Sunday, June 18, 2006

   Hate Me Today, Hate Me Tommorow
Current Mood: Tired
Current Song: Hate Me by Blue October

Hello, everyone... wazzup? ^^ You haven't really missed anything since Friday except for some shopping and Dir en Grey rantings. XD Normal stuff. On Friday I layed around the house wallowing in my own filth while watching DIRU videos, printing out vegitarian information, and making some paper cranes. When Mom came home we went to K-Mart to look at inflatable pools (XD we're so ghetto) and I realized how fortunate I am. K-Mart and Big Lots all were poor as hell but were loaded down with security cameras that didn't even work... they're stuck with paranoia because they've been stolen from so much and because of it they can't afford to buy any decent construction and improvements for their store. I felt priveledged to be able to shop at places like Target, and hell, even WallMart. I'm more fortunate than I think... but while we were at K-Mart, my brother and I started screwing around with all the toys and were playing with this Napoleon Dynamyte phrase keychain. XD We're such dorks. And while we were at Big Lots Mom bought me a Finding Nemo pen that I thought was sooooo adorable. ^-^ It's Squirt (if anyone's ever watched them movie), the little baby turtle, has a little fuzzy-feather things with it, is pastel green, and lights up when you write with it!!! ^o^ I call him my "little buddy." :D Today I went to a comic book store (my dad wanted some comics and I was able to drool over some yaoi... XD), get a teddy bear, and watch "Nacho Libre." Okay, first, about the teddy bear. HE IS SOOOO CUTE. He was in the clearance section and he immediately caught my eye... he's a white, fuzzy bear with his head slightly turned. I picked him and he was so soft, I started hugging him and cuddling him... I even named him Mana-sama when I was in the store. XD I wasn't gonna buy him, but his plastic little eyes were begging me... and I decided to rename him because I decided Tooru (Kyo's real name) fit him best... cause it was love at first site! ^o^ I love him and have cuddled him endlessly... now Shinya-Kuma won't be alone! ^-^ Now I just need three more teddy bears named Daisuke, Kaoru, and Toshiya, then I'll have a DIRU of teddy bears. XD I went to go see "Nacho Libre" today and it was sooooo effing funny. I won't ruin it for you, just know that A GUY GETS STABBED IN THE EYE WITH A CORN ON THE COB. That was my favorite part of the entire movie... I laughed so hard at it that I could barely breathe, my stomach hurt, and tears were running down my face. Everytime I see corn now I burst out laughing. XD

I think Kyo just wants to torture me... I was watching a fanvideo of him and almost squee-ed while my parents were in the room. XD I had to cover my mouth and stop the urge to fangirl-ish-ly jump up and down. X_X In the fanvideo.... OMG... *takes a deep breath*... Kyo LICKED his arm *aaaaaaahhhh* AND the microphone stand... *oooooohhhhh* AND then stuck his hand down his pants and began pleasing himself, all on stage.... *WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA* If I could, I would so save that video. And good thing my parents weren't paying attention or else I would have gotten a severe talking to because they know I love Kyo too. XD Which further explains my theory that if (miraculously) I were able to date Kyo (never gonna happen, but wouldn't it be so perfect if it did? ^-^) I WOULD NEVER let him meet my parents. My father hates thinking of me in sexual situations (like any good father SHOULD) and my mom is freaked out by anything I do, so she's be paralyzed from Kyo. XD I still love him, though. Today I was watching some more videos, there was a live and I realized something deep inside of me... Kyo has the most expressive, beautiful eyes I have ever seen in my entire life. Although they may be the traditional "black" color, of the Japanese, they are too vibrant for words and seem to scream "love me." He was preforming a live for a TV show (not sure which one) and his eyes seemed so sad... he was crying without tears. I just wanted to reach out and touch him, be able to tell him that the pain will pass (ooh... that makes me want to get a tattoo that says "This Too Shall Pass.). I know you guys probably think I'm just babbling, but this is just how I truly feel. I feel like such a loser... I saw the PV for "Taiyou No Ao" just today for the first time... -_- Kyo is so beautiful in it, though!!! >o< I hate that bitch who made him feel so badly... she shall pay.


You can't really catch what I mean about Kyo's eyes in a picture, but he's still gorgeous. ^^

"TAIYOU NO AO" BY DIR EN GREY (translation by centigrade-j)
My heart was like it burst into flame, feeling the ring of the bell.
I wanted to stay watching that phone which never rang.

When I turn the street corner, all of a sudden I remember
the shades of midsummer, the movie we often watched together and those days.

The midsummer sun, the season that coincides with my memories
taken away by the wind, never to reach you again.

I look at you crying, just watching you as if its second nature,
unable to do anything.

You're wearing a scent I don't recognize, is that for his sake ?
You pretend not to notice me there,

already five years have come and gone, are you happy with him ?
running into each other in Teramachi, for some reason my heart aches...

The midsummer sun, the season that coincides with my memory
taken away by the wind, never again to reach you.

the cold sun, changes to a new color
I can't hide my scars, colored in a new season.

hurting, hurting each other, people hide their wounds but
I'll try to get over mine, so they become a pretty flower
Raina
the important things are "_____", my memories...

Gah, I'm tired. It's one in the morning and I'm not even in my pajamas. XD Atode, minna.
+Momo+
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