This little essay thing, I'm doing for class. I wrote in about 2 days, with some revising and editing. I'm still supposed to edit it some more later this week. I don't know what else to do. This one probably sucks. Most of this is real life, as in, most of it really happened, and a little bit didn't. Erm...Enjoy...*skitters off to talk to Pocky*
"After all that you said you’d do for me, you go and take THEIR side?" I screamed at my sister, pointing to both of my parents. The tears streamed down my burning cheeks like rivers, and my breathing was getting harder to catch as I tried to gain more oxygen. Whenever I cry, my face burns up as if my tears were made of pure acid, which made my eyes water up even more.
" I just don’t understand how you feel these things Amanda. Why would you go against us and do this?" My sister, Sami questioned me with fiery eyes.
“You told me that you would stay behind me and support me no matter what my preference. Why are you against me now?” Looking at my sister, her face all crumpled up and crooked with a mixture of emotions, all of which included fear, anger, doubt, confusion and sadness, I felt like we were in a battle for the highest point of my parents’ affection, her weapon of choice was a backstabbing dagger that punctured a million holes into me, draining to leave me helpless and empty.
At first, this argument included my whole family, now it was a war between my sister and I. It used to be the object of mom and dad’s approval as the prize, but for me, it was finding out the reason why I was hated. I just wanted answers.
By this time, I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. All oxygen had left and I was struggling to retain any that I still had. My breathing became sharp and shallow, not withholding anything I was taking into my lungs. The bad thing was that my whole family thought I was faking it “to get attention”. As if I wanted to make anything else my fault. Nobody was helping and abandonment overcame me more than it has before.
Feeling dizzy, my mind started to drift. I remembered when Sami met my good friend Cristen. How in fact she did walk up to me and ask who she was. I’m sure she noticed that we were holding hands, my grip tightened as she got closer, and my palms started to sweat. When she approached us, with a high chin, straight back, a smile and said, “Hi, I’m Sami, Amanda’s sister. You must be Cristen. I’ve heard many good things about you. It’s nice to meet you” My body almost collapsed from relief when I heard those words. Cristen and I were both surprised at her reaction. She hesitantly stuck out her hand and shook my sister’s, finally smiling after letting go.
Now in the living room, feeling hurt, still dizzy, like I had just been stomped into the dirt, my sister yelled at me and I just took it. I thought I could trust her with my “dirty little secret”. That’s what I like to call it, because, that’s how I felt. I felt dirty and angry. I mistrusted Sami, thinking that my own flesh and blood could helpo me. I was disappointed because she went behind my back and put me to shame when I thought she was the only one holding me up high on the pedestial. But I guess I had to be more careful about who I really put faith into. Soon enough, I was able to talk again…I couldn’t say anything. My eyes were filled with fury and angst as a single tear drop fell to the floor for the final time. The door of my room slammed shut as I fell asleep with leftover aggression that I wouldn’t let anyone else see, pouring onto my pillow case and into my dreams.
Ani-chan: It took a long time for Maki to type this out...To write it out nonetheless. Really, most of this is true. I believe only a small portion of it was exaggerated. Is this supposed to be somewhat of a rant, Maki-san?
No not really...I just didn't have much to say. Being away from my friends has chunked out a lot of interesting stuff that could be put in here. It's just something I've been thinking about. I guess it's a neutral post. I'm not happy or sad. I'm only making Valentines for 7 or 8 people. They are original. I'm drawing them out tonight.
Ani-chan: Oh....Where's that icon then? *looks around*
*sigh...Pops up an icon and clicks Add Post*
I think I've used this one before: 
Oh well
One of my essays I'm turning in...