Tuesday, December 12, 2006

/ho

Yay for a new song, a new feel. It's amazing how my goal on this page hasn't change in about three years. I would say it's actually been the goal for about four. Hasn't changed a bit. Thus the song.

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Sunday, November 5, 2006

Jackknife to a Swan

Man, I've forgotten how much I love The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. Which is funny, because the first person I ever met online was a big Bosstones fan too. Her screenname used to be like mmbluv2029 or something like that. If that's actually it I'd be shocked. woot

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Wednesday, November 1, 2006

Love is...

an uncureable disease.

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Thursday, August 10, 2006

Does this make sense?

Shoot for the moon, and you'll reach the stars. It sounded good in my head, and I think I'm going to stick by it.

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Sunday, July 30, 2006

Moment of Wisdom

This occured to me earlier today (I almost said later today ... that would be sweet to be able to know what I was going to think). I was thinking about this coworker of mine who has a 'significant other' who is, understatingly, the scum of the earth. Why I still greet him in a friendly manner? I have no idea. However, she continues to say that "But I love him" blah blah blah blah. But both she and everyone who knows about her situation knows that really, the relationship is no good for her, at all. But I'm digressing a bit, all I meant to say was this: Don't go through life looking for someone you love, look for someone who loves you back.

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Saturday, July 29, 2006

The Love of Money

Random Thought of the Moment: Actually, it's not the random. I've had this opinion for years now. I hate money. I hate it so much, I want a ton of it so that I never have to think about it. Ever. It's the number one stupidest thing in the world. The End.

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Monday, July 10, 2006

Ventilation

Oi ... so I have a car now and stuff, and that's all fine and dandy (aside from having to drop a new battery in it, and probably replace the tires pretty soon here), but man ... I just think about how behind I am. I'm 20 years old. I just got my first car, I just got a cell phone, I've held a job for longer than 4-6 months ... and really, it's only my third job ever. I had one when I was 14-ish, another when I was maybe 17, and this one when I was 19. I have almost no friends here in the area. The friends i used to have don't really think much of me that I know of. Not that I really did anything wrong, I just didn't join them in going to get drunk and doing other stupid stuff. I was with my dad the other day for his birthday, and we were talking a little bit about those years (14-19ish) - he called them my 'recluse days.' But that's like 1800 days that I've spent not really accomplishing anything significant. But now that I can actually move around, I feel motivated to just go out and do stuff and be part of something good. But I still feel like there is a whole lot holding me back. I should probably address them. But yeah, I don't really know a lot of people. I know this stemmed when I switched from grade school to high school. I go from an environment where pretty much everyone is who they say they are, to an environment where pretty much everyone was two-faced. I was raised Catholic, my freshman year was at a Catholic high school, yet was everyone there a practiced Catholic? I don't believe there was a soul in there. I found [i]one[/i] person, who wasn't even Catholic, who actually was true to who she was. Had standards and stood by them. Being the way I am, I was attracted by that. I think after a while, though, I just sort of lumped everyone into the same boat. I didn't believe there were really any people out there, at least my age, that ... I don't know ... stood for something I guess. I'm heavy on morals and values if you can't tell, and I try my best to live up to them. My dad said he was talking to some relatives of his about how I'm almost 21, and they told him "I bet that will be a fun experience," and he just told them that I've never ever had any interest in drinking. I don't support it in the least. I drink responsibly by not drinking at all. I don't smoke because you shouldn't in the first place. *gasp* I've never had sex! There are 13-14 year olds who can't even say that. Just because I'm old enough to do something doesn't mean I need to go out and do it. I went back to a church for the first time in 4 or 5 years today. A Christian church an associate of mine mentioned to me, a good one that teaches straight from the Bible, not their own interpretations and opinions. First things first, it was definitely a different experience. It wasn't your typical church setting you'd think of, the one I grew up in. There was no sit, stand, sit, stand, stand, kneel, sit, kneel, stand, sit. There was no communion, there was no reading of the gospel or homily. It was so different, but I liked it a lot. They do exactly what I've always wanted: teach relevance, not facts. They teach the Word and how it applies to modern day, instead of beating the same stories into your head over-and-over-and-over-and-over again. On top of that, the pastor has a sense of humor, so that makes it even better. I think it lasted like, an hour and half (supposedly started at 9:30, ended at 11), but it only seemed like it was half an hour at most. The service today was about modesty, but I'm not going into that. There was a general statement made, though, about how people take for granted the freedoms available in this country. Not only take them for granted, but abuse them and go wrong with them. But it was said, and you may have heard this phrase before, but they said "Freedom isn't the right to do what you want, but what you ought." And that definitely left an impact on me, that's like ... my entire thought process in a nutshell. I'm not really sure where I was going with this, but yeah ... it's not like anyone reads this anyway, since I update entirely at random.

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Saturday, April 22, 2006

Pop quiz hot shot:

What's the difference between having high standards, and knowing what you want? Or maybe they go hand in hand. I sometimes think I have high expectations of people, meaning that in the slightest thing they do wrong (or at least wrong in my mind) my respect for them could drop even just a little bit, or considerably (like a guy at work who says he has been thinking about divorcing his wife basically so he has more money to spend on his motorcycle(s) and without a nagging wife!). But at the same time, I just think it's more that I know what I want, and anything less just disgusts me. Maybe this is a dilemma of ethics and morality. I don't know. I'm sure that's part of it. It just gets aggrevating sometimes because it seems that no one and nothing really fits the ideal. Expectations are never met. Now this deals a lot with people, so there is that whole "human error" thing, but where did we go wrong? Tori: The "ideal" isn't in superficial things like appearance, though. It's about who people are and what they stand for. Everything just seems so chaotic because almost no one stands for anything, and therefor don't really become the greatest of people to be around (most of which I wouldn't mind never having to see again). There are no standards and values anymore. There isn't any preservation of what was once held sacred. It just seems like everything is in a great decline. This isn't where I have expected people to be, this is looking at how we've been in the past, and looking at where they are now. Knowing that young people are the future, I can't say I'm that fired up about what's to come. It's like that "telephone" game. You say maybe three sentences to one person, who then tells them to the next, and the next, and the next. And chances are, by the time they get to the last person, the sentences aren't remotely what they once were.

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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Ch-ch-ch-Changes!

So! It's been a while hasn't it? Yeah, it has. Almost a year now. Things are looking up. A lot has happened that I don't care to go into, but it's all good. You should all play the song on my page, and enjoy it! Because it rocks. I don't care who you are.

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Friday, July 1, 2005

....

Isn't it funny when all these supposedly great things start happening to people, no one even stops to think how what is happening may be negatively affecting others? No one even stops to think of the pain a happy occasion may be causing another person. Some people have absolutely no one in whom to confide. They have no consolation. No one to pull them out of their downward spiral. I'll tell you right now that I am now secure in most aspects of my life. I know where I am going, and I know how to get there. However, I feel I am always going to be emotionally fucked up.

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