Monday, November 21, 2005

   Shoot me now, please?
I feel like screaming right now. Screaming and crying and cutting. God damnit. The situation with Darbie is getting so bad. She pees in the apartment literally every day and today she peed in the elevator lobby. I cleaned it the best I could but it's not great. When I went to walk Jazz and Darbie again, taking the stairs this time, Darbie just stopped and starting going again in the hallway. I had to drag her down the four flights of stairs to get outside. I wasn't even half-way there before I just started balling. Damn ... I'm crying again now too.

Dad knows what's going on and yet he's not doing anything about it. Mom and I are ready to take Darbie to the pound ... and I really don't want to do that. We've had her for nine years ... she's been part of our family so long, she's one of the very few things that I have left from everything. But like I told Mom, I'm tired of fighing Dad about it; I'm done. I'm afraid that means Mom's going to give up too ... which means the end of Boo Bear. We all know that no one will want to adopt a nine-year-old, half-blind, over-weight, sick dog.

I hope starting Winter Guard tomorrow will help me take my mind off of things. So many little things have been upsetting me lately ... but this takes the cake, definitely.

Thank God for loud, angry music, ne? I've been listening to my Breaking Benjamin - Blow Me Away AMV non-stop for a while now. If Mom wasn't in the room, I'd probably be singing along.

I suppose on a happier note, I saw Harry Potter on opening day. It was good. Wow ... that's about all the good news I have.

I have two tests tomorrow but fuck that. I'm not too worried about bio ... I'll just fail the AP World History test again. ¬_¬
Comments (1) | Permalink

Thursday, November 17, 2005

   Do doo do do ...
Do doo do do ... I have no clue if this entry is going to re-set itself and say it's the 17th ... but it's 11:47pm right now. I should be in bed but I'm not. Wh00t! *flies*

Okay, I'm wayyy too hyper for my own good. I stayed home today and I still feel like shit but like Hell I'll be able to stay home again. My stomach really hurts though ... like the one night Mom and I had food poisoning from those stupid pepperoni ... and I had pepperoni on my dinner tonight. o.o

Sis has completely gotten me obsessed with Envy now. Seriously. First, it was Ed, because I loved both Ed and Roy. When we started our rp, I adored Ed more. Then, she got me into Russell ... that's been and passed. XD NOW she's gotten me totally obsessed with Envy. I have soooo many pictures of him saved now. ^^ *glomps Envy* He smexeh. I think I'll put a couple of my favourites up at the end of the entry. Wh00tness!

I ... have nothing else to say.


This has to be my favourite picture of him. *SQUEE!* ^^



*¬*



Don't you just love the look he has? *waves* Bye-bye restaurant-owner-dude



And those are only the beginning of my collection! ^o^
Comments (1) | Permalink

Monday, November 14, 2005

   Just got home from school




What Naruto Guy is For You?


Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.

Wh00t! I got Kakashi! ^^

Today was boring just like any other day. We had yet another sub in AP World History ... I think Ms. Averill is dying or something. We have a sub every week. o.o

Going back to sign language wasn't bad ... we watched the end of a movie ((so I didn't really undersand it)) that had Howie Seago in it.

In english we watched a documentary about how a plane going to Chile crashed in the Andes Mountains and was stranded for 72 days. They ended up having to eat the flesh of their dead friends. @_@ We had to compare and contrast that to what happens in Lord of the Flies.

The rest of the day was blah. Right now I'm pigging out on Mom's Dibs. XD I finished mine last night. She's so going to kill me when she sees it's half ... more than half gone. x.x;;; *reluctantly puts them away*

I'm cold ... shit, and Darbie left two huge pee spots. @_@ This is my welcome home? Geez ...

Ja~
Comments (1) | Permalink

Sunday, November 13, 2005

   Random update
I haven't updated in a while so I thought I'd put up an entry.

Not much has been happening lately. The fight I had with Mom has passed, though sometimes I still wish she'd want to talk about it more. There are so many questions I want to ask and I know she doesn't understand ... I want to explain to her why I do SI and how I feel about it. But she continues to ignore me.

I'm a little scared to go to sign language tomorrow. I've only been there once last week. x.x;;; I was absent on Wednesday, no school on Friday ... and Pepp, Shadow, and I sort of skipped fourth period Monday and Thursday. We had so much fun on Monday though. That's how I got my new nickname Spot. XDDD Mine is much more ... civilized than Pepp or Shadow's. XDDD We can be rather weird, so I won't freak people out by telling you theirs. Anyway, I won't be skipping again any time soon. If I have five unexcused absences in one month, I automatically fail that class. So far, I'm at three so I'm okay.

Last night, Mom and I watched the Christmas tape from '93. It brought back a lot of memories ... though I don't remember anything that happened on that tape, I recalled a lot of things that happened when I still lived in Oregon and before the divorce. A part of me wanted to cry, another wanted to scream, and a different part just sat there staring at the screen in amazement. A lot of embarrassing things happened on that tape, but hey, I was three-years-old at the time. I had a pretty damn good vocabulary then too. XP I chased my dad away who had the video camera and Sam smacked into it with a toy airplane I got. I miss that toy. It would know when you made it go up and down and had really good sound effects. That Christmas, I was finally able to use scissors for the first time ever ... I didn't want to give up the power. @_@

Anyway, thanks to someone *coughsiscough* I'm becoming obsessed with Envy. >.> Russell's cool but Envy's better. XD Ed's starting to get come competition for first place.

I think it's time for PICTURES!!! ^^



That quote is so true.



Squee!!!


This would have been an awesome picture ... if only Ed's auto-mail was on the correct side. >.>

The first icon had me laughing till I fell out of my chair. >.<
Comments (1) | Permalink

Monday, November 7, 2005

   Uh oh ...
Holy fucking shit. I am the most idiotic person on the fucking planet. I've been lighting a candle lately and placing it on the computer desk next to me. I came home from school today and wen to turn the computer on, when something caught my eye. A brown mark on the edge of the computer monitor ... I look closer and there's also a dent. At first, I thought something hit it, but then it hit me. The dent was exactly above where the candle was sitting. I melted the monitor. I feel so completely stupid. Shit, I wonder what Mom's going to do. WHY DIDN'T I SEE THIS BEFORE?!?!?!

Gah ... I was going to update about the fight Mom and I had and shit, but I don't feel like it anymore. Long story short, Mom and I had a "disagreement" about SI. ¬_¬
Comments (2) | Permalink

Sunday, October 30, 2005

   Only 10:00pm and I'm ready for bed; why do I always go to bed early on weekends?!?!?! ¬_¬
I just came back from seeing Saw II with Maki. Scared the fucking shit out of me. x.x;;; I'm probably going to sleep in my Mom's bed tonight. *dies* People who have seen the first Saw: the sequel is ten times more gorey and scary. The ending is awesome, just like the first one. It's something that you can talk to for hours about with someone who had also seen it. Shadow and I are 'discussing' it now. XD

Mer ... I don't know what else to say.

If you ever see it though, when the detective asks 'Jigsaw' where his son is and he answers that Daniel's in a "safe and secure place", think about that. SAFE and SECURE ((hint hint)).

Comments (1) | Permalink

Monday, October 24, 2005

   Blah
Today was pretty low key. I fell asleep in ASL though ... twice. x.x;;; We had a sub and we watched this kindergarden-level tape.

In AP WH, we got new seats, and I sit next to Tom. ^^ I don't really know him but I'm looking forward to. XDDD

Walking home was a bit more pleasant than usual. I started with Alyssa, Alysha, and Alisha ((isn't that something? Two Alyssas and two Alishas! XDDD)) till they stopped at the religious school next door to wait for their siblings so I walked the rest of the way home with Rick and Christian. Rick was able to walk because his mom's in Seattle.

Ow, I keep bitting my lip; totally on accident too! I was chewing gum while walking home and bit the same place twice. =/

Damn, I'm tired. Blah, and it's not even 3:00pm yet! x.x;;;

Nahh ... ~_~

I have homework but I think I might take a nap first. I ... must ... seep!!!!!!! ((yes, I know I spelled that wrong XP))
Comments (0) | Permalink

Sunday, October 23, 2005

   Elephant
I just watched the movie Elephant. I'm still in shock of it actually. Then the credits came, I just sat there ... staring at the tv, stunned. I was shaking for a good ten minutes.

I know these things happen at schools; I hear about it all the time. But, actually seeing it through their eyes ... it was just overpowering. I just sat there, not believe that was the end and muttering, "Oh my God ..." to myself.

I know that there are some sick people in this world, but this was just barbaric. I want to cry so badly knowing that this happens to innocent people who have done nothing wrong in their lives. The last scene is still playing in my head. How a couple is hiding in the cafateria kitchen, in the freezer. One of the shooters finds them after killing his companion. He goes back and forth, chanting eenie, meanie, minie, moe ((or however you spell it)). It never shows who is shot first, but you know both were killed.

I still can't believe that it happened so casually. The two guys were so calm about it ... not one shread of regret or remorse or fear. It makes my stomach turn.

I guess that means I should say the movie was wonderful and really good, since it was like actually being there ... but I want to say it was horrible.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

   *Passes out*
I don't know why I'm so damn tired. It's only 7:30pm for fucking crying out loud!

Dad has to take Darbie like yesterday. Mom and I adore Darbie to death, but she is not an apartment dog and she's too much for us right now. Mom's always stressed and tired with work and I'm stressed and always drained from school and chores. Yeah, I'm lazy but that's sometimes because I try to calm down about everything.

Dad still hasn't taken Darbie to the vet and he got paid last Friday. Now we think Jazzie might have to go to the vet too. So now Dad has no choice in taking Darbie.

Crap, I haven't even done the bio short story that's due tomorrow. Screw it. I'll only be in that class for ten minutes ((during SSR)) anyway. I'm going on the field trip tomorrow.

Bleh ... mesa feel like shit. x.x;;;
Comments (0) | Permalink

   Mer
God, why does it feel so fucking late? It's only 9:00pm and yet it feels like it's almost midnight. Last night, I did go to bed past midnight x.x so maybe I'm just still tired. Though I took like a three hour nap when I got home from school today. *shrugs*

I just finished my algebra homework so now I have to catch up on my AP World History. We started unit two yesterday so I'm only a day behind. I'll probably just do that reading and then to today's reading tomorrow. I don't feel like having to read about fifteen pages from a college text book.

I'm finding out how I did on the AP WH test tomorrow ... hopefully I will since I made it up yesterday. I guessed so much. x.x;;; The scoring is so weird too. If you leave a question blank then you get -1 but if you get one wrong you get -1.25. How messed up is that?

I think I'm becoming obsessed with Three Days Grace. I already liked them, but I didn't know that many songs of theirs. When I watched Raise Your Voice, it had a scene of them in concert. I instantly wanted that song and others. I'm going to try to buy their CD whenever I get money ((yeah, in like the next century ¬_¬)). But till then I just downloaded a some. Raise Your Voice isn't that horrible for a Hilary Duff movie either. At first, I wanted to gag but when I watched it, I liked it. My biggest peeve about it, is that at a two or three parts, you can so tell it isn't Hilary singing. If she reach that note, that's fine but find someone who at least sounds somewhat like her!

Naaahh ... ~_~

So tired. I really need to get my AP homework done but I'm too lazy. Yesterday's reading was only three pages too ((a very rare and special event x.x))!

I'll probably end up just going to bed. Kick myself in the ass later for it. I don't really know what's going on in two of my other classes too. x.x;;; Being gone on Thursday really screwed me up. We're supposed to write a paper in both classes and I don't even understand what to do. *shrugs* I don't know. *sighs* Whatever.
Comments (1) | Permalink