Saturday, July 23, 2005

   Mer
I'm ready to fucking scream.

I had an arguement with mom ... don't want to talk about that.

I took my shower afterwards and when mom went to take her shower I started vacuuming. I did a fucking good job ... not perfect, but our vacuum is a piece of shit. I even did behind her bedroom door and the kitchen runner. When she came out of the bathroom, I told her I was waiting for her to say it was okay before I shampooed.

"Did you pull out the chairs and do under the table?"

"... no ..."

"Then it's not good enough."

"..."

"That's what your sister does too, and you still need to swifer and mop since I know you didn't vacuum the bathroom."

"I know."

"It isn't good enough."

"..."

That's basically how the conversation went. So, I'm waiting for her to get her ass out of the bathroom so I can swifer and mop ... then shampoo. Like Hell I'm breaking the vacuum out again. That thing hates me ... and I don't have to shampoo the whole apartment ... just the living room and entryway. Hopefully she'll go on the deck or leave so I can do it in peace. Sam and I hate to do chores when mom's around ... she freaking critiques everything we do.

Now she's getting ready to give Jazzie a bath; then she said she's going to the office. Good ... I'll shampoo when she leaves ... bitch.

I know I'll calm down and regret calling her that but bloody Hell ... earlier I was fucking crying and persuading myself not to cut.

This entry makes no sense ... my mind is all fucked up when I'm angry.

I'm already calming down.

¤

I’ll be coming home
Just to be alone
Cause I know you’re not there
And I know that you don’t care
I can hardly wait to leave this place

No matter how hard I try
You’re never satisfied
This is not a home
I think I’m better off alone
You always disappear
Even when you’re here
This is not my home
I think I’m better off alone
Home, home, this house is not a
Home, home, this house is not a home

By the time you come home
I’m already stoned
You turn off the TV
And you scream at me
I can hardly wait
Till you get off my case

No matter how hard I try
You’re never satisfied
This is not a home
I think I’m better off alone
You always disappear
Even when you’re here
This is not my home
I think I’m better off alone
Home, home, this house is not a
Home, home, this house is not a

Home, home, this house is not a
Home, home, this house is not a home

I’m better off alone

No matter how hard I try
You’re never satisfied
This is not a home
I think I’m better off alone
You always disappear
Even when you’re here
This is not my home
I think I’m better off alone
Home, home, this house is not a
Home, home, this house is not a

Home, home, this house is not a
Home, home, this house is not a home
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