Tuesday, June 13, 2006

   Gomen Nasai...
Current Mood: Hungry
Current Song: Head Like A Hole by Nine Inch Nails

First of all, I'd like to apologize to anyone I might have offended yesterday with my post on animals and vegitarianism. I was just answering a question someone asked the day before yesterday and I admit to adding some of my personal opinions. I'd like to say that I was not asking anyone how they could eat animals, I was just saying that I was not willing to. If I offended you, I really am sorry and honestly did not mean to. Also, I realize that not all animals are exposed to the cruelty of the "factory-farms" (the topic I was shedding light on) and are loving taken care of and given some of what they are deprived of if they were anywhere else. I realize that PETA can sometimes be hypocritical and quite forcing, but you also have to remember that they have helped thousands of people and animals alike. I'm not saying that they're the best thing out there, but the fact that they've saved lives is wonderful. I was trying my best not to be stereotypical and did not want anyone to feel like they were being labeled "cruel" or "heartless" in anyway possible. Please forgive me.

Speaking of vegetarianism, I basically gained permission from my parents to become a vegetarian. At dinner, I got a salad and potato but Mom chased me down saying "hey, you forgot your chicken!" I looked at the chicken with a frown and Dad began to stare at me questioningly but I just ate my salad. Eventually he asked "what's wrong?" I told him that I had read some things and watched a couple of videos and was not able to eat meat anymore. My parents were mad at first and Mom said that she wasn't going to cook two different meals, as if she expected me to. They said they just got angry because they care about me, but I think it's because they don't want to have to deal with the difficulty of two different meals. Either way, I will make my own meals and feel good about myself and my decision. I already do feel better about myself. ^-^

Yesterday I was looking at some pictures of Kyo and almost cried... I noticed that on one concert picture there was some blood on his chest. I looked at another picture of him with his shirt open and saw that he has various scars on his chest from scratch wounds. I knew that he scratched himself on stage and in videos, but I didn't know he did it so much and so severely. I know he's cut himself before, but that really saddened me... to know that he was in so much pain that he had to hurt himself so drastically hurts my heart. I've hurt myself before, almost to the brink of suicide, about a year ago, but I'm better now. I know what it feels like to hate the person you are so much that you feel like you could burst open from all the pain. I want to take his hand and show him the light... to press his head to my heart and be able to tell him that everything is alright. Even though we're half a world apart and speak different languages, I still feel like our hearts are one, beating with every laugh, scream, and cry. I want to take away all his pain... and even now I can't describe how much I care about this man I don't even know.


This is the concert pic, you can see little pools of blood.


Look REALLY closely, you can see the slight discoloration of scars.

Well, I think all my psycological stuff is over... I'm gonna play with my doggy, she's so kawaii!!! :D
+Momo+
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