waah.after the whole 'boyfriend' incident with Anis and then NOW viv's changing into a different person...im wondering if we would still be able to stay firends...
note: i hope that if nis or viv is reading this...u might just want to reflect on yourself and especially nis...i hope that u would make up again with nadi
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okay. firstly. the whole 'boyfriend' thing.
it begins like this. Nis fell for a guy and has been going out with him ever since. and that guy happens to be Nad's cousin. Nis didnt tell anyone of us about this. at least..not me nor Nad. Nad is feeling upset firstly because as friends she felt that Nis should have told us...and also she feels that its as if she's going out with her cousin's girlfriend...not Nis anymore. (she found out via her lil cousin aka nis's boyfriend's sister)
Anis thinks that Nad is just being childish and immature,and is hating Nad for not approving of their relationship. but actually..there's another side to this...
Nad,on the otherhand,was rather unhappy when i told her this. no. i didnt mean to be nosey,but i just felt that she has a right to know about what Nis is feeling about this whole thing. She replied me, saying that she didnt want Anis to be with her cousin is because nad's cousin had been a nasty person to her..and she didnt want Nis to go through the same thing.
well...afterall..he is nad's cousin...so she knows more about him than nis...when people are madly in love,they arent sensitive to whats going on around them..or at least...thats what i've heard..
well. as someone who isnt really involved. i wont really know....but im gonna take nad's side and help her ask nis to calm down first. and we really want us to be FRIENDS. YAMI should remain as YAMI,not AMI. = <
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secondly. its about viv.
well. initially...about her fangirlishness and falling for a couple of guys..oh..okay..not too many..but oh..well...it wasnt much of a big deal. FANGIRLISHNESS IS NOTHING WRONG!!!!!!! ...and like..whoa..that's NOT the whole point.
after reading her post about todays happenings(eh. pop over to
her site if u havent done so to grasp a better idea of my babbling)...i dunno...she feels like a totally different person to me. it feels as if i dont know her anymore.
Yes..i did know about the slashings and the whole goth thingy...but whoa. i would have never imagined for her to be huddling with a guy(or whatever it may be that u did with that guy)..i thought that she would have simply tried to get away from that situation. i thought that she was more clear-headed than the other one who is head-over-heels aready..
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i dont know. it suddenly feels as if everyone has changed. i have 2 other childhood friends who has already gotten boyfirends and broke up with them...and one of them whom i shall address as 'bird',has gotten another boyfriend.
the whole thing is,despite knowing each other for so long...even longer than i've known Nad and Nis and Viv....they told me no nuthin about this! im feeling so left out from their lives..as a friend...all of them.
well at least if i really got a boyfriend and is going out with him, i know i would certainly tell my friends...okay...i wont tell them simply everything...but at least i would tell my close friends aka Y.A.M. ...that is....if we can still stay as friends...about my Boyfriend. and certain u guys on myO ^///^; like i have been with HIM. hehe. although thats not much.
i dont want any stupid guy ,or any stupid rumours,to get in-between any of my friendships with any stupid idiot,no matter how dumb they are,they're still my friends. if the stupid boyfriend or rumour really managed to break up our super-close friendship,i wont allow it to be like that. i cant bear to see people being upset with their family or friends...until the stage where it cant be salvaged.
Take my mum for example. she is sooo fed up with my grandmother aka her mother. well. grandma is 90years++ of age now...and she has hearing difficulty and the stubborn behaviour just like any typical old folk. but Grandma keeps accusing people of taking her money(gawd i keep making typo errors),including my mum. well. hmm..what can i say? she's too obsessed with money. and Mummy always get fed up with her and hang up,slamming the phone down. she gets real scary when she does that,and actually without anyone noticing,i always cry secretly over this. She was never that scary..only towards grandma.
i dont know. what im actually afraid of is that my family would be broken up and relationships broken. my family is happy,i've got both papa and mummy under the same roof..not quarelling and stuff. but as the sensitive person i've always been(my mum said that once,when i was watching this serial drama and there was a fire scene,i was all crying and stuff.),watching and understanding the people in serial dramas with broken families and the pain they went thru..i dunno. i kinda have a trauma for that. i mean. who would want a broken relationship,be it friends,families,colleagues....its all so horrid.
luckily my prayer came through. before the new year,i prayed to the gods for my mum to reconcile with my grandma and be less unhappy with her. well. and also that that they wont quarell or bicker-for new year's day at least. Everything went smoothly yesterday i guess. im so glad nothin major happened. with her accusing people of stealing her $$$$,im so glad that i didnt visit a house of unhappyness for the new year. it was rather lively of course. Grandma didnt do anything much. Mummy says that she was too eager to go home and count her $$$ happily. lol. i hope things stays like this..for the rest of our lives.
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well. if experiencing all this troubles and pain are a part of growing up,i never want to. like that chinese song <
>,i really dont want to. although i wont lose my prince charming by doing that(eh...i dont...no i dont!!),i feel that i would lose my friends,and is losing my friends already as time flies by.
even with that goat aka ghost aka reymond. after being sorted into different classes,well,we barely talk anymore(not as if we were talking like normal friends. lol. probably talking stuff like 'baka' to each other). i dont know. after seeing his MSN personal message as 'why am i so useless? why cant i do what other people can manage to do?'...i really feel that he has changed into a gloomier person. Not like we were close anyway XD. just academically-related aka 'rivals'.
no. for the billionth time,i dont feel a sigle thing for him. grrrr. its just that he feels like someone whom i can trust,like an onii-chan. (maybe cus he's older). i dont know.i like being with my baka onii-chan than onee-chan.(probably cus onee-chan's older than onii-chan,and onii-chan feels like an onee-chan! XDDDDDDDD)lol. i didnt really spend my childhood with either of them,but im closer to nii-chan due to video games. i didnt grow up playing that icky Barbie doll,but video games including King of Fighters,etc. as a kid i've watched my dad play airplane-related games and racing games(and yea im more interested in the racing games ^^) teehee. but i still like being with mummy and in my bed O o ...no wait..that has nothing to do with gender and other stuff... and watch mummy make lots of pretty clothes and stuff. probably its because mummy's a tailor,thats why im better in drawing skirts and dresses. lol. or maybe its because i fancied the way it twirls and spins around gracefully.^^ lol. or maybe its because there has been a period of time i wasnt allowed to wear them due to my badly bitten leg by the bedbug. ah. its gone now. but my leg is still scarred due to my caelessness and clumsyness,falling down and well,bumping into stuff and well...now i've got quite a 'few' bruises on my legs. ah. -_____-
oops. i think i might have blabbered on tooooo much. lol. thanks for your patience in bothering to go through all these crap. sometimes even i would simply scroll down to the bottom after seeing such a long post. lol. thanks for visiting anyway...^^...Toodles and good night~
-disappears into the darkness with a flicker of ghastly flame~- 
growing up...????
