants to be him and every woman (and some men) want to be WITH him. You can't really blame me. XD


O//O...

I want to thank everyone who helped comfort me yesterday in my time of emo-ness... I guess it is true, but everyone has those moments of self-doubt, you know? I just hope Kyo feels the way you guys said. Thanks for all the nice comments. ^-^

Oh, yeah. Happy birthday to Gackt.

I gots to go, it's pizza time. Yummy. ^o^ Later, I love you guys, and Happy Fourth of July!!!
+Momo+
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Monday, July 3, 2006

   Not-So-Short Update
Current Mood: Content
Current Song: Mr. Newsman by Dir en Grey

I took a nap and Daddy's back and everything is back to normal... y'know, except for my brother not being here. ;_; Don't tell anyone that I miss him, though. XD Dad had bought me and my brother a Naruto Konoha headband and I wore it for a while... Mom made fun of me for it and died laughing whenever I said "a ninja's gotta eat." X3 I'm such a dork. He also brought back a newspaper called "Janime" and has stuff on anime, Japanese culture, Japanese music, cosplay, all kinds of stuff. And guess who was featured in the music section? DIR EN GREY, BITCHES!!! ^O^ WhoooT!! *dances* They had a few pictures (most of them of Kyo, shirtless *drools*) from the concert in New York... they interviewed a few fans and security guards... I died laughing whenever one guard said "the lead singer is half my size but has about three times my energy. Make sure he hears that." XD I'm sure Kyo would really appreciate that comment. And one guy caught Shinya's drumstick... lucky fuck. I would love to have got it. ToT And they also had a little interview but they didn't really say much. -_- I'm still really sad that DIRU isn't coming to my state for the damn Family Values Tour... I feel like someone grabbed hold of my heart and ripped it out. *crawls up in a ball on the floor in her emo little world* Anyhow, I'm really happy that Dad's back and I got myself a Naruto headband and a DIRU article. ^-^


So hot.... >w<

I also got to watch the PV for "Jessica" (such a cute song ^-^) and I found pictures of Shinya with Miyu!!! I showed Mom a little bit of Shinya's part of AX TV and thought Miyu was adorable but suprised at how tiny he was... washing him in the sink. ^-^ Too cute!!! :3


Little Miyu...


...And Shinya. ^3^

For some reason I've felt kinda emo today... like whenever I was making some paper cranes (for the 1000 paper cranes for Kyo) I suddenly thought it was useless. And I felt slightly hypocritical. Who am I to tell Kyo what to do? And what will my opinion matter to him? I'm just another fangirl to him... he doesn't care. I felt alone right there. Because to me, Kyo is who I look up to the most and who I want to be... he's my everything. And to know that he doesn't care... it hurts. I don't know, it's stupid and fangirl-ish of me. When that hit me, I thought of how I'll never meet Kyo, or any celebrity I love, for that matter. I felt hollow. All I was able to do is sit back and let it seep in... it really hurt. It seems like everyone I care about is either too far away or/and has no feelings for me back. I just wanna dream in my own little world and forget about my troubles.

*sighs* Emo enough for you? Iouno... maybe I'm just tired even though it's only 1 in the morning and I already took a nap. I think something's fucked in my head.
+Momo+
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Sunday, July 2, 2006

   Pokki wa Hoshii Desu... TToTT
Current Mood: Needy
Current Song: Stitches by Orgy

Meh... nothing has really gone on today, and it could be the fact that I've only been up for about two hours...XD But sleep is GOOOOD.

Last night after I posted I went on my second favorite website-YouTube.com!!! Whoooo!!! Of course, I looked up on DIRU and I watched the "[KR] Cube" PV and (my favorite DIRU clip) AX TV Part 2. I can't find part 1... ToT But anyhow, it was sooo adorable. Kaoru just had a drink with the camera man (Kao has the sexiest voice but he mumbles and I can't understand a word he says -.-), Die had the camera man follow him in the bathroom while he took a leak (I wish he would've showed us something while his pants were unzipped XD) and watched the sunset rise on the beach, Shinya took a bath and gave Miyu (one of his adorable little doggies) a bath and tried to fly a kite on a non-windy day (XD), Toshiya went to Nagoya and played Tekken at an arcade (also there he told a fan that what he was doing was gonna be on TV and freaked the hell out of him) and visited some guy's apartment, and Kyo watched "Star Wars" while eating Pocky. My favorites were Kyo and Shinya... they were both so freakin adorable!!! >w< Shinya has the cutest voice and a boy who loves his dog that much just makes my heart melt. ^-^ If he weren't Areina's, I would so glomp him. XD And Kyo sounded so sleepy (poor thing) and he looked sooooooooo adorable with the Pocky in his mouth!!! I wanted to give him a big ol' hug. ^o^ Then I watched some MXC, made some paper cranes (I made a total of 20 -.-), and went to bed.


Aww... he looks so sleepy.

Speaking of Pocky, I miss Japanese snacks... *sniffs* We have strawberry and chocolate Pocky at the Asian section of our Wallmart, but that's it... before Media Play shut down, it had Pocky and Ramune and this type of candy that tasted like real ice cream... I miss it so. ToT I want a Lotte in my town sooooo bad, the closest one is an hour away and in a ghetto. I want Lotte's ume gum, ume candy, orange juice (for some reason it tastes better than the American type, it's more juicy), banana Pocky, Haichu, and ginger-flavored ramen. Lotte also had videos, books, toys, CDs, magazines, and lots and lots of food... and it wasn't all Japanese, there was Korean, Chinese, Hmong, Vietnamese, Taiwanese, and all types of things from Asian countries everywhere. *sighs* Lotte is my world.


Ume.... ToT

Today I helped my mom bake a cake for my daddy's birthday... and I NEVER cook. I just mixed in all the ingredients while Mom put things in. XD Everytime I cook I think of little Kai-kun (from Gazetto)... he loves to cook but people say he's not very good... poor thing. We also gotta pick up my daddy's OTHER cake from Sam's Club and buy him "The Venture Brothers" or Avenged Sevenfold's "City of Evil." Daddy's gonna come home tonight (thank God... he'll save me from the Food Netword, HGTV, and Lifetime). I've missed him. ToT Then tommorow we're going to go rafting for his birthday... nothing all that special but he doesn't really like to do anything for his birthday.

Okay, I am done posting for today. I probably won't post tommorow, so don't expect me. Later, my loves!
+Momo+
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Saturday, July 1, 2006

   Popcicle Cannibals
Current Mood: Unknown
Current Song: Where's Gerald? by Orgy

Ah, alas. Today has been an Orgy-tastic day. XD But not in the way I'm leading you to think. I've been listening to one of my altime favorite bands today, called Orgy. They put the electric back in electric guitar. ^3^ Anyhow, they're kinda an electronic type of rock.. think NIN except a little softer with more electronics. With Amir's great ear for music and Jay's haunting voice and cryptic lyrics, Orgy is definately worth checking out. I think their best album is "Vapor Transmission", then "Candyass", and finally "Punk Statik Paranoia" (which really doesn't sound anything like Orgy). I really recommend "Vapor Transmission" and "Candyass" for authentic Orgy. Also, if you like Orgy, check out Amir's (and I THINK Jay's in it too) side band called Julein-K, they're really electronic too. My dad's been to one of their concerts and he said it was so loud that his clothes moved. XD I don't really recommend searching for any of their music videos, I've only found two, one for "Stitches" and one for "Fiction (Dreams In Digital)" (my favorite song!!! ^o^). BUT, I do really think that they're definately checking out. In fact, Orgy is my third favorite band. (Momo's favorite bands are Dir en grey, Nine Inch Nails, and Orgy) So check them out!!! >.<



I'd like to apologize for my comment on AFI yesterday. That was pretty mean of me. Okay, that was BITCHY of me. I shouldn't diss people like that. ;_; And... *winces* To tell the truth, I KINDA like the part of "Miss Murder" whenever he screams. >_O So, please, accept my apology.

I watched "Ultraviolet" yesterday and didn't really like it... I'd give it a 3 out of 5 at best. I will say nothing more in case someone here liked the movie.

OMG, today has been SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO effing boring. My dad has gone to a comic con for the weekend and my brother went camping until Tuesday, so me and my mom have had the whole weekend to ourselves. Okay, I can list to you the highlights of my day.

WHAT MOMO HAS DONE TODAY
1. Wake up
2. Take a shower
3. Make paper cranes
4. Play GameBoy
5. Eat
6. Drink
7. Use the bathroom
8. Walk
9. Pet the dog
10. Breathe

-_- That basically sums it up. Pretty sad, huh? I've made about 17 paper cranes today. >.> I usually make only 5 paper cranes a day (for Kyo-san, I'm sending them to him in hope that he will stop hurting himself) but I was really bored and wanted to take my mind off of some negative thoughts, so that's what I did. And now my thumbs and forefingers suffer. XP I played some Uno on my GameBoy (UNO. Come on. Who plays that on their GameBoy???) and I killed the computer. I'm telling you, I FUCK the computer in the ass when it comes to Uno. XD I kid, I kid, my friends. I also went to Wallmart to get some stuff for my dad... he wants Avenged Sevenfold's album "City of Evil" (as do I... X3) and season one of "The Venture Brothers." They had "City of Evil", except it was the edited version. I almost cussed the poor little CD case out. XD And the didn't have "The Venture Brothers." Since they didn't have that, I decided I would listen to a little of Three Days Grace's "One-X" but their damn computers were down so I couldn't do that. Fuggin Wallmart. >_< Then we went to Sam's Club and I got a big ass soda that I drank too fast and got a tummy ache. XP Stupid me. Then I sat at home and watched the Food Network and HGTV, some of my mom's favorite TV channels... I was getting ready to shoot myself in the head with one of the nail guns they were using. -.- So I made more paper cranes. And played some more Uno. Then we went to IHOP and I got sick from eating a cheese omelet... they put WAAAAAAAY too much cheese in it, I thought I was gonna puke... and usually I can eat enough cheese to constapate a whale. XD So I ate some pancakes with strawberry syrup. YUMMY! ^-^ And then I walked the dog with Mom for half an hour. And here I am. God, my life is boring. >_< I suck.


I like waffles better. XP

Lately I've been thinking of Zakuro and it eats me inside out. I want to die when I think of it. Somehow it seems like it's all my fault. Sometimes I think I just should have gone along and let her have him... I should played along and let me get manipulated. Now I stuck with nothing and no one. I feel so alone sometimes that I want to scream.

*sighs* I'm bored. And hungry. I think I'm gonna watch some PVs and eat some carrot sticks. Woe to me.
+Momo+
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Friday, June 30, 2006

   This Animal I Have Become
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace

Wuz crackin, homies? XD Sorry, I've been watching IMF (International Music Feed... you know the channel with Hyde I talked about yesterday?) all day and it has all types of music genres, including rap, so I'm all wangsta'd out today. XD I'm such a fuggin dork. Anyhow, it has paid off for watching it all day. I got to see Three Days Grace's new music video for "Animal I Have Become!!!" Whooo!!! But I am sad. ;_; The lead singer, who used to have dirty blonde hair that was always spiked up, dyed his hair black and flattened it out... he used to be sooo hot. ToT I mean, he's still decent to look at, but he used to be orgasmic!!! When I saw Three Days Grace in concert I thought I was gonna bust. XD Anyhow, they've also altered their style... it's not grungy punk anymore, it's more Victorian "goth" style... but their music remains untouched. Thank God... I loooooooove Three Days Grace. *huggles CD* I want their new CD, "One-X" so bad that I can taste the anticipation in the air. And it tastes like soy chicken, my friends. Soy chicken. XD I also got to see this cute Taiwanese band called Yummy but I didn't really like the music, it was kidna rapp-ish and not the kinda rap I like. BUT, I did see one Japanese pop star I like and thought was kawaii... her name is Kitade Nana and I saw the PV for "Indeliable Sin." It's pretty pop-ish and I like her hair. :3 Those are really the only three things that are good about this... cause there are a lot of bands I hate on this channel. LIke there's one REALLY sucky wannabe rock band on that just whine. Like AFI. *shudders* (I'm gonna get so many hate comments for that... but you know what, AFI fans, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I express my opinion. You can think that Dir en Grey thinks, that's fine. Not my problem.) I'm seriously considering changing the channel but I keep on wondering if DIRU is gonna come on... oh, God. It's 30 Seconds To Mars... ;-; I am sorry, DIRU. If you come on, I shall miss you.


Old Three Days Grace (I don't have a new pic of them-gomen ne!!!)

Jujuju... oh, yeah. Have I told you guys that I've learned how to sing "DRAIN AWAY" and "The Final" (both by DIRU) in a month? Yay!!! Go me!! I can sing my favorite DIRU songs! Yay! XD But seriously... "DRAIN AWAY" is my favorite Dir en Grey song. It's so sad but beautiful... and the girl in the song reminds me of me... except for the beautiful part. -.- It reminds me of me because my face looks sad most of the time, I have long hair and hide my face (sometimes tears) with it, and I let people take control of me. The PV for it kicks ass. ^-^ The girl in it is simply gorgeous... whenever she smiles, it's like WHOA. I can't really describe it... it's like the blooming sakura on the early morning. :D And everyone's outfits are so cool... AND KYO WEARS A SKIRT!!! XD I want Toshiya's shirt, it's so awesome. It's a plain white long sleeved shirt with a splatter of blood on the right side of his chest, like someone shot him in the heart. I'm thinking of making one. X3

DRAIN AWAY by Dir en Grey (translation by centigrade-j)
the pressed flower recalls memories in the evening sky
to that time, when I would count on my fingers, the days until we met.
in the good ol' days of clear blue skies the broken dream and
to my sorrow, the endless evidence of my crime,
one night voiceless is Spring.

drowining in the evening, when it was still cold
I saw the early blossoming cherry blossoms
and there she stood underneath them, but that's an old story.
in those days she was lovely and so very beautiful
and yet something about her face seemed sad,
you see, she was hiding the tears of the dusk behind that long hair

this place reflects you and even the many things I'd forgotten
you, fragile and drained of color, and the monochrome scars.
in the good ol' days of clear blue skies the broken dream and
what's sinful is I caught a glimpse of,
the one night Spring in which vice groaned within.

The show booth

I saw you, in the cold daybreak,
still letting others control you, unable to do anything,
the tears trickling down your face, like flower petals.

the pressed flower recalls the memories in the evening sky
to that time, when I would count on my fingers, the days until we met.
under the blossoming cherry blossoms behind the booth illuminated in the dusk
if only if only for now the scars you hide behind your sleeves would disappear
in the good ol' days of clear blue skies the broken dream and
to my sorrow, the endless evidence of my crime,
one night voiceless is Spring.


Die, Kaoru, Kyo, and...


...and Toshiya and Shinya.

I'm watching "Spongebob Squarepants" right now... I hardly ever tell anyone that I watch it, so keep it on the low-down. XD Ooh, "X-Play"'s coming on soon!!! YAY!!! ^o^ Adam and Morgan always make my day more cynical. XD Atode, aijin!
+Momo+
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Thursday, June 29, 2006

   I Love To Say F-U-C-K.
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: I Love To Say Fuck by Murderdolls

Hello, my patient little darlings. ^-^ Yesterday was better than most days and it was only because of a small change. My dears, the answer to a happier life is... MORE KYO. XD Yesterday I watched about 10 Kyo fanvids and it made my day all the more better. And I got a whole lot of music into my system. XD I listened to Tom Jones, Britney Spears, System of a Down, Murderdolls, Nine Inch Nails, DJ Alligator, Maddonna, The Pussycat Dolls, and some other people I'm too lazy to remember. XD My favorite songs I heard though were "Sexbomb" my Tom Jones, "Screw You" by DJ Alligator, and "I Love To Say Fuck" by Murderdolls (and I'm not gonna mention SOAD and NIN because you guys already know I love them ^-^). Last night I went on a fuck saying frenzy... XD I never realized how much I love that word until I said it. XD

WORD SURVEY
1. What's your favorite English word?
2. What's your favorite English swear word?
3. What's your favorite English dirty word?
4. What's your favorite Japanese word?
5. What's your favorite Japanese swear word?
6. What's your favorite Japanese dirty word?

MOMO'S ANSWERS
1. Amber. ^-^
2. FUCK. What did you think?
3. Fuck... although dick is pretty good to. XD
4. Sakura. So pretty!!! ^//^
5. Chinpoko... it's sooooo cute sounding. X3
6. Hameru... you DON'T wanna know what it means.

Aaahhh, Kyo is too sexy for his own damn good. He should really stop molesting himself and licking microphone stands. I think my computer's tired of it raping it. XDDD Poor computer. I'm very sad, though... there will be no live DIRU for Momo. ToT Yes, it is true... I shall be deprived of my dear Kyo-san live. The Family Values Tour is not in my state. *sobs* There is no reason to live anymore... *bangs head against a pile of broken glass on a concrete floor* I guess I'll just wait until a couple of more years until I can see them live. *sobs and pulls shard of glass out of her eye* Maybe then I'll be legal in both America and Japan. XDDD (18 in America and 20 in Japan)


No Kyo for Momo-chan... *sniffles*

I got to watch "Jackass" again last night! Yay! ^-^ I love that show but I've seen most of them. Dammit. >_< Right now I am watching no other than the hottie Criss Angel. I mean, he's magic, he's "goth" (if you will), and he smokin' hawt. XD If I were to meet Criss Angel I'd probably drown in my own pool of drool. XP On Season One it was sooo sweet... there was a little girl, probably around 10 and she was standing in a crowd watching Criss. She was staring at him like he was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen... and then he said "I need someone to hold my jacket while I do this trick." He looked at the little girl and asked her to hold it and she smiled like someone had told her she was the most beautiful thing they had ever seen. While he was doing the trick she hugged the jacket and snuggled it, it was so sweet. Then he gave her a hug. ^//^ Why do little girls have to be so sweet and adorable? Also, today, my brother taped something for me on IMF (International Music Feed) because it was Japanese. Whenever I woke up I watched it and guess what it was? "Season's Call" by Hyde!!! I was so happy. I don't listen to a lot of Hyde, but it means alot whenever they play Japanese music in America. ^-^ I've also heard A.I. and Thee Michelle Gun Elephant from IMF. Yay!!!


My brother said that Hyde kinda looked like a gaijin. What do you guys think?

Gah, I'm hungry but we have NOTHING new to eat and I'm tired of eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. -_- I want some ramen... and we do have some ramen, but it's chicken. AND I'M A VEGETARIAN!!! *cries* It mocks me. I gotta go get something to eat... probably a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
+Momo+
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