Thursday, January 25, 2007

   drinking bleach
Current Mood: Pensive
Current Song:

So, last night I had plenty of deep thoughts. I was reading Kyo's "Fools Mate 2005" interview and realized how disconnected he's becoming. It was at the very ending of 2005, so there's a whole year's difference that may have changed Kyo, but still... it hurts me so much to know that he has uncertainty in his mind and that he feels so troubled. I just wish I could take away all his pain and the questions that keep him up at night. He means the world to me even though I've never met him before. Also, Alayna sent me this fanfiction the other day-I never read a DIRU yaoi, I just can't imagine them doing it. But I took Alayna's advice and read it. Oh my God. I cried so hard whenever I read it... I don't think I had cried that hard in a LONG time. It was a yaoi, but it focused far more on emotion-sex was just an outlet that happened to be there. It seemed to fit in the story so perfectly, like it would be incompletely without the sex scences. Anyhow, the emotion the author conveyed through Kyo's point of view was so strong I felt like someone was wrapping barbed wire around my heart and pulling as hard as they could. I'm getting teary just talking about it. If you want the fanfiction, leave a comment and I'll PM you the link (if a lot of people request it, I'll put it in a post tommorow). But I was so moved by that story and the interview, that I was struck by inspiration (whenever I think alot or am in extreme pain I can write lyrics better), and I scribble down some lyrics and pieced together some that I had previously written. This was the product, called "Blanched" in dedication to the title of the fanfiction, "Bleached Bones."

***

Blanched
Swollen, and growing over the skin
Ripping myself open...
Can you see the liar?
Vermillion slowly eats away the innocence:
Stained with all my sins, the world is unplugged

Suddenly incomplete
Shunned by the emptiness of myself
Tearing apart flesh and killing another part of me
Hair shoved down my throat,
Another pastel life is musted

Carved hollow into a useless shell
Epinephrine coursing through my shriveled heart
To sustain me one more time
Let me now there's still something left in me
Something left to feel
Surely, my veins start to rust

Suddenly incomplete
Shunned by the emptiness of myself
Tearing apart flesh and killing another part of me
Hair shoved down my throat,
Another pastel life is musted

Never supposed to become this
Never supposed to be
Stitching the cancer into my eyes
Sticky pomegrant clinging to my insides

Peeling away the charred skin and
Leaving this ugly, withered body behind

***



My inspirations were Kyo (of course), "Bleached Bones", the "Fools Mate 2005" interview, "Crank", and Hannya. Please tell me if you guys think if it's any good or not... I'm debating on wheather I should put it in my poem book or not.

Oh, yeah... I also found this.


XDDD We all know it's true!!!

I wanna watch the interview it came from (Music & People), but it would be 40 minutes total. @_@ I'm gonna have to watch it in tiny portions so my parents won't scream at me for it. -_-

In Orchestra, we played the entire time. I'm happy because I'm getting better!!! ^o^ I think it's because I'm beside better players so I can hear them more clearly... and that lets me know what to play. Yay!!! In Art we had to draw a picture upside down. @_@ I HATED IT. I wanted to turn it right side up so badly, I twitched a few times. XDDD; We also have to draw our dream room by Thursday next week... I can't REALLY draw my dream room because mine would include Kyo naked and chained to bed begging for me to take him. XDDD; Oh, well. At lunch mainly Anthony threw a ball at me and kept on saying he teabagged me. -_-' I'm "molested" about 7+ times a day. X_X In Science all we really did was get textbooks and workbooks, and take 5 notes on the scientific method. So, the entire time I started writing a short story about what would happen if I went to a DIRU concert, found their tour bus, and asked Kyo for fanservice. X3 Oh, yes. English wasn't as interesting as yesterday, but I still enjoyed it. We had to get into groups, but my group was okay so I'm not going to complain. I got to talk a little with this Asian girl named Nhi. She told me that she mainly listens to Chinese music, and I said that I listen to Japanese music. She threw her fist in the air and said "yeah! I don't listen to all that much Japanese music, though..." ^^; I told her that I like Silver Ash, but she didn't know who they were. XD She was nice, though.

Nehhh... I'm kinda tired and I need to fold a few paper cranes... I only have 201 for Kyo so far. ;~; Sadness. Well, loves you all. Mata ne~!
+Momo+
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