Friday, February 4, 2005

   rip them from the concrete
Haha, well, another exciting day of crappy dance music, SSDD, match making for me, work and more work at home.
Let's start from this morning i suppose. My sister and I randomly decided to go to school early. Even though it was of my knowledge that Seth would be riding the bus and wouldn't be there like usual. I still went and hung out with Joe and that other girl who's really cool. She's pretty. Joe and I traded arm warmers. Now he has the thick striped one and i have the one with thin stripes. It's awesome, but he stretched it out. So i need to put it in the wash and shrink it so that it fits my arm's form like my other ones did. I liked the way the other ones accentuated the curves on my arm. I don't know if accentuated is a word, but if it isn't, i have a new one. ^.^ Anyway. Sami (my sister) and i went to go get some BREQFAST because she didn't want to go alone. She never wants to go anywhere alone, what a funny gal. When we came back, the whole area was full of people. The buses came in a hurry. My heart picked up speed as i realized that HE might be there. I looked for Yugi and Seth in hopes that he might be talking to them, and for help in case he is spotted...
He was spotted. Seth and Yugi kept trying to get me to talk to him, but again, i was nervous. I tried to, but i would just freeze. Yugi said that she had done something, that had to do with another thing called the Formal Dance at A-kon. Later, i learned that she got him to think about whether or not he will ask me to that dance. I kind of freaked out for a moment. Like i said before, it's been a long time since anything like this has ever happened to me. Haha, It's really weird.
Well, i went to dance class and flirted with the wall *snickers* It was dumb. We had to learna a "Sexy, flirtatous" dance.
Biology was boring. I sat around and listened to Incubus all day. I almost got caught because my CD player was too loud.
We had a sub in History. He let us talk and all that jazz. I got really hyped up becuase i was listening to Mark's Papa Roach CD and felt like starting a mild mosh pit right in the middle of my classroom. I would get everybody up and rolling in no time if he wasn't there. Then Mark gave me some coffee after lunch and i poured in the last of my milk and made Vanalla flavored milk. It was good. At lunch i had to go and type up a report. For some reason i felt like Chris was going to come walking into the library, see me, and come talk to me. So i kept looking at the door and feeling really stupid. I went to get lunch with Andrew and right as i exited the line with my tray, the Bell rang. You could see my practically swallow my pizza whole as i handed the potato wedges *snickers again* to Andrew. I wrapped up my apple and threw that along with my milk into my bookbag. I did all that while trying to catch up with Andrew going up the stairs. We were running so fast, i almost choked. But i made it in time.
GSA was pretty cool. Crystal admitted that she had a crush on me while i admitted i had a crush on her. She's so full of life and always energetic and stuff. Only hides her feelings so that everyone around her can be happy. She only breaks down when it's the right time with the right person to bring her back up. I admire her for putting up with so much shit and still remaining an awesome person. I hate to admit, but I'm not as giddy about her than i am about Chris. But still, it's pretty cool. And i know that i have a better chance with Chris too...probably. She talks about her girlfriend a lot so i think that's taken care of. I like Chris so much though, even though he really didn't say much to me.
Yugi suggested that i write a note about myself to Chris. I did. I mostly talked about A-kon and stuff. Then about Billy and Sha'. The last thing i wrote was "*ring* Well, the bell just rung. I'm off to go attempt to talk to you. See ya!" I gave it to him right before GSA. I actually was able to go up and say what's up and stuff. His smile is so cute!! Such beautiful eyes too!! My legs feel as if they melted into the ground when he actually looked at me while talking. Although, i had to rip them from the concrete before i was late for the meeting.
GOD I WAS SO STUPID!!! Why am i feeling this way again? I thought i was over these stupid giddy emotions....damn. I need help. I really want to go to the dance with him....But what about that Sady Hawkins dance....Shit.
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Sunday, January 30, 2005

   Shit
Dang, it's 1 45 in the morning over here. I'm afraid to go into my room cuz i just saw the previews for the movie called THE GRUDGE again. I've already seen the actual movie, then slept with the lights on for a good 4 days. Seeing teh previews with teh scariest parts in it just made me want to curl up and shiver. My body went completely numb and a climbed down my spine when her eyes appeared on the security tv. The little boy was there too. With his big cat mouth and everything. then i saw her go down the stair and i'm afraid to walk past the stairs at my house to get to my room. I think i'll just hang out on the futon in the game room until the light comes outside, then i'll try to go to my room before dad wakes up (he's an early bird). Plus i think of the fact that my friends will make that sound in my ear when i'm zoned out and i totally freak out.
Geez...I have to wake up at 10 or so to go to church in the morning however. Most likely, i'll get about 5 or maybe even just 4 hours of sleep. Then i have to do homework. And wake up around 6 for school on monday....eep

T_T Maki
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Saturday, January 29, 2005

   OHH GEEZ!!
*says with a lisp* Oh geez you guys i'm so excited!! I jus tgot back form a job interview at Six Flags and i get to work in the food services department. That means i get to stand on my feet all day and serve people and watch them eat!! YEY!! Since i'm only 15,i only get 5.50 an hour. It's ok. Last year i had the same thing. But at least i can get raises at this job. *thinks of raisons after she types the word raises*
Aren't I wierd? I actually press the space bar three times as in indent for my paragraphs. Woohoo. I'm so happy. Also, i'm leaving in about an hour to go to ANOTHER interview at that school i'm applying for. Robert E. Lee. It's NESA, the NorthEast School of the Arts. Remember? For those of you who might have read the entries where i might have mentioned it. I've added two more of my drawings. I put one yaoi freehand drawing in there...just to show them my acceptance and tolerance for people, and my individuality. It's going to be cool. I can't wait and i hope i get in. OH!! That remeinds me. I felt so loved when Andrew came with me to get food for everyone. We were talking about the kids at school and how we hate a lot of them. I said that i will be happy when i get out of here and hopefully go to NESA. He said, "What? You are leaving me? NO, i'm going to miss you"
I replied, "OH!...wow we've only been talking for 3 days and you are going to miss me already?? Don't worry i'm going to miss you too" It was so cute though. I love Freshman.
Brittany's party was a blast last night. I had so much fun and me and Seth eventually got really hyper. When teh cake was served, i squished my cake into her face and got it all over her nose. She did the same with me. It looked like i had a milk mustache!! The frosting was white. It was good though!! We walked around like that for a few minutes before wiping it off. But it was fun. Then we went outside because it was cool, and we were heated up from the DDR. They locked us out for a bit while we pretended to be moths and flies. Thumping around the windows and stuff. That just gave us more reason to go aroundthe windows of the lower floor and try to scare more people. It was awesome. They finally let us back in and we watched Nightmare On Elm Street. It was an ok movie. People kept talking and stuff so that pissed me off. I was a bit cold, but i felt better when Seth invited me to sit next to her on the couch. Some of the girls were filling up unused balloons with ice and water and then popping them with matches. It was so annoying. they shouldn't be doing that, especially at another person's house. They cleaned up teh mess though. It pissed me off either way. *thinks* Que mas? OH!! After eating "teh cah-kae", I laughed my butt off so hard i fell to the ground almost crying. I almost peed my pants too!! Seth was doing pep girl imitations and all this crazy stupid stuff. I couldn't breathe and had to run to the bathroom and read the poopie list. Trinity and Danielle were standing over just completly cracking up over teh fact that i looked like i was going to have angurism or some thing. It was exhilerating. I got up finally, but couldn't drink any of my water for fear of Seth suddenly doing something to make me spit it all out over everyone. DDR was cool. At one time, about 7 of us girls that were there were all shadowing either Me, Seth, or Danielle the Kittie. Even though they said they weren't very experianced, they did good and it was awesome. They were all really nice. Tony's girlfriend Cherilyn was there too. I didnt' know she used to live in Germany like me. We actually went to the same school at the same time, we just didn't know eachother. One girl was really hot, but then i found out she smoked so that just totally trashed it. Smoking ish gross.
I can't wait for A-con to get here. Now the I have a job, i can finally start to really save up to go. I'm still unsure of who i want to be. I was thinking i could be Kikyo, and get to meet a lot of hot InuYashas or something!! ^.^ I certainly have th hair for it. At least i think so. If anyone has any suggestions, Please let me know. Trinity is going to (can't spell->) Kamakaze-con, and i'm wondering if that one's any good. Or if i should go. She says it's going to be cool.
SETH!! YOU NEED TO TEACH ME MORE JAPANESE! Can i borrow that list? I'll give you back the book on Monday.
That's it for now, i might come back later tonight. I have to go get ready for my interview at that school. Wish me luck!
Ja!

=^.^= Maki
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Thursday, January 27, 2005

   To tell the truth, I love her. My love is unrequited
I've noticed that i get visitors...but not many comments...am i really that boring?

Anyway...I was suprised i was able to get online tonight. I thought i was grunded from that familistic (new word) clash i had a couple days ago. I swear, i was standing for a good hour and a half to two hours. I could feel myself getting dizzy from the heat of the upstairs. My body was swaying back and forth slowly. My knees were locked. This pain in my head was throbbing and i thought about "Novacaine". The only thing i could do was bend down and sit on my heels. After that didn't work for 5 minutes, i sat down on my butt, praying that she would stop talking soon. I nodded when i felt it was necessary. My eyes were about to explode. Like that little twinge of anguish was something solid, and was bound to pop both of my eyes out through my sockets.
Suddenly, they are all gone and i hear someone messign with some objects inside my mom's bathroom. The light was turned on and i couldn't even open my eyelids to meet the ceiling.
_____ said Honto wa aishite runo. Kata-omoi nano. To me. If any of you know what that means...you know it's kinda serious. I know what it means... but i feel like I can't really trust anyone quite yet...with certain things. Especially with what i've been called and the way i've been treated since i moved to Texas. It made me feel...unwanted. Which is ironic because over here, i seem to be more...attractive...to some of the guys more than what i was in Colorado. I don't know why, and I'm not trying to sound conceited...but i've had more "chances" here....i've noticed. I just never wanted to take any of them. It feels wrong to me. I've had one Real boyfriend since i got here...and that was in the way beginning, when i didn't know any better yet.
I guess it's that horrid person's fault. The one that left me when all i had to offer was love and i felt angsty all the time with him on the phone. Oh well.
_____ IS really sweet...but i have a trust issue with everyone...some of you may think you know a lot about me...but i hold back. That doesn't mean i don't like you guys though. You all are the ones that help me the most, let me just tell you that. the stuff i do tell you, it helps me to get that out. I can't keep everything held up inside forever...*thinks of a funny analogy* LIKE EMAIL!!! It only has so much space...you have to let some of the "memories/feelings/ emails" go.
Did i tell you that i was bitten yesterday and today?? I think it was those days... but on TEH SAME SHOULDER!! They are looking for a battle they are....
Seth and I are doing some sort of musical theatre dance...We are going ot fight eachother over a Kakashi plushie ^.^ He's my lover apparantly. And he played in my sandbox.

=^.^= Maki

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Sunday, January 23, 2005

What Ninja Class Are You?
Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.

Um...W00T!


What .hack//SIGN Character Are You?
Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.

*glee*
Some of these quizzes might not word for LiveJournal. These certain ones are for MyOtaku only.
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   The Last Emotion

I got to go spend the night at my cousins house... It was acutlly cooler cuz Sami wasn't there to butt into our conversations. It was mean, but it's true.
Sometimes, we have things to talk about between OURSELVES, and don't really need her to know. But It's ok. We fell asleep on Crys' futon. Futons rock my boxxers hardcore. I actually fell asleep sooner than she did, or so i'm told. She just informed me that she heard me snoreing *she's standing right next to me at my house and reading my journal entry as i type it out* We woke up around 7 and ate some doh!-nuts...yum and fatty. Then my aunt and uncle, the crazy ones went and got us that awesomely divine Taco Cabana. Some lady that turned out to be my aunt came over too. And i have some new cousins...he's really smart...he wants to be president and stuff. I'm proud of him and i don't even know him ^.^
Church was cool and stuff. I got to spend time wiht my madrina and she got emotional...I almost cried myself. Confirmation class at St. Anthony's is so much more fun than the other one on base at Lackland. I found this one thing in the bible, reminded me of me a lot...I don't have one with me right now. But when i find mine, i'll copy it down and see what you say. Just don't get offended or anything, it's my journal and stuff. You don't have to read it if you want. I'm Catholic, so i think it will be fine...but just in case, there ya go.
Seth went to Ushi-con...without me. It's ok. I didn't really know about it until too late. I wouldn't have been able to get the money to go. But NEXT TIME...NEXT TIME I SWEAR!!! Seth is just mentioning A-kon as i type actually...I'll have to look up more info on it later. I want to dress up too...but i don't know who to feign. Somebody help me!!! I usually watch DOThack//Sign, play DOThack//Infection, Cowboy Bebop, Trigun, Full Metal Alchemist, Inu Yasha, Case Closed...some more. But i need ideas now, it's coming up on June 3rd i think. I need to make and outfit and stuff.

Where have all my feelings gone?
You seem to have taken most of them away when you took my heart that first day
The rest of the time i spend my life with
Makes me want to close my eyes
My senses are numb as you grew farther and farther away.
I closed my eyes, and visions of you finally spilt a tear onto my shirt
Wiped off with my hand, the salty wetness dripped down my wrist, and stung the red scab on my arm
Licking it like the wolf i am, the bitterness was sweet, and the scent of blood filled my nostrils
I whimpered and curled in a corner behind my tail.
Another hand, presented itself in front of me, open palm and friendly
So gentle, its touch was so gentle
Joy filled my heart once again.
and i fell in love with you
With a few bumps in the road here and there, the level of our friendship will grow stronger
But for now, thank you
I feel everything again.
Stay with me forever, or as long as you can
I love you, and that's the last emotion i needed to fill myself with to be sure i'm ok.

This song/poem could be about so many people i've met this year. There is only one that this could relate DIRECTLY to however. This is the first complete peice of writing that i haven't done on command for a long time...i hope it's ok
That's it for today i guess....now that the comp is upstairs, i might have a better chance of sneaking online at night. OH!! But wait, that means they can hear the typing...Damn! ok well, I'll talk to you silly gooses later. I'm tired.
Oyasumi nasai! *waves and runs off*
=^.^= Maki

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Saturday, January 22, 2005

   My Dear, I cannot stand to see you gone...

Moments before i picked up the phone to call him, i pulled out the Nightwish CD that i borrowed from Seth and placed it in my CD player. It would help me relax as my hands were already shaking, and still are.
The phone rang twice or three times before i heard his familiar "hello". My heart skipped a beat as i answered back. The conversation was short, tense, and awkward. I think everything will be ok. Even though something did seemt to be missing....it might be small, but i couldn't quite put my finger on it...I don't know. I guess it was the fact that is was only a few minutes that i was talking to you, so it was unusual. But I'm glad I did have the courage to call you back, instead of leaving alone, hoping that it will clear up on it's own.
My dear, i cannot stand to lose you. My cheeks burned with my acid tears as they also stained the pillows my head layed upon late at night. Those three words can make or bread a heart into a million pieces. They seem to fall to the ground. I've been thinking about it all day, and can't wait to hear you again. I hope that i can get in contact with you tonight. I Love You.
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Friday, January 21, 2005

   My day and a dime
Mood: You wasted Life....
Music: Ocean Breathes Salty by Modest Mouse





Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You? quiz.

W0oT! I got it!! Now, my Journal is Me....
At first i thought i would be rushing to post this entry, but i guess not. I thought i was going to see the movie "Are We There Yet?" with my cousin, but he said it was a premiere and i would have to come early and stuff. Bleh.
Today was the best "A" day of the week. Except for the fact that i didn't turn in my Telecuaderno for la clase de espanol. Oops. i hope i'll at least have a B in that class. Progress reports are coming out on Monday and i really want to go to Brittany's party and pretend to cast spells on People. *Wiggles fingers*boogie woogie woogie*
I was the first one done with all my work in BCIS, and my grade is an 83 or something. W0ot! Then that psychic freshmen kid, i think his name was Jared or something with a "J" came in and asked about Sudiata and Sha'. He told me that they told him that i make them ride on top of the bus. I don't MAKE them ride up there. Sundiata likes the wind and Sha'atan likes to fly and race the bus home. Then later on Sami told me that she was the one who told him that they ride on top of the bus...It scared me for a bit that he knew it at first. I started freaking out as soon as i got out of the classroom. That kid is coolishnessly awesome, but they way he stares at you and stuff, and how he almost never smiles and keeps the same face during conversation...It's creepy sometimes. But that's cool.
I sat with Seth, Yugi, Tim, the whole pack yesterday. Andrew told me he loved me and that made my day. I gave him some food and the crust of my pizza. I always wind up feeding everybody, but i don't mind. I like to take care of them, if that's how you put it. I love them all. Even though i still can't remember some of their names. Tim gave me his AIM address thingie, but i can't find it, i could have sworn he wrote it down on my sketch book, but i cannot find the little name anywhere!! I promised him i would IM him too. So now i feel really bad. He's teh coolest also. I saw this kid who looked almost exactly like Andrew get onto the bus that parks right behind my bus. He looked like Andrew, but older. He has a brother then? Who knows? I think so...
I talked to Kenny Last night, for a little bit while i was stretching. It was fun. My legs are totally sore though, so are my arms. Seth showed me a thing to strengthen my upper body muss-culs (muscles). I did them at home and now my deltoids are a bit sore and started burning sooner than usual while practicing Flags. Kenny! You kept messing me up though!! Grr. He would make me laugh and i would fall. Then i'd get up and do it again. I had fun talking to him anyway, it's always awesome to talk to him. He needs to get his butt over here quick so we can hang out and all that jazz. I still need to send him pictures and stuff. Will do that after i copy paste this entry to my other journals.
Last words: Fishsticks are gross, JP is still uber confusing, Jonathon is just...GRRR *chokes him* , I want to talk to Kenny, Need that AIM address if anyone from here has it, I wonder if mom will let me go onto Gaia again. She now knows that I'm in the GSA at school (note to self: help make fliers!)and...That's it.
Ja!
=^.^= Maki

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Thursday, January 20, 2005

   SameShitDifferentDay


Well, It was normal at dance i guess, except for the fact that We were learning a new routine and there was this one part where we had to do this totally spazztic jump. At first, we're supposed to look like were dead, and just jump very limplike and stuff, then from that pose, do an "angel jump", much like Stewart from Mad TV does. Seth totally screamed out "LOOK WHAT I CAN DO" and the prep girls looked at us funny as we imitated him. It was cool though. I kept accidently hitting one of them while doing a spin, and Seth sprayed some "prep repellent" on me. Then she sniffled and sneezed. =3 So cute! *wipes nose*
I wanted to go to the anime convention this weekend, but i have no money or way to get there. If i ever go, i want to definately get dressed up in costume. I just don't know what. Which character suits me best? Is there a quiz out there that tells which anime character you best relate to? Maybe i'll go to the one that's coming this summer in Dallas. I'll have a job and a car by then.
I got called in for an interview at NESA for next weekend. For those of you who don't know, NESA is the North East School of the Arts, and i've applied there to study Visual arts and Creative Writing. I will also be taking normal academics like a regular high school student, but not. Anyway. I was so happy to hear that they want me in an interview. I would have to do an on-site writing prompt :X So nervous, but excited. Wish me luck!
The rest of theday was pretty boring. No wait, i lied. Lunch was pretty cool. I helped feed my pack and felt so old there. I got Tim's AIM thingie and Andrew told me he loved me. I love Freshmen so much! Seth and Reza (Seth, is that his name?) Shared their chairs with me. So each of us had half a butt cheek in each of the two chairs. It was fun. I got to drink the rest of someone from our group's strawberry milk, which is always a treat. I just realized, we all share food a lot. We should all go get checked for Mono or something...Well, nothing has happened yet, so i think we're all good. Hmm... It' s about 10 30 over here, and i'm pooped. So i'll post more in the morning or after school tomorrow. I love you all! Whom (who?) ever reads this...
Ja!
=^.^= Gaki Maki
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Why do you cry?
brought to you by Quizilla


Grrr! I went back to Seth's Site and looked for the quiz on School Stereotypes. I don't think this site is MY SITE without those quiz results. I took it again but i kept getting Outsider instead of Goth. I truly liked the picture for the Goth response. It was cool. I thought i put in the same answers as before...But i guess not. Oh well. I will see you guys later. See you tomorrow Seth
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