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• XxOnlyxChancexX
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Birthday
• 1990-03-07
Gender
• Female
Location
• Washington
Member Since
• 2005-06-06
Occupation
• Student
Real Name
• Uh ... just call me Lyss; hey, only two letters taken off

Personal

Achievements
• Was in Winter Guard and ... um, passed all the W.A.S.L. tests with flying colours? o.O I passed my first year of high school too ... does that count?
Anime Fan Since
• Oh God ... since 5th grade at least
Favorite Anime
• Full Metal Alchemist
Goals
• To make the Symphonic choir at school and to pass all my classes ^^;;; But for my life goal/dream, I want to become a singer or writer ... though I adore singing more
Hobbies
• Singing, writing, colour guard, watching anime, reading manga, practically living on the internet or sleeping
Talents
• Singing, writing, colour guard




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myOtaku.com: PointlessxJourney


Monday, March 20, 2006

   ...
Life has been confusing and full of stress lately. I'm not sure how I should be reacting to it. It's as if I'm just ... existing; rather than living. Maybe I'm just at a loss about what happened the other night. Mom received a text message on her cell phone that said, "SUE I LOVE YOU." Sam and I just realized last night that the sender was Dad. But apparently he meant it to go to the other Sue ... her. Mom knows we know but I can't tell her! I have no clue how she will react to it. She thinks it's just an early April Fools joke. We already knew Dad was with her ... I just didn't like acknowledging it. Do I have the right to even be upset? My parents have been divorced for almost five years now. He has the right to move on ... but I do I have the right to be angry anyway?

It's times like these that I wish the tears would not come, but I could merely curl up and meld into myself. Just disappear from everything.

I have no right to be crying right now. I have no right to be upset. I have no right. None whatsoever. I'm just being the selfish brat I've always been. I should be working on my homework and presentation that I'm most likely doing on Wednesday, but no. I have to be my usual, stupid self and bitch my head off here.

Why do I feel so betrayed? What he's doing is perfectly natural. I'm not one of those daughters who want to keep their father to themselves. But then ... why is this affecting me so much? Do I miss having a father that much? Or is it the fact that I would rather die a thousand deaths than see the two responsible for the Hell my family went through together?

Why can I not let this go?
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