Monday, November 27, 2006

   Rock 'n' Roll Scars
Current Mood: Peaceful
Current Song:

Konnichiwa, minna-san! I'm sorry I didn't update yesterday, but I went to go see my new cousin. ^-^ We left the house around 10:15 a.m. (which is earlier than I get up during normal weekends -_-) and rode in the car for about 3 hours. @_@ Luckily I brought 3 CDs (DIRU's "Vulgar" and "Withering to Death" and Marliyn Manson's "Antichrist Svperstar"), one of my Japanese books, and my guide to Yonkyuu. Whenever I was listening to Manson, I found out why I just ENJOY listening to his music and don't love it. Sure, he's one of my favorite artists, but with a majority of the songs, I just don't FEEL it. Most of his songs don't have as much emotion in them such a DIRU. Manson can have really meaningful songs (all of his songs have a meaning and a lesson, but I mean something that just grabs you and makes you feel what the artist is describing) like "Tourniquet" and "Man That You Fear", but it doesn't consume me, like DIRU's. To tell the truth, Dir en grey is the only band that has ever seemed to posses my very being and made me feel so deeply. I feel and see in the sound, and everything becomes so vibrant, even with my eyes shut. The feeling is so beautiful, I can't even begin to describe it. But realizing why I truly love DIRU (not just for Kyo, for the music, or for the lyrics) makes me feel like I've gotten closer to the band and I understand everything better. ^-^ Whenever we finally got to Robin and Mark's apartment (Robin is my cousin (the mom) and Mark is her boyfriend (the dad), Robin was busy breastfeeding Millie (the baby) and playing "Ookami" so I didn't get to see Millie for a while (Robin covered herself and Millie so we didn't see anything). Mark got home a few minutes after we came, so it was nice to see him again. We sat around for a few hours, talking, looking at Wiggles (their new ferret X3), playing with Sid (their cat), and "aww"ing over Millie. I held a baby for the first time I was there, and I think it's going to be the last time for a looooong time. I'm afraid to touch babies in the first place because they're so fragile and helpless, and I'm afraid I'll hurt them. Mom asked me if I wanted to hold her, so I decided it would be the right thing to do since I want Millie to know me well, so I can be a mentor to her like Robin was to me. Mom put Millie in my arms and I INSTANTLY felt like I was going to throw up. She felt like Jell-O in my arms and her neck started to roll back. I frantically tried to make her comfortable with Mom helping me and my stomach started churning and my chest started tensing up. Millie started crying (I guess because I wasn't a very good baby-holder) and I immediately freaked out and asked Mom to take her back. It took about 15 minutes for the tensing in my chest to go away. -_- Since Robin hadn't been out of the house really since she was in the hospital giving birth (on the 17th), we went out to go to a organic food store Mark works at so we could get some TVP for me since we can't find ANY here. Mark took me around and reccommended some vegetarian things for me (since he and Robin are vegetarians too), so I have a better idea of what to get next time we go to the grocery store. I got a bottle of organic green tea while everyone got a can of organic soda (I don't know how that works, but okay @_@) and also got this really pretty "lucky karma" bracelet. I got the agate one that's supposed to bring miracles. Personally, I don't believe that the bracelet will instantly bring whatever you ask for. However, I do believe that there is power in everything, and I plan on wearing the bracelet at all times so I can think of my dreams everytime I see it and hopefully work harder at everything I do. Plus, it's pretty. XD After that we went to the mall and visited a few stores (EB Games, Sanrio Suprises, and some candy store) and walked around with Robin and Mom while they tried to make Millie stop crying. After that we caught up with Pam (Robin's mom) and had dinner at this organic cafe place. It was pretty nice, and the sandwich I had was tasty. :D Unfortunately, Millie had to be fed again so Robin and Pam had to leave the restaraunt so Robin could feed her. Once we finished, we went back to the car and Robin was really pissed off. She was tired, didn't feel good, agitated, and it still getting used to the whole mother deal. We drove back to her house and talked for a little while and Pam gave me my late birthday present, a $40 gift card to eBay. I'm sooooo freakin happy because I can't shop online, and I can get some awesome DIRU stuff. :D I plan on getting Macabre, Kisou, Six ugly, VULGAR (I already have VULGAR, but I have a burned copy that doesn't include "AMBER" and I want a serious CD), Withering to Death (same thing with VULGAR), The Code of VULGAR[ism], and 5 Ugly Kingdom. I've been surfing eBay lately, so I can get a whole lot of those, if not all, for that much. :D Eventually we left and got home at around 11:15.

Today was pretty uneventful, but still fun. In Orchestra we sat around again since most of the people are still in New York, so I practiced Japanese, tried to go to sleep, and unintentially listened to some people's conversations. @_@ In Algebra we did the same dumbass thing as we always do and I was bored out of my friggin mind. In Health we have to do a project (my group got "eating disorders"), and we went to the computer lab to do that. Half of the time I was talking to Chasity and finshing the project, and the other half was spent trying to look at pictures of DIRU. XD I think Chasity likes Die and Kaoru the best, because whenever she saw them, she immediately went "oooohh..." XD Whenever I was on my way to Civics, I saw my friends Sydney and Katie and Sydney kissed Katie (they're boyfriend and girlfriend). I pouted and said "heyyy, what about me?" I laughed because I was, of course, kidding. But Katie said "You can kiss her" and all I could do was say "what?!" All of a sudden Sydney put his hand over my mouth, tipped me back, and kissed his hand. XD And to make it worse, my Civics teacher was watching the whole time and just gave me this knowing look. @_@ In Civics all we really did was review this test (that I got an 84 on -_-), so it wasn't all that fun (y'know... except for the delicious X-rated kinky Kyo daydreams I had. *cough* @_@). After school I went to the tree with my friends and made fun of this little paper mache thing Bobby made and kept on using it as a cup. XD I also complained about Daniel always rapes me (not for real, he just pokes me and says he raped me and always grabs my boob out of nowhere -_-) and he grabbed me. @_@ I whined again and he just replied "You know you loved it!" XD I'm always the one in the group who gets "raped" or hugged or groped because I never really do anything about it. Katie always tells me how sweet and cute I am. XD I had to walk home alone today because Nicole's sick with mono, but I didn't really mind. I just practiced my Japanese, especially "soko de sawannai yo!" ("don't touch me there!") @_@


*melts*

I'm sorry that was such a long post, but I felt I had to tell you guys about Millie. :3 Well, I better go away since you guys are probably dying from boredom and I need my share of DIRU. Later! :D
+Momo+
Comments (4)