Wednesday, August 24, 2005

School's started....


First day of school....started off with a bang, or rather, a lazy get up in the morning. I woke up Monday morning with something I like to call: A head banger's hangover. My throat was scratchy, I could not speak from yelling and cheering, my neck hurt from, you guessed it, headbanging, my ears were still acting funny from the noise, and my legs were sore from jumping. There was this old fart that was sitting right in front of me with his daughter or granddaughter (he was so old, i couldn't tell). My friends and I were playing the ABC game from the big screen on the stage while waiting for Jimmy Eat World to come on (they sucked by the way). I was shouting out the letters, being in the lead, getting all excited, add the fact that I was already fucking hyper the whole day. At about H or J, the man turns around and says, "I hope you don't plan on being this loud during the concert."
Maki: .....Sir, I highly doubt that the volume of my voice will ever be louder than the volume that will erupt in this whole stadium.
Old Fart: ...If you *mumble mumble* Hit back of the head *mumble* Binoculars....
Maki: You need to calm down dood! Chill out, it's just a concert, we're supposed to have fun here. Chill.
Anyway, the concert rocked my face, and it still hurt in the morning.
Mind over matter, I just got up and hopped in the shower. I was so focused on seeing my friends again that I didn't really pay attention to the pain. I missed them all.

So my classes: all good. Favorite teacher so far, I would have to say Mr. Montgomery. Oh wow that dude is the shiznit. I like his honesty. Also, my angel is in the class with me, I can see him everyday now. Hizzuh!! Haha, everyday, he sits down, and about 15 minutes into the class period, Mr. M goes: Oooh That cold air, you feel it? Funny, That's when Billy, my wolf guardian comes to visit the class. Billy will usually lay down next to mine and Ray's desk. Yes, he's that big that he'll take up two desk lengths. When he lays down, his spine will reach up to about where the seat is. Ray was wearing a shirt that said "Shhh, I'm hiding from the voices" and Mr. M told us that he had a schizo (spelling?) friend....."Now HE *pause* heard voices.
.......Um....I'm just getting confused. My parents were actually thinking about getting me a shrink last year. All I know is that I love all four of my guardians, and I don't want to lose them. They are my ultimate protectors.

Lunch, good. I forgot about my lactose intolerance yesterday. I drank the school milk and got sick. I was late for Art 2, but I was excused, she wasn't counting tardies for the first week. So now I have to bring Gatorade or something. It sucked though.
First day also- I had received a Konohagakure hitai-ate (Village hidden in the leaves head band) and wore it around the two belt loops on my left hip. I'll post a pic of it later. Well, when lunch was almost done, Walter and I walked up the steps and hung out in the lobby area. I was looking around as he chit-chatted with some other dude. I looked to my left and standing against the elevator wall was this tall guy with a black shirt on. On the shirt was a white outline of the Konoha leaf. I freaked out...silently. He was standing all alone. Well, I peered down to my hitai-ate, and like the true anime fan that I am, I walked up to him, smiled and gave him a hug!! I realized that I didn't even know him, and that He was probably scared, so I withdrew myself and just looked up at him nervously. Konoha-san (that's what I call him) gave me a weird look. I looked around, not knowing what to do, finally, I gave him a quick respectful bow, said "Gomen Nasai", walked away quickly back to Walter and smacked myself in the head. I pulled him toward our next class, I had to get away from Konoha-san.

So today I gave him a note apologizing and stuff. Also, letting him know that he was welcome to come sit with us during lunch whenever he wants to.

I guess that's my week in a nutshell. I just got word that Alex and Matt are coming to the school tomorrow. I hope I'll be able to see them. I miss them so much. The group is different without them. It's just not the same as last year....Oh well, we'll just have to make do.

Love to everybody ~Maki-chan


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Friday, August 19, 2005

August 18, 2005 11: 56PM


I left a kiss on your pillow.

From my computer in my room, I can see the full moon tonight. It’s so beautiful. Before I started up Word, I sat in front of the right side window, and felt my angel’s presence. The trees below danced as if he would be playing around them. I closed my eyes and felt his strong comforting arms around me. I felt his kiss on my lips, and his face close to mine.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before, to be honest. Every waking moment of my time, is committed to him in my thoughts, and my dreams are occupied by his existence. Although it is blissfully, I’m intrigued by the fact that he’s the only one that has had this subliminal effect on me. His spirit is always with me, and I’ve never been happier. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is wrong with him. Like the stars, he lights up my night, and like the sunflower to that fireball in the sky, I always want to be with him. He IS my light.
When he says he’s right outside my window, I believe it. I’ve never been spiritually connected to someone like this ever before. This is what I’ve always wanted.
One thing that he still asks: How does this happen to a wolf and a dragon? Well to be honest, I don’t know. The world works in mysterious ways, and tosses out so many things that we still do not understand. It’s funny how it all happens so fast too. One day, we will figure out how this works. Until then, I’d just like to enjoy the day and the time we have. I love my angel to the deepest extent that any heart could withhold.
The smoke that drifts from my incense reminds me of the times we have together. Drifting away so fast, so smoothly, into the unknown depths of air and unknowingness. It never goes down, pushes wherever it is taken, randomly going where it pleases. When I put it out, it burns and hisses at me, as if it was angry with me for ending its life. It fades away, only temporarily, for it knows that I will want and need it again soon.
So as I stare at this full moon crossing the sky tonight, adrenaline rushing, eyes wide open, I’ll never keep my mind off of him. I’ll love him and his beautiful soul forever. Even after he is gone, whenever that time will come. He is the other part of my mentality that I had been searching for, ever since I came here.
I’m sure there is more to say, at the moment, I’m just occupied by the luminescent glow of the moon that has captured my soul in its youth of the night.

1:15 AM

I finished letting off some of my energy by moving my computer area to a corner in my room. Before, it was right in the middle of my room, in front of the windows. My room looks a lot bigger now. I forgot to turn on the fan during this process, so I started sweating like mad. After it was all done, I moved the box that used to be in the way to the closet, as well as the objects that were cramped up next to it. Now I can open the middle windows with out a problem. Those are the most beautiful ones. I opened and closed the curtains behind me, so that they hid my back. I looked up at the stunning moon.
It was perfect. Right in the middle, right over my head, and the reflections of the window made a cross right on it, the moon was the intersection. The reflections also caused it to have some triple image. I could see 3 clear moons in a straight diagonal. I felt like I was on another planet.

1:22 AM

I looked out the window again, standing up, I prayed to the moon of my guardians. Opening my eyes again, I saw that my middle window locks were undone. I find that peculiar because with my computer in the way, I never really had a chance to open that window until now. I never did before…my parents did maybe? I’m not sure, but I know that I didn’t do it. I didn’t want to open the window now, because dad had set the ADT alarm already. I didn’t want to set it off and wake everyone up. I couldn’t lock one of them though. I didn’t want to push down on the window either, for the same reason as wanting to open it. I’ll just have to do with one. I’ve got enough sharp objects and things in my room to use as weapons. I doubt there will be a time when I will actually get attacked from my window. There is no way anyone can really get physically right outside my window. Even the tree out there is to thin for anyone to really climb up safely. If they were to jump from that tree to my window, they would need some sort of rope to catch them right below it, because they wouldn’t make it to the ledge. Then they would need someone at the window to help them up, and someone to actually open the window to get in safely too. There is almost no ledge. It’s about 6 maybe 7 inches out, and that’s not enough room for someone to balance correctly to get in my room.

2:16

I was laying on the floor, still awake, but spacing out while listening to Green Day on my stereo. Since the floor is kind of hard, I turned my neck to a more comfortable position. At that point I was looking away from my bed. All of a sudden, I felt a sharp, sudden pain on my neck as it someone was biting into it. I grabbed it, but there was no blood. I did enjoy it, I don’t doubt that, but it was surprising.

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had written this a couple weeks ago. It's kinda choppy, but still, ok.

Night is when most of the most of us sleep
I've stayed up so many Days
Figured out so Many Ways to prey on the Full moon tonight
Laying on the floor this hour
I've tasted the Artificial Study of your presence
I'm laying here tonight
A subtle smirk you wear,
You wear and tear it
and my spirit
Like the body on your floor
is a carpet to your feet
MY hero is coming to save me
...flying past why won't he stop?
Most days i sleep
There's a full moon tonight
I've kept it to ourselves
What's your miracle of nature?

It might not make sense to many of you, this is based on a personal issue that in fact many of you might have experianced. I just put a little more detail with mine. I used my own comparisons. I'm thinking about typing up a little more of my writing. Not sure...Should I? I think in fact there IS a full moon out tonight. Those of you who know me well enough, know that I won't get much sleep...


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Tuesday, August 9, 2005

The supposed nocturnal action

I spent the entire day (12 - 8) with Raymond. It was awesome...
I think the best part of it all was when he fell asleep on me while watching Fairly Odd Parents. I felt at ease and so warm, just so...there. I felt so comfortable that I started falling asleep myself. I was only startled when he twitched his whole body, and awoke suddenly. Apparently he was dreaming something, but he couldn't remember what it was. A little while later, we ventured to the driveway, with my skate board that he fixed for me.
I'm a little afraid to get back on the board, especially with that nasty fall in CO, and then with the hill that I live on; I wasn't sure if I would be able to control it. So I just enjoyed watching the most awesome guy be sexy on the board. After that, we felt pretty tired, and it was hot as hell, so we went inside to grab a drink, then we headed over to the pool after searching for some swimwear. Unfortunatly, there were no speedos to be found...u.u
So we walked over to the pool, I was barefoot and the ass-fault burned my feet. I tried to push him in once we got there, but he pulled me in with him. It was Hella Fun though.
I just had the best time with him all day, I love being with him. It's all so...there. Still, the best was when he was sleeping on me, so sacred and silent and free...Peaceful. I could feel his heartbeat on my chest, and it pulsated through his whole body. His steady breathing relaxed me, and his added warmth sent me through bliss, almost to the bliss of sleep. When I did fall asleep, it was a dreamless wonder of a supposed nocturnal action.
He's like an angel...Not to be corny, but it's true...
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Monday, August 8, 2005

I'm so entirely happy right now...even with all the stress of camp, work and my own issues.
I just can't explain the feeling I have *oh jeebus i just sneezed* haha. I just feel like everything is right, and I have nothing to worry about. The rollercoaster is so much fun. I'm actually feeling all giddy and crap. There was just one other guy I felt like that with, but that didn't work out because he moved.
Anyway, the point is that I'm happy NOW. I'm sure many people out there know what this feels like, infinate bliss.
Well, this is just a short update, but I'm just letting you know that I'm still here too. If you want, check out my photo in my introduction. It's supposed to be me in my wolf form, drawn by my very good friend Seth-san. Just copy and paste the URL onto the address bar.
Until next time- LOVE PEACE AND CHICKEN GREASE GUYS!
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Friday, August 5, 2005

Oh man...R******....

Current mood: anxious


Oh man, I'm just...so excited and yet mellow because I'm listening to the Killers. I just spent about 4 or 5 hours at the mall with one of the coolest guys ever. We only talked on the phone for about 2 hours last night, and decided to go to Ingram since we couldn't make it on thursday. We have a lot in common and even though there were a few awkward moments, I had a shit load of fun. We ventured over to Cyberzone and proceeded to play two games of DDR, what else? Haha but he doesn't play very much, let alone like the game either, but he still set the setting on Standard. Well we did play some, and I chose the challenging ones for me. That RevenG song, I aquired an A rating. *cheer*

After that, we wandered around the gameroom a bit and fell upon the skateboard game. Hehe I'm not quite sure of the Title, but I kicked his ass at the game :-)
I find it funny, since I know that he would probably kick my ass at RL skating.
We basically walked around and found random stores to walk into. We never bought anything, except for Naruto 3 + 4, and some Pocky from Suncoast. Yum. At first we ate some Sarku Japan, filled ourselves up, being lunch after Band camp. I love that place. One again, Yum....We also found a neat Japanese Store, which is now my favorite one. If anyone is to buy me anything for any reason, go there, or just buy me some Pocky.
Along the way, we bought fruit smoothie things, and some of the godly Starbucks. We both like Frappiccinos (Maki has no idea how to spell that word :-p She sounded it out). I've learned a lot about him...but for some reason I just feel like I want to learn more, I feel that there is more...maybe, maybe not. All I know is that I want to get closer to him.
Still, the roller coaster tingle in my stomach won't go away, even after my thoughts of him disappear for a moment.



Aside from that, I'm heading off to Diversions with Yugi-san and Tatsume. Off to play RevenG, Mobo Moga, and such.

If the answer is no, could I change your mind?



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Thursday, August 4, 2005

Ok sorry I'm back> haha about two hours later. 8:00 pm.

I guess I'll start from a few days ago. Band camp is cool yes. It was also the only chance that I might be able to see Master a lot. I was never able to see him much this summer, so we broke it off. I'm glad we are still friends though. One last kiss on August 2, 2005.
...I think it was August 2...I don't know I wasn't paying attention to the date. Well, yeah, in a way, I'll still like him and stuff, but I just don't think we could make it.
Other than that everything is great. I met this guy named Raymond, who plays Cymbols in the band. He's cool and like all the same music that I do, Techno and he has the Tetris remix song thingy. It's the one that Yugi lent me one day. I was sitting quietly in Biology listening to Random Techno (I think that's what the CD said on it, it was a mix), all of a sudden, I hear: "Let's play some Tetris, Mother Fucker", in a monotonous voice. I burst out laughing in the middle of a test and everybody looked at me.
I was glad to hear it again today. I freestyled with my rifle to that song, along with different parts of different routines that I knew. When people headed out of the classrooms, he would replay that beginning part over and over again for them. And I would do that same part of the routine also, as if I was part of the CD player, put to rewind.
Michael from Guard and I are most likely going to be the only ones doing rifle. I hope so, it would be cool to have a little duet thing going on. It just depends on Leigh, if she wants to do it. I've already learned the first 12 and 5 counts I think. The theme for this year is going to be awesome. (The Mask of Zorro)I can't wait for the first game. Mr. H said that he wanted us to do something Latin for Winterguard too, so that we won't have to buy new uniforms, but I think we could pull off an Asian theme with the ones we ordered. All we would need is a change in Makeup and the hair, maybe use a few fans here and there...stupid cheap band.
With all this band action, marching outside for two hours, t00b o'ToothPaste exercise, and stuff, it wears you out. Somehow, I'm still able to play at least an hour's worth of DDR afterwards. I'm so addicted to that game. 'Tis crazy.
I unlocked MAX 300 on my DDR Max game, but I can't do it on the soft pad that I have. I can barely pass it on the heavy metal pads at the arcades.

Well, I was looking through my Photobucket, and found this picture of my friends Matt, Alex and Seth. I thought they looked too cute to pass up. Seth, Tell me if you want me to take it off of this post if you don't want your pic up.

I guess that's it for now. I'll talk to you guys later. I'm sure I have more to talk about, you know, stuff, deeper and some ranting here and there.
Oh and also, something funny happened:
I was sitting on my couch, eating a bowl of ramen (beef flavored my favee =3), and I hear my dog Cody, prance down the stairs. I turned to greet him as he smiled his Shiba smile at me. As I looked, I noticed something around his neck; It was my sister's thong!! Oh em gee! He was just staring at me like "What?!" He was so Kawaii!!!
I took a picture of him with my mom's camera before I took it off. Then he nuzzled my Golden Retriever, Casey with it still on his neck, and I took another pic. I don't know how he got that thing on him, but it was adorable.

Anyway, that's all for now. I love you all. No shout outs because I got chewed out for forgetting someone last time and I don't want that to happen again.
I'm off to play more DDR.
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What .hack//SIGN Character Are You?


Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.

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I found Myotaku in my attic!!

HA HA HA!

I haven't updated in a while again. And when I checked my backroom, I thought that everybody would have updated, but alas! Nobody has...

erm... Band/ guard camp has started. It's totally cool so far, except for the sun in your eyes thing. the second day, I wore sunglasses and wound u p with a raccoon tan around my eyes. Haha. Today I forgot my visor AND my sunglasses, so the sun burned out my eyes. We were able to march with flags today though, tomorrow I'm marching with my rifle

Oh wait, mom is calling for dinner, be right back

6:52
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Sunday, July 31, 2005

Sabinal and Hell from Borders
I got my English name, [b]Amanda[/b], translated into Japanese: [b]amanda[/b]!

a is pronounced like the a in father
e is pronounced like the e in edge
i is pronounced like the i in macaroni
o is pronounced like the o in ocean
u is pronounced like the u in truce

Constants are pronounced much the same way as English consonants.

[URL=http://www.keiichianimeforever.com/japanesename.html]Get your Japanese name[/URL] at [URL=http://www.keiichianimeforever.com/]Keiichi Anime Forever[/URL]!

I got my English name, [b]Maki[/b], translated into Japanese: [b]meki[/b]!

a is pronounced like the a in father
e is pronounced like the e in edge
i is pronounced like the i in macaroni
o is pronounced like the o in ocean
u is pronounced like the u in truce

Constants are pronounced much the same way as English consonants.

[URL=http://www.keiichianimeforever.com/japanesename.html]Get your Japanese name[/URL] at [URL=http://www.keiichianimeforever.com/]Keiichi Anime Forever[/URL]!

Well this past few days have been the shit. And that's not a good thing.

My new friends, apparently, don't give off very good first impressions. I asked Josh to hold onto my bondage straps under his Trench coat and my parents got all paranoid about what it could have been. I don't know how to make them understand. They are not the ones that hang out with him and such. They don't know him. Thomason: the only thing that didn't impress dad was the fact that he didn't take off his sunglasses during the introduction.
Who the hell is going to remember to take off his sunglasses when we are all trying to figure out what is going to happen for the rides home?! Anyway. I'm not allowed to see either of them anymore. Just talk on the phone. Tony, I'm only grounded from talking to him for a week. This is so stupid though. And I was this close to telling my dad about my bisexuality that night. THIS CLOSE!! *squeeze fingers to this distance apart*---> (----) But I couldn't do it. eh... Maybe I'll get another chance later. I can't stand this.
Anyway, Thomason actually does use his smarts for good though. Josh just needs a little more support from his family. Josh also had a broken arm that he can't get through the sleeve of his coat. It's stupid. But answer me this: How many more years do I have to put up with this? 2? maybe a little less?

Well on to good things I guess.
My fingers kinda hurt while i type this, for the tips are raw. I spent all day at the river in Sabinal. The reason why my fingers are raw is that I climbed up the dam that kept the river stable (?). The dam was only about 10 feet high, with the water flowing down like a water fall. From the higher end, you can climb on top of it, be careful with the moss and stuff, then jump down into the 7 foot space in the bottom. On that side of the dam are ledges, or pillars, that have small nooks to place your hands and feet to climb back up on. The thing is that you need somebody to sit or lay down at the top of those pillars so that the water won't fall on your face.
The rocks were hard....duh. So my fingers are raw from climbing about 50 hundred times. Jumping was fun. We also found a rope to jump from. You climb on a tree and have someone hand you the rope, then just go for it. Only Sami and Samora went though. They didn't climb high enough so both of them touched the water with their feet and messed up. Instead of walking all the way over there on the dry land and getting cold again, Samora, Sami and I decided to swim to the tree. I had to keep myself from thinking about the documentarys on Loch Ness monster and stuff. Haha it was really silly though. Mind over matter. The surface of the water was warm from the sun, but deeper, about one foot down, was cold. We were swimming against the current, almost in the middle of the river. Of course we couldn't feel the bottom anymore, and Sami was getting freaked out. I felt fine as long as I kept saying that they were just fish. And there really was just fish in the river. Not big ones, more like just minnows, never longer than 5 inches. Samora started to get tired about halfway there. So I stopped and waited for her, trying to stay in one place. I told her to just try and float, kicking gently with her legs to keep her moving. She was a bit scared so I had to swim to her and help her out a bit. I love swimming. I like to swim under the water though, totally submerged. I could still see where I was going in that river, so everything was fine. Samora, Sami and I made it, but to get to the land, we had to walk on this gross, grassy, seaweed stuff. It felt like small itty bitty skinny snakes flowing around my legs and feet.
This girl Samora: really Cool/Hot chick that my sister works with Sami said that she was bi too. We kida flirted a little bit, I gave her a hint about myself. She was really, really cool though. A little old for me maybe, but awesome nonetheless. She has a dragon tattoo on her left arm, and a small mushroom tattoo on her inner right ankle. The best part about meeting her was that right before she was going to jump off the ledge for the last time, her boob was almost falling out the bottom of the swimsuit. I yelled, trying to tell her, but she couldn't hear so I just let her jump. The first time I jumped, I was a bit nervous, but I did it when she said she'd go with me. I'm thinking about volunteering at the humane society with Sami to see her again.
Anyway...
The reason why we went to Sabinal was for Madrina's birthday. She's 48 today. I went out with mom and bought her a cake and a present. It was really nice, the present. It was a triple pedestal candle set with rocks on it. So pretty! And I wanted one for myself. Instead I bought myself a new set of incents, and some Cone incents (sp?). They smell so good and it's my favorite: Purple Haze. I'm in heaven right now.

I really want to go to Borders and buy some of the Trance and yoga music that Thomason, Josh and I were listening to. We must have spent about half an hour just meditating up there. Josh was in all black with his trench, Thomason, dressed in all white, me, a peasant shirt and Tripp pants. The three of us were just in heaven. kind of. Anyway, it was a moment I would never forget. I think we are going to be friends for a long time.
The funny part is that right before we found that music section, We looked around and I pointed out an Invader Zim action figure on the counter. I Tapped Josh's shoulder and pointed to it, knowing that he's obsessed with Invader Zim. His eyes got so big as he twitched and when he saw it, he got so excited that he farted out loud....Seriously.
It was hilarious, but we all calmed ourselves down because poor Josh was embarrassed.
Yesterday I got off of work and found Tony. We hung out for the last hour and had some fun. I really miss him though. Stupid restriction.
I can't wait for tomorrow. Band and Guard Camp. I'm totally set, can't wait to get started on the rifle routine. Seth, did you know I'm spinning rifle this season? Michael put me in the Beginner Rifle class for the 3 day camp thing. I hope it goes well. We'll see tomorrow, ne?

Well, it's been an exciting day and I'm still tired. I fell asleep on the way back from the place and also when I got to my driveway. The pavement was so warm, I sat out for a little bit and finally decided to lay down. I think I fell asleep for 5 or 10 minutes. ^_^
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