hm. dying from the pokes yet? aww no? *pokes* there. welcome to the underworld XDDDDDDD
-long post alert-
emo post for...ah yes. monday..um. no. tuesday
hm. i WANTED to do one. but then again. i couldnt cus i hafta rush through my homework. i dunno. i dropped the marimba cus my senior on my left had a bottle in the hand and so uneven distribution of strength.
it fell. and i screamt(i thought i forgot how to. i did). and somehow along the way they think that IM the one who was weak and frail and powerless so i was the one who dropped it. like hell NO. it aint my bloody fault
and then to the heavy congas i went. whatever it was. along the way back. i felt pain as i leaned the conga towards my hips(cus its heavy it had to rest on my body),so my strength was all on the hand to support and carry the damn thing. my hand went really red and pained..like..sting-y. and the vein were getting pushed so i guess it was a problem of bad circulation~
my dumb junior (the one who pissed me off last time)'s friend. the only clarinet boy. equally annoying. was going all 'aiyah u're so weak u cant even carry the congas in on your own! lousy' when my friend (insisted on) helpin me with it. i got super freaking pissed and i death glared so hard at him. my other senior who was the one with the bald head was going 'eh okay! relax...' cus i was staring right through him.
i wanted to smash stuff. they should be glad i didnt break anything. maybe it was the pain. maybe it was pure anger. tears fell. of hatred. and the friend who helped me was like 'eh dont cry la its not your fault' she thinks that i was crying over the marimba. well. one of the teachers came in and well. she didnt say anything at all. cus of my black face probably. i was totally FREAKIN PISSEd at the moment.
finally. i broke down and cried on the way home. to the bus stop. well. i went to the further one because the dumb junior was heading to the nearer bus stop. pissed i was. i went to the next
well. the bad part is. my tears were kinda blocking my vision welling up. and the dance teacher aka my chinese teacher came by and saw it. damn. how worse can my day get?! so yep.she got worried. ugh. i didnt wanna say much though. was not in the mood to.
remember about the day getting any worse? it did. on the bus 13,i saw guppy-san. ugh. and his friends from the stage crew. HOW BAD COULD THINGS GET?!!(twas the end). so,being forced to move inwards,and having to say 'no thanks i dont need the seat im getting off' to 2 random ladies on the bus,he heard me. gack! thankfully. i was getting off in a few stops. ugh. he said bye and i have to reply. and there goes his dumb friends saying 'eh u know her?''look towards your 10 o clock direction'(i was,if it was correct,10 o clock in position). hmpf. dumbness. well. given his slow and tiny brain,he didnt sense any tinge of the return of dumb rumours. ugh!
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mn. wednesday. nothing much. today was the rehearsals at the convention centre. bleah. more unhappys. and more guppyness. ugh
well. we didnt have enough space at the back for us percussion. because of this dumb thing called the screen where images are projected and we being the start of the concert. ugh. so hell we were cramped. yukk. more stress. i hate space management now. ugh~ irritating~~ so after all the gibberish and we were settled down. we played through our pieces.
when we shifted the cymbals over to the bass drum for one song,mr baldy was left there alone. eek. and he totally missed his part. i was on the other side going OMG FREAK! KENNY~!(twas his name) >< and air gong-ing the parts for him. when we shifted the stuff back for the second song,i was like totally going OMFG! KENNY~!!!! i wanna kill u!!! thats it,take home my score tonight and memorise it ugh! pissed. and i almost tripped over the gong so hm. space management tomorrow: make sure i dont tripp!
and there comes the guppy. well. he was the head of the stage crew (xP) and then he was hiding behind the curtains,and talking to my other 'friend' who was playing percussion2 also. dumb annoying guys. haha! in the end they were scolded. XDDDDD too bad! told ya to shhh!
...apparently. we got a mass scolding later by the HoD CCas. >< she used to be my literature teacher in sec1. a nice lady. she scolded us for moving the instruments out of the backstage doors into the common corridor. apparently. the audience and see all of this.(its only th rehearsal!) so she told us off. and i was really sad and grabbing my ears(pulling my ears? well. i do have this little habit of playing with my earlobes when im nervous) >< and i felt really sad~ uwaaah~! gomennn~ *sniff*
hm. thats all for today. the emo long poem is below. bleah. since i wasnt able to post,i made it instead. well. tomorrow's the big day. ..and saturday too. -.- sad. no lunch provided. hm. food it wayyy better this time! ^^ happyness~ yummy food~ ah heck. this calls for cocoa!! ^^ wheeeeee~ and im trying to get mum up in the morns too to fry the vegetarian ham for me. no eggs tomorrow. cus we werent allowed them on the first and 15th on the lunar calendar. >< bleah. lets hop that i dont get too much into blank spacin and doze off. i get really cranky when i are sleepy. hm. gonna go. homework~ >< bleah. toodle dee! ^^
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when the skies grew dark and night would fall
i cried and cried like nothing at all
'why are they so cruel to me
im sad,im hurt,im only a human being'
but these desperate cries reached none it seems
for darkness continues,without a glint
of light ,to guide, anywhere around
i ran in the darkness and fell to the ground
my scarred heart yet hurt once more
and it hurts it hurts right down to the core
my tiny wings,broken and frail
and im lost in the darkness without a trail
'why is life so horrid to me?
i feel,i feel,i dont wanna live
if things are gonna be this way
i wished i never had another day'
lightning struck and my tears fell
why,that was, u never could tell
when i needed you the most in my life
where were you,and left me to strive(my way out)
the you i knew was already long gone
you left me feeling so forlorn
you walked and disappeared into the light
and i, running with all my might
despite my efforts, i couldnt catch up
i stood there feeling like a sitting duck
i grasped your hand,it turned to dust
and in the dark i stood alone
once again,heart's dropping like stone
and lonely i am,terrified,with no one to trust
'would i ever see the light again?'
its far,its far,its really faint
i took my chance and prayed real hard
that i would find my way eventually outta this one....
-end of duper long post ^^;-
-disappears into the darkness with a flicker of ghastly flame~- 
