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Monday, November 21, 2005


   Shoot me now, please?
I feel like screaming right now. Screaming and crying and cutting. God damnit. The situation with Darbie is getting so bad. She pees in the apartment literally every day and today she peed in the elevator lobby. I cleaned it the best I could but it's not great. When I went to walk Jazz and Darbie again, taking the stairs this time, Darbie just stopped and starting going again in the hallway. I had to drag her down the four flights of stairs to get outside. I wasn't even half-way there before I just started balling. Damn ... I'm crying again now too.

Dad knows what's going on and yet he's not doing anything about it. Mom and I are ready to take Darbie to the pound ... and I really don't want to do that. We've had her for nine years ... she's been part of our family so long, she's one of the very few things that I have left from everything. But like I told Mom, I'm tired of fighing Dad about it; I'm done. I'm afraid that means Mom's going to give up too ... which means the end of Boo Bear. We all know that no one will want to adopt a nine-year-old, half-blind, over-weight, sick dog.

I hope starting Winter Guard tomorrow will help me take my mind off of things. So many little things have been upsetting me lately ... but this takes the cake, definitely.

Thank God for loud, angry music, ne? I've been listening to my Breaking Benjamin - Blow Me Away AMV non-stop for a while now. If Mom wasn't in the room, I'd probably be singing along.

I suppose on a happier note, I saw Harry Potter on opening day. It was good. Wow ... that's about all the good news I have.

I have two tests tomorrow but fuck that. I'm not too worried about bio ... I'll just fail the AP World History test again. ¬_¬

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