ugh. yesterday we got into a fight. well. apparently,my 2nd redrawn YAMI neoprint was on the sofa. and it was crushed. ugh. well. it MIGHT have been my head.but hell. guess what she said. "its your own fault(why are you blaming me for this?)" well. i got really FED UP this time. "yea yea ITS ALWAYS MY FAULT!!!!" and then i stomped back off into my room.
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i mean like hell. all i said was. "ah~ mummy~ its crumpled again" in a semi-whining and complaining tone. i didnt say "why did you crumple my drawing?". wth!! i mean. shes F O R E V E R like that! when i've done my 'task',she'll always go "have you done it?" when i've finished doing it and right in front of her to see! AND she NEVER remembers that! so she'll go asking me over and over again. and stuff. even when i've finished my food and she sees an unfinished plate she comes to ME asking me whether i've finished my food. LIKE OF COURSE IF U DONT SEE ME HOLDING THE PLATE OR SPOON ITS NOT ME!! i would always tell her when i dont want to finish it. yea. whatever
well. its like. i feel that she's not trusting me! WTH! why?! of all your stupid kids? why ME?!! its always me getting the blame for stuff first. the finger point to me,me,ME! why?! its really unfair being the youngest!!
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well. after that. being really hurt and all,i started to cry. i mean. when i go stomping my foot along the way,that would mean im really annoyed. well. that is like,SUPER obvious it applies to EVERYONE right? and i was crying (well. i dont brawl like a baby.i cry silent) and sniffing hard for sure you could have heard from the living room. like. hell!
i've been sitting there feeling really horrible and upset and heartbrokened crying for a doggone hmm...at least some 15 mins. i can hear everything perfectly well from where i am.
well guess what? all she said was "crazy/stupid" or something likewise,and she switched channels on the telly to catch the drama. and ME?! still left crying sadly alone in the room without anyone to care. like hell!
throughout the whole night,she didnt say a word to me all she did was to smile about it like hell it was obvious when i finally went to bathe i had to pass by the living room to go to the bathroom and was still sniffing hard. well. even pops could tell that im still sulking and crying. and what did she do? continue watching her drama.
the thing is, NONE OF THEM EVER CARES! or maybe papa does,but not MAMA! she didnt come to comfort me,she didnt apologize! or do anything to appease me!
and even now,as im typing this post,crying again because of sad memories,she doent even care! and we are in the same room im sooo darn sure anyone would be able to tell if another is crying.
great! all too great! shes being perfectly more concerned in her korean drama than in me,more absorbed into the radio than to hear and notice me crying
and all she told me,when me,crying,now,was 'stop playing on the computer and go study for your chinese'
like can you believe it?! thats too much! too hurting. too conceited.
why do parents NEVER FAIL to see what the kids do not need(ie. why do parents always fail to see what their kids really need) and want from them? they think that they are just beeing childish and throwting tantrums
well. perhaps i really am. but not even a coax,no nothing! like,i didnt exist,like i was a total STRANGER living under the same roof!
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yea. its like. theres just so much more unhappyness in my life to rant about,as compared to happy ones. i dunno, i dont think shes even gonna care even if i cry myself blind someday. heck.
i wanna escape it all. just to fall into a deep sleep....i dont care even if i just die like that....take my life away please....
well. btws. here's a tiny updaate on myO~
whee^^(is fake smiling of course...)
well. shall be away on hiatus for as long as till next wednesday probably. bleah. may your lives be good while i aint around...cus i know mine wont be much better off....
about that britney spears comment. well. all i've gotta say is that im glad i aint born 4 hours later on the 2nd of december. well. if i were,i would have shared the same birthday as britney. yukk. might have thought it cool in the past,not anymore. having the same birthday,of the same gender,means that its very likely we are gonna share the same personality. which means i'll be breaking the hell loose and 'living it high' like britney. NOOOOOOOOOO! nightmare!!!! bleah. ewwwww. i mean. its just one freakin guy who dumped her. she has a good future. and look at her sorry state
well. standing from a girl's point of view. perhaps its because we're the same sign,but its like,i'll probably go bonkers over a heartbreak from a guy. but then again. no. i'll probaly just hell get over it somehow.
when i fall in love
it better be forever
cus u know i cant take the heartache
and i cant live without you~
-end post-
-disappears into the darkness with a flicker of ghastly flame~- 
