Thursday, August 17, 2006

   Ugh...
Current Mood: Tired
Current Song: Ryoujoku No Ame by Dir en Grey

I am so sorry for yesterday, you guys... I went totally emo. -_- I hate whenever I do shit like that, I want to punch myself in the eye. "Oh, boo-hoo, I'll never meet Kyo, woe to me... blahblahblahblahblahblah, SHUT THE FUCK UP." God, I annoy the hell out of myself sometimes. After giving myself a pep talk and listening to you guys, I felt better. I think the reason for all of this is that... um... that time of month is coming up again. @_@ I've been crying alot lately, over tiny little things, so that's probably what it is. Stupid womanhood.

Later that afternoon I had to go see the doctor for a rather embarassing reason (I don't wanna post it up on here, it's bad enough that my family and the doctor know-but it's not anything huge like pregnancy or anything, so don't freak out.) and I was really nervous. My mom brought two magazines for us to look at while we were waiting, L.L. Bean and Betty Crocker. -_- I took L.L. Bean. I flipped through it and saw some things that were decent, and made fun of everything else that wasn't. XD There was this really cool pair of boots but they were made out of plaid cloth. X_X I wouldn't have minded AS MUCH if it wasn't cloth, but, ew. (God, I sound like such a little fucker. X3) There was one thing that I saw and flipped out over, though-there was a checkered fedora that looked similar to Kyo's fedora in "Ryoujoku No Ame" and in a photoshoot in Kyoto. I was like "Mamma, look at that hat!!!" "Yeah, so what?" "I like that, I've seen it in a music video before!" "What type of music video?" ^^; Then I told her that I want to mimmick Kyo's jacket from "Kodou" and his other one from "DRAIN AWAY", but I didn't say Kyo lest she would go into another one of her rants about how he's a freak and I need a better idol. -_- While we were there, there were also like three different people in wheelchairs. There was one elderly woman who wanted to get around by herself in her chair, but moved only about an inch (I'm not exaggerating) each push. I felt terrible and wanted to help her but Mom told me to let it be. It teared me apart. Then there was a man in wheelchair who was trying to open the door but it kept on slamming back on his chair, so I got up and helped him and held it open for another lady in a wheelchair. It made me feel better, but I still wish I could've helped that lady. ;_; After waiting about an hour, we were finally called back. In the doctor's room, I was really uncomfortable. My mom was in there with me, but I still felt terrible. I had to take my shirt off and put on one of those paper shirts, and I sat there, my entire body stiffened. Whenever the doctor came in, he looked at my back (the source of the problem) and I was shaking the entire time. Then he started talking to my mom about it and pointing on my back and I started crying... they were silent, but I started crying nonetheless. I was so mortified that someone else had seen it, I couldn't help myself. Finally he and Mom stopped talking, he gave me a precription, and left. I put my shirt back on, wiped away my tears, and kept my head low. I felt like an idiot for crying, but still was too embarassed to look anyone in the eye. She finally paid and we went home.


His "DRAIN AWAY" jacket, I also want the tights, boots, collar, belts, and shirt. XD


His "Kodou" jacket (sorry I don't have a better picture. ;_;).


His hat from the Kyoto photoshoot (his "Ryoujoku No Ame" and the one I saw in the magazine is more cream-colored).

Last night was pretty routine, except for the fact that I uploaded about 30 icons... most of them were Kyo, but I also uploaded Mana, An Cafe, D'espairsRay, etc. Yay icons!


XD

I'm feeling a whole lot better than I did yesterday and am pretty pissed at myself for being such an emo little butt-fuck. Well, I gotta go take a shower and eat some ramen. Yummy time~!
+Momo+
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