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Sunday, October 7, 2007


hospital
sigh... today just went to normal to pretty crappy and suckish. my mom had to go to the hospital today and dad drove her there, so im all alone at home. currently it's 11:50 am and im kinda worried. i think she should be fine but she had to go to the emergency room. for the record she has kidney stone pains and i thought that had stopped happening years ago. im trying to take my mind off things, but im not really motivated and i can get sort of paranoid about these things. like a while back when mom didn't come back when she said she would and i spent hours worrying something had happened to her like a car accident or something. or like that time when she came sooo close to being caught on the bridge when it collapsed. this is kinda depressing, but by some luck we have never been hurt enough to call it "life-threatening" bad stuff almost does happen and it makes me increasingly more paranoid something will happen and i don't think i have told anyone but my mind always conjures up such realistic images of things that could go wrong and it drives me mad, but i can't stop thinking like that. we've had to learn stuff the hard way about things. my dad nearly got his eye taken out by exploding glass for one thing and if he had been so much as a centimeter back he probably would have. and there was the time waaaay before i was born when they ran into a tree while driving cuz they actually fell asleep cuz the road was soo long and straight and no cars in sight(middle of nowhere). nowadays, even if one member of my family goes out for so much as a quick 5 minute trip to the gas station, i get worried. i hate it when that happens cuz terrible visions of some horrible accident crop up in my mind... im definitely gonna lose it if i can't just try and relax for once. i need a hug.

*doop*

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