Tuesday, September 6, 2005

   Nothingness ... I guess
I don't know why ... I just feel sad. I have the urge to cry, but I don't understand why. I just feel very alone and numb.

Earlier, I was bouncing off the walls because I was so excited for tomorrow ... what happened to that feeling?

It's almost like I feel trapped. Like I'm suffocating in my apartment. It feels odd and yet normal. Oh God ... I hate that word ... that 'n' word.

Well ... I don't know what else to day. I don't really know why I even typed this entry.

Here's some lyrics that suprisingly fit my mood almost perfectly.

Escape by Hoobastank

Another day goes without any change
The feeling we live with still remains
We're stuck in a hole and we're searching for anything to hold onto
There has to be somewhere that we can be safe from the lives we live each day
There has to be somewhere that we can be far away ...

We have to escape and I will go anywhere if you just lead the way
Escape to a place where we'll be together, together everyday
You have to escape ...

We could living how we wanted to
Instead of doing things we're forced to do
With no one to tell us that we should be going through, what they went through
There has to be some place that nobody knows, somewhere we can only go
There has to be some place that we can be all alone ...

You have to escape ...

EDIT ::: Since I'm obsessing over my Hoobastank CD, I realized another song related to me. This one actually reminds me of how I feel about Ed ... only if he were real.

Disappear by Hoobastank

There's a pain that sleeps inside
It sleeps with just one eye
And awakens the moment that you leave
Though I try to look away
The pain it still remains
Only leaving when you're next to me

Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay

So I stand and look around
Distracted by the sounds
Of everyone and everything I see
And I search through every face
Without a single trace, of the person
The person that I need

Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay

Can you make them disappear?
Make them disappear

There's a pain that sleeps inside
Sleeps with just one eye
And awakens, the moment that you leave
And I search through every face
Without a single trace, of the person
The person that I need

Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay
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