Saturday, June 18, 2005

   Bloody fathers ¬_¬
Yesterday was my sister's 22nd birthday so around 4:30pm we went to Alderwood to eat at Claim Jumper. We didn't get home till around 11:00pm so I watched a little tv and then went to bed. When I got up to walk the dogs this morning, I watched some Saturday cartoons (Yu-gi-oh and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! XD) then went back to bed. I woke up somewhere around 6:00pm because my mom was yelling at me to walk the dogs. So yeah, nice day, huh?

My dad gave me a guilt trip about an hour ago. He somehow got Sam to go somewhere with him and wanted me to go with them. To this arts and crafts festival tomorrow in Edmonds. That is so not my thing, that's Sam's thing. Besides, I have finals on Monday I need to study for and I actually have homework (can you believe it: two days of school left and STILL homwork!!!). So he said, "Fine, blow me off on Father's Day." Gee, thanks dad. Hey, it's not like I knew we were gonig to be working till the last day of school! In middle school you stopped working two weeks before school got out! This was my freshman year for crying out loud! How the Hell would I know?! x.x;;;

I'll shut up now.
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Thursday, June 16, 2005

   × §ymbols ª®e fuñ ×
Bleh ... at least my english final is over with. It had to be five to ten minutes long and I got four minutes and forty seconds. But since only two people so far have gotten in the correct time (because they had videos) Ms. Keim is being a little lenient so I'm okay. I dissed myself so much during the presentation too. >.>

I'm so surprised how much positive feedback I've gotten on my Numb No More and The Pain of Death - Chapter 8 stories!!! I was sure I was going to get slammed!

Well, I need to go find pictures for the health final. Kirsten and I FINALLY agreed to do a poster. If we get it all put together we might be able to present tomorrow instead of Friday.

Hehe, Elena and I are trying to figure out how to make certain symbols. Like...:

alt+47784 = ¿
alt+9999 = ¤
alt+2222 = «
alt+123456789 = §
alt+0172 = ¬
alt+01266 = ñ
alt+01495 = ×
alt+0195 = Ã
alt+01454 = ®
alt+47787 = ½
alt+47788 = ¼
alt+3578 = ·
alt+3469 = ì
alt+47782 = ª

XDDD That was fun.
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Wednesday, June 15, 2005

   Bleh ¬_¬
Omg ... I am so ready for bed; I'm really light headed and it's difficult to keep my eyes open. I updated The Pain of Death, but the chapter is shitty and short. x.x;;; I haven't updated that in a while. It probably sounds weird because I had half done from a while ago and just finished in like ten minutes. I didn't even proof-read it; that's how tired I am. And I CAN'T stand typos ... especially when they came from me; but I really couldn't give a shit. Too tireddd. I want to stay up to read the last chapter of Elena's FMA fanfic but I don't think I can. I need the extra sleep anyways ... presenting tomorrow.

Pepp made me sign her yearbook at lunch today. It was reeeeeeeally weird because she sounded ... nice. O.O Lunch was just interesting ... well, no shit since I was with Jesse for a little while. I swear, if Doug calls me New Girl ONE more time I am going to kick the shit out of him!!!

Okay, that was probably the worst grammar in the world; *shrugs* oh well.
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Tuesday, June 14, 2005

   Lmao, my stereotype ... what's screamo? o.O

You scored as goth. goth 67% screamo 61% emo 33% punk 22% hardcore 22% emo, screamo,punk,goth or hardcore created with QuizFarm.com

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   Story update
YESH!!!!! I FINALLY got my one-shot posted!!! I have a YYH and a FMA fanfic out that I haven't updated in forever but I finally finished the one-shot FMA fanfic! Go me!

http://www.fanfiction.net/~painfulxrecovery

There's the url to my fanfiction profile! Just in case someone other than Elena reads this and likes yaoi (YAOI RULES!!! XD) then I have three yaoi stories up!

In other news (God, I sound like the news x.x), I've cooled off about everything else. My mom is screaming at me to get to bed but she's [hopfully] falling asleep right now so, yeah. ^^;;;

Let's hope I don't have to present tomorrow ... I am not ready. But if I HAD to, I could probably wing it ... not that I want to. >.>

Yeah, I'm going to go now. Elena is reading my story and I need to go soon.
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Monday, June 13, 2005

   Damn it
I just found out I can't get a new cell phone till January. My phone is a piece of shit. I know I shouldn't be mad but I'm already upset so this is just making me explode. I'm already crying again. Life fucking hates me! There's nothing left to it!

God, I hope I don't cut. I usually do when I'm this pissed off.
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   Depressed ... again. What a shocker! T_T
God ... love fucking sucks. Who's with me?

I downloaded that song and now listening to it non-stop. The only thing that doesn't fit besides the eye colour, is when she says that she doesn't cry on the outside anymore. I'm crying right now ... but not just because of Jesse.

I am fucking sick and tired of getting my heart broken. My first crush/love lasted seven years. Do you know how pathetic that is?! Then I got into the internet and met someone and he said he loved me. I said I loved him back because I thought I did. That was in 7th grade and I was naive. Turned out he was this sicko twenty-some year old who was married or engaged with a kid on the way. Then there was David ... the first time anything worked out for me. But ended badly. I caused him to start cutting ... I caused him to end up in the hospital. All because I couldn't stop talking about Michael. And now Jesse. I don't exactly have the best luck for anything.

I thought only Evanescence could describe me ... no. Behind These Hazel Eyes says EXACTLY how I feel right now. It makes me feel pathetic ... makes me want to just give up and give in to what I've been wanting to do for a while.

I think I'm going to work on my english project and try to finish my FMA one-shot.
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   ...
I was just listening to "Behind These Hazel Eyes" from Kelly Clarkson and it made me think. Though the eye colour is wrong, it describes me. This is how Jesse made me feel ... especially right now. When I know that I can never be with him, because he is so wrong for me. I loved that he was that "bad boy" type, even if it was just an ego. He made me feel safe when he held me. But I know that he's just an asshole with an ego twelve times his heighth.

Why is it that love blinds us all?

I depise the fact that the one thing that destroys me, is the one thing I want more than anything.

¤~¤~¤~¤~¤

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
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Saturday, June 11, 2005

   La le la le la
OMFG!!!!! I MIGHT BE ABLE TO TRADE IN MY SHITTY EXCUSE FOR A CELL PHONE FOR A PRETTY, COOL, AWESOME FLIP PHONE!!!!!!! AND ... IT MIGHT HAPPEN TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, I'm hyper because of that. Hyper and happy that I might finally get a good phone. Plus, my jeans are almost done being cleaned. XDDD They haven't been in the wash for probably a month. Yeah, ain't it sad?

I hope food will be done soon. I'M HUNGRY!!! Because SOMEONE took away my cookie!!!!!!! XD
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   Works for me!!!

Which Fullmetal Alchemist charecter will you fall in love with and how by rai-rai
Name
Age
Gender	MaleFemale
who	Edward
when	November 18, 2018
How	he comforted you on the rebound
how long did it last	five seconds
any kids	34
how much money was spent	$5.77941660713677e+25
did you cheat on them	no
how many fights did you have	58
where did it happen	the alleyway where your gang lurks
Quiz created with MemeGen!

That's my new nickname from Jesse. Sam's is Drunky and Nikki's is Wuss. Lmao, yeah it's weird but hey, it got me Ed and I didn't cheat on him!!!

Which Fullmetal Alchemist charecter will you fall in love with and how by rai-rai
Name
Age
Gender	MaleFemale
who	Roy
when	November 28, 2050
How	he picked you off the street corner for $6
how long did it last	five seconds
any kids	76
how much money was spent	$3.45899972640005e+26
did you cheat on them	yes
how many fights did you have	96
where did it happen	a nice Cafe
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Which Fullmetal Alchemist charecter will you fall in love with and how by rai-rai
Name
Age
Gender	MaleFemale
who	Roy
when	March 9, 2037
How	he comforted you on the rebound
how long did it last	twas a one night stand
any kids	86
how much money was spent	$9.49455115985152e+26
did you cheat on them	yes
how many fights did you have	47
where did it happen	a bar
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Lmao, wow. $6 bucks! I'm hella cheap!!! XDDD

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