Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Quiz Stolen from Seth-chan

Your inner soul is calling for help! You always
seem so depressed, lonely, and feel like an
outsider. You may have a cold, sad exterior,
but in all reality you are hurt inside and
bottling up all of your anger. Everyday you
wonder why are you still here when there is
nothing left? You use to once be a happy,
loving soul, but it was damaged by 'them' and
seems like it never can be fixed again.
However, you have yet seemed to realize that
there are people out there that deeply care for
you. They secretly have a thing for you because
they find you to be dark, mysterious, and full
of secrets, not to mention being the prettiest
person in the world! You like to enjoy your
time by yourself expressing your feelings
through forms of art, and enjoy nice quiet
scenaries that just dazzle your mind with awe.
Your bedroom is basically your sanctuary where
you can hide out, hidden from those who gave
you all of the pain. Try to loosen up and have
some fun! Never start frowning because you
never know who's falling in love with your
smile :)


Wow...prettiest person eh?
*shakes head* whatever

I woke up yesterday from the weirdest dream. It involved A hermaphadite (doesn't know how to spell it), me loving that person, A bunch of friends in an open-air bath, Phlinx was the only one not in a bathing suit. He was wearing his Kakashi costume and standing in the shallow end with his arms crossed. Everyone else was in there swim suits, yes, there were boys and girls. Behold, the Multi-sex Open-air bath of Maki's dreams....
Yeah, we were all sitting there, i was doing some deed, not to be mentioned here in this journal for fear of putting bad images in other's minds and scarring them...We were all waiting for this evil women. We all knew that she had taken all the elementary schoolers and making them do extensive exercise in mud outside in the hot sun. They had no sunscreen.
I also had another dream, i just forgot what it was. But i knew i had one. I hate it when that happens.
But Seth, no matter what, i will always love you like a sister!
Anyway, on to my boring life. Seth and i performed our thingy in Dance Class and it rocked people's boxers off. I thought we did very well for improvising about 90% of it. Trinity was sent to get my beloved Master from his Office Assistant job, and he pulled Sami, my sister, out of class to come see me. I wore the purple shirt that Mr. H. lent me for the Parade. It actually went with the drawings a little bit. And it was a coincidence that i wore my hair the way i had designed it in my character designs.
The performance was really cool. I messed up a bit during the Battle scene, But i think i made up for it during my solo, where i made up a lot of ballet moves and spins while dancing with Seth's sash. It was a symbolism thing.
GOOD JOB SETH-CHAN! *high fives you*

After Dance, Master took me to the stairs and dropped me off. He had to go to class so i let him go there. I went to Biology, where i took a test and began some notes.
I was able to get out of school early to go drop off my brother at the Airport. I won't be able to see him until August i think. I miss him already, but i didn't cry when he left this time.
Luckily i didn't have to go back to school, i told mom that i needed to finish up some homework, which was the truth. I'll probably get some points off for the assignment being late. I need to kick it up into high gear if i want to get into NESA.
No more sleeping in class....FROM THIS DAY FORWARD!
Anyway, i wanted to go take a walk outside, but mom made me go to curves...i don't like that place. I miss going to yoga. Curves isn't working for me. I'm still at 160. At yoga i was losing a little bit. I was at 145, and when i stopped, i gained 15 fucking pounds....how the hell does that happen? Unless it's muscle, which i highly doubt. The only muscle i think i'd gain is in my legs from the DDR i play so much. Who knows....All i know is that it's bugging the hell out of me everyday.
Ok i'll stop. Sorry for that last rant...it's my journal and i can say whatever i want to in it. And, it's your choice, so you can skip whatever part you'd like.
Enjoy!!
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Sunday, April 24, 2005

Current mood: contemplative

Heh....I got a tan from Marching in teh Battle of the Flowers Parade The day before yesterday...when i moved my sleeve to look at it, i also noticed i had a bruise from where Michael bit me...I poked it and it hurt good.
i also bit him alot at the rave block party. At the end, i almost collapsed totally unconcious from the major activity my legs had been going throught that weekend. I didn't get to rest up much before the party. I was Freehanding and dancing, you know, moving around a lot, and suddenly sharp pains coursed through my legs and i pretty much fell. A lot of the pain was in my left leg, it usually is. Master helped stretch them out and get me back up again. I was up and dancing again in less then 10 minutes after that. I'm so dumb.
A little while later, a fight broke out about 5 feet to my right. Two Stringers were having a battle and one of them got mad and started a fight. They got near me, wrestling all over the ground and i thought they were gonna pull me into it. I had a glowstick in my mouth and i bit down on it when i moved away, but i bit a little too hard. I tasted awful stuff as the DJ pulled the two guys apart. They walked away and i spit out Blue Glow-in-the-dark spit....
I had to keep spitting for about 15 minutes while taking sips of water and gatorade. My cousin Crystal, Master, and his Sister Becky were around me, making sure i was ok. Danny (the dj's son who is also a friend of mine), cam out and said that some people said that i started the fight. I have no idea how that could've happened. They then were going to get on our cases about the party being over and gettig us out of there. Danny told them to leave us alone and that we're VIP's, we could take as much time as we wanted, that and because i was busy trying to get that horrid taste and chemicals out of my mouth. He said they were non-toxic and that i'd be ok. He stuck with me for a little bit though. He's the coolest. He mixed the music for my speech at my debut and got it all perfect. It was nice to see him again. I thanked him and headed out towards the car with everybody.
On the way to the car, Becky had some guys hooting at her, saying "Hey, we got some beads!!!"
"Don't look at them Becky" I said to her

She is a very pretty girl, she even competes in those model things. That's the only reason i was afraid to have her come downtown with me. I knew, me Crys, and Master would be ok, but we all had to keep an eye on her. I love her to death, she is such a sweetheart though.
After dropping off my lovely home, giving him a long goodnight kiss and a small nip on the shoulder, I headed for my own home with Crys. She was to spend the night. We talked for a bit before i crashed while she was still talking to me. I was so tired, she understood and went to sleep on the fold out couch after she noticed my eyes didnt' open when she paused for a long time. She just needed to talk whatever it was out because she seemed ok in the morning. She needed to spend some time out of the house with other people and have someone to talk to, even if they don't respond. I didnt talk toher for abit before i crashed, so it was all good.
I went to today's parade...Some old couple behind us kept yelling at us for standing up. It was funny so i got up whenever a school band would pass by. They didn't get up for any displaying of the American Flag though. It was amusing to annoy them. On the way home, i got to lean on my brother's shoulder and sleep like i used to do on road trips when i was little. I missed doing that. I missed my brother a lot.
Got home and went straight to the computer....posted a couple of times on Glowsticking.com, about to go to bed cuz i'm tired as hell. *looks at the computer clock* holy crap it's 2 46 am. ok yeah i'm going to sleep, just one more thing: I was watching the Incredibles with the kids i was to babysit today. It was towards the beginning and Mr. Incredible *saves* the man from a suicide. The creepiest conversation came out of them, being that theya re kids, naturally quiet, come from a religious family...
Clara (6): that man didn't want to die
Me: *looks at her sitting next to me on the couch* Really?
Clara: *nods* Abby, why did he save him?
Abby (8 or 9): I don't know
Clara: He saved him when he didnt' want him to...

It was kind of wierd...in way....

Goodnight everybody

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Thursday, April 21, 2005

   I just registered at www.glowsticking.com!!!

My day was pretty cool. I showed up a little late to practice because i almost forgot the glowsticks for mine and Seth's dance performance. It's a good thing the guard wasn't doing anything when i got there. I got to practice in my Bondage pants...that caused me to catch my pole in the straps a couple times, other than that, i did pretty well. Marching was good and i was having a good morning.
After that i went back to "A" building and played around outside for a bit. Mikako-koi was hurting a bit. I wish i couldn't helped her, but i couldn't. I tried to help her up the stairs as much as i could, but she was still in pain and it made me sad to see her hurting so much. She should've gone to the nurse. She looked so sick when i left her for class. I wanted to stay with her to make she was all better. u.u
I didn't get to see her at all for the rest of the day. I hope she went home after she did her tests. I hope she's doing ok.
I didn't have tests today. I sat around the desk all day and drew, slept, watched TV, and scared people with my makeup and clothes again. I carried my pole around all day, or at least until Dance class came. One of those Pep Squad girls came up to me while i was practicing my crappy stringing.
"are you a stringer? Can i try?"
*Maki shrugs* "Sure go ahead" I hand her the strings and sticks, unaware of the phenomenon that was to take place.
This chick was awesome, i know i suck, but she was just so cool. You learn something new about a person everyday don't you. Anyway, it was cool. Respect.
I went to my biology class and worked on a worksheet. I was happy to actually have some work to do. I was actually tired of sitting around doing almost nothing.
Everybody thought i looked cool in my little shirt with the tuxedo on it and my new pants...Many compliments. I need to go buy another pair. I can't just be rotating those pants every week. I felt awesome all day.
So all in all, I'm officially 16 years old.
I miss seeing Yugi, Seth and a bunch of other people at lunch....hanging around your b/f everyday can get boring. No just kidding
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Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Oh yeah, and i'm going to this Rave Block Party thing on the Friday-ness. I can't wait. Seth and I are going to do this cool rave thing for our silly dnace class. Those damn prep squads broke my Tape player thing. *stabs them all*

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SO MUCH GOING ON!!! ]
[ music | Egnigma ]

Hey i know i promised to update that one day, but i was way too tired to do it. I'm sorry. Don't shoot me.
I'm doing it now though, i'm also eating peanut brittle, so be happy.

April 16th, 2005, was the shiz. At first it was funny when the Mariachis followed me around everywhere. My friends got semi-annoyed because i went wherever they were. So they were around the mariachis. hahaha. yeah, but htey rocked.
I raved the night away in my pretty, flowing, red and black dress with Seth-chan. It was funny because my old fashioned Grandma expected for the dress to be white (for purity). hahaha. Well, i chose to havea colored dress because White is too damn boring, and there is no...oomph in white. Nevertheless, the party was awesome. The hall was beautiful, and my family... LOVE MY FRIENDS. They kept telling me how well mannered and polite and nice you guys were. (for the ones that did come). I love you guys so much, you always know how to cheer me up and make me feel like the sun that warms this very earth.
I almost started crying when they all came up to me to either ask questions or tell me something encouraging at the front of the stage. I never thought that so many people would actually care about me the way you guys do. I know that you'll be there for me forever. The thing that was supposed to happen: there was a rose on each table. And each table was to choose a representative to come up and ask a question about me or my life. This was to get to know me better and stuff. The thing that i didn't expect was for people to just come up andjust tell me that they'd always be there, they loved me, and would do anything for me. I realized that i had people around me that actually cared for me. There was even a couple that i'd never seen before (but apparently i'm related to) come up to me and say that there was extended family that i didn't know, but they would still help me out whenever i needed to.
....I love you guys....I just can't say it enough. I also love the people who i know couldn't be there for their own reasons. Ashley, you had trouble at the gate guard. I couldn't get you in though. Sorry, but i love you too!
Ohh man...I pray for each and everyone one of you guys every night, and every day.
Ok i'm done being emotional. The music was awesome and Cracker was an awesome dancer. It's so crazy and creepy that his brother had a crush on me that night though...*shudders* Yech. Ew. Other than that, It was just....perfect. I danced the night away and only took breaks to take pictures and hang out in the lobby with my friends when we grew tired. Those pictures started to get annoying though. I would be interrupted in the middle of dancing and get all these flashes in my eyes. After a while, i had to sit down and stuff. I took a picture with Mikey too. Mikey is cool. He's from my Friends Having Fun Club. There, i get ot eat lunch and hang out with the kids from Special Ed. Class. Mikey is the coolest though. And i taught him how to rave!! He can spin and reverse it on his arm just like me. Since he lassoes (you know, with the rope?), I told him that all he has to do is pretend that the glowstick is the rope. He did it with no problem. It was cool.
I went out to the lobby for a bit and took some group pictures with my digital. I have to go edit them though. The damn lighting was horrible. I had fun, and Cracker picked me up and carried me around. I got a pic of that too. We were so hyper and crazy. There was no alcohol, but we sure as hell didn't need it. Mom was acting crazy too. She went onto the dance floor skipping with my friend Eric. I'm so proud of her for losing wieght. I'm not sure if anyone else notices it, but i sure do. She was so full of energy last night, it just made it even better.
The night finally ended around Midnight, and i had the last dance with my lovely Michael. I couldn't think of any other way to end the night. It was absolutely perfect.
We took Bobby home and Eric too. When i said thank you to his dad (still in my dress) "Thanks for letting Eric come to my debut" He only replied, "i didn't let him come" And then he ushered Eric in and closed the door in my face without saying thanks for the ride, or thanks for inviting him. It pissed me off. I don't want him livign there. I wish i could ge t him to our house and let him stay. At least here he'll have a bed. Eric is one of the best friends i've ever had in my life and i care for him just like a brother. I couldn't stand to see him hurt in any way.
I got home, sorted all my gifts, changed into my night clothes, prayed to Billy, Sha', Joey, and Jess, then i went to bed and woke up around 12 45 sunday morning. I called Cracker to come over and watch me open my gifts. We sang happy birthday to him and put some candles on the leftover cake for him to blow out. Hahaha. We're so cheap. It's ok his family did the same thing later that night. We hung out at my house for a bit and then my cousins came over. We played DDR upstairs and i lost about 1 and a half pounds...
I took him home and hung out with Victor, cousin jesica and tristian. I got about 3 purses for my presents... a lot of bath stuff, and some Pocky...I got a bunch of other stuff too. I'm just too lazy to name it. it's all just a big blur and it's all piled into a bucket in my room to be sorted out this weekend. hahaha Thank you guys for all the gifts. You should be recieving Thank you letters soon.

Monday~~
Got up, got ready in 10 minutes for school and left. We had Colorguard practice from 7 15 til 8 15. I forgot about the type of shoes i was supposed to be wearing, so i had Flip flops. I took them off before we started marching with the, because i've walked barefoot so many times on the exact pavement we were marching on, and it doesn't bother me. But Marissa wanted me to wear them, so i did. Moments later, i was informed that i was to give Mr. H 20 or 25 push ups, along with a few others that wore flip flops as well, but i got away and didn't do them. I might have to do them later though....depends on Marissa tomorrow. Oh well. That'll teach me, ne?
We had TAKS Science portion today (Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills) i think that's what it is. Yeah, i finished it quickly and started drawing some. I began a comic strip, but it needs work. It looks cool so far though. We also watched Toy Story in spanish. That was mildly amusing to see the lips move to the english words. I replayed in my mind what their lines would have been if it were English...
Watched a movie on racism in World History. We have yet to present our projects, which will surely get me up to a passing grade. Which reminds to go check my grades online after i press the update button. I got home and we took Cracker's Tux thingy back to the place. I went to the mall and with my Hot Topic Gift cards worth about 85 dollars, i got some new bondage pants, a shirt, and some new Dragon's Blood Insense ( still have no Fucking clue how to spell that damn word)
I had my rituals for all my guardians and for the ones i've given. Yes, Kenny, i blessed your guardian in my own special way so that he'll still be able to protect you. I do this every month, so make sure you send him to me once a month so that i can do that ok?
Well, i guess that's about it. I dont know how long this was. But i really needed it. I'm currently talking to Aaron Novy on AIM, letting some crap off my chest again. Aaron Novy you're the best.

MY BIRTHDAY IS ON APRIL 20TH!!! 2 mOrE DayS!!! Approximately....
And Thank you Phlinx and Ian for your thoughtful birthday wishes! I really wish i could meet you guys. Hopefully at A-kon, yes? It means a lot to me! Ai shite ru!
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Friday, April 8, 2005

I don't think anyone can imagine what kind of pain i went through last night, and today. Actually, i can think of one other person, but she's been helping me so it's ok. This is my journal so i don't have to hide back any details, I won't mention names, for SOME privacy's sake, but i will say what happened because i just need to get it all out.
Yesterday morning, i recieved a Text message saying "I feel like Shit" I tried my best to help you, and i hope i did. I told you i loved you so many times. And only recieved those same three words in reply a few times throughout the day. I knew something was wrong when you didn't talk to me much during the day, or after school. Usually, you are the one who keeps up with the messages and i almost get in trouble for it. Anyway, I remembered IMing you and much awkward silence was emitted. I found that quite unusual and i tried something. Usually when i go away for something, you say "come back" or something like that. This time, you didn't. Not even when i left for about 45 minutes to go eat and get ready to go somewhere.
Later that night, i asked you what was wrong.
The words you said that night...ripped out my heart and tore it to pieces. I felt like it was stepped on, ran over, and stabbed a million times. The room started spinning and I almost fell out of my seat. I'm serious, not exaggerating. All those things you said before seemed meaningless. That's why it felt like you lied to me. You said you would be there forever and ever. Then you go and find another girl that "loves you the same way i do". That she's "exactly like me" (me, being the person who is typing, if anyone is confused, and I, meaning the same). Yeah, it's a good thing that she's there for your hugging pleasure and stuff. But if you told me to wait, i would have expected you to do the same. Wait i know what you are thinking, maybe i do....I know you have feeling and emotions, i can't stop them from coming, and i can't stop the girls over there from hanging out with you. So it's nobody's fault.
But really. I don't think anyone could ever give you the same kind of love as me. The amount of time, tears, blood, and love i spent on you was just...i don't know, so much, i couldn't believe i was capable of doing it. Everynight, i lay my head down on my pillow, and i could smell you. The blankets that you used are full of your scent, it surrounds me every night, whenever i lay down to rest. All the memories flood back to me, sometimes i cry, sometimes i dream, sometimes i just sit there and think about you. Either way, i never stop thinking of you.
All of this is the reason why i stayed up 2 hours after we stopped text messaging last night. I fell asleep in my closet, where i was hiding. I didn't want my parents to find me and know what i was crying for. That's the other thing i did for you. I was willing to lie to my family just for you. Just for you.
All in all, you said you were happy. After all that happened throughout the day, after my best friends talked to me, i realized that i should be happy. And i am. I love you so much that all i want is for you to be HAPPY. Are you happy? If you are, tell me. Until you tell me, i'm going to keep worrying. I won't be happy and ok with it until you are happy. So just tell me. Text me, comment, IM me, anything ok? You said we were still friends so don't be afraid to do any of that.

Besides that- My day....
I woke up and went to the shower. Since Sami is away on her Dallas trip, i used her shower, to avoid confrontation with the parents. I got clean and went to school. Seth went on teh Dallas trip too, so needless to say, the group was lifeless until Matt and Josh showed up. We crumpled up newspaper and Matt had boobs. I pinched them and gave his the ultimate purple nurples...but alas, they didn't work. Yugi came a little bit later and...
Ok, well i'm going to have to finish this tomorrow. Mom is kicking me off. Basically, my day was just pure bad luck

TO BE CONTINUED
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Wednesday, April 6, 2005

   Rape dreams 3rd edition *Last part, kinda gross*
Yeah buddy, i got a new pet. His name is Lenny...*Cough*Cough*

I just woke up from a three hour nap. I went to sleep at about 6, and woke up around 8 50 or so. I had another rape dream last night though...that's the third one this semester.
I was walking up the stairs at my house, all of my family was home, but they were downstairs. My mom's room turned in a giant computer room. There were white computers lined up all the way around the walls. I entered it as a boy with blonde hair left the room. I remember that boy was wearing a white tuxedo shirt and black dicky pants. I couldn't see his face though. I walked into the room and the professor was standing in the middle.
"Professor, i just need to type this report up real quick, then i'll hand it in for you"
I sat in the the middle seat, of the wall that was on the same side of my mom's bathroom (that's gone in the dream by the way)
The professor had a small puffy beard, black hair, graying a little, he was wearing a suit, with a blue shirt under his coat.
My hair was in the front, resting on my left shoulder. I remember, he walked up behind me and pulled my hair to my back, slowly, and rested his hand on my shoulder, and began rubbing it. He turned off the lights.
"Professor, i need the light to finish my work (even though i really don't IRL, it was a dream, and in it, i knew what he was going to do, so i was trying to prevent it casually)"
I got up, and turned the lights back on, standing there and staring at him, trying to intimidate him and making sure he knew that he didn't phase me. He walked over and put his hand on mine, turning the lights back off. I could feel his face close to mine and i pushed away. Falling back, i landed on my butt, and i crawled back, toward the stairs outside the room. I almost fell.

Well, at first that's all i could remember, but something else just came to me that happened...

I remembered riding in the car with my mom and dad. It was nighttime and raining. I don't recognize the street now though. All the little houses on the right side were dark, but i saw the little white house that had green trimming on the borders. (that house really exists on a street here, but that wasn't the street in my dream. It wasn't the same)I was talking to mom and dad about something. We got off the busy street and stopped in front of another house. It was still dark and raining. I saw the man in the alley, and i just stared at him...Mom and dad didn't do anything, they got out of the car, and left me alone inside. That's when i woke up.

I've gotten so paranoid kinda. I didn't want to go with mom to go look for a dress for her. I stayed home and took that nap today, i woke up and it was really hot in my room. I was sweaty and the taste of vomit was in my mouth. I notice there were two spots of blood on my pillow. I'm not sure where they could be from, either Kenny's eyebrow peircing, or my newly gauged ear. That was the last thing i saw before my nap. I didn't dream anything though.

I still fell asleep in Biology. Almost the whole time. Funny though, even if i sleep in that class, i still know what is going on in the assignment and finish it. The girls that sit around me have no fucking clue what they are supposed to be doing, and copy off my paper. I suppose i should just not let them do that.

Anyway, i'm afraid to go into my mom's room at the moment. My right eye is tearing (as in tear, the little drop of water) up, it's crawling down my cheek. I still feel really hot, as in temperature...I can still taste vomit in my mouth, and my hands smell funny...What's going on?

BTW- I'm not meaning for ANY of this to be funny. This is serious and i'm kinda scared.


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I went to sleep last night at about one or so. The Daylight savings killed me just a bit. Losing an hour of sleep sucks. I went to school in a good mood though. Mom put some water on the stove for my Chamomile herbal tea. It made me feel better. I got to school and Tatsume and Crystal-koi actually waited for me at the bus loop. I felt kinda special. ‘Twas funny though, Master wasn’t there. Maybe is because he’s got a bunch of shit going on between them. Not shit, just major tensions. I don’t even know why there is such a big deal with them…Actually I do, It’s just really dumb. If Master would just hold his tongue when he has some special comments. And his past…Tatsume…man, would you just chill out with that?

Seriously, whatever happened happened. It’s not effecting us now, so it shouldn’t be a problem. You think you know him better than I do? You don’t talk to him as much as I do. Not even your abilities can reveal what I know. Just close it, leave it and just deal with him. He’s doing the same for you, the least you can do is give the same respect he gives you. Don’t you think that if you really hated somebody, you would try your best to keep them away from you? Doing whatever you can just to knot deal with them anymore? Basically just ignore the hell out of them?

Today, was pretty good I guess, other than that. I actually did most of my homework. The only stuff I didn’t do is the English homework. I haven’t been able to do the homework because JP still has my book. I need to get his book back to him too. But it seems I left it somewhere in another classroom. So I need to get his book number so I can go search for it in those big closets that has books piled up shelf after shelf. Whoop! I fell asleep in English…the only class I fell asleep in today. I passed up two tests...That means I’m going to fail…maybe. I haven’t been able to do the worksheets either. I’m afraid to borrow other peoples books because I might lose them. Bobby lent me his book and I gave it right back to him after class. I did one question from the test.

Dance class was decent I guess. Seth and I just sat there while we had a sub. Then we went outside and sat because the girls were playing that funky hippity hop music. A few minutes later, they migrated outside as well, so then we just gathered our things and headed to B building. Moments before, Chris came from his
Geometry class to give us a visit. I got a quick hug and left. I got a bunch of RSVP’s from my friends.

Yey, I can’t wait until my debut. Almost two more weeks, until it’s here. The thing that sucks is that we have practice for Colorguard the same day of my debut. I can’t miss a practice, if I do, I won’t be able to take part in the Battle of the Bands thing. Mom said that she would call and talk to Mr. H. Hopefully something will work out. I need someone to come over and give me extra practice.

On the way home, Seth and I were so hyper and talked about the most random things. The bus was crazy. Every time there was a bump, we would almost be thrown off our seats.
“Have you ever farted so hard that it lifted you off the seat?”
“YEAH!! And when you’re laughing so hard that you FURT?!”
“Yeah!”

Oh man, the conversations we had on that bus ride…I don’t think we really stopped laughing until we actually got to the school. It was fun though. Fart Knockers are we! I know I didn’t fart, but I’m guessing she did!! And yes, she did say FURT! On the highway, I was waving toe the people in the cars behind us. But they would always change lanes because the bus was moving too damn slow. Needless to say, nobody waved to us back. I had a sign that said “Have and sweet day” and it had a little character from that Love Sugar song on DDR. I looked up out of the window and saw a black duck with something in his beak. It looked like one of those Black Cat Fireworks. We thought it would be funny if he swallowed it and exploded. Seth started making random duck noises with her hand and lips. I tried and It sounded like a retarded duck. We also said that if we feed the duck Alka-Seltzer, it would explode. (Look Seth- I spelled Alka-Seltzer right!) My little duck noise sounded like a fart, and we went back to making farting noises. We were sitting up with our legs on the seat in front of us. I reached in between Seth’s legs and pretended that she had some sort of mutant baby. Yey for mutant babies!!! She found a little hair rubber band thing and I dared her to fling it at Micheal. (his last name is Specker). She missed and it hit Emerald’s window. She freaked out thinking it was some sort of bug. But it was mildly funny. So many things come out of mine and Seth-chan’s mouth when we’re hyper. Like Ian’s painful butt itch. I had one of them’s once… I yelled it out to her right before I left the parking lot. It made me laugh, but mom had a funny look on her face… I think that The bus ride to Alamo Stadium and back was the shizz-nit. It definitely made up for the crap I had to go through today.

It’s so confusing… friends…what to tell them when they’re sad, when every other person has said the same thing to them as you do. Understand that it just takes time ok? I know you can do it. I love you, be strong! The other ones that seem to love you so much…and you can’t seem to give the right amount of love back, because of one minor detail...Sometimes i wonder why i even bothered to make friends...

Also, I talked to my brother a couple days ago. I’m actually thinking of coming out to him. I think it’s a good idea. I think he would give me support. I need suggestions or feedback on whether or not I should tell him when he comes down to visit next week for my Sweet Sixteen. Come on, give me some help. I can’t wait for the Japanese Tea Garden Ceremony. Mom is actually letting me go. I got her to talk to Kandis and now she knows what is going on. She’s coming too. I’m thinking about asking my dad to come too. I’m tired of keeping so much of my family in the dark…Do you guys th ink it’s time to let them know who I really am?
Him: “The moment you get here, I’m never letting you go”
Her: “I hope you never do.”

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Saturday, April 2, 2005

   Type on word, Copy and Paste later
What did i do today?

I got up at about 6, Decided i wasn't going to shower since i was going to get all stinky anyway. The snooze button was then pressed a total of 4 times before i realized that i had to be out of the house by 7. That means I only had 24 minutes to get on my uniform and get my hair up and out the door. Actually i was supposed to be at Warren at 7, we left at 7....
We got to Warren and prepared to leave with the bus. I had to grab a tube buddy. We have the props, and basically, they're green tubes. Our theme is Super Mario Brothers, so we had a styrofoam castle and little green tubes. They kept moving around on the bus ride there. The driver was crazy, but cool. So i had a tube buddy. I love tube buddies.
All of last week was hell, but Seth-chan and the rest of the friends at school made me feel better always. Especially when they push me into an “orgy”. That always makes me feel better. Haha just kidding, but not really. I broke down on Tuesday I think, then I found out who my true friends are. Only four of them showed up by my side hugging me and telling me it would be ok. (Seth, Yugi, Master, Crystal, and Tatsume was with me, not physically, but I know he was there) There was just way too much stuff to catch up on and to handle. Thanks to my dumb judgment, I let JP use my English book, and then the next day he let me use his, so basically, we traded. I can’t find his book, but I know that it’s somewhere in my house. That means that I have to find it in order to do the whole Julius Caesar Unit. I’ve missed out on two acts already, haven’t turned in any homework on the unit, and failed all the tests…ugh.
I don’t know what to do. I need to find that book. It’s hard to find it though, I’ve been looking for a long time…Starting to think it’s somewhere at school. I’m not sure.
Oh well. What else happened? Ugh...the whole week was just a blur. One thing I do remember is my Biology teacher thinks I’m depressed.
“One of the signs of depression is sleeping and tiredness”
Yeah, I’ve been falling asleep in class for the past month or so. Mostly on B days. On A days, I fall asleep in Art Class after I do most of my art project, then I get lazy and just stop. On B days, I fall asleep in Biology, the second class of the day, still in the morning. It’s usually about 50 minutes of the class. Yet, I still understand what I’m supposed to be doing in the labs when the girls who sit around me have no fucking clue what’s going on. It’s rather funny at time, but get annoying too because I have to do everything, and tell them what to do.
Back to today-
Woke up, went to competition. It was State today. I though it was one of the best performances we’ve had, but we still came in 14th out of 18th. That’s bad in my book. But hey, at least I won’t have to deal with that Marissa lady until Fall. Yes, she is teaching us in the Fall. U.u I got out of the retreat early and went to eat with my dad and sister. I was scared because mom said that the seamstress lady almost messed up, but she didn’t. My dress is DONE, and it looks phenomenal! I look so cool…Don’t mean to toot my own horn….Just kidding. But yeah, it’s done and it looks good. *thumbs up*
Then we went out to the mall and I bought myself a new gauge. It goes up to an 8 and it’s all curly and stuff. It’s a snake though, that’s what makes it cool!!
I can’t wait till summer. I’m going somewhere, and I…just can’t wait…

PurpleThunder07: I can't wait to see you
tsumekas inferno: neither can I
tsumekas inferno: I think I am planning a surprise for you
PurpleThunder07: you think?
tsumekas inferno: that was worded wrong, sorry. I have a surprise in the making for you
PurpleThunder07: haha silly. What is it?
PurpleThunder07: haha
tsumekas inferno: if I told you that would ruin the surprise now wouldn't it?
PurpleThunder07: .......no
PurpleThunder07: *sly look*
tsumekas inferno: yes
tsumekas inferno: it's kinda a big thin I'm planning
tsumekas inferno: thing*
PurpleThunder07: .
PurpleThunder07: ..
tsumekas inferno: ...
tsumekas inferno: ....
tsumekas inferno: lol
PurpleThunder07: Haha. I can't wait
PurpleThunder07: when's it coming?
PurpleThunder07: or what
tsumekas inferno: you'll get your surprise when you get here
tsumekas inferno: i need some time to work out some details and do som tinking
tsumekas inferno: (yes I realize i left out letters)

^_^ Yey!

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   For those quiz results:
I used the different possible ages i could use. I'm almost 16 years old (18 more days), and since my birthday is on April 20 (yes, 4/20), my astrological sign can be either Aries or a Taurus, so i used both. Using those options and the two different ages (15 and 16), i posted 4 different results. I hope you enjoy, i will try to post about my day later.
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