Tuesday, January 8, 2008

What does it mean if I feel disconnected when I look away from my laptop? I know that "adults" or, the older generation say that our generation is all about technology and all that good stuff...and some kids are WAY into their gadgets and stuff...

With me, I'd say, yes, I'm into my gadgets and stuff. Although, the only piece of technology that I'm most "connected" with is my laptop, and my iPod Shuffle. Of course, I use a toaster oven, a microwave, a tv every once in a while, the remote, yeah yeah yeah whatever. Don't you people start commenting me or writing me, telling me the exact pieces of tech machinery I use throughout the day, whether it be minor or major. I know I know...I'm talking about what I'm typing on right now, and what I'm listening to when I walk to and from classes....the two that I'm most "close" to.

Anyway...When I'm on my laptop, I'm usually on the internet, or editting some artwork with Photoshop, whilst listening to Windows Media Player on random, typing a journal entry, checking Gaiaonline.com, playing World of Warcraft, chatting on IM, and sometimes, all of it at the same time! Either way, I depend on the Internet a lot. I've met so many wonderful people and have made many fabulous and loving friends through the internet, and I spend a lot of time with them. Not because it's addicting, but because I genuinely love them all. And just like any other friend, I miss them, and the internet is the only way to "see" them.

Of course, I do get out of the house and excercise, go to school, talk to "IRL" friends and such...yes, I have a life, ok?

But that's beside the point. The point is, I make a lot of connections through my laptop, through the internet. I relate to so many things out there, and that's the beauty of the internet. You can do a lot of things with it. I especially love the fact that I can release anything I want into it, anything in my head...and I know that SOMEONE out there will or can relate to me, whether they let it be known or not. When I'm online, when I'm editting a blog, playing World of Warcraft, gathering gold on Gaia, Roleplaying, all of that other jazz, I really do feel connected to everyone out there. Even if they are enemies of mine (I don't have many) and we've taken a silent vow towards each other, never to see or speak of each other ever again, it's like there's a tunnel out there somewhere that makes it so much more possible for all that to be eliminated. Most of the time, it's whether we like it or not. So ha.

But when I finish with doing whatever it is I would be doing, I close out the window, log off, disconnect, and stare at my deskstop, I feel like another part of the world was just closed off, like I entered and exitted (sp?) whole 'nother realm of my reality. This feeling crawls over me, and I have to sit there for a moment and gather my thoughts and re-introduce myself into the world that greets me as a human person, capable of physical interaction, speech and movement. Even I am just looking away from my laptop, just at the ceiling or resting my eyes for a moment from staring at a brightly glowing monitor in the middle of a dark room....I feel like I was just ripped from a possession.

I do get close to my online personality. I think it is a lot different than it is "irl". Only a few online friends are able to see me as a different person different than an average internet goer.

No lolz, roflcopters, zomgs, profile pics, warhaxz, 1337 monsters, NM's, Undo buttons, ESC and ALT F4's can measure up to the person I am...in real life.

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