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AIM
• XxOnlyxChancexX
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Birthday
• 1990-03-07
Gender
• Female
Location
• Washington
Member Since
• 2005-06-06
Occupation
• Student
Real Name
• Uh ... just call me Lyss; hey, only two letters taken off

Personal

Achievements
• Was in Winter Guard and ... um, passed all the W.A.S.L. tests with flying colours? o.O I passed my first year of high school too ... does that count?
Anime Fan Since
• Oh God ... since 5th grade at least
Favorite Anime
• Full Metal Alchemist
Goals
• To make the Symphonic choir at school and to pass all my classes ^^;;; But for my life goal/dream, I want to become a singer or writer ... though I adore singing more
Hobbies
• Singing, writing, colour guard, watching anime, reading manga, practically living on the internet or sleeping
Talents
• Singing, writing, colour guard




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Tuesday, June 28, 2005

   I'm losing it again
I don't know what's wrong with me ... I just want to cut really badly. I'm starting to feel like I did a few months ago where I looked for any excuse to cut. Anything in the littlest bit out of place to blame it on.

Today is only day 25 and yet it seems to much longer than that. My arm is 100% healed and whenever I look down at it ... to me it's as if my wrist is screaming to be wounded again. I don't have the little voice inside my head telling me to anymore ... I just have to look at my wrist. I'm almost twitching because I want to cut ... it feels like I need to, but I know I don't.

It's so weird. Nothing even happened to make me upset. I watched a show that made me cry earlier ¬_¬ but nothing that would make me snap.

I took some pain killers to calm me down. I guess I'm abusing them ... I take them when I don't have a headache. I need to stop that, but they do calm me down strangely enough.

I'm listening to my Evanescence CD ... which just happens to be the CD that I used to listen to when I would go on a cutting spree last year.

God, I just really want to carve "I'm sorry" into my arm ... then maybe "Poser" in my leg. I've wanted to do that for a while but never had the guts to. I must sound insane ... wow.

Hmn, Elena got offline without saying anything. Wonder if she got disconnected or something. Hope she comes back online soon.
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