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Birthday
• 1989-03-25
Gender
• Female
Location
• wales, britain
Member Since
• 2005-01-22
Occupation
• school kid
Real Name
• zoe

Personal

Achievements
• artistic, and quite clever. i have 2 a grade gcse's already
Anime Fan Since
• 2001
Favorite Anime
• too hard to choose~.~
Goals
• to be happy one day
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• drawing,painting
Talents
• art




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myOtaku.com: poison tears


Wednesday, January 26, 2005

here again...
so here i am again, back in my depression.how sad.am i always sad now. things just seem to always get worse, no matter what i do. nothing ever seems to go right. i can never please. i can never be seen. always invisible. so strange i guess. but then i don't seek to be seen. i spend so much time thinking and dreaming, always in my dream world. its better than reality, so i may as well.i try to think back and remember things sometimes, anything. i can't remember much. its all locked away. i try to remember times when i was happy too. i only get snatches. running through the pouring rain for the bus with a friend, both of us laughing for no reason. that time it snowed and me and some friends met while i was on the way home, and we walked up to my friends house laughing and talking. a few snatches of happiness. its strange how much i sometimes want to be like all those normal school students. happy. nothing to care for but exams and a social life.
my friends have never seen me cry. thats good, otherwise they might worry. i think one or two may have seen cracks in the mask, when i've been close to tears, but they've never seen me cry. i'm losing control though. the other day i was in the art room painting like usual, and i noticed some water on my paper. i went to wipe it of, anda nother drop appeared. i realised i'd been crying, but hadn't noticed. it seems strange. i am strange. i should do another sculpture for my art. i smashed the last one. i didn't like it. i suppose i shouldn't have, i worked hard on it. but i did. and my friends couldn't stop me. its not like a picture where someone can grab me and pull it of me. i can just smash a sculpture. well, i had better go now. almost run out of time.
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