myOtaku.com: PeachesXCream

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1991-10-26
Gender
• Female
Location
• In the US of A. :B
Member Since
• 2006-02-27
Occupation
• Obssesor, fangirl, idiot, menace to society, etc.
Real Name
• *shifty eyes* Momo...

Personal

Achievements
• I know a little Japanese. :D
Anime Fan Since
• Before I was an embryo. o_O
Favorite Anime
• DEATH NOTE (:D), Chobits, Trigun, Hana Kimi, Naruto, any shoujo, yaoi, or yuri.
Goals
• To meet Dir en grey, start a band, move to Japan, and become a Japanese translator.
Hobbies
• Listening to music, reading, studying Japanese, writing, watching movies, obsessing, smelling things, etc.
Talents
• I'm okay at learning different languages and am pretty open minded...

myOtaku.com: PeachesXCream

Monday, May 1, 2006

Ain't Afraid To Die
Current Mood: Uh... Iouno
Current Song: Machivealism(SP?) by DIRU

Gah, I haven't posted since Tuesday... ;_; I'm gonna have to tell you all about my crappy week. Grrness... even the great power of Kyo-san wasn't enough to boost my spirits. I was very depressed... but I think if I actually got to see Kyo and if he offered me a bowl of ramen or something I'd be back to normal. ^^ And I am back to normal now, so yays! But I guess I'll have to tell you. Crapness. >_<

Okay, I'll start with the field trip. I woke up at 4:30 in the morning and for some reason was perky and hyper and quite scary. O_O I started bouncing in the hallways and singing and dancing and all my friends were pretending like they didn't know me. LOL When we got on the bus I was really happy because I was talking to Lisa, Korki, and Zakuro while listening to my beloved DIRU. ^^ We were our usually hyper selves and I eventually calmed down. We did all our yaoi/yuri stuff and little doodles and crap. But whenever we went to the college/gardens, I started to feel... odd. I took a picture with Lisa, Korki, and Zakuro but looked at the picture and felt out of place. They're all so cute, adorable, short, and Asian and I'm the ugly, fat, tall, American girl in the middle. I felt really bad about myself and Melody went off with Lisa and Korki. I felt like I didn't really matter... like just because I wasn't as cute as them that I didn't belong. I felt like a minority. We went to the gardens and that made me happy because nature and I always seem to connect... I took like 20 pics at the gardens. XD I went back on the bus and stared at the window. And for no reason, I started crying. The others didn't really pay attention to me, but I didn't really care. I just wanted to cry. I wrote a song about it, and it was really angry and sad. We then went to the science museum (where a lady took a necklace from me to pay almost instantly cause she thought I would steal it or something), history museum, legislative building, and plantetarium. To tell the truth, I would have rather stayed in school. I went home that day feeling empty and ugly.

I got progress reports Friday and I got an "F" in Math... my first "F" ever... I feel like a failure and my parents are pretending like it's all my fault... like I MEANT to get a bad grade. I'm gonna work my ass off trying to make it up.

The guy I like doesn't like me and one of my friends likes him. Also, my friend Rachel is going to the biggest dance with the guy I used to like. I want to hate her but so many people have betrayed me whenever it comes to him... so I say screw it. They can have him.

I got so upset this week... I tried thinking of Kyo-sama to make myself happier, but that just made me feel more depressed. I felt utterly helpless, thinking that I wouldn't ever meet Kyo... so what's the point in false hopes? I want to cry whenever I think about it. But somehow, I'll do my best to meet him (at least) and tell him how much I admire him.

My Kyo... my beloved.

Like I said, I'm back to normal. Still feel a little crappy thinking about it, though. -_-
+Momo+
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