Wednesday, May 3, 2006

   Kyo-san~!
Current Mood: Happy/Exausted
Current Song: Kasumi by DIRU

Gah, I'm turning into a fangirl. It doesn't bother me... all that much. I used to be a hardcore fangirl for anime characters, so at least my fantasies are actually about real people now. XD Anyhow, I don't have a lot of time to update, so I'll just tell you guys what basically happened. I had a good day, I was happy and no mean comments. Yays! Anyhow, in Language my friend Jesse and I were passing notes about hot guys and she was messing with me and telling me that I'm weird and stuff (like she always does LOL) and she got me started on hot boys-bad idea. All I talked about was Kyo/Asians/Trent/Kyo/Rock stars/Kyo.. then she made the mistake of saying that Johnny Depp was hotter than Trent AND Kyo. I mean, Johnny Depp is hot, but COME ON!!! I got pissed and stuff, it was so funny because we started arguing. Then I was babbling about Kyo (again) and then a girl in our class farted and we had to try not to laugh... our faces were turning red, LOL. Ah, Jesse rocks. Today was a good day. I hope I have more of these. ^^ Now for some Kyo goodness!!!


He's so perfect! ^^


Dude, that's hawt.


Aw, you can see where one of his lip piercings usually are.


LOL How adorable~~! ^^


Oooh... pretty. O.O


OMFG, THAT IS TOO CUTE!!! ^O^


Hehe, dat's my baby. ^^

Okay, I think you guys may be having computer overloads from all the delicious Kyo-iness. LOL ^^ Love you, Darklings!!!
+Niimura Momo+
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Tuesday, May 2, 2006

   Rest In Peace, hide...
Current Mood: Sad
Current Song: Cruisfy My Love by X-Japan

May 2nd... the anniversary of Hideto Matsumoto's (a.k.a. hide from X-Japan) suicide. hide was the guitarist of X-Japan, one of the most famous bands in Japan at the time, and were at the height of their popularity. On May 2nd, 1998 hide was in his apartment and got drunk, to put it blunty. Unfortunately, whenever he was found, he had hung himself in the bathroom with a towel and was a the brink of death. He was immediatly rushed to the hospital where the legendary guitarist was eternally put to rest. Later at his funeral, fans, family, and band members attended where they payed their last respects to him. I know that many people think, so what's the big deal? Tons of people have commited suicide. Alright-hide did what Kurt Cobain did for America. He's a legend, the eternal heartbeak of J-rock. If it weren't for him, Visual Kei wouldn't be the same thing it is today. hide's suicide was a major effect on the world... we all miss you, Hideto Matsumoto.


DISCLAIMER: I DID NOT CREATE THIS PICTURE.

Today wasn't the best for me. No suprise. We had to take a test on science ot see if the state should enforce a science test at the end of the year. I didn't really mind that, I was just a little irratated that we had to do it. I took an hour long nap after the test, which was lovely, and was having a good today until lunch. A boy called one of my CHEERLEADER friends fat and then he told me that I was bigger than her. Usually I don't really care what people say about me, but I guess that struck a nerve. The next period, I cried almost the entire time and felt sick... like throwing up. I started to get paranoid and think that everyone was staring at me or talking. So, in gym I ran almost the entire time we were required to on the HUGE track outside and I was the only one who did. Now I'm tired as hell, but I don't care... I feel better. Then this (popular) guy told me that I was the coolest person he knows and that whenever I get famous to not forget him. I laughed and said "I'm not gonna get famous, but thanks." Then he asked me if hos get on my nerves and when I said "absolutely" he gave me some dap. LOL That made me feel better about myself. Then this guy I like came over to me and asked what was wrong and I told him, then he comforted me. It made me feel like he may actually think of me as a friend. ^^ I guess my day was good, but that one comment really hurt me.


Aw... DIRU makes me happy. :3

Ah, the delights of Mad TV... for some good advice, never say "no" to Oprah or else she'll turn demonic and it'll be the end of the world. LOL
+Momo+
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Monday, May 1, 2006

   Ain't Afraid To Die
Current Mood: Uh... Iouno
Current Song: Machivealism(SP?) by DIRU

Gah, I haven't posted since Tuesday... ;_; I'm gonna have to tell you all about my crappy week. Grrness... even the great power of Kyo-san wasn't enough to boost my spirits. I was very depressed... but I think if I actually got to see Kyo and if he offered me a bowl of ramen or something I'd be back to normal. ^^ And I am back to normal now, so yays! But I guess I'll have to tell you. Crapness. >_<

Okay, I'll start with the field trip. I woke up at 4:30 in the morning and for some reason was perky and hyper and quite scary. O_O I started bouncing in the hallways and singing and dancing and all my friends were pretending like they didn't know me. LOL When we got on the bus I was really happy because I was talking to Lisa, Korki, and Zakuro while listening to my beloved DIRU. ^^ We were our usually hyper selves and I eventually calmed down. We did all our yaoi/yuri stuff and little doodles and crap. But whenever we went to the college/gardens, I started to feel... odd. I took a picture with Lisa, Korki, and Zakuro but looked at the picture and felt out of place. They're all so cute, adorable, short, and Asian and I'm the ugly, fat, tall, American girl in the middle. I felt really bad about myself and Melody went off with Lisa and Korki. I felt like I didn't really matter... like just because I wasn't as cute as them that I didn't belong. I felt like a minority. We went to the gardens and that made me happy because nature and I always seem to connect... I took like 20 pics at the gardens. XD I went back on the bus and stared at the window. And for no reason, I started crying. The others didn't really pay attention to me, but I didn't really care. I just wanted to cry. I wrote a song about it, and it was really angry and sad. We then went to the science museum (where a lady took a necklace from me to pay almost instantly cause she thought I would steal it or something), history museum, legislative building, and plantetarium. To tell the truth, I would have rather stayed in school. I went home that day feeling empty and ugly.



I got progress reports Friday and I got an "F" in Math... my first "F" ever... I feel like a failure and my parents are pretending like it's all my fault... like I MEANT to get a bad grade. I'm gonna work my ass off trying to make it up.

The guy I like doesn't like me and one of my friends likes him. Also, my friend Rachel is going to the biggest dance with the guy I used to like. I want to hate her but so many people have betrayed me whenever it comes to him... so I say screw it. They can have him.

I got so upset this week... I tried thinking of Kyo-sama to make myself happier, but that just made me feel more depressed. I felt utterly helpless, thinking that I wouldn't ever meet Kyo... so what's the point in false hopes? I want to cry whenever I think about it. But somehow, I'll do my best to meet him (at least) and tell him how much I admire him.


My Kyo... my beloved.

Like I said, I'm back to normal. Still feel a little crappy thinking about it, though. -_-
+Momo+
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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Pomegrante Color... (Gah, I can spell it better in Japanese -_-)
Current Mood: Agitated
Current Song: OBSCURE by Dir en Grey (I can't get it out of my head!!! XD)

Man, I can't get "OBSCURE" out of my head... the PV and song keep on playing over and over in my head. I know it's my favorite song and PV, but DAMN!!! I've had it in my head for five days straight so far. Yet I'm not tired of it... but Kyo is just so damn sexy, I can't help it!!! ;_; I've had little daydreams of me and him in Japan walking through parks and taking pictures in phone booths together and eating in fast food restaraunts together... so cute but I only wish it were true!!! ToT Even a handshake would suffice for me to be pleased... KYO, SHAKE MY HAND!!! TOT (Eh, sorry... chocolate and coke isn't something good to mix together... -_-) He's just so adorable without even trying and even the nastiest things he does is adorable to do. My brother thinks it's disgusting whenever he pukes but I'm like "aww... how adorable!! Get him some listerine!" or something. Gah, I'm so fangirl-ish. ;_;


Aw... too cute!!! T-T

Tommorow I'm going on a field trip and guess when I have to be at the school? 5:30 IN THE FREAKIN MORNING. I'm so not a morning person and I value my sleep... I'm thinking of just doing an all-nighter since I've stayed up later. -_- The ride is 3-4 hours WITH ALL THE IDIOTS IN MY CLASS. Luckily, Zakuro will be sitting either in front or behind me and I get two seats all to myself. ^^ Yays! I'm gonna take my DIRU CDs, my notebook (to write yaoi and songs XD), my Japanese book, and a camera. I'll probably listen to Kyo's sexy voice and sleep the entire way. It was really funny last field trip because I fell asleep while listening to my CD with maximum volume (I do that all the time) and it was during "Beautiful Dirt" and my friends couldn't see how I could fall asleep through all the screaming. LOL We get to visit gardens and chapels so I'll probably get inspired to write a song-yay!!! ^^


I hope they have sakura! :D

As Oneechan requested... I'm going to post up the song about Kyo. Remember, I was very emotional whenever I wrote this, had listened to some DIRU songs before, and DON'T LAUGH. Here it is-

Two Hearts, One Voice
Upon a sea, you stand alone
Do they hear your heart or screams?
Invisible tears and heartfelt cries
Do you remember all those nights you spent alone?
You wanted someone to hear you
You wanted them to love you
All those things you now have
But your heart still feels hollow

To them, all your feelings are just words
A simple excuse just to revolt
Whenever you're on that stage,
I see myself
Your sorrow is so beautiful
When I look in the mirror,
I see you.
Two hearts, one voice

Hiding behind your mask
You allow yourself to cry
You pour your soul out to the world
Solitude seems to be the only thing you understand
Love is pain
Through all the bloodstains
And when the lights have dimmed
You are the only one that remains

To them, all your feelings are just words
A simple excuse just to revolt
Whenever you're on that stage,
I see myself
Your sorrow is so beautiful
When I look in the mirror,
I see you.
Two hearts, one voice

Come with me and we'll sing together
Until everyone has left
And our pulse has stopped
We'll sing like one's listening
Like no one cares
The world is our stage
We have nothing to fear
Stitch our two hearts together
We'll sing with one voice.

I know it sucks, and that it's not my best song, but it means a lot to me and how close I feel to Kyo. Please don't make fun of my song. ;_; I gots to go... I love you guys!
+Momo+
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Sunday, April 23, 2006

   WAAAII!!!
Current Mood: Sleepy & Excited
Current Song: No. 666 by Gazette
45 1/2 DAYS UNTIL NIN

WAAAIIII!!! I just read Tani-chan's update and SQUEE!!! DIRU MAY BE TOURING IN AMERICA AGAIN!!! ^____^ I think Korn, A.F.I., and the other bands they might be touring with are decent, but if DIRU's gonna be there, I'm so gonna go, jump on stage, take off my pants and steal the entire band. ^^ I'm so hyped that they may be in America again and I hope so badly that they come to my state... cause when they weren't in my state but I knew they were in the same country, it killed me. I felt like crying. ;_; If I get to go to a DIRU concert, I'll have mastered one of my 4 life goals.

MOMO-CHAN'S LIFELONG GOALS
1. See NIN (Which will happen on June 10th)
2. See DIRU (Which may happen if they come to my state)
3. Master Japanese
4. Go to Japan

I have a very simple life... please, God, make these things come true!!!! ;_;

Speaking of DIRU, I watched my MACRABE tour DVD and at the end it made me cry. I know this sounds really stupid and fangirl-ish, but I don't care. All you guys can kiss my ass if you have a problem with it. T^T I watched Kyo singing "Mushi" and I felt his pain... I felt the torture in his voice... in his SOUL. He looked so sad even though screaming fans were among him and he looked like he was about to cry. Through all the screams, all the angry lyrics, all the fake blood, he's just crying for someone to listen to him and really take in what he's saying. He's such a sad person... I can't read more than two of his songs a day without getting all choked up. I've felt all this hatred and pain he's felt. I've felt everything that he's talking about. And at the end of the DVD, he was hiding his face in a towel but swept the cloth from his face and smiled the happiest smile I've ever seen. His face just suddenly lit up, like he had suddenly seen the meaning of life. Kyo made me feel such deep emotions that I wrote a song about it, but I'm kind of embarassed to write it... so I won't. But do you guys know see why I love DIRU so much? I feel as if Kyo and I are one person... I understand him. And even though I don't know him, I love him. I love everyone who has encountered such pain and survived it, for these are what REAL people are made of.


S'okay, Kyo-san... I'm here. ;_; *hugs*

The reason I haven't posted in a while is because I've been going into super-hyper-jrock-mode. I REALLY want to listen to the band Gazette-they have amazing sound and have some of the most catchy songs and PVs in J-rock I've seen. So, if anyone knows of any awesome Gazette sites, please let me know because I LOVE this band's sound.



I'm sorry for everyone's site that I haven't commented on today, my computer is being a retard and not letting me comment. Stupid computer. >_< *punches screen* It mocks me and trys to kill me in my sleep... yet it supplies me with J-rock, yaoi, and yuri. I can't decide wheather I hate it or love it. >_O I'll just call it a love-hate relationship. It's still retarted, though.

Happy Belated Earth-day!!! Love our environment or I'll get some rabid squirells to drool on you!!! ^^ I's sleepy... Oyasumi nasai, minna!
+Momo+
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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

   Bloody Baby and Sacrafice
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: OBSCURE by Dir en Grey
49 1/2 days until NIN

Waaai!! ^^ I am so happy~! I've been watching the OBSCUREd (remix for OBSCURE) PV over and over again for the past half hour... I freaking love that song and video, and especially my Kyo-sama. He's so fucking hot (notice I didn't say adorable!!) in that PV and I want an outfit like him so I can walk around and puke and headbang. ^o^ I don't care how mainstream or how popular DIRU is, I love them with all my heart and they were my first J-rock band. SO DON'T DISS DIRU UNLESS YOU WANT TO TASTE THE BACK OF MY HAND!!! I'm so happy that I even printed out the lyrics and I plan to memorize them. Hehe... see? I've basically done nothing different than yesterday than listen to ONE Dir en Grey song. See what J-rock can do for you? ^-^

Aw... I'm watching "Punk'd" and they're punking Ryan Cabera... he's really nice and cute, but I feel so bad for him. ;_; They're being a real jackass to him and I just want to give him a hug even though his music sucks ass. Poor Ryan Cabera... HEY!!! He needs some music lessons from Kyo-sama so that he can be cute AND rock! ^o^

Um... here's a survey. ^^;

1. What's your favorite English word?
2. What's your favorite Japanese word?
3. At what age did you get your first kiss?
4. What's your favorite movie?
5. What's your favorite American band?
6. Your favorite Japanese band?
7. Your favorite band PERIOD?
8. What's more important-music or FOOD?
9. What's your favorite anime?
10. Your least favorite anime?
11. Who's your least favorite celebrity?
12. Your favorite celebrity?
13. If you could switch bodies with someone for a day, who would it be?
14. What movie do you want to see the most right now?
15. What's your favorite number?


Dude, this has a DIRU interview and Gazette and Gackt and Pierrot... I want that magazine!!! ;_;

MY ANSWERS
1. Amber... I don't know why, it's just so pretty. ^^
2. Sakura. It just sounds so beautiful and feminine!!!
3. I was 12, but it SUCKED. No magic.. no tongue. LOL
4. Gahh!! I don't know, there's too many! ToT
5. Nine Inch Nails, OF COURSE.
6. Duh... Dir en Grey!!!
7. I don't know. Don't make me choose between my two mutual loves!!! TT-TT
8. Fuck food-bring on the music!!!
9. Right now, Hana-Kimi. ^^
10. Bobobobobobo. -_-
11. George Dubya Bush. What??? He's a celebrity!!!
12. Anyone who gives to charity is cool with me. ^^
13. I would say Kyo but I can't speak Japanese and don't want to humiliate him, so I'd say Trent. ^.~
14. "Brokeback Mountain" or "Scary Movie 4."
15. 9... I dunno why, it just rocks! ^^

Okay, there you go. I'm gonna go watch one of my DIRU DVDs and maybe hump the T.V. XD
+Momo+
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Monday, April 17, 2006

   Hate every Motherf*cker that's in Your Way
Current Mood: Unknown
Current Song: Beautiful People by Marilyn Manson
50 1/2 DAYS TILL NIN

Hey, everyone... it's Spring Break but I'm piss tired. I haven't really done anything except for watch "Invader Zim", take a shower, read some yaoi, play some Tetris, and pet my dog. Exciting stuff right there. I'm happy that I get a break from school, but I'm stuck at home ALL day and it's friggin boring. To make it worse, I'm stuck at home with all this Easter candy and am probably gonna gain 5 pounds. I'll just double my DDR time or something. I dunno. I'm too bored to think or care. I painted my nails bright blue. They own your ass. So do the Wildboys. Took some DIRU quizzes. I'm watching Chris Pontius get his balls smashed in by an elephant. Someone please be on AIM or something.

DUDE, A MONKEY'S DOING PUSH UPS!!! ^O^ Okay, the awesome monkey has made me feel better. ^^ I basically just visited my grandparents over Easter and slept. I don't even celebrate Easter, I'm a Wiccan. At least I get candy. Damn that monkey is cute. ^^

I want a girlfriend.

Okay, I'm bored and I'm sure you guys are too. I'm gonna go sleep or play DDR. Laterz...
+Momo+
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Friday, April 14, 2006

   I'm Tired of All This.
Current Mood: Upset
Current Song: Raven by Kittie

God, I'm so tired of my parents fighting all the time. I'm tired of wondering everyday whether they're going to divorce or not. I'm just plain tired of both of them.

Allow me to explain. My parents talk bad about each other at LEAST once a day. I'm tired of hearing Mom talk about how much she thinks Dad is such a screw up, how much Dad thinks Mom is a bitch, and hear about how I'm gonna tear the family apart. My parents get pissed at each other for the TINEST things. My dad was mad today because he was tired of being at Wallmart... one time we went to the beach and my parents got mad at each other because we didn't get dinner until 12 a.m. ... one time they got mad because they didn't know what to eat for dinner... because they think that they hurt each others feelings... and that's just some of the things. They've been mad at each other already twice today. Sometimes I get so fed up with it that I just want to run away and never come back. Also, I'm afraid that if they get a divorce, it'll be all because of me. My mom tells me I'm tearing the family apart, me and my brother are the source of my parents' anger, and all sorts of this crap. I was so angry that I wrote a song about it today. I'm even more worried about my younger brother. I just wish that they could get along and be like all the couples in the movies.



My dad keeps on complaining about money... it makes me feel guilty and I wish that he hadn't even spent money on the NIN tickets in the first place.
+Momo+
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Thursday, April 13, 2006

   SPRING BREAK!!!
Current Mood: Excited
Current Song: Closer by NIN

Yay!!! It's the first day of Spring Break!!! No school! No idiots! No crappy cafeteria food! No brain damage from inhaling too much pencil lead!!! Okay, maybe I'm overreacting. But still, SPRING BREAK, BABY!!!



OMFG, you guys, something AMAZING happened to me. Lately I've been selling jewelry and stuff to raise money for the NIN (Nine Inch Nails) concert and also needed to raise some for my brother, or else I wouldn't be able to go. Well, I don't have to worry about any of that anymore-my dad bought tickets!!! YAY!!! I GET TO SEE MY BABY TRENT IN PERSON!!! ^_______^ I'm so happy... whenever Dad told me in the car I almost started crying and I wouldn't stop hugging him. But who can blame me? NINE INCH NAILS!!! Now I'm just gonna save up money to buy a t-shirt there because whenever I went to an Evanescence concert (also my first one-haha!), the shirts were like $40 a pop-almost as much as the tickets. So, VIVA LA NIN!!!


In the great words of Beetlegeuse, "Here I come, baby!"


Aw... I think he's cold. Don't worry, I'll warm him up. ^_~


4 words-HE IS A GOD.

The reason I haven't typed a lot is because I cut my finger really badly yesterday... I was grabbing a glass to get some lemonade but it slipped out of my hands and I caught it, but grasped it too hard because it broke apart and sliced open my pinky in two different places. It bled for 15 minutes straight while putting pressure on it afterwards. But it's cool now... just hurts and I can't play my viola all that well. Unfortunatley when I washed my hands after lunch, my bandaid got all wet and useless so I had to ask the teacher for one and she gave me a HOT PINK one. I hate pink-but hot pink is the worst. My flesh still burns from the ghastly bandage...



Well, I must go along with my hyper self. Love ya, my darklings!!!
+Momo+
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Monday, April 10, 2006

   HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PURGATORY!!!
Current Mood: Sleepy
Current Song: .59 by DJ Taka

Hey, everyone~! It's Oneechan's (Purgatory's 17th birthday!!! ^^ Oneechan has been with me ever since I had the username "MelancholyTears" (in 2004) and stayed with me through the thick and thin, no matter how deep in depression I was in. With her help (and many other people behind me), I was brought out of my sucidal rut and became the odd, fun-loving person I am today-and she's still staying true to me. She's not my sister in real life, but I call her "Oneechan" because she's LIKE an older sister-we've never seen each other's face or heard each other's voice, but she has always been there for me and is someone I know I can trust. Oneechan and I have a special bond that can't be severed and she's made such an impact on my life... that's why I'm so grateful for Purgatory, and why I'm celebrating the day this wonderful girl came into the world.


I found this on Google and thought it was cool, and kinda resembled mine and Oneechan's relationship. ^^

Other than that, I don't really have anything to say... I'm bored and tired and nothing happened today. So... bye, darklings.
+Momo+
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