Sunday, July 10, 2005

   She isn't REAL. I can't Make HER REAL...


TODAY.. been at my moms house all day. bored as hell. I watched I ROBOT and the Pacifier.. I'm getting TIRED of summer. I wish school was near..


----------------------------------
she looks into your eyes
a reminder of your helpless lies
only i know the truth
you look away
ashamed to admit
all this was your doing
and nobody knows it but me
at least some believe.



Comments (2) | Permalink

Thursday, July 7, 2005

All.
All the things in life.
All the pain, and...
All the strife, and..
All the tears throughout--
All the lonely years.
All the times you've screamed.
All the times you've needed love.
All the times there was nobody there.
All the times you were scared.
All the people who asked why.
All the feelings, your dying inside.
All the misfortune and the pain.
All the people that you blame.
All the hate and all the shame.
All the moments that you've lost.
All the pain that you've caused.
All the times you felt anew.
All the times they looked for you.
All the way up to heavens gates.
All the way up to god, that fraud.
All the things you threw in his face.
All these things filled him with disgrace.

All of this, wasn't enough, was it?
Comments (1) | Permalink

Druscilla Penny by THE CARPENTERS
Druscilla penny, what a name!

Are you sure you didn’t make it up yourself?

You’re very pretty, yes you are

But with all the junk you wear, it’s hard to tell


Man, you must work hard to get your hair to look like that

I don’t need a horoscope to tell me where you’re at

Your family’s probably given up on you

Since you began to follow groups of long-haired rock’n rollers

I can hear your mother crying for her daughter


Ah, ah, ah ....

Ah, ah, ah ....


Druscilla penny, what a girl!

Where’s the purpose to the crazy life you lead?

It doens’t matter after all

You’re so sure instant love is all you need


I’ve seen your face at least a thousand times

You’re always standing there behind the stages at the concerts

Waiting for an offer to be with someone after


Druscilla penny, how’s your head?

Do you ever wake up lonely in the night?

It isn’t easy for a girl when she can’t decide

If love is wrong or right

I hope I live to see a change

Could you ever really love?

Ever really care?

Ever really get it together? no no

--------------------------------------------
this song reminds me of well, me..
Comments (1) | Permalink

"blades and tears"
you stare into my eyes,
unknowingly.
though my smile is fake,
and my laugh is forged,
you believe me.
you look down at my ankle,
question what you see.
my quick clever response pleases you,
no longer questioning what is in front of you.
but you dont know whats there,
soon to be scars,
awaiting their healing.
revealing what you will never see,
my insanity.
and i dont want to hurt you when i try to hurt me,
so i cover my wounds so that you cannot see.
and though you believe my quick little lie,
the way you question me makes me want to cry.

Comments (3) | Permalink

Tuesday, July 5, 2005

A Story
Once there was this girl named Jessica who was raped and molested. She felt bad for herself and wallowed in her own sorrows every chance she could. She cut herself when no one was around, and cried herself to sleep.. She lost her one love, and became desperate to find someone new to love. After a long time she met some new friends, new guys, ect. ect. ect.. She rushed into silly relationships and then realized afterwords that she wasn't happy. Finally she realized that there are worst problems then her own, and that acting like a victim is just fucked up. Even though she realized this, she couldn't garentee that she wouldn't act like a victim and mope.. therefore, our story ends where it began, with a crazy sobbing self centered girl.
Comments (2) | Permalink

Monday, July 4, 2005

my greatest fear you'll look into my eyes and realize: theres nothing there.
Comments (1) | Permalink

Hate and Heartache
you do not know me
you haven't a clue
six years since our last meeting
so many tears fleeing

you think i'm so wonderful
so pure, so pretty
you have no idea
i'm fucked up and "witty"

im inpure
im insane

i hate myself
and i blame myself

for my past
and the and the present

and i want to feel pain
and i feel so ashamed

I AM NOTHING I SHOULD BE
-------------------------------------------

"a troubled.."

why do you hurt me like this
your words
so delibrate

why do you do this
you slice
so deep

why do you do this to you
as i do this to me
we shall see...

we shall see..
what i do to you,
you do to me..


Comments (3) | Permalink