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Tuesday, July 5, 2005


   ...
I'm sorry ... I didn't mean to ...

This 4th of July sucked ass. We all went to the park to watch the firework display ... the whole family was there. It felt like the old times ... only back when we were still a family we had our own fireworks. One of the gym teachers from my middle school was there; standing right behind us actually. Anyway, it ran over an hour late and my mom got tired of waiting so made me leave with her. Of course as we drive by they were going off. She offered to drop me off and get a ride home with dad or Sam, but I was already in a shitty mood. I didn't even want to go. I've wanted to cry all day, and I don't know why ... but ended up crying in the car. Good thing I had my hood on so my mom didn't see.

We got Taco Bell through the drive-though to eat at home, but when we got there, trash was everywhere. Someone, Jazzie and Darbie, had torn open the trash bag that was on the stool. They were lucky they didn't open the bag of the freezer-burnt raw chicken. Then in the living room, the dogs did number one AND two; and Darbie is a good sized dog so her pees are huge. That was just lovely.

I eat my tacos with just meat, cheese, and sour cream; but when I went to eat them, tomatoes and lettuce were on it. I couldn't even pick it out how much was on there. So all I could eat were my nachos.

I just wanted to fucking scream. I was already in a bad mood before we left, but that just made it so much worse. I ended up crying and cutting three times.

... I'm sorry, Elena ...

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