Thursday, March 1, 2007

   Say You Love Me...
Current Mood: Self-consious
Current Song: The Deeper Vileness by Dir en grey

Okay, I found the Dir en grey Fuse interview for all of you poor saps who missed it. They're divided into two different parts, and I haven't watched them, so I'm sorry if you have to suffer through all of the sucky American bands. :/ But then again, you can always skip it. I, was not lucky enough to do that. -_-

Part 1
Part 2

Yes, you love me. Say it. ^_~V

Last night was alright. I went to eat with my grandparent's for my grandpa's birthday and I had some mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese. I had some broccoli too, but I was so full that I couldn't eat any. D: When we got home I worked on my Elizabeth Taylor picture and finally finished it. But.... I had a REALLY weird dream. I dreamt that Hannibal Lector (except, he wasn't Hannibal Lector. He was some really hot guy. And he didn't eat people, he was vampiric o_O) raped Sarah Michelle Gellar (except she was just some normal girl that looked like Sarah Michelle Gellar o_O) and started sucking her blood. Finally, she got hold of a taser and pointed at him and he started leaving. Then she tasered herself in the temple and he left. o_o It was really fucking weird, but for some reason it was really, really hot. @_@ I think there's something wrong with me.


I guess it doesn't help that I'm in love with Kyo, the king of all odd fetishes. o_o

Today wasn't all that great. I mean, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't good. ._. Okay, it first happened in Orchestra. I had already felt kinda self-consious because my shirt was a little tighter than normal. But the girl beside me had the nerve to ask "what size pants do you wear?" I kinda gritted my teeth and said "14." I'm not proud of it, and hearing it out loud makes me want to die. I know I like to wear my pants baggy, but it's still embarassing. She said "oh! I have some size 14 pants from when I was... y'know, big too." I sorta clenched my teeth and smiled. I already fucking know I'm fat. I don't need some bitch reminding me how much it hurts. I almost started crying. I'm so self-consious and I've hated my body ever since I was little. And it didn't help that last night my grandma seemed estatic at how much weight I lost. Because of that one little remark, I remembered all of the little things people said to me when I was younger. It's harder losing weight for me than other people because I've been this way every since I was little, I have a bigger bone structure than most women (I can barely wear some jackets because the shoulders are so small), and I finished puberty when I was in the 5th grade. I'm not trying to make excuses for myself, my body just pisses me off. I decided that I need to spend less time on the computer and more time exercising, because obviously, the weight isn't coming off fast enough. In Art I was emotionally and physically tired. I didn't wanna do anything. But I had to get up and turn in my Elizabeth Taylor picture and a picture where we filled in some empty spaces. Afterwards, I got my picture of Kyo and a piece of construction paper and gridded them both out. I started on Kyo's hair and I was so paranoid that I'm gonna fuck it up. -_- I'm a perfectionist when it comes to whatever I do, and it's gonna be 1000x worse since I'm drawing Kyo. *sighs* At lunch Stacie bought me carrots again and one of the guys that sits in our circle gave me a thing of string cheese. :D I had to wrestle it away from Stacie, but it was worth it. >3 In Science we watched a video on earthquakes. Damn, it made me so paranoid. Now I'm afraid that an earthquake is going to hit here (despite the fact that I live in North Carolina) and my dog is going to die. T~T Not only that, but I'm afraid that a major earthquake is going to hit Japan. o_o I'm determined to write a fanletter to DIRU telling them that I have an earthquake shelter... I'll stash it with Gundam DVDs, instruments, videos games, manga, dog toys, and scorpions to keep them busy. @_@ My teacher also checked if they had a Japanese foreign language for next year, like they said they would. And, of course, because I want it, they don't. -_- So I'm going to talk to the guidance councelor and ask them about it and see if I can take a Japanese course online or at a local school and get credit for it. Because I want to take Japanese classes more than anything. I've been looking forward to it since the end of 8th grade, when they promised it. If I can't take any, I'll just take German. *sighs* In English we went to the library to work on this archetypes worksheet and I got to work with Nhi as a partner!!! ^o^ She's really sweet and cool, I liked working with her. I also learned that she's not Chinese, she's Vietnamese. -3- I felt so bad... she said she like Chinese music, so I immediately assumed she was Chinese. *bangs head against desk* But she was amazed that I knew Japanese and that I knew kanji. She was like "YOU CAN READ CHARACTERS?!" XDDD It was cool to get to know her better. Whenever I got home I ate a quesodilla and did my homework (starting at 3:30) and finished at 5. o_o Meh. Then I exercised until I was gasping for air and thought I was going to fall down. Now I'm here. Yay!


Hurry, DIRU! Into my basement!!! And make those Kyo bring those pants!!! >D

Ugh, I need to take a shower. I feel icky. -_- Mata ne!
+Momo+
Comments (4)