Sunday, February 11, 2007

   *sigh* -_-
Current Mood: Pissed off
Current Song: Agitated Screams of Maggots by Dir en grey

Just in case you guys haven't seen it, here's the subbed version of DIRU's aknot message from all the way back in the Gauze era. I always loved this clip, but only understood a little bit of what they were saying, and I probably figured all my little DIRU otaku had the same problem. So, here it is. Say you love me. Saaaaaaaaaay ittttt.... *pokes*

Last night I finally got to watch "Saw III".... I was so excited at Blockbuster that I ran to get it and pushed my brother out of the way. XD; Once I got it I started jumping up and down and screaming "victory! Yatta!!!" XD It's pretty sad when the child embarasses the parents. But anyways, I really liked it. It wasn't as good as the first or second, but it was still good. And if you haven't seen the "Saw" movies yet, don't start with the third-it'll just be a waste of your time. The third one is basically for the fans-like they said in the making of it-and ties up a lot of loose ends. But the "Saw" trilogy are some of my favorite movies, so I liked it, of course. And there was some dead pigs in it, but it was soooo funny to watch the making of it. They talked about how they wanted maggots on the pigs to increase the "gross" factor and make it seem more realistic, so they covered them in honey and maggots. One of the guys said, "ewwwww, this is still sticky. If you liked it, it'd taste like honey.... and maggots." XD It also inspired me for a name of a song. So, thank you, "Saw III."



Ugh. I have to go to the library today to work on my homosexual project. That's why I hate wasting my time with groups. If I just worked by myself, I would have had it done already. -_- I'm taking my iPod so I can listen to DIRU while I'm doing it and possibly lessen my anger.


XDDD Ah, Kyo, you can never make me angry. I wub you. *cuddles*

Ne. I REALLY don't want to go to the library today. My weekend has sucked, so I just want to... fuck , I don't know what I want to do Kyo. That's always fun. XD Well, I guess I better go so I can eat something before I go to the stupid fucking library. -_- But, remember. Never call Kyo "-chan", and nebaa sei guudbai! (Watch the video if you don't know what I'm talking about.)

Edit:
Today was terrible. I'm so upset that I feel sick and have a head splitting headache. I want to crawl in a hole and die.

Okay, so here's what happened. I had been upset because I had to go to the library, but my parents kept on telling me it would be okay. Then we went to go eat something-that's when things got bad. We went to Firebonz and I accidentally spilled my drink. I just stared at it for a few seconds thinking "great, another fucking thing going wrong." My mom and dad started yelling at me to clean it up while Dad was frantically ripping up paper towels to clean it up. I eventually did, and I was so pissed off. I don't remember what made him say it, but he told me that I was acting like a child, and that I need to get over the fact that I have to go to the library. He yelled at me, saying that he had to do things he hated every single day and that I was making myself and everyone else miserable. That hurt me so deeply. Not only because I'm close to my dad and he hardly ever yells at me, but because he knows that I sensitive whenever things go wrong and that I always think they're my fault in the first place. I started to cry, but wish I didn't. Mom told me to go to the bathroom, so I did and locked myself in the stall and cried for about 10 minutes until Mom came in and yelled at me to stop crying and that I needed to go back out there. I wiped up my tears and did as she told me, and tried to calm down by studying Japanese. I cried a little, but they didn't really notice all that much. Then, our food came. We started to eat and I decided to turn on my cell phone just in case Dylan (my partner for the project) called. Then, I saw that I had a new message. I checked it and Dylan said "hey, Becky. We're going to have to go to the library at 2 because it closes at 4. Call me back. Bye." I looked at my watch and saw that it was 3:00. I started to cry again. Everything had gone wrong and getting upset was all for nothing. My dad yelled at me again after I said "I knew I shouldn't have taken honors" and he stormed out of the restaraunt. I was so upset that I just layed my head down on the table. I tried to eat but I just felt like I was going to throw up. Mom went to go looking for Dad and the entire time she was gone all I could think of was my dad saying "you're making everyone else miserable." I also started thinking about how my younger brother always has to see his older sister break down. I'm supposed to take care of him, but how often does that happen? I'm such a terrible sister and daughter. I wanted to die. Mom came back after failing to find him and called him on his cell phone and got a hold of him. We got our check and Dad went in the car. We drove to the library and they dropped me off. I was so embarassed whenever I found Kyle and Dylan because my face was still tearstained and red from crying. At least they were nice to me and didn't ask any questions. Eventually Dylan cheered me up by being his normal self and we got some stuff done. We're probably gonna get a B or C, but at least we tried. At this point, I don't even fucking care. Afterwards, we took Dylan home and I came home and worked some more on my project. I know I should do some more on it, but I just want to go to sleep. I'm so tired, I feel sick, and I'm upset. I don't want to see my father.

The week before last, I ruined everyone's weekend too. I'm such a selfish bitch. And like my father said, a child. I get upset so much and over such little things. I really don't appreciate what I have. I don't want to go to school tommorow. I just want to lie down. I hurt too bad to do anything right now. I'm such a revolting person.
+Momo+
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