Friday, May 18, 2007

So hunt me down

For the second time today I want to completely demolish an item beyond recognition. Maybe this keyboard here...The adrenaline running through my veins is overpowering, and the fumes are building up inside my head. Once again, I lost another friend.. I wish I could just grab the keyboard and smash its keys into so many pieces against a surface...preferably a certain someone’s face.

My jaws ache from clenching my teeth, trying to withhold my anger in the school. What I want to do is punch a hole into the computer screen. I don’t care if sparks fly and burn me. I don’t care how much I’m going to pay. I’m not going to. I just want destruction.
My muscles crave this at the very moment. They itch to be awakened and violent in the means of getting you to understand just how PISSED OFF I really am. It’s getting really hard to continue this hold lately. And I wind up gripping my hair behind my head and pulling it to release some tension. I only wish it was yours. Then, I wouldn’t limit myself like I do now. There's so much more I wish I could do. There's no time, nor words that can describe what I'm wanting to do today.

Surprised? Don’t be. This is what happens when I get angry. But none of you know what is really going on onside my head. Why do you think I haven't been a part of any "drama" this year? I love my mask. I've gotten quite good at it? Don't you think?

I want to knock the shit out of you, boy. I want to make sure that messed up beyond recognition...So that you’re crawling on the ground, begging for mercy in a pool of your own blood. I want to see it falling, dripping from your mouth. Gashes and slashes score over your entire body from the danger I am to you. Like that? Here’s some more.

Thank you for screwing up my day. My wonderful Friday. Thank you for being such a pain in the ass. I’ve put up with you so much, and I don’t believe that you could ever do this to me. You’re such an asshole. I’ve tried my best to be patient with you. Because every single time you wanted me to say something, my lungs were aching to scream out at you. To scream and let loose under my throat became hoarse...Until the needles pierced in every direction inside of me when I breathe. My lips are sore from stretching and retching. And my cheeks burn from my acidy tears.
I will remove those needles myself, and stab them 3 inches through your eyelids, then turn your head towards the sun. My chest would be pounding, my face would be hot. Sweat drips down my face as I clench my teeth and leer into your eyes. Those eyes that don’t even deserve to set it sights on me, you little prick.

Stay away from me and don’t ever let this happen. This pain and torture, there’s so much more I could do. But it all remains in the imagination of the sweet, always friendly girl that you all know dearly as

Maki Wolfess

Billie: Aw....Crap

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