Wednesday, March 28, 2007

   Gekijou no....
Current Mood: Sleepy
Current Song: Ryoujoku no Ame by Dir en grey
Currently Watching: America's Funniest Home Videos

DUDE, THERE'S A MONKEY ON AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS!!!! :B FUCK YEAH!!! AND HE'S KISSING A GUY WITH A MONKEY MASK ON!!! XD

Ahhhh, how easily am I amused. :3

Before school Sydney was making fun of me for wearing my Dir en grey shirt and "I love Kyo" wristband on the same day and he told me that I need a wristband that says "Kyo loves cock." XDDD I almost pissed myself, I was laughing so hard. In orchestra we practiced the piece we got yesterday and I guess I'm getting slightly better at it. It's a senior request, and we HAVE to play it. @_@ After we playing, I went down to the councelor's office to check out my registration form and found that no schools have Japanese around here, and if they did, I'd have to be an 11th grader. -_- So, no Japanese for Momo-chan. ;~; No matter what, though, I'm studying it in college. D< After I got back, Storm and I started talking about porn and the types that make us wanna puke (like scat and golden shower @_@). XD Yeah, we're so appropriate. In Art we took a test on painting, I finally finished my geisha picture, I got to work on some of my Kyo fanletter, and cut out some pictures for my fake CD cover. Yay!!!! ^o^ The girl beside me wanted to read my Kyo fanletter (-_-) and she said that I should get to meet him. o_o I got my teary eyed anime girl face on and hugged her. XDDD During lunch we screwed around like usual. @_@ Except that Nicole told me someone in her gym class told a Hispanic girl (who's my friend) that "I'm white. I own you." I was so pissed off, I started screaming. I absolutely HATE racist people, and it pains me to know that there are still people like that in this world. Sandra (the Hispanic girl) beat the crap out of her and our whole lunch circle threatened to jump the bitch who said that to her. XD You don't mess with the crazy anti-racist girl who's in love with an Asian. >D

Awwwwww... a little boy kissed another boy on America's Funniest Home Videos... how cute!!! >w<

Damn, gotta stay on track. -_- In Science we did this study guide for our test and I worked on my Kyo fanletter again. Korki kept on poking me and making me squeel and Matt said that Kyo sucked (then again, with that video floating around, that may be true XD) so I threatened to fight him. @o@ In English some people presented their projects and I finished my Kyo fanletter, but it's way too fucking long. It's two pages, one front and back and one front and half of the back. @_@ So I may type it up here and ask you guys what to take out. Oh, yeah... and Caleb said I looked kinda cute. @_@ After school we saw one of Nicole's friends carrying a little chihuahua who would growl viciously whenever she said "get 'em, girl!!!" XDDD She kinda reminded me of Puppie (although Puppie was a pomerenian) and how she hated Shinya although he loved her. So cute. ;o;


OMFG, I LOVE THIS PICTURE SO MUCH~!!! ;O; Miyu and Shin-chan are so fucking adorable.... >w<

I've had "Ryoujoku no Ame" stuck in my head all day.... I love that song so much. The pain is so apparent, and the video has enough S&M for the whole family. :3 I like the single version better, although the album one is beautiful too. What's your opinion?

***

Ryoujoku no Ame by Dir en grey (official translation)
The lukewarm raindrops cause a deep wound, even to the innocent

A lie is born
And somewhere the lie becomes something else

Someday, all the words, the day and everything else will get buried in the mistake
I hold dear to me, a blue and pure memory

My hope fades away from the angry tears
Even the strength to live
In a fit of passion I go crazy with grief
And so, I pray to the setting sun

burning from the inside
crying with pain
You can not save me

The lost sense of generosity from the angry tears, is
The love given tome as I am born
The reason for my lost heart
Must be my own weakness...?

It is then the proof of sadness, caused by absolute justice

In the lukewarm rain which does not stop...

***

Last night I was crying whenever I thought of Kyo crying and fish hooking himself while singing "Higeki wa Mabuta wo Oroshita Yasashiki Utsu" during the "It Withers and Withers" DVD. Then I started sobbing whenever I prayed for him to realize his self-worth and to stop hurting himself as much. Am I so weak that I cry over these type of things?



Anoooo... I guess I should get started on my homework. *sighs* Maybe I can shred it up and put bloodstains on it and say Kyo ate it. o_o
+Momo+

EDIT:
Whoa. I watched a live of "Higeki wa Mabuta wo Oroshita Yasashiki Utsu" because I had never seen one (yes, everyone gasp). And, I can't believe I'm saying it, but I kinda wish I hadn't. I was okay until about half way into the song into Kyo started crying. My eyes immediately started to well up, but whenever he started screaming and you could hear his cries, I started hiccuping from crying so hard. I had to cover my mouth so my brother wouldn't hear me. As I listened to Kyo screaming and sobs ripping from his throat, I squeezed my eyes so tight and tears streamed down my face, like I was being rained on. Soon enough I was crying so hard that my hands didn't do any good so whenever it finished, I ripped off my headphones and ran to my room. I slammed my face into my pillow and basically screamed from weeping so hard. I couldn't really say anything other than "oh my God", "Kyo", "God", etc. I eventually was crying so hard that I was hyperventilating and curled up into a ball. It felt like Kyo had ripped out my heart and squeezed it until the blood ran down his fingers. I hate seeing him in such pain... I wish I could just take it away from him. I went to the bathroom to wipe up my tears and eyeliner but I ended up crying again. I dug my fingernails into my forehead and covered my face while sobbing and praying. I was talking to Kyo, although I know he couldn't hear it. I want him to feel no pain, but I guess it's inevitable.

I haven't cried like that in forever. Probably like a year or so. I don't plan on watching that again for a LONG time. Unless I just feel like slitting my wrists.
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