Wednesday, May 7, 2008

   angst

i am really irritated, no wait, pissed off at life right now. first of all, i hate May right now because of all the freakin' homework assignments im getting. it all started with my procrastination last weekend. on sunday, i literally did not get ONE MINUTE of sleep. i stayed up till 6:40 am working on a goddamn english assignment, and then i attempted to get in a few minutes of sleep but of course it didn't work. i take forever to fall asleep regardless of the situation. i was a brain dead zombie for all of monday and then we had so much homework on monday that i stayed up till past 1:00 am. i have been staying up so late this week and i think im starting to lose it. and i fucking hate that goddamn computer tech class!! for the love of god! the reason i stayed up so late on sunday was because i was trying to finish a computer tech class assignment and i had it emailed to myself so i could work on it at home. i finished it on my brother's laptop and saved it to what i THOUGHT was the my documents file but somehow it ended up in a different one and the first powerpoint email i sent myself wouldn't open and i spent hours looking for that fucking powerpoint and then when we tried to connect the printer to my brother's laptop, it refused to work and then the computer froze and i felt like screaming at that point. next time i absolutely refuse to do ANYTHING FOR THAT FUCKING CLASS ANY MORE. i don't give jack shit if it is days late and i fail that class. i am not going to waste my time working on a damn powerpoint that will not help me in life ever. i feel like telling the stupid teacher that i DON'T CARE about that class. why the hell would anyone want to take that class if they had a choice??? if not for the damn one credit requirement, there's no way in hell i would go to that classroom. i would seriously rather shoot myself in the foot than go there. all my so called friends aren't being very helpful either. i swear animelover12344 is just trying to piss me off on purpose. she was acting rather mean towards me in anime club yesterday. normally the ones who make fun of me are Jilly and the other seniors who i know cuz im a freshman and my aura is just begging to have it made fun of. i hate it when she keeps on saying "omg, creepy frog show!" every time i try to suggest we watch keroro gunso. for the love of god hannah stop saying that! please just keep your damn opinions to yourself! it is a perfectly good anime! i know what "creepy" is, you have no idea what Gantz and MPD Psycho is like. at anime club we hardly had any anime so it was inevitable that we would watch something online, and i tried to suggest we watch Gintama and hannah rudely cuts me off saying "no creepy frog show!!" omg, it's bad enough that everyone is making fun of me and doesn't listen to what i have to say, but now hannah's joining them? she can keep those opinions to herself, but she always bitches about it anytime i vote for it. im starting to feel extremely isolated from everyone, even when im with homsar88. during school i feel delirious and lightheaded from lack of sleep and i feel like im kinda detached from myself when im doing my homework these past few nights because im barely aware of what im doing anymore. i also had an extremely panicky day in science yesterday. we were in the labs yesterday and working with dangerous chemicals like sulfuric acid and sodium hydroxide(or something like that). our teacher warned us not go splashing liquid all over the place and leave "mystery puddles" on the table because a person might not realize that a puddle they are trying to clean up isn't water, it's sulfuric acid or something and then severe burns follow it. i got the bad luck of being partnered with jordan, the biggest idiotic loser dropout guy who keeps tapping his feet against my goddamn desk and it's pissing me off. he's the kind of guy who never listens to the teacher, so throughout the entire class period i was afraid he was gonna splash a ton of sulfuric acid in my face or something. and he left HUGE stains of liquid everywhere on the table. i saw him splashing it about so i knew it really was just water, but being the lazy fatass that he is, he left me to clean up his freaking mess and shit. my overall mood is short-tempered and exhausted, so if i ever act like a bitch towards any of you at school, i apologize in advance. i feel like blowing up at something and screaming. im getting that feral werewolf feeling inside me again. i mentioned this in a previous post but i really long to transform especially now. and my mood is the reason why i couldn't stand this theme anymore. as you can see it is Itachi vs Sasuke themed. a reason i changed the theme is because for one i was kinda getting sick of hearing Gackt over and over(cuz i listen to my playlist while i work on homework) and i wanted to do this theme for a while now. don't get me wrong, Gackt is awesome, but i need a change. it is a depressing theme which rather reflects my mood right now. im slightly annoyed that i can get rid of that subscript underneath my new avatar because it's seriously bugging the hell out of me, so even though it won't do much to make me feel any better, just don't even bother looking at it. i feel like it totally ruins the theme. Adam posted to tell us what were the top 3 things we wanted to have back on myotaku, and it really doesn't seem like he's listening to our requests. i know he must be pretty busy, but i just want the edit picture thing back and i will be happy. i was planning to wait on changing my theme until he put the edit picture link back up, but i lost my patience. now you might think i picked a pretty weird song for and itachi vs. sasuke theme. but if you think about it, doesn't it make sense? if you keep current with the manga chapters it would make sense. i think the whole "light" thing is perfect to it. you know itachi's most famous line at the moment is probably(for me anyway), "you sasuke! you will be my new light!!" and itachi has a scary expression of insanity on his face as he shouts it at sasuke. he's of course referring to plucking sasuke's eyes out of his head so that itachi won't go blind. it would have served sasuke right... but i can't wait for the next chapter to come out cuz now im about to learn the story about itachi's background and the real reason he left the village. it's kinda weird cuz first itachi is made out to be a kind affectionate brother, then he becomes a psychopathic, murderous committer of parricide who likes to psychologically mess with his little brother's head(he totally deserves it) while appearing to be sane and calm-with-no-facial-expression kind of guy on the surface. then he becomes totally deranged and crazy with an actual facial expression for once and shouting at sasuke, and now itachi might actually have been an affectionate and caring brother right from the start because he wanted to protect sasuke from tobi aka uchiha madara aka your mom!(jk) sorry that was a horrible joke but it slipped out. it reminds me of how Jilly and everyone in anime club was making a ton of your mom comments while we watched Howl's Moving Castle the other week. it was hilarious. XD anyways, random questions for you guys today: 1. rank the akatsuki from most sexy to not sexy 2. how long do you think it takes for itachi and deidara to get dressed in the morning? keep in mind their long flowing hair and all the girly products they need to look beautiful and all that shampoo and special hairbrushing it requires. and painting their nails too. 3. do you think hidanXkakuzu is sexy? at first i thought ew, but it's actually really sexy now that i think about it. 4. how often do you think hidan gets laid?(wtf) 5. which akatsuki is the most sweet, innocent, molest-able looking one that you want to huggle? for me it is totally sasori! just look at his soft fluffy hair and his long lashes and beautiful eyes! and especially as a kid he's just begging to get a hug! 6. which akatsuki wouldn't you want to hug? for me it's either zetsu or kakuzu or pein. *doop*

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