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Tuesday, December 13, 2005


   I dun wanna go to practice ... *whines*
Today was boring. I got a decent amount of sleep and yet I'm exhausted. Too bad I have to leave for practice in an hour. *dies*

Brian has become so fucking ... protective, I think is the right word to use. I've known him since seventh grade and he knows that when I'm in a bad mood to leave me alone and stuff; he knows about my Depression from eighth-nineth grade; but he didn't know I did SI till a couple weeks ago. Right before he found out, he's give me hugs and stuff; but now whenever he sees me, he gives me this ... comforting hug. Then every other day practically he'll check my arm. It's a little creepy ... and yet it makes me happy. Jesse used to do arm checks too but doesn't so much anymore. It's actually sort of funny how when Brian walks up to me, he'll automatically say, "Stop cutting!" and THEN hug me. XD I just find that a little weird but humourous. At least at the moment, nothing is really happening to trigger me. I feel so guilty for "getting rid" of Darbie on Friday, then after practice Saturday I'll be going to DiAnn's to get Sora. I feel like I'm just replacing her ... sort of like when Fuey died. TWO days after Fuey's death, we got Taima and Reene. I know I'm not replacing them, but I feel like it. I don't know, maybe it's all just in my head.

Anyway, I have to do my chores before leaving for guard.

Ja~

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