Tuesday, June 6, 2006

   Gaah, Boredness...
Current Mood: Bored/Impatient
Current Song: Children by Dir en Grey

God, NOTHING is going on here... it's the same thing everyday. I wish school would just hurry up and be over.

There was the cutest little apple juice (reminds me of Kai-kun ^_____^) box and I wanted to keep it with me but Korki crushed it... ;_; My poor little kawaii apple juice box.


Aw... Kai even looks cute with a gun. ^-^

I started working on the second part of my Dir en Grey fanfic with Areina-chan and Oneechan in it... about half-way done. XD


Hotness... *drools*

I gotta go talk to Areina-chan and watch MadTV... by the way, Blaized, it didn't offend me about what you said about Gazetto... I know what you mean.. I think you have to be sexually confused to be a J-rocker. XD I love you guys and sorry for such a short post, but like I said, nothing ever goes on here. Laterz.
+Momo+
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Monday, June 5, 2006

   Your Reason For This Life...
Current Mood: Happy/Sleepy
Current Song: Mad Marble Hell Vision by Gazetto

Hello, everyone~! Today has been pretty typical... the only thing really different is an upcoming obsession I'm getting. ^-^ I know you guys probably hate how fangirl-ish I am and how much I rant on about bands, but please remember that I love these bands with all my hearts and are spreading their popularity-so don't be hating! >_< Right now I'm really interested in the J-rock band Gazetto (or Gazette, but I prefer the Japanese way). So far I've only listened to "Mad Marble Hell Vision, Anata No Tame Kono Inochi, No. 666, Zetsu, Reila, Wakaremichi, Ruder, Miseinen, and Shadow VI III I." My favorite member (who I also think is the hottest) so far is Ruki, the vocals, because you guys know that I love a guy who can screech at the top of his lungs. ^^ I think Kai is the cutest/sweetest, he makes me want to jump up and down while sqealing whenever I think about him. XD He's just so cute... I mean, he prefers apple juice to alcohol and moans "sleepy..." on tours. ^-^ (Is it just me or am I becoming more and more Japanese-school-girl crazed-like everyday? O_o) And I think the prettiest member is Uruha, cause I mean, look at him! He's beautiful! ^^ I really like their sound, it's really abrasive and can have soft, gently music whenever they want. Their lyrics can be really pretty too, especially in "Reila"... that song is so sad. ;_; If anyone knows of a good Gazetto site, please, PLEASE let me know!!!


Ruki (Vo.)


Uruha (Lead Gu.)


Aoi (Gu.)


Reita (Ba.)


Kai (Dr.)

Everything else has been pretty average today... things seem to be slowing down now that it's the end of the school year... I can't wait until I get out and go to see Nine Inch Nails. -_- "Angels & Demons" is really good... even though I'm only an eigth grader, I can understand all the science stuff (when it's one of my worst subjects), so that makes me feel smart. ^^ It's really good and I look forward to reading more of it... thank God for summer break. -_-'
+Momo+
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Sunday, June 4, 2006

   Imaginary...
Current Mood: Bored
Current Song: Imaginary by Evanescence

Ugh, I'm so bored. Nothing has happened today. -_- I suppose I could go read "Angels & Demons", but I don't feel like reading. I don't feel like playing DDR either. I feel like doing something that I don't do everyday, like go out with my friends. I think I'm just gonna go to sleep... how exciting. XD But just six more days till the Nine Inch Nails concert~! ^-^ That makes me happy. Today I went to Target and I feel a pit in my wallet. There was a lot of stuff that I want there, that will probably add up to more than what I really have. ;_; There was a shirt there that was blue with a skull and flowers ($10), a Sonia Kushiak (sp?) angled eyeliner brush ($10), an eyeshadow blender brush ($2), some creamy black eyeshadow ($6), a pair of oversizes sunglasses ($20-GOOD LORD!), and a pyramid stud belt ($12). T-T I suck cause I don't have any money!!! I think I'm just gonna get the t-shirt and eyeshadow because I barely have enough money and it takes forever to earn back and I hate whenever my parents buy me something, it makes me feel guilty. ;_; I'm screwed. >_< I think I'm gonna go take that lovely nap I was speaking of earlier. Well, hugs and kisses, and I shall see you later!


Is it just me or does Ruki-chan look like Kyo in this pic? O_O

+Momo+
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Saturday, June 3, 2006

   Kururi, Fururi, Kuwari, Kurakurai!
Current Mood: Happy/Bored
Current Song: [KR] Cube by Dir en Grey

Hewo, everyone! ^^ Sorry I didn't post yesterday, but I was kinda busy. Yesterday was reaally fun and actually made me happy to be at school. *gaspeth* Anyhow, we got our yearbooks (and my picture sucks, as always) and got to have yearbook signing. It was really fun although the hallway stunk like B.O. and was overwhelmingly hot from all the body heat. >_O Disgusting, I know, but it was worth it to sign all my friends yearbooks. ^-^ My favorite signature was from Carley, she is so sweet. ^^ It said "Hey, it's me, Carley. I know we had our ups and downs," (meaning my, Momo's, emotional problems) "but I'm so glad I met you, I love you, and you mean so much to me." It made me feel all warm and special, like someone really, TRULY does love me. ^//^ I felt kinda tacky though because I wrote long, meaningful messages in everyone's yearbook when people wrote inside jokes and short messages in mine.. oh, well. -_- It was hilarious though because this guy named Xzavier who says's that I'm his baby's momma (XD) came up and was like "Baby, will you sign this for me, please?" I laughed and put down "I love you, baby, and I'll make sure to say hi to your son for you." He went, "aw, that's my baby!!!" and hugged me, it was so funny. XD I mean, it's not that often you see a guy who carries a Bloods flag in his backpocket calling some "goth" Japanese-obsessed chick his baby's momma. Last night I went to go see "The DaVinci Code" with Carley, Miranda, Cliff, Luis, Chase, Cole, and Rachel last night, which was tons of fun even though I didn't really get to talk to anyone that much. ;_; The movie was REALLY good and you don't have to be a Christian to enjoy it. I'll have to watch it again though because Chase liked to scream at the top his lungs whenever he talked to Cliff and I got annoyed whenever a couple one seat away from me started making out. (GET A ROOM! >_< Other people have to sit in those seats, too!) Because I liked it so much I started reading "Angels & Demons", the prelude to "The DaVinci Code" (which I plan to read as soon as I'm done with "Angels & Demons"). On the previews they had once again, another remake of a J-Horror movie. It's called "Pulse", hardcore J-Horror fans will know what I'm talking about. I haven't watched it yet, but I've heard it's really good, although the American preview didn't look all that scary or good. >_< During the previews Luis kept on eating my popcorn/dinner. XD I also came up with names for the little Build A Bear Workshop toys from McDonalds I get in my happy meals (yes, I still get happy meals -_-). The frog is Kaechan (Kaeru= Frog), the black bear is Kuuchan (Kuro= Black), the white bear is Yuuchan (Yuki= Snow), and the brown bear is Chokochan (Chokoreeto= Chocolate). ^^ Kawaii desu, ne???


Although the teddy bears are cute, Kyo-kun is 10x cuter. ^-^

All I really did today was participate in an Aikido tournament (I'm brown belt) and win 3rd place in the kata portion and recieve a medal for good sportsmanship. One of my friends broke his toe but still won overall 3rd place (basically to win overall, all you had to do was spar but I hate fighting and suck at it because I don't want to hit/hurt anyone. ;_;). Alot of little kids were crying because they didn't win. -_- I'm glad I'm older now. Other than that, I just watched DIRU's "Filth", "Childprey" and "[KR] Cube" PVs, three works of ART. "Filth" is so awesome, it's really weird and Kyo somehow has the ability to be kawaii even when he's coming out of a insect-robot-fairy-thing-y. I don't know how he does it... "Childprey" is super funny because the song talks about a dying child but the PV is about saving the world from vampire rats. XD Don't you just love their crackbaby-ness? In "[KR] Cube" (one of the PVs that stole my virginity XD) it's about Die, Kaoru, and Shinya leading out a plan to kill Toshiya and Kyo even though the actual song's about a mother/father (not sure, they don't really identify who in the song) killing their child. (Damn, have you guys noticed that DIRU really has it out for kids?) But anyways, "[KR] Cube" is so hot that I have to watch it about 4 times in a row before I'm slightly satisfied. It's not as good as "OBSCURE", but is as good as it comes. ^^


These outfits are from "Kasumi."

Well, I's got to go. I'm bored and my mouth still tastes like the mouthpiece I wore at the tournament (which tasted like Vienna sausages- GEEEH!). >_< Later, my peeps!
+Momo+
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Thursday, June 1, 2006

   Kiss Me, Kill Me, Love Me
Current Mood: Agitated
Current Song: Childprey by Dir en Grey

Hello, everyone! Today has been a whole lot better than it yesterday was and things haven't really got to me today. This morning I took a pair of scissors and kept on stabbing and scratching up this clay incense holder Zakuro made me that said "I will love you forever." It made me feel better, to tell the truth. I may scratch it up until it's nothing but dust and little bits of clay. I also put all the notes and pictures of her in a shoe box so I won't have to look at it. I want to burn them, but I don't want to do it when my parents are away from home and I don't think they'd let me. I believe all I really need is some time away from her to let go. I've gotten better, but it still hurts. I don't really feel like talking about it anymore.

Today at school was pretty fun. ^^ In math class my (favorite) teacher was playing '80s music on Sirius radio and she seemed pretty happy whenever I was softly banging my head to "Sweet Child of Mine" by Guns n Roses, I was probably the only girl in my class who knew the song. XD Then "Wild Boys" by Duran Duran started playing and I smiled because my parents listen to '80s music all the time and have a "The Best of Duran Duran" CD then I came up to her and said "Duran Duran, huh?" She got really excited and was suprised that I knew who it was, it was funny.

One of my best friends (I won't give out her name for confidentiality in case someone at my school got this address, I don't want to embarass her) just started her period, so we were making all types of period jokes (I'm on mine too) and crap like that. It was so funny because she was playing soccer with me and Carley when Aaron came over and stole the ball away. She chased after him and got it back and screamed "Ha!!! I got the ball away from you even though I'm on..." then she just looked at me and we burst out laughing. She's so fun and I'm happy that I have her as a friend. ^^ Also, in social studies we went to the computer lab and went to this website where it recommended all these jobs based on your interests. I got alot that I wanted like community service (I plan on being a psychiatrist), art, spirituality, things like that. My friend showed me her list and she had "clown" (so did I) and "tatoo artist" and stuff like that on it... that's sooo not her, so we started joking around stuff. I said "OMG, that would be sooo hot if you were clown, hun." I also got recommended as a rabbi. XD I would rock the house off the synagouge (sp?), yo!!! But the things I wanted to do the most on my list was psychiatry, music video director, and music producer. I started screaming "OMFG, I COULD MEET DIR EN GREY AND THEN DATE KYO AND THEN MAYBE MARRY HIM AND HAVE LITTLE SPAWN-CHILDREN!" XD My friend said I was a freak, but she always calls me "her freak." ^-^ Then I call her my "normal person." I wuvs her! :3 I started a trend in my school-we made a model of an airplane hanger out of paper and wore it on my head. ^-^ It was fun but I got pissed whenever people started copying me! I yelled at my friend Dylan for it so he wore a book cover on his head instead. XD


He could conceive a child with me any day. XDDD

I have an orchestra concert tonight, so I got to get all pumped and stuff by watching Dir en Grey PVs!!! >3 I love you guys and sayonara!!!
+Momo+
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Wednesday, May 31, 2006

   Oboete Iru No Deshou?
Current Mood: Sore/Sad
Current Song: OBSCURE by Dir en Grey

Alright, everyone. I know it's been a while since I posted, and two very important things happened. Because I'm lazy, I'll just report on the formal and the party I went to and school and P!nk's new CD directly on the words from my diary. Here you go-

***

Today, at school, about six or seven people were caught with packets of cold medication. It is against school rules to take medicine to school and ESPECIALLY doing what they were doing with the pills-using them as drugs. They each (for the most part) had taken about ten pills each. There was one boy who had taken thirteen and was acting so stupid that it started to scare me... and what's worse, some of those people were my friends. Even though there's only nine days of school left, they were expelled. It made me really aware of our rotting society and even more determined to not do drugs-legal or illegal.

Tonight, after much coaxing from my friends, I went to the last middle schoold ance. The eighth graders were put in the cafeteria... meaning, I had to be in the same room with Zakuro. After only about fifteen minutes of being in the cafeteria, not talking to her AT ALL, I began to cry and wanted to go home. However, I urged myself to stay because MOm had just dropped me off-I didn't want to inconvience her. So, I stayed. I watched Zakuro dance with guys she didn't even know and even one of her/mine friend's date. It disgusted me to watch her and eventually had to run off to the bathroom to puke three times because I was so upset. But during the third time, as I looked down at my steletto heels in front of the toilet, I was dissapointed in myself. STaring at the bile in the water, I told myself that I was such a stereotypical bitch and I couldn't let someone like this whore make me so miserable. So, I wiped the saliva from my lips and went back on the dance floor and actually DANCED (something I had never really done before) and actually had fun. I know that I danced AND looked like a whore, but I wasn't actually being one... I was indulging in myself, not dancing with anyone, and wasn't hurting anyone. That's all I really care about. So, I kind of had fun and I felt sexy and good about myself.

The boy I recently dated and broke up with invited me to a party, that I went to. Unfortunately, he happens to be Zakuro's next door neightbor. During a majority of the party, I ignored Zakuro, and it did work out for quite a while. However, his mom, Scarlet, asked about Zakuro's and my situation since she found it odd that we weren't hanging out together. So, I told her about what she did, and was very sympathetic and gave her own experiences to relate. I then went outside and from the corner of my eye saw Scarlet talking to Melody. I minded my own business, writing song lyrics on a paper towel, when she suddenly brought Zakuro over and gave us a talk and made us apologize to each other. She made Zakuro sit next to me, but once Scarlet left, I said to her "I'm NOT apologizing." "Fine." she shot back, her words laced with venom and walked off, going back into the house with tears blurring my vision and a lump in my throat rising. I know it'll take a while before I get over he,r but I'm not going to sit around and feel sorry for myself 24/7. After a few tears, I was back up on my feet and having fun again.

Also, today, I bought P!nk's new album, "I'm Not Dead", to which I am currently listening. I love P!nk, her attitude reminds me of mine and shows me that people like me CAN make it big, which motivates me even further to try to squeeze into stardom. On most of the REALLY good albums I have, at least one songs makes me cry. But on this album, SIX OUT OF THIRTEEN did. The one that got me the worst was "Dear Mr. President", a song that addresses President Bush and what he has done to our already rotting country.

***


Hmm... this pic makes me happy. ^//^

I've felt really crappy lately. I've been sore and felt sick and felt guilty and selfish... it seems that everytime I do something good for people, I get good things in return. But whenever I do something for MYSELF, I get stabbed in return. I just feel like banging my head against a brick wall over and over again until I'm seeing red. Here's a song I wrote about Zakuro yesterday whenever I saw an insence holder that she made me about a year ago.... it said "I'll love you forever." I started crying and cutting up all the pictures with her in it and throwing down all the notes of hers I could find. I wish I could just forget.

If...
You said that you'd love me forever
I guess that was a lie too
All those nights of wasting away...
Does that mean anything to you?
All the torture you caused me,
I want to shove down your throat

If I could turn back the pain, would I silence myself?
If I had the chance, would I keep you dear?
The blooming lily never ceases to change
If the oppurtunity approached, would I have held you a different way?
If it came, would I be the same lonely person I am today?
Holding you in my memory
The glowing ember

The blade never seems to shut up
I thought I could trust you...
Until you turned around and shoved it all in my face
I showed you kindness, and what you did you give me?
Visions of hellfire plaque my dreams
I'd rather be dead than here

If I showed you what you've done to me, would you hate yourself for it?
If you could see all my scars, would you take back everything you said?
The blooming lily never ceases to change
If I bottled all my tears, would you even be able to look me in the eye?
If you could see the truth, how would you feel?
Holding you in my memory
The glowing ember

If I could scream my sorrows at the top of my lungs, would you hear me?
If I were to tear out my heart and give it to you, would you accept it?
The blooming lily never ceases to change
If you were to kill me again, would I forgive you?
If you were to apologize, what would I do?
Holding you in my memory
If I were the glowing ember.

There it is... I'm too tired to continue. By the way, Final Fantasy fans, FF12 comes out later this fall. Thank you, X-Play. Later.
+Momo+

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Thursday, May 25, 2006

   Nemui Da... -_-
Current Mood: Tired/Bored
Current Song: Kodou by Dir en Grey

Hello, everyone. As you can clearly see, the link from "RealFuckinAnime" has leaked onto my post, underlining it and are now links for "RealFuckinAnime." I tried fixing this by going to "Edit Profile," but I found that I can no longer change my profile because the "Submit" button has vanished and the boxes that let you type in your age, real name, etc. are now in the "Introduction" box in HTML format. This has happened once before to me when I was "Aimai-Kagura", which made me change my screen name. So, I can't decide if I'm going to change my site to fix this problem or not... I hate whenever this crap happens, it pisses me off. >_< What do you guys think I should do?

Today SUCKED... it was so boring I was getting ready to shoot myself. Since the End of Grade testing is over, we watched a movie. Normally, I'd be cool with that. But, it took up 5 OUT OF 7 OF OUR PERIODS. It was about segregation... I'm very interested in the subject and find it inspirational, but still, I DON'T wanna watch a movie about it for 4 HOURS STRAIGHT. I slept for about an 1 1/2 (but I'm still tired XD) and apparently I was softly snoring because of my cold. >_< I also studied some Japanese and talked to Jesse. ^-^ She always makes me so happy, I'm glad to have her as a friend. Everyone's been talking about the formal (that's tommorow), especially the girls about their dresses. I've heard descriptions of each dress about 8 times (except for Jesse and Carley, they don't like to brag, that's why I love them so! ^^) and I'm pretty tired of it. Unfortunately, I am also going to the formal. >_< The only reason is because my friends bugged me about 8 times a day and they were really sad whenever they found out I planned that I wasn't going. I bought myself a dress for $10 and stilettos for $15, so I cheaped out. XD The dress has a bright pink slip underneath (PUKE!) and has a blackish gauze over THAT with some flowers made out of the gauze material ovr it. I put it on and my mom said that I looked pretty... obviously beauty means being uncomfotable. I felt like I was wearing a mask, like I wasn't really myself. I dunno... I always wear baggy pants and baggy boys' t-shirts, so I guess that could be the reason. But this is the last dance until graduation, so I guess I should be happy about. I guess I just hate dances and dread seeing Zakuro and other people there.


These are my dream clothes... *drools*

Kyo-san and I have to much in common... I feel so tired, I think I'll have to take a nap. -_- I sound like an old person. XD Well, loves, from this old person to you! ^^
+Momo+
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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

   DIRU, Tests, Dreams, and Boredom...
Current Mood: Angry/Tired
Current Song: Schwein No Isu by Dir en Grey

Alright, now that all the tests are out of the way and everything is somewhat more calm, I can write a longer post despite how boring it may be. Okay, so yesterday I had to take the End of Grade Reading test and it was EASY and I got to study Japanese afterwards. ^-^ Today I had the End of Grade Math test... I suck at Math, I always get my B's in there where I get A's everywhere else. >_< Anyhow, the E.O.G. math test was HARD and I struggled through it to the end. I think I have a descent score, though, if all the idiots I know in my grade have passed. And Jesse got to sit next to me, so I was happy. ^^ We started writing notes on the scrap sheet of paper we received... I love her, she's so much fun and even though we're so different, our friendship is still strong. I'm gonna miss her and Oneechan over the summer... ;_; At least I still have my Areina-chan!!! ^O^ *dances*



I'm so tired of seeing and hearing Zakuro. Everytime I do, I feel like screaming and that she'd go away. Everytime I hear her laugh, I want to cry. Last night I had a dream that Zakuro tried to apologize to me... I don't remember if I forgave her or not, but it's not the first dream about it I've had. I just wish that I could have someone that I truly rely on. I mean, I have all my friends (who are awesome and I'd be lost without), but I've been hurt so much I can't help but wonder what happens whenever I'm away. Do they talk about me? Do they laugh at me behind my back? Do they really think I'm annoying? I can't even trust myself, much less people. People keep on mentioning her and I want to run away. Her friend (and my friend), Krystal, talked to me and she got me to talk about her and I ended up tearing up... a few tears slid down my cheek whenever she left, but I wiped them off and studied some Japanese to take my mind off of it. I always do that when I feel sad... I run away from it by occupying me with something else. I'm a coward of my own emotions, always torturing me because I box them all in. I'm so glad that she's going to a different school than I am next year so I won't have to deal with her... I want to die whenever she's around.

Children by Dir en Grey
Sever the logic circuits with a razor
it's your fault for not understanding anything
dreams are worn, love is trite
in my head no outlet.

I can't control my mind
Can't control

Neo (?)

My logic circuits continue to hope for that
Unbeknownst to me No outlet.

It can't come out in words, it won't become words
those words destroy my heart.
I, who wore the mask of an adult,
just me and the knife which leaves nothing behind.

I can't control my mind
can't control

It can't come out in words, it won't become words
those words destroy the heart.
I, who wore the mask of an adult,
just me and the knife which leaves nothing behind.

I'll destroy now the foolish words, "play nice with the other kids"
I, who wear the mask of the devil,
I don't want to hear about something I can never have.

Well, I'm done with all my whining... I love you guys and appreciate that you listen to me. ^^ Arigato to sayonara~!
+Momo+
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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

   Bleh...
Current Mood: Crappy
Current Song: The IIID Empire by Dir en Grey

Ahhh!!! I can post long because I gotta get ready for bed and I still have an End of Grade test tommorow and I'm sick and I'm achey and Batman Begins is on. ^o^ I'm such a dork. XD Tommorow I will try to post because everything will be out of the way but I can't say that anything interesting will be in it.... gah, the hotness of Cillian Murphy as Dr. Crane... so distracting. >_<

I'm so pissed at Dir en Grey right now. I love them, but I'm pissed. First Trent (from Nine Inch Nails) shaved his head, now Dir en Grey is reducing their hotness. Since "Withering to Death", they've been incorperating a new grunge inspired style and I respect that. But they're making themselves look less hot than they are!!! In the Vulgar era, it was like "OMFG, LOOK AT THEM!!!" Now it's like, "they're still hot, but they could do better." Kaoru is growing a beard, Totchi flattened out his BEAUTIFUL hair, Die slicked back his hair, Kyo is wearing a grill/braces, and Shinya looks good so far. I still love them and think that music is FAAAAAR, way more important than looks, but still, they're not using their gifts to their full advantage! ToT


Their older look... (PERFECTION)


And their current look.

My Oneechan isn't gonna be on the internet anymore... I can't talk about it too much or I'll get all depressed... ;_; She, Areina, and Jesse mean the world to me. Without them, I'd just be a lifeless shell. We can still talk and stuff, but I'll still miss hearing all of her absurdities and stuffs like that... my Oneechan is my world. T-T I don't want her to leave!!! *cries and grabs onto her leg*

Well, I gotta go take a shower so I can go to bed and be ready for tommorow. I love you guys, see you all later.
+Momo+
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Monday, May 22, 2006

   Even If the Clock Turns To the Left...
Current Mood: Tired/Angry
Current Song: Cage by Dir en Grey

I just got my internet priveleges back from my mom and it's almost up. I'll probably post tommorow, but I can't guarantee it. I have End of Grade testing the next two days and I'm sick, so I'll probably be wiped out... love you guys... Dir en Grey forever! \m/





Today my mom asked me if all I ever did was look at Dir en Grey stuff. >_< Bitch.

+Momo+
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